Community Conversation > Intersex talk

a compliment to you folks

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Michelle F:
I have read a ton on intersex issues and am seeing an edocrinologist right now because of my "differences". I just wanted to say that some of the intersexed web places feature people jumping on each other or making statements that just don't make sense. Anyway, some of the stuff I have read on here is very kind and accepting, some of it is very good and some of it is just plain brilliant, especially from Taylor.

Regardless of what label they ultimately put on me, I understand how so many just buckle under the pain of not quite fitting into male or female and being told lies their whole lives and being told by doctors or others; "you can't feel this way becuase you're a ....not a ...."

If you saw my picture you would understand in 1 second, what I mean by not fitting in.

A lot of people misconcieve that if you are intersexed you can go out in public as "either a man OR a woman" but for me it has been "neither a man nor a woman". It is tough because in my cabeza I feel like a girl, and about half my body is female, and I have monthly cramps that are right on schedule, but if I go out as a female, people will just think I have lost my mind. Too much man in the face + a lifetime of socialization as a male, yet I don't belong there, at least physically.

If I go out in public as a man, I have this female type of mannerisms, breasts to hide and just get percieved as a gay person or a transsexual, or a "what is that" person, lots of stares.

NO DISRESPECT  at all to gay people or transsexual, (believe me if there was an aversion, I wouldn't be here, ) but what I'm talking about is the right to be percieved as what you think you are in your head, which I think people on this site will readily relate to.

Anyway, I was particularily interested in the one post on here where the person has normal male genitalia, but has female insides, periods etc. You may just have one more sister out there who has the woman parts inside and the man parts outside, we should talk. I am having my cramps this weekend. I thought I was getting them and thought "no way it's just something I ate, or my nerves, then I checked the calendar and sure enough 21 days since the last ones. Somethimes they are 28 days sometimes 21 days, sometimes 30, but they are monthly, and yes from the neck down I look like a lady, with muscularish arms, and a "wackadoo". (some differences there, the outline of a vagina on my penis, with what looks like stretch marks or a scar  at the bottom, when I sit, my scrotum sticks out on the sides like a penis is coming out of vaginal lips, anyone ever hear of that, there are some differences between left and right testicles, and yet I get called a "normal man" by doctors and my mom swears to me that nothing was unusual about my birth and that no surgery was done, so I have no idea about the vagina shaped scar)

I would so like to find a girlfriend to talk with, although people I know are sympathetic, I think they are afraid that I will bite them or something. Shame and secrecy huh?

Anyway, hoping for a kind place to make a pleutonic friend here and for someone to be a good friend to.

I started this journey thinking my body would just eventually go male, and now have a wife who I love more than myself and 4 kids, but the intersex complications were just becoming more than a person could reasonably bear. I had to see a Dr. When he first saw me he almost sent me out the door saying "normal male, severe gynecomastia", but after seeing my hormone panels, his whole attitude got kinder and he knows I am not lying about feeling like a female. He wants to look inside my pevis which I will have done soon.

Anyway, here's to all those who don't wuite fit in but are valuable and special anyway.

Luv
M

seldom:
No offense, but if you had kids, you are probably not IS.  Infertility is usually part of the package. 

Also if you were born primarily as male and have lived your life up to this point as such and transition to female, you are transsexual.  Intersex condition or not. 

It is common for people to misinterprate a hormonal condition for an intersex condition, but they are not always one in the same.  Did you get the gynecomastia when you were older...because that is not uncommon for males.  I could go on about incomplete and strange and delayed puberties.  Not to discount you entirely, but you should not jump to conclusions so quickly.

Michelle F:
no offense taken.

daisybelle:
Amy , no offense but Michelle came here looking for someone to speak with to make her feel better.   Until the doctor truly gets to poke around inside... let's assume she is intersexed.

Michelle I hope an IS person connects with you to help you.  I do not have that issue or know enough about it.

Good luck

Daisy

Kim:
Hello Michelle,
   Sorry it took a while before I got around to answering you. I am IS. My MRI shows that I have one testi, one ovary, a uterus, breasts are B cup and I have a prtial opening behind the sack area and a highly sensitive area above it. My story mirrors yours so much. I presently have 3 kids and a fourth on the way. My doctor said it's 2 things that allowed this and I believe him. One is that with one testi that is healthy it was a hit and miss but I was fortunate enough to produce. Yes this is a rare thing in IS' but it is possible. the second reason he gave (though he isn't overly religious) is just by God's granting. People can say what they want to but I always believe God does grant things science tries but can't explain.
   I do understand your dilemma. You are woman with a malish body from shoulders on up being the most obvious to people. Trust me, once I realized I was not really male as I thought and starting living as the woman I am I felt happier and more at peace as has my wife. You will hear myths but you have to decide what to believe. One thing with me is a great hate for labels. I know people look at my situation and say I am IS. That's their entitlement I guess. I am woman and that is it. I feel labels are part of society being against groups. Marriage can work for us depending on the persons involved of course.
  If you wish to talk feel free to drop a line to me and I will respond.
                                                       Kim   :angel:

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