A shuffle of bureaucrats in the government department that my organisation deals with for project funding means that we now have a new mandarin to deal with. I haven't met him yet, but will in a few weeks. I've heard from two different people now "he's very tiny", "he's like a child"...and having read of the similar difficulties raised by many trans men on this forum it does make me wonder if this guy is trans.
It's his own business of course and good on him if he is...but given the way these two people talk about him because of his size is somewhat condescending I'd feel particularly bad for him if he was trans. It would be bad enough for any man to be "mocked" for being small but it seems particularly cruel if they are also trans.
As a taller than average woman I know what it feels like to stand out due to size - although the dynamics of society prejudice means being tall is rarely mocked, even for women. I'd rather be shorter and I'm guessing many trans men would rather be taller. I have a trans man friend in real life and he is about five feet tall, if that...he's very hairy so people probably don't refer to him as a child but bizarrely he still gets misgendered in dimly lit situations, presumably because of his voice and height. Sigh, height prejudice! (Bizarrely, the mandarin has the same first name as my friend!!)
So anyway, good on this new mandarin if he is trans. I may not even be able to tell if he is when I meet him. But if I can, and he is, I know I'm going to find it hard to bite my tongue if people keep referring to him as a tiny child behind his back. As it is, I almost floated "perhaps he's a trans man" to the second person telling me how tiny he was but didn't because even if he is it isn't my place to out him via a hypothetical.
I'm pretty sure these people would feel bad if they realised they were mocking a trans guy for his height but even so it still isn't my place to say anything...is it?