Author Topic: Friends (not the TV series haha)  (Read 1469 times)

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Offline Alanna1990

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Friends (not the TV series haha)
« on: April 14, 2017, 01:50:56 am »
Hi everybody :)

I'm curious about something, what was the reaction of your friends when you told them about yourselves?
I told everybody like a week ago, everybody was supportive, some were surprised but chill anyways.

My closest friend was so hard to tell, because everytime I posted something on facebook, like my pink hair, my name change, my earrings he used to say to me: "what's that bro?, you're scaring me haha",and I usually answered just with a "Nevermind it bro", but when I got my earrings ad uploaded the photo to facebook and he asked the same thing I knew I couldn't delay it anymore, so I told him, "dude, I'm like this, I'm even taking Hormones, it's pretty obvious, is there any problem?", He was like "no bro... ehh sis? how do I call you now? not at all", he was awkward for 2 or 3 days, now He's been asking me to go out to the arcade, to the fair, asks if I'm in the downtown, using any excuse he can think off even though I told him I still like girls, I don't even know anymore, it's weird.

In any case it's been liberating to not have to be hidden from anybody, I'd like to read some of your experiences ??? :)

Offline TransAm

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2017, 02:52:15 am »
Honestly, in my case, no one was surprised. I got a lot of 'yeah, I can definitely see that' reactions.
I did, however, get a slew of messages from dudes I knew in HS (-11- years ago--what the hell?) who thought I was attractive at some point or another asking if it made them gay. Not even in 'hahahah, just kidding' ways, either; they were all very serious about it.

Mildly amusing, but stupid as ****.
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Offline Kylo

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2017, 07:04:10 am »
Nobody was surprised.

My ex, who is also a good friend, said that now I mentioned it, there were always 'signs'. He wouldn't have figured it at the time, but as it was now known, looking back he saw the obvious signs. 

Some friends didn't miss a beat and did not care at all. 

One or two asked me if I was 100% sure, and that I wasn't having some kind of crisis in my life. But they accepted my answer that no, there was nothing new about it for me. One warned me against hormones because in his experience (he is part of the LGBT community himself) he didn't think the results he'd seen were necessarily that great. I'm not sure if he was referring in general to all trans people, trans women or trans men at the time. In any case I was already quite sure I was going to take T, and it hasn't been mentioned since. Quite a few of my friends are ex-military and they were the ones with the least questions or concerns about it. As tends to be the case with military guys I know, they know the difference between actual crises and emergency situations and things that just aren't worth losing your rag over. So to them it's nothing worth caring deeply about. They haven't changed the way they interact, we still joke mercilessly with each other and about everything else and provide a certain kind of straight-up moral support to each other.

Basically it's gone unchallenged by every one of them. The only person who had beef with any of it was my mother, none of my friends have altered the way they act or talk to me in the years since. Which means that I was never really treated as female. My personality didn't much allow for being treated that way, so either they maintain a neutral sort of attitude toward me, or a male to male one. My female friends generally treat me as they do their male friends. They don't for example, tend to tell me in detail how much their boyfriend happens to be annoying them... in the distant past they would often tell me all about their guys, and other things that bothered them. Of course I could understand it to an extent, I could understand both sides... but now I am not the go-to for advice, their girlfriends are.

I told them, about 4-5 years ago now, but I didn't demand they start calling me this or that. They all came around by themselves to referring to me by male designation, which is interesting.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #3 on: April 14, 2017, 07:20:25 am »
The friends I have told so far have all been surprised but supportive.  Mostly they are people I knew in other places I lived, that I still keep in touch with my email, but that I will likely never see again.  I have been very selective about whom I told in person.  I have had some surprisingly enthusiastic responses.  I told my dentist the other day (nice, but by no means a close friend) and she gushed congratulations and gave me a big hug.

If any stuff is going to hit the fan, it will happen next week, when I go public.  I expect some puzzlement, some polite disengagement, and a bit of passive-aggressive hostility.  But hopefully some support too.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS

Offline Fresas con Nata

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #4 on: April 14, 2017, 07:31:05 am »
All of them, mostly female BTW, were awesomely supportive and they immediately switched pronouns without me even having to ask. They accept me to such a point that the other day it was like 5 of us at my place and the conversation went into boobs, and no one of them would hesitate to pull up their tees in order to compare them, mine are like this, mine are like that, and I was like, Err sorry but I can't contribute a lot to this conversation :)

Offline Dani

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2017, 09:35:49 am »
I am post op M2F and I have no problems with other women. Men on the other hand are different. Some are OK with me and others feel threatened for some reason. I just don't push the situation. I let it be as it is.



JeanetteLW

Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2017, 12:20:18 pm »
  Friends (2) - Just told me I'd have to do better to get them to stop loving me.

  Family - not so much  :(

Offline Michelle_P

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2017, 02:23:46 pm »
I don't think any of my friends were shocked, and all were accepting.  One just commented "Yeah, I always thought your voice was high."  Good grief!   No issues there.

Two of my three adult children are accepting, one has issues (not just with me, but with life in general).  My ex-wife wants minimal contact via e-mail or text and never wants to see or hear me.
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Offline Alanna1990

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2017, 02:37:11 pm »
yeah... I think friends are more accepting than family, my ex wife left me without leaving a trace but she still sued me for "moral damage"... whatever that is.

My dad is also not happy about it, but my mom told him that I was gonna change and dress however I wanted and that if He said even one mean thing to me they would get divorced, so he's very quiet about it.


Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #9 on: April 14, 2017, 02:50:28 pm »
My dad is also not happy about it, but my mom told him that I was gonna change and dress however I wanted and that if He said even one mean thing to me they would get divorced, so he's very quiet about it.
Go Mom!!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS

Offline Alanna1990

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #10 on: April 14, 2017, 04:33:59 pm »
Go Mom!!

yes, my mom's pretty cool, but I certainly don't want them to divorce because of me.

Offline Dayta

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Re: Friends (not the TV series haha)
« Reply #11 on: April 14, 2017, 09:00:13 pm »
it will happen next week, when I go public

Holey moley, I'm like one week behind you!  I've told a few of my oldest friends from grade school, but they're all back east, so we really only talk via Facebook almost exclusively.  All of my wife's social friends have known for a long time, as they're all academics and unphased by any of this, but none of my colleagues or former colleagues know anything yet. 

I'll be spilling beans at work on May 1st, and I guess HR will be briefing team members in advance, so I'll have a pretty good idea in about 17 days. 

Erin