Author Topic: Automatic ban for griping about the forum pm notifications, or the monthly goal  (Read 1064 times)

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Offline Susan

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    • Susan's Place Transgender Resources
Any member posting a public message, private message, or sending email to Susan or another staff member complaining about the monthly goal, or the two forum private messages we send out per month, will find their welcome here ended.

That includes messages like:


Can you please explain what the monthly donation goals are for?  I have a website myself and it only costs me $90 a year to maintain.  The constant messages asking for donations is really baffling to me, and I'd like to understand it.  Thank you.

When your web site has saved hundreds or thousands of lives; and/or is doing 300,000 unique visitors per month, and transferring over a terabyte of data per month, for $90 talk to me, but believe me it's not happening.

For the last time...

The monthly goal covers both the direct site expenses, equipment, and the costs of our one full time staff member, me.

I am getting roughly $1,600 per month or $400 per week with over 60-100 hours per week worked for myself. At minimum wage with overtime I should be making a minimum of $290 in regular wages and $217.50 in overtime, a total of over $500.00 per week or $2,000 per month. However with the type of highly skilled work I am doing wages generally run $25-$50 per hour ($2,000-$4,000 per week), not counting additional benefits (Health insurances, retirement, etc) which I don't receive either. The $400 per week is to meet my personal expenses; no more, no less; and I have not had a raise in my portion of the monthly goal since 2013.

An additional $400 per month pays the electricity, heating and air conditioning, Enterprise internet service, and part of the rent (The server equipment has it's own dedicated room)

500$ of the $2,500 monthly goal is in place to try to build an operational buffer, something we haven't had much luck with, so far... Ideally I would like to have 3-6 months of monthly expenses in the bank ($6,000-$12,000) for monthly goal shortfalls, and other emergencies.

This subject has been repeatedly discussed:,145185.0.html

And this will be the last time.

No one is required to donate or subscribe. If you choose to do so, know that it is appreciated; I will also put the money to good use, either directly for the site, to cover my expenses.

With that all being said, eventually it would be nice to be able to get some of the money I have put into Susan's Place over the years (Estimated to be around $200,000 over 17 years in time, labor, lost wages, and cold hard cash up till the time the members began contributing to support the site.) back out, but don't worry I am not asking for it back any time soon...

The reason a ban is warranted is that at the bottom of every newsletter we tell you how to ensure that you no longer receive these notifications, and I am just tired of hearing about it.


Please note, this newsletter was sent to you via forum pm, we do not send it out via email. If you received an email notification about it, that is because you have the option set to receive notifications of new private messages turned on in your profile. You can turn that off at any time. Our newsletter is sent monthly to all registered members of the forums.
Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! You can also view the donor wall of fame.

Offline Laurie

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 Thank you Susan for explaining in detail once again. Personally it is the first time I have seen it. I took the stated operational costs at face value and have not had an issue with it.
  What I have had a problem with in regards to the cost is that there is a problem every month I have been here meeting that cost. With as many people that come here and enjoy the features of the site that should never happen. It boggles my mind. Sure I know there are those that cannot afford to contribute, and there are those that contribute what they can every month. And then there are those that utilize the site that could contribute but don't. It is those in the last group that I would like to see help out.
   I do my share, as does your regular supporter base, but i would like to see more people lend a hand if they are able to do so. Any amount helps and each donation adds up.

  Just my 2 cents,
Hi, I'm Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol

Offline Rowena_Ellenweorc

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I find it interesting that people have issues with the raising of money.  I'm new here, but I know that most large scale websites similar to this one operate around that cost if not more.  If I could, I'd totally donate, but we're barely making ends meet as is at home. But I completely agree with Laurie, more should be donating. 

Anyway, thank you for everything that you do Susan, this really is the greatest resource out there, I love it.  Thanks for providing your time and energy to do this for us so that we may have a place to go to with people who understand what we are going through.  May the future be bright, and hopefully more donations and fewer complaints come in.
Much love,

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!


This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems

Offline Susan

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Just in case anyone was wondering why this site has no ads, when I could make way more money ($5,000-$10,000 a month) by selling ad space. The risk of outing members is to put it simply too high. I can't tell you how many times i have looked for something on one site only to suddenly see ads for that same thing on almost every site I visit... Now imagine that you start to see ads for trans products or services, or as a man start having ads for women's products or services on your formally all masculine wall. So I forgo that revenue stream to protect your privacy.
Help support this website by Donating or Subscribing! You can also view the donor wall of fame.

Offline DawnOday

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I so appreciate what you do and $2000 a month even if it all went to you goes much further than your donations to say, The United Way or Red Cross. I have been a resident on your site for a year now and the lessons I have learned and the outstanding people I have met, people just like me, who have been able to address my concerns is priceless. You will continue to receive my monthly "dues" which I wish could be more, as I firmly believe in the services you provide here. I am 95% healthier than when I started. Because of you, Dana, Devlyn, Mariah, Cindy, VM and all the other dedicated volunteers. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Finding this site is the most important day of my life outside the birth of my children. I no longer harbor any secrets. The weight of the world is finally off my shoulders. Lastly. I am even beginning to step out even if is just revealing myself to my therapist.
Hugs y'all
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17

Offline Dani

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Just in case anyone was wondering why this site has no ads, when I could make way more money ($5,000-$10,000 a month) by selling ad space. The risk of outing members is to put it simply too high. ... So I forgo that revenue stream to protect your privacy.

Thank you Susan for providing us with a Forum that we can trust and is a huge benefit to people like us.

You have my support. I wish I could do more.

Offline Paige

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Hi Susan,

I wish I could do more.  Your site is such a valuable resource.    Unfortunately, I'm guessing that many who visit here have very little money.  For the most part, being transgender will make life hard economically as you Susan have experienced first hand.

I do wish those who do not already donate and have the means, would find it in their heart to donate.

Take care,
Paige :)