Author Topic: This forum is my trigger  (Read 1274 times)

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Offline redhot1

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This forum is my trigger
« on: March 19, 2017, 04:49:22 pm »
I find this forum is making me feel something that I don't, whenever I come visit. I have been abstaining from this community lately. I don't know about my mom. She's probably going to forget if I bring up the topic of being trans in the future. I'm sorry but I'm kind of mumbling my posts today.

I believe I only think about possibility of being transgender when I see something on TV or the web about it anymore. It doesn't come up in my mind otherwise. I think these are likely not legitimate "triggers". I realize, why would I feel legitimately transgender or even maybe on the spectrum at all?

I know I was on this forum for 2 years now and made a lot of posts, but I don't feel quite the same as I did when I first started posting. I still admit that I could border on the spectrum of trans. But I'm having trouble getting my life together as it is now, I don't drive and I haven't worked a "real" job to pay for myself before.

Please let's discuss or ask questions.

Offline SailorMars1994

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2017, 04:58:20 pm »
Theres a girl on this site you remind me of in a couple of ways. Her name if i recall is Emily.

Anyways, seeing transgender people is a big trigger for some. Its why many trans and gay ''haters'' ''hate'' seeing trans and gays and it sparks a reality they want to brush off or otherwise could brush off. In your case you may be able to bursh it off easier. but the question you need to ask yourself isnt if you feel trans per say, but rather feel like a woman. Unless you are cis anyone can be trans, but a woman born in the wrong body is a special kind of trans. There are many things you can do in the non-binary. Have at er!
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Offline redhot1

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2017, 05:02:42 pm »
I don't "feel" like a woman, can I still be considered non-binary? Actually, asking if I "feel" like a woman is a little difficult to answer right now at the same time.

Offline Daniellekai

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2017, 05:06:03 pm »
Do you ever get distracted by the "wrong end" of the clothing store? I know I do, it's like I want to be shopping there, but I know people would look funny if I just sidled into the dress racks and started shuffling...

Offline Dani

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2017, 05:53:01 pm »
Has anyone said "gender fluid" yet?

Not all of us want to transition to a new gender permanently.



Offline Daniellekai

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2017, 05:56:21 pm »
Has anyone said "gender fluid" yet?

Not all of us want to transition to a new gender permanently.

I think that's where we're going with the questions honestly

Offline Dena

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2017, 05:57:40 pm »
I don't "feel" like a woman, can I still be considered non-binary? Actually, asking if I "feel" like a woman is a little difficult to answer right now at the same time.
I had my surgery in 1982 and from that time on, I never felt like a woman. What I no longer feel is uncomfortable as a man. A CIS person doesn't have a longing to be the other gender because they are comfortable with the gender they were born as.

Non binary is when you are not comfortable in either gender and it's a compromise of mixing both genders to find the place where you are most comfortable.

As for the site triggering you, think back about what caused you to look for this site in the first place. It had to be something that made you uncomfortable with your birth gender. Most likely that part of you hasn't changed and if it hasn't, you are most likely transgender.
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Offline Sno

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2017, 06:21:51 pm »
Hiya.

I'd love to be able to say I feel like a woman, but the reality is, I feel like me. What has helped me immensely is working out what I am not (a man) because of how I folk respond when I am obviously not doing what folk expect a man-suit to do. And that male fail, is quite often...

I find talk about gender amongst my cis and LGB friends triggering - I just want to scream that they *just dont understand* like a petulant teen - because the talk is dressed up in such a way that it is clear that they have never, ever, ever had reason to question or doubt their gender.

When I can quiet my dysphoria mentally, using the 3 D's, I find the questioning subsides a fair amount, and I get a glimpse of what it means to be cis - again, highlighting that I am not.

Rounding back, by eliminating what I am not, I have been better able to define what I am, so I will ask.

Do you feel like a man?

Sno


Offline Daniellekai

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2017, 07:33:30 pm »
Of course the real question is "what does a being a woman feel like?" I'd hazard a guess that it feels pretty much the same, 99% of it is just how others perceive you, the other 1% seems pretty unpleasant anyway (periods)

So there's not a literal way to feel like a woman, because both men and women feel like humans. Basically, do you want to be able to be feminine without anyone judging you, or showing any signs of being disturbed, and vice versa for masculine, although women can be masculine in our society there are limits there too, people would look twice (4 times or more) at a lady with a duck dynasty beard.

This is not a sure fire test by any means, but if you answer sometimes yes to both questions then bi-gendered or gender fluid is likely, if always yes to both then I'd look into androgenous types that I'm not too familiar with, and then there's obviously the binary answers always no to one of the two and either sometimes or always yes to the other. This makes it sound simple to figure out, but just getting an honest answer to these questions from yourself can be difficult...

Offline TomTuttle

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2017, 09:05:34 pm »
I totally get the idea of being triggered by an online community. I've had it before on another forum where everyone just seemed really whiny and overthinking. I already overthink so I didn't need that. I may quit here too. I am a forum addict and I get way too wrapped up sometimes and its totally unhealthy. I reccomend announcing your departure on the forum, then you feel really weird whenever you go back because you know what you said.

Offline Dena

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2017, 10:02:07 pm »
I totally get the idea of being triggered by an online community. I've had it before on another forum where everyone just seemed really whiny and overthinking. I already overthink so I didn't need that. I may quit here too. I am a forum addict and I get way too wrapped up sometimes and its totally unhealthy. I reccomend announcing your departure on the forum, then you feel really weird whenever you go back because you know what you said.
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Offline Sinclair

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2017, 10:21:42 pm »
I had my surgery in 1982 and from that time on, I never felt like a woman. What I no longer feel is uncomfortable as a man. A CIS person doesn't have a longing to be the other gender because they are comfortable with the gender they were born as.

Non binary is when you are not comfortable in either gender and it's a compromise of mixing both genders to find the place where you are most comfortable.

As for the site triggering you, think back about what caused you to look for this site in the first place. It had to be something that made you uncomfortable with your birth gender. Most likely that part of you hasn't changed and if it hasn't, you are most likely transgender.

Dena, that's a surprising answer. Though it is documented that some who have had GRS have regrets, I'm surprised to see you state you never felt like a woman.

To me, I don't care about GRS. I feel like a woman, I know I should have been a girl at birth. It's very powerful.  It's core to who I am. It makes me smile. I think I would feel the same if I had a GRS or not. What defines me is what I feel and what I know. I know I'm a girl ... everything in my life points to that. And more importantly, everything I do to reaffirm that makes me smile. I love being a girl and I love feeling that I am a girl. I do everything I can to reinforce that. It makes me happy. It's like I found home, or something. I know everyone is different, but, I'm just so excited everyday to be female, and I've been exploring this for many years.

Offline Dena

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2017, 10:51:36 pm »
Dena, that's a surprising answer. Though it is documented that some who have had GRS have regrets, I'm surprised to see you state you never felt like a woman.

To me, I don't care about GRS. I feel like a woman, I know I should have been a girl at birth. It's very powerful.  It's core to who I am. It makes me smile. I think I would feel the same if I had a GRS or not. What defines me is what I feel and what I know. I know I'm a girl ... everything in my life points to that. And more importantly, everything I do to reaffirm that makes me smile. I love being a girl and I love feeling that I am a girl. I do everything I can to reinforce that. It makes me happy. It's like I found home, or something. I know everyone is different, but, I'm just so excited everyday to be female, and I've been exploring this for many years.
I wanted to be a woman and I knew my near constant depression was caused by not being one. RLE reduced the feelings as I primally have social dysphoria but surgery freed me of testosterone and eliminated both of those feeling. I don't wish to return to being male and I am comfortable as I am. It might be the difference between social and body dysphoria but I don't know. I am attempting to learn more about body dysphoria to determine other differences between the two.
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Offline KarynMcD

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2017, 10:51:53 am »
I'd love to be able to say I feel like a woman, but the reality is, I feel like me.
What Sno said.
I feel like me. I feel more happy in this world being perceived and socializing as a women though.

What make you happy?

Offline Asche

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2017, 12:12:06 pm »
Count me as another M2F who "never felt like a woman."  But I know I'm a lot happier living as one.  I don't so much feel "female" as feel "me."

FWIW, I never felt like a man, either.  It was just how other people labeled me.  Being labeled as a man came with a lot of very uncomfortable baggage, though.

The assumption that you have to "feel like a woman" to justify transitioning to female is one of the things that held me back for about a decade, in some sense maybe longer.


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Offline redhot1

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2017, 05:51:37 pm »
Why didn't you "feel like a man"?

Offline J2J

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2017, 08:02:48 pm »
I can understand the feeling of forums/online communities being a 'trigger', I guess I kind of try and suppress my feelings and think "ha, like I will ever be able to transition" then I get the urge to snoop around and see all these people transitioning and think "well, these people do it, why can't I?" then the cycle continues.

Offline Maybebaby56

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2017, 08:33:51 pm »
Count me as another M2F who "never felt like a woman."  But I know I'm a lot happier living as one.  I don't so much feel "female" as feel "me."

FWIW, I never felt like a man, either.  It was just how other people labeled me.  Being labeled as a man came with a lot of very uncomfortable baggage, though.

The assumption that you have to "feel like a woman" to justify transitioning to female is one of the things that held me back for about a decade, in some sense maybe longer.

Good stuff, Asche, and Karen.  I have no idea what "feeling like a woman" is either,  because I spent most of my life as a male. I'm just me, but I am much happier assuming what I call a "female user interface".  I just want to interact socially, and be identified as a female.  The female social role is very comfortable for me.

The label thing is also a great point.  I never felt comfortable being male.  I am a transsexual woman. I realize that label puts me on the very margins of society, but I have accrued enough male privilege to escape the worst aspects of discrimination.  I just want to be an average middle-aged woman, and I feel that is very much within my grasp.

with kindness,

Terri
 
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Offline CarlyMcx

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2017, 08:42:40 pm »
I think I knew that I was a girl in early childhood, based on the scant memories I have from that far back.  That is, I knew I was a girl until I was told that I wasn't.  Mom said I cried when I got my first haircut.  I remember trying to line up with the girls on my first day in kindergarten.  Playing concert flute from fifth grade until the end of high school.  Building a model railroad and historical dioramas (Because I couldn't have dollhouses).  And lots of other little things that, taken by themselves meant very little, but weave them together into a cohesive whole, and -- I'm a girl.  I couldn't wear pink as a child, but when Don Johnson wore pink on Miami Vice, I spent the entire 1980's wearing pastel colored T shirts and polo shirts.

After I was told I wasn't a girl, I tried to fashion an alternate identity I could live in, but that was all that it was -- a male persona that I created and used to interact with the world.  I never thought of myself as a man, because I always felt like I wasn't qualified for the job.  But it was a job I had to learn and I had to do.

I gutted it out living as a man until the anxiety and the panic attacks had all but killed me.  I couldn't stand it any more, so I went in for therapy and started hormones.  I've turned from a sad, cynical, disaffected guy to a girl who smiles every time she sees herself in the mirror.
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Offline Sinclair

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Re: This forum is my trigger
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2017, 09:25:05 pm »
Good stuff, Asche, and Karen.  I have no idea what "feeling like a woman" is either,  because I spent most of my life as a male. I'm just me, but I am much happier assuming what I call a "female user interface".  I just want to interact socially, and be identified as a female.  The female social role is very comfortable for me.

The label thing is also a great point.  I never felt comfortable being male.  I am a transsexual woman. I realize that label puts me on the very margins of society, but I have accrued enough male privilege to escape the worst aspects of discrimination.  I just want to be an average middle-aged woman, and I feel that is very much within my grasp.

with kindness,

Terri

What does any of that even mean? I'm disappointed that some here feel that my feelings are invalid. I do feel like a woman, that is very important to me, and I'm sorry if u can't understand that. You are taking about political labels and such. Screw that.

If you don't feel like a woman, why in the hell would you want to pretend to be one? If you discount what feeling like a woman is, you have lost me completely. I don't want to pretend to be a woman. I don't want to be comfortable appearing as a woman. Or, play a woman for political, social, or fetish reasons. It's 2017 ... it's confirmed that some are born with equal, there about, genetic material to be either sex. That would be me. I have both female and male traits. I prefer the female traits. Really, I have to explain this here? WTF ...

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