Author Topic: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?  (Read 2501 times)

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Offline Marcieelizabeth

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Hi - just wondering if anyone thinks it was particularly helpful in their journey to meet face to face with someone or others who was feeling and going through the same thing? I am sort of afraid to meet anyone too close to home! Is or has that been an issue for anyone?


First memory of cross-dressing - age 8 - 1967
Marcie Since 6-17-17   :D
Out to wife 6-27-17  :D :D
Started HRT 10-13-17  :D :D :D
First time completely me at therapy on 10-31-17 <3
Started Finestrade on 11-1-17 <3
< Estradiol and Spiro to therapeutic levels on 12-4-17


...it makes me smile to know its me, fearful about losing the good things in my life, anxious about every single step, doubting my resolve, determined to stop living a lie,  VERY hopeful for the future as myself, Marcie, and I am thankful to have this safe place

Offline RobynD

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I have met a couple trans folks at a local LGTBiQ night at a drinking establishment. Those friendships have been positive. I think some fear comes from being outed if you are not out yet and that is understandable. 95% of the people i meet are awesome though and i have made many new cis friends that are allies and supportive.



Offline Michelle_P

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I've found this very useful, both through therapy groups and by joining a transgender social support group for meetups, dinner events, and such within the local trans community.
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Offline Rachel_Christina

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I have only met a trans girl once, Jessica, since she visited Switzerland. It was an amazing experience, and really boosted my confidence.
I would love to have meetup again or one on the regular, even the group thingys people do.
Socialising can only be good tbh



Offline Devlyn Marie

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I've met a bunch of Susan's girls, and I go to the local transgender dances. There's a good mix there, transsexuals, crossdressers, genderfloaters like me, FTMs, admirers, spouses. I think it's great to mingle with all the diverse peoples.

Hugs, Devlyn
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Offline Marcieelizabeth

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wow, I think I need to find someone or a group to meet up with - all is so new and scary right now- I feel like a school girl and that is a good thing, I think.  I am so afraid to come out to my wife and family, but I this is me so meeting like gendered people would be amazing!


First memory of cross-dressing - age 8 - 1967
Marcie Since 6-17-17   :D
Out to wife 6-27-17  :D :D
Started HRT 10-13-17  :D :D :D
First time completely me at therapy on 10-31-17 <3
Started Finestrade on 11-1-17 <3
< Estradiol and Spiro to therapeutic levels on 12-4-17


...it makes me smile to know its me, fearful about losing the good things in my life, anxious about every single step, doubting my resolve, determined to stop living a lie,  VERY hopeful for the future as myself, Marcie, and I am thankful to have this safe place

Offline JB_Girl

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Well it has certainly helped me.  I have attended conferences and kept in touch, traveled across this country to meet some people I met here, attended local support groups and texted and talked endlessly.  I still do and this is why.

I knew nobody and understood very little when dysphoria ended my life as a going concern.  I was scared, I didn't know where to turn, and I thought that my life was going to end alone, lost, and endlessly sad.  The connections that I began to make with people gave me hope, but for me it is absolutely essential to hold the hands of my new friends, look into their eyes and tell them that I cherished their experience, believed in them, and looked to them for wisdom.

Somehow this network became a life foundation and I could see that even love was a possibility for one even such as I.  Seeing your trouble helped me to become active and to speak out in both private and public venues.  I was asked to speak before students at a local college.  I found that as I studied and found my own voice that I became a useful resource.  I became willing to go to where ever I could make a difference and to experience your joy as we together became whole.

All this happens with personal contact.  I don't much care if you pass as the gender that you identify with.  I don't much care how long you've been in transition.  I want to know your story and I want to hear it from you lips and feel it in your embrace.  I came here feeling lonely, different and afraid.  Six years later I feel empowered and confident.  We need each other and we need to be in each others lives in tangible ways.  That is the fear killer.  That is the foundation of an authentic life.

Peace,
JB

Offline DawnOday

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Before starting HRT I met Chris Deee. I have to admit I was kind of an ass, because I really didn't know what to ask her. I also selected a coffee shop that made her uncomfortable. So we went someplace else. Before I met her I did not think I would be able to start HRT because of all my heart problems. So I was just finding out that I could. I mean, I've dreamed of this for most my life. I have since been going to Ingersol Gender Center and have met many interesting people. I honestly thought I was going to find drag queens but I was pleasantly surprised that was not the case. We have a mixed group that is between 35 and 50 attendees to the weekly meetings that have taken place every Wednesday for the last 44 years. I am used to dealing with male egos all my work life. But again I've never met people so open and honest. One of the most consistent remarks in Susan's introductions. It all started when I was 5 or 6. It was no different for me. I have to say although I didn't ask many questions just the fact Chris showed up and was so open is one of my transition highlights.
Dawn Oday

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Online HappyMoni

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There are many different levels that trans folk can be. I am not trying to be snobby saying this, but when I went to a support group, folks seemed to be at a very different place than I was. If you are starting out it might be a good place. I prefer to talk to someone more long term, establish a real relationship rather than going once a month or so to talk to strangers. I have established genuine friendships from being on Susan's. We commiserate, vent, chat, and care about each other as happens in a friendship. I have physically met only one  friend from Susan's, in fact I will see her tomorrow. We are at a very similar place and it is wonderful to talk with someone who knows what it is like. I also have a trans friend who I talk to regularly. I met her through my therapist office. I very much hope to meet more friends face to face who I have met here. If you put yourself forward a little on here, you will find people you can relate to.
Moni
Yeah Laurie, you gonna visit me during my recovery? I know you will see this.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
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Offline arice

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It has been amazing for me to meet other trans folk and chat. I think both group settings and one on one have their perks. Groups are good for meeting a variety of people and being exposed to diverse paths and stories. One on one chats with people you like are great for getting to know people beyond their gender story.
I liked the opportunity to meet quite a few trans people at group, discuss issues facing our community and then visit with other trans guys. It is liberating to meet people who understand where I'm coming from. I definitely see it becoming a regular part of my life.
Even better than group though are the one to one visits I have with a lady my therapist introduced me to. She is a lot older than me and transitioned 20 years ago going the opposite direction so our transition journeys are different. On the other hand, we have a lot in common and it is great to talk about other things as well as trans issues.



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Online Laurie

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2017, 10:39:03 pm »
 Hi Marcie,

  I am going on a road trip across the country From Oregon to Maine. I let it be known here in the forums and have had  many of the friends I've made here express a desire to meet if it is possible. As a result I have 5 additional stops to be making if I can. I am looking forward to meeting with them all if it is at all possible and I am pleased to discover so many want to meet me. These are all people I already consider friends who have already helped me in this journey and meeting them in the flesh can only add to the friendship.

 Hugs,
   Laurie
Hi, I'm Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline chris.deee

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2017, 10:50:03 pm »
Before starting HRT I met Chris Deee. I have to admit I was kind of an ass, because I really didn't know what to ask her. I also selected a coffee shop that made her uncomfortable. So we went someplace else. Before I met her I did not think I would be able to start HRT because of all my heart problems. So I was just finding out that I could. I mean, I've dreamed of this for most my life. I have since been going to Ingersol Gender Center and have met many interesting people. I honestly thought I was going to find drag queens but I was pleasantly surprised that was not the case. We have a mixed group that is between 35 and 50 attendees to the weekly meetings that have taken place every Wednesday for the last 44 years. I am used to dealing with male egos all my work life. But again I've never met people so open and honest. One of the most consistent remarks in Susan's introductions. It all started when I was 5 or 6. It was no different for me. I have to say although I didn't ask many questions just the fact Chris showed up and was so open is one of my transition highlights.

Hey Dawn, it was my pleasure. If I recall correctly, the coffee shop was hot and crowded - totally not your fault. 

When I first came out to my wife ages ago, we both went to the local support group.  I found it sort of useful - my wife, not so much. 

I do find having people to talk to (trans or cis) is a big deal.


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Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2017, 11:03:59 pm »
It is certainly nice to see that so many have had positive experiences in meeting with other trans people. My experiences (25 years ago) were not so pleasant. I found those I met be be quite catty and vicious. One even physically attacked me while I was in a wheelchair.

I would advise you use an abundance of caution. Keep your senses and wits sharp. Not everybody wants to be your friend. But, who knows? You just might get lucky, like those whom posted before I did.
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Offline Wanda Jane

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #13 on: June 02, 2017, 11:10:13 pm »
I go to every meeting of my local, SAGA San Antonio, trans support group. It has been immensely helpful. From knowing I'm not alone, help finding a Dr, talking about stuff no one else can understand to pertinent discussion topics and special guests. I know I would not be as far along as I am. I also am in AA and go to the Lambda group once a week and that helps a lot too. I know for me it is being able to talk to others like me. I can't imagine trying to do this alone.

Online Laurie

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #14 on: June 02, 2017, 11:18:49 pm »

Yeah Laurie, you gonna visit me during my recovery? I know you will see this.

 Hi Moni, (too full of a lunch meat),

  I posted on this before I read your post. I will only commit to you being included in the "meeting with them if it is at all possible" list.  As for when, if I can fit you in at all mind you, well that is the unknown part isn't it? I will have to check my calendar.

  Hugs,
   Laurie
Hi, I'm Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Maybebaby56

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2017, 04:21:51 pm »
I have established genuine friendships from being on Susan's. We commiserate, vent, chat, and care about each other as happens in a friendship. I have physically met only one  friend from Susan's, in fact I will see her tomorrow. We are at a very similar place and it is wonderful to talk with someone who knows what it is like.

And here we are!



We had a wonderful time.  What a beautiful spirit you have, Moni.  You are as compassionate, intuitive, and thoughtful in person as you are on this forum. I thoroughly enjoy your company.

If you put yourself forward a little on here, you will find people you can relate to.

Yup!

Yeah Laurie, you gonna visit me during my recovery? I know you will see this.
Moni

Ball is in your court, Laurie!

With kindness,

Terri
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives" - Annie Dillard

Offline davina61

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2017, 04:36:27 pm »
I just wish I could find a group local to me (UK) but in a void where I live and being of an age where I don't want to go to strip clubs/ gay bars on my own (listed as local meets)  . I do know there are a few trans folk around but don't know where, Dr told me they have a trans patient beside me.
a long time coming (out)


Online Laurie

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #17 on: June 03, 2017, 05:20:22 pm »

Ball is in your court, Laurie!

With kindness,

Terri

 Oh My Terri,

   Didn't I answer that already? Well as much as I could.. Keep in mind Soni, err I mean noni, no that's not it. close but not quite riight. hmm let's see it was in a song... oh that's right, keep in mind Mony Mony doesn't even know where she's going to be let alone when. At least she hasn't told me. Oh I know she might be in Philly and then she might be in some podunk village in Maryland.  How's a person supposed to make plans (if they were inclined to make plans) with such vague information as that?

  So you met the twerp did you Terri? I'm surprised you were able to pin her down for it to happen. She does seem to be bouncing off the walls lately.  Are you in the area also? You and I haven't crossed paths in the forum that much but it might be nice to drop by a say hi if I happen to be in your neck of the woods.

 Hugs,
   Laurie

 
« Last Edit: June 03, 2017, 08:51:00 pm by Laurie »
Hi, I'm Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Maybebaby56

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2017, 05:30:53 pm »
Oh My Terri,

I'm surprised you were able to pin her down for it to happen. She does seem to be bouncing off the walls lately.  Are you in the area also? You and I haven't crossed paths in the forum that much but it might be nice to drop by a say hi if I happen to be in your neck of the woods.

 Hugs,
   Laurie

Hi Laurie,

I live in Alexandria, VA.  I would be pleased to meet with you if you are ever in the area.

Yes, Moni is going through some pre-surgery stress - we both are - and it was good for both of us to be able to talk and share our thoughts and concerns. She is a sweetheart, and I feel blessed to know her. 

~Terri
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives" - Annie Dillard

Online HappyMoni

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Re: Does it help to meet face to face others going through this struggle?
« Reply #19 on: June 03, 2017, 05:48:53 pm »
Oh My Terri,

   Didn't I answer that already? Well as much as I could.. Keep in mind Soni, err I mean noni, no that's not it. close but not quite riight. hmm let's see it was in a song... oh that's right, keep in mind Mony Mony doesn't even know where she's going to be let alone when. St least she hasn't told me. Oh I know she might be in Philly and then she might be in some podunk village in Maryland.  How's a person supposed to make plans (if they were inclined to make plans) with such vague information as that?

  So you met the twerp did you Terri? I'm surprised you were able to pin her down for it to happen. She does seem to be bouncing off the walls lately.  Are you in the area also? You and I haven't crossed paths in the forum that much but it might be nice to drop by a say hi if I happen to be in your neck of the woods.

 Hugs,
   Laurie

 

As you can see from the above post, Marcie, it can be dangerous to talk to trans people on line especially when they have name recognition issues. For the last time, it is Moni as in Connie, Bonnie, Ronny. Not Moany you silly, truck traveling, non makeover, crazy person. Why can't you be more like Terri, Laurie. I should send you to Terri's charm school. Of course she is crazy enough to think I am nice. What she doesn't know is I try to be nice to cover up being butt ugly.

Now so I am not hijacking this thread there is a lesson here. This is the kind of conversation we have. Believe it or not, it builds trust. If you can bust on someone and joke with them, you can also turn around and have a heart to heart with these same folks (not Laurie). This is why I like on line over a support group for me. Just sayin!
Mon  neee
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
I'm happy, tag you're it! Pass it on.
HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) 
FFS in late June 2016. (Ugh!)                  Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally)
GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!)
Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17   Nose surgery-November 20, 2017
   


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