Author Topic: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.  (Read 1168 times)

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Online Julia1996

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I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« on: August 27, 2017, 01:45:03 pm »
Hi everyone.  I want your opinions about my weight. I'm 5'4 and weigh 104 pounds. Personally I think that's a good weight. The problem is my dad thinks I'm too thin. It's becoming a bit of a issue with him. I'm not a vegetarian but I eat a lot of salad and vegetarian dishes because they are low calorie. I usually make 2 dinners. A low calorie one for me and a regular one for my dad and brother. Recently my dad has started getting annoyed with me over it. He always wants to know what I'm eating and his usual comment is "that's all?". He's worried I have like a eating disorder or something. I've told him I totally don't but he still worries about it. He worries about the silliest stuff sometimes!  Once I was eating some dried seaweed chips while I was watching tv. My dad asked me what they were and when I told him he said enough was enough and threw them in the trash. And a couple of nights a week he's started making me a plate of whatever I've made for them and makes me eat it in front of him. I told him he was being silly. He said since I wouldn't eat anything substantial on my own he would have to make sure I did at least once in a while. I know I could just refuse to eat it but if I did that I'm afraid he would really think I had a eating disorder.  Plus it's just easier to eat it because my dad doesn't react well to me telling him no when he tells me to do something.  So, he said to get some opinions from other women and see what they say.

 I think I look good this weight. Other women compliment me on my weight. My weight is like the only thing my mom ever does compliment me about. My brother has always thought I was too thin and is on my dad's side. (Big surprise there) My boyfriend is useless with this because all he will say is that I look "fine".  So what do you think? Is 104 lbs a really good weight or is it too thin?
Julia
Julia


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Offline Deborah

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2017, 01:50:11 pm »
The healthy weight for that height is 110 to 145 lbs.  The average American woman of this height is 140 lbs.

I agree with your father.  You need to eat more and engage in a good fitness program.


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Offline Tessa James

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2017, 01:55:17 pm »
Goodness Julia, your weight for your height is just fine.  Excessive attention to our body image is part of what can lead to eating disorders.  You have posted about your Dad's controlling ways and I again hope that he would gain more respect for a very bright and thoughtful woman, his daughter Julia.

Our opinions will likely include statements about wishing we were as thin and trim as you but i suggest it is your personal opinion about your body that matters most. :D  It is ok to be fat or thin in my book.
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Offline Dena

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #3 on: August 27, 2017, 03:25:34 pm »
I would like to see you in the 120-130 pound range as that will also help you put some weight on in feminine places. The problem with being in the bottom end of your weight range is there's no fat to shape your body. You are young and can burn off excessive calories so up your intake a little.
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Offline JulieOnHerWay

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #4 on: August 27, 2017, 03:49:16 pm »
And another girlfriend pipes up to agree with Dena and Deborah.
While i do not like your father's approach, he is right.  That 120 lb range would be a healthier weight for you.  I think you will have generally more robust health, fight off the occasional disease better and best of all the added BMI will fall to traditional women's fat deposit areas so you look even hotter.  If you were to workout, even walking, it will be just that much better.
As I think about it, I have all the weight you need.  So if you want some of mine it is free for the taking.   :laugh: :laugh:

Offline echo7

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #5 on: August 27, 2017, 03:54:43 pm »
104 lbs is typically an unhealthy weight for your height.  Even if you gained just 5 lbs, you'd be in the normal BMI range.

I also have a low BMI (less than 20), but I'm not underweight.  Try to gain just a few more pounds, for your overall health.  You'll still look great and very slim.

Offline Anne Blake

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #6 on: August 27, 2017, 04:20:51 pm »
I believe that I will need to side with your dad and several of the other posters on this one. Your BMI is just about 18 and considered less than healthy. Adding just a few more pounds will help you in all the ways already posted and at your age, should be easy to maintain.

My bigger fear is in another area. I have met several young women that all said they were in control of their health and weight, and truly believed it. They each had to deal with anorexia a couple took serious hospital time and therapy and are still struggling, still believing to be in control.....and one of them couldn't listen and died, all the while believing herself to be healthy and safe. It could be that you, like many of the rest of us are a bit blind to what may be best for us.

Your dad loves you dearly, he has proven it by his actions. Please give adding some extra pounds a chance. In fact see if dad will spring for some new outfits to fit a healthier you.

Offline Elis

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #7 on: August 27, 2017, 04:24:47 pm »
BMI is meaningless to gage your health. You can have a high or low BMI and be healthy. It's not an accurate way of determining your health at all.

As long as you're making sure you're getting the right nutrition no need to worry. Some women are just naturally skinny and annoyingly many people assume they must have an eating disorder. Same if someone is naturally chubby.
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Offline FTMax

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2017, 08:29:59 pm »
What does your doctor say about your weight? If they're not harping on you about it one way or another, chances are you're doing just fine.
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Offline echo7

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2017, 12:16:07 am »
BMI is meaningless to gage your health. You can have a high or low BMI and be healthy. It's not an accurate way of determining your health at all.

It's not perfect and it isn't the end-all diagnostic for determining the health of an individual, but denouncing BMI as "meaningless" is going a little too far.  The fact is that it's a commonly accepted gauge of a person's overall health, and many surgeons performing reassignment surgery on trans patients have BMI restrictions.  So it matters.  A lot.  Regardless of your opinion on it.

Offline amandam

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #10 on: August 28, 2017, 12:43:24 am »
Sounds like you don't weigh enough. You'll have better curves anyway.

Offline Elis

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #11 on: August 28, 2017, 01:21:37 am »
It's not perfect and it isn't the end-all diagnostic for determining the health of an individual, but denouncing BMI as "meaningless" is going a little too far.  The fact is that it's a commonly accepted gauge of a person's overall health, and many surgeons performing reassignment surgery on trans patients have BMI restrictions.  So it matters.  A lot.  Regardless of your opinion on it.

The problem with BMI is it doesn't tell you what's going on inside your body; unlike an MRI scan or a BIA. It doesn't tell you how much fat is inside your body which could be causing damage to your organs or how bad your cholesterol is for example. BMI was invented in the 19th century but science has moved on since then and we now have more of a complete understanding of indicators of bad health and more accurate ways of detecting them.
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Offline Deborah

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #12 on: August 28, 2017, 03:26:46 am »
At 104 lbs, excess fat is unlikely to be a problem.  Lack of fat and protein in the diet as described is probably an issue as is lack of any muscle mass.


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Offline zirconia

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #13 on: August 28, 2017, 10:25:31 am »
Hi, Julia

This is just my opinion...

If you feel 104 lb is too much and that you should go lower then you maybe should think of gaining a little weight. However, if your weight is stable, you like where you are and you feel energetic I wouldn't worry a bit. At least where I live many girls are very slender and no worse for it.

Offline elkie-t

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2017, 10:55:26 am »
Women are supposed to have some curves and that's impossible if you don't have some fat in the right spots. What is your body fat measurement? Healthy & fit one for women is around 20-25% (as opposed to male index of 8-12%)


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Offline Deb Roz

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #15 on: August 28, 2017, 03:56:57 pm »
I think you're getting a lot of good feedback here.  On the one hand, you can definitely put on more weight, and by some reasonable measurements, maybe you even should eat a few more calories.  On the other hand, your body is your own, and I wouldn't want to pressure you to do one thing or the other.

But what I want to know is: has your Dad ever tried seaweed snacks?  They're delicious!  I can't believe he threw them away!  ;) ;) 

All kidding aside, from what I've read of your posts, you Dad seems very loving and supportive, so I think this mostly comes from a good place.  You mentioned that your Mom compliments you on your weight, but from what I've read about her  (from your posts), she is not generally very supportive.  So I take that with a grain of salt. 

Gosh Julia, I hope I didn't overreach.  Just let me know if you don't want me throwing around opinions about your family and I will zip the lip ;) 
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Offline Kylo

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2018, 02:22:28 pm »
You weigh about the same as my last boyfriend when I met him, he's a couple of inches taller than you that's all.

Other people would make comments about his weight all the time. Since I knew his body better than them, and his ribs weren't sticking out, he seemed perfectly healthy to me. The only issues he ever had was occasional low blood pressure (which I'm not sure is related) and he gets cold easily. Only gained 14lb ish in 10 years and people still insist he's "too skinny". I think they're projecting tbh, as if making him eat is gonna make him taller or stronger at this point. He eats like a goddamned horse anyway, so telling someone naturally skinny to just "eat more" sometimes has no effect.

He's never been sick or had any issues at that weight. I'm bigger than him and have more muscle mass etc. but I know he's not me and I wouldn't tell him to get to my weight or build or whatever. People tend to do that, if they eat a lot, they expect everyone else should too, or think their routine should apply to everyone. People are different and they have their own ideal conditions.

As long as you're healthy, your bones aren't sticking out and you're not too weak to do what you need to do, what's the problem? As long as you're not anorexic... you don't want the issues with breaking hair and other stuff from mal nourishment with that.
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Online Julia1996

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2018, 02:59:03 pm »
Since I posted that I've gained 8 pounds making me 112 lbs now. That seems to have satisfied my dad and brother since they no longer make an issue of it. You're absolutely right about people who eat a lot not understanding why other people don't.  My boyfriend, dad and brother all eat whatever they want and all 3 of them never gain weight and all three of them have a six pack stomach. What they don't understand is 1, they have testosterone flooding their bodies while I am on large doses of estrogen which makes it very easy to gain weight. And 2, all 3 of them spend a ridiculous amount of time at the gym lifting weights and doing really intense workouts and I don't. No doubt they burn off all the high calorie foods they eat. Since everyone is different people shouldn't assume how they eat is appropriate for others.  I couldn't even eat all the stuff all 3 guys eat but if I did I would be 600 lbs. People always seem to want to make really thin people and fat people their business when they need to mind their own.
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Offline amandam

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #18 on: February 20, 2018, 01:55:07 pm »
Do you think your body looks good at 112?

Online Julia1996

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Re: I would like to hear peoples opinions on this.
« Reply #19 on: February 20, 2018, 01:58:23 pm »
Do you think your body looks good at 112?
Actually I do. It filled out my hips and rear a little more.
Julia


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Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018

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