Author Topic: Coming out on stage  (Read 808 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Kendra

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,222
  • Reputation: +112/-0
  • Gender: Female
Coming out on stage
« on: September 13, 2017, 04:51:55 pm »
I have a background in classical music, violin since age six.  In the year 2000 a rock band formed when I lived in Roslyn, Washington State.  If you remember the 1990s television show Northern Exposure the Brick Tavern is there.  "The Runner Stumbles" was also filmed in Roslyn.  It is a lot of fun - I run an electric violin through an obnoxious guitar amp and create whatever I feel like.  The band has been the same people 17 years, plus a few others who joined occasionally - we are great friends. 

I dressed female on stage twice but that didn't count, it was Halloween.  First time was a red dress, nice boots and back then I had to wear a wig. The first time I did that the keyboardist I'd known for a decade told me they were waiting for the violinist before they could start.  He had no idea who I was. 

We have a band gig this weekend.  It isn't a holiday and I am going to show up as my true self - as Kendra.  I haven't told anyone in the band.  I am not on that thing called Facebook.  Roslyn has less than 1,000 people, everyone talks and I have a weekend home there.  It's possible a few people in town might freak out but I don't care.  I am looking forward to the combination of being myself and playing music any way I want - loudly.  At that point there will be no turning back for me, at least not in that town.

If you look on the map Roslyn WA is located where you might assume problems with prejudice but I have found that isn't the case at all.  The town elected the state's first African-American mayor in 1974. 

And an unexpected result from starting HRT.  My sensory perception changed in so many ways, and another change is I now have this urge to get back into classical music on stage.  I don't plan on leaving the band but I am thinking about spending time with my acoustic violin - it's mostly sat parked since I was sixteen.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, blepharoplasty 2016, HRT July 2017. 

Online Steph2.0

  • Entropy isn't what it used to be.
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 486
  • Reputation: +6/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Anachronisms are so yesterday...
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2017, 04:58:03 pm »
Go Kendra! I wish I could be there to give a standing ovation!

How about a YouTube video?

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Started name change 10/25/17 * RLE... Happening now?

Offline Bari Jo

  • *
  • Posts: 806
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • fear, shame, you won't own me forever!
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2017, 05:05:19 pm »
Kendra, seeing this post makes think we are sisters.  I have been playing violin since I was 6.  Unlike you though I was never good.  That didn't stop me from going to strings camp, even as an adult though.

In answer to your question, dress as your true self.  Believe me, people that like music like that it's music.  They won't be questioning your gender, even if they knew you from before.

BTW, I play a Jordan custom 5 string electric, and a gliga Gama. My aunty is a boss, that I have on my belt, and and is a GenzBenz.  What's in your arsenal?

Bari Jo
My Avatar is from faceapp.  I believe this can be achieved based on my starting point, and it's pretty.  It's a guide for the girl I feel I am inside.  New on 11/3, if you notice a difference, let me know if this one is better.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Online Kendra

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,222
  • Reputation: +112/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2017, 05:15:07 pm »
I think videos sometimes get posted to the band's Facebook page but I don't have an account.  I dont like Youtube videos because the sound quality from a phone recording is always horrible.  I'll try to get a decent photo of the band this weekend and will post it here.  I'll check with everyone in the band first, I'm almost certain everyone is fine with sharing info here. 

The band's name is Free Beer.  Or the complete name Free Beer at Exit 80.  Yeah I quit drinking years ago but that was after the band formed.

I bought a Yamaha electric violin in 2000, upgraded to a newer Yamaha and hated that, went back to the original through a Fender Twin Reverb and have always run wireless for less distraction on stage.  More recently bought a transparent 5-string and also a 4-string from Ted Brewer in London, frankly sounds same to me as the basic Yamaha but I love the looks.  My main bow is a carbon fiber CodaBow Joule, more sensible than using a fragile acoustic bow in a bar.  This weekend I'm trying out the new amp and effects setup I just bought, Line 6 V-412 and V-240.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, blepharoplasty 2016, HRT July 2017. 

Online Laurie

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4,668
  • Reputation: +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2017, 06:16:27 pm »
 Hi Kendra,

  I think it's a great idea. That part of "At that point there will be no turning back for me, at least not in that town.
" can be a bit of a stumbling block but not insurmountable. I also think it will be one of those "Big steps" for you too. You're already a wonderful woman so why not live it? Just one more step down that road on your journey to who you are.
  Free Beer at Exit 80 huh? I think I have a CD by them... Go for it girl.

 Hugs,
  Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Bari Jo

  • *
  • Posts: 806
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • fear, shame, you won't own me forever!
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2017, 06:43:57 pm »
Kendra, if you have the option to try, try a string amp pickup system.  When I win the lottery, I will buy a new electric with one of these.  They sound just like an acoustic.  Plus the technology is damn cool.  Anywat, sorry to hijack your thread, just so happy another girl is a violinist!

Bari Jo
My Avatar is from faceapp.  I believe this can be achieved based on my starting point, and it's pretty.  It's a guide for the girl I feel I am inside.  New on 11/3, if you notice a difference, let me know if this one is better.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Online Kendra

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,222
  • Reputation: +112/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2017, 08:18:37 pm »
String amp pickup - I'll look into that, thanks for the tip.  And I bet you are being modest and are gooood. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, blepharoplasty 2016, HRT July 2017. 

Online HappyMoni

  • *
  • Posts: 1,757
  • Reputation: +25/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Smiles for the house, it's on me!
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2017, 08:31:44 pm »
I know how to turn on a radio and I did have an 8 track player once. Oh and there is too much violins on TV. Well, on that note...
Moni
Sorry, I wanted to participate.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) 
FFS in late June 2016. (Ugh!)                  Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally)
GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!)
Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17   Nasal surgery-Thankgiving 2017
   


Online Devlyn Marie

  • Links Admin
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 25,311
  • Reputation: +318/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Crossdresser
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2017, 08:34:47 pm »
This could be a good comma lesson, too.

Coming out on stage.

Coming out, on stage.

Coming, out on stage.

<running away>  >:-)
Veteran, US Army         devlynmarie@susans.org



Offline KathyLauren

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,116
  • Reputation: +33/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Casting off dull certainty
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2017, 08:36:09 pm »
Go for it, Kendra!  I'm not sure if I'd have the cojones to come out to my bandmates at a gig, but I am sure you wouldn't be doing it if you weren't sure they'd by cool.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline DawnOday

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,652
  • Reputation: +20/-1
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2017, 08:42:11 pm »
This could be a good comma lesson, too.

Coming out on stage.

Coming out, on stage.

Coming, out on stage.

<running away>  >:-)
Comma's are your friends. I, use them, even if, I don't have to.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17




Online Laurie

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4,668
  • Reputation: +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2017, 08:42:29 pm »
Sheesh  ::) ::) ::)

 All these jokesters running around loose. I jest don't know. Can't you all tell this is serious?

 Besides, I want to hear her play Devil went down in Georgia.



Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Online Laurie

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 4,668
  • Reputation: +19/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2017, 08:45:39 pm »
This could be a good comma lesson, too.

Coming out on stage.

Coming out, on stage.

Coming, out on stage.

<running away>  >:-)

Comma, comma, chameleons?

Hugs, ;D ;D ;D
  Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline DawnOday

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,652
  • Reputation: +20/-1
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2017, 08:46:40 pm »
I have three favorites. Jon luc Ponte and David LaFlamme from "It's a beautiful day" and Máiréad Nesbitt from Riverdance and Celtic Women. She is like a sprite on the stage.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17




Online Steph2.0

  • Entropy isn't what it used to be.
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 486
  • Reputation: +6/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Anachronisms are so yesterday...
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2017, 08:52:16 pm »
Reminds me of the book about pandas entitled, "Eat, Shoots, and Leaves". (True story.)

As if honey badgers aren't bad enough, now we have to deal with armed pandas...

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Started name change 10/25/17 * RLE... Happening now?

Online Kendra

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,222
  • Reputation: +112/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2017, 09:51:20 pm »
The Devlyn went down to Georgia
She was lookin for a soul to steal
When she came across this fiddle player
And was willing to make a deal
So the Devlyn jumped up on a hickory stump
And said girl now don't you squeal
Now if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you
My punctuation ain't got no regrets and I know how to use commas too
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, blepharoplasty 2016, HRT July 2017. 

Offline Bari Jo

  • *
  • Posts: 806
  • Reputation: +4/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • fear, shame, you won't own me forever!
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2017, 12:18:26 am »
String amp pickup - I'll look into that, thanks for the tip.  And I bet you are being modest and are gooood.

Ha, no, I really am terrible.  I never learned vibrato, can barely read music too.  It doesn't stop me from loving the instrument though.  My favorite violinists are Midori and Vanessa Mae and Bond, in that order.  I'm glad I saw Bond before they broke up.

Bari Jo
My Avatar is from faceapp.  I believe this can be achieved based on my starting point, and it's pretty.  It's a guide for the girl I feel I am inside.  New on 11/3, if you notice a difference, let me know if this one is better.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Offline ElizabethK

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,846
  • Reputation: +22/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Trying out a few looks
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2017, 03:40:11 am »
The Devlyn went down to Georgia
She was lookin for a soul to steal
When she came across this fiddle player
And was willing to make a deal
So the Devlyn jumped up on a hickory stump
And said girl now don't you squeal
Now if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you
My punctuation ain't got no regrets and I know how to use commas too

I'm calling unfair advantage in the pun stakes....Kendra you are a professional at this  ;D Good luck for you gig I hope you slay them
"You have the right to live an authentic life!"Alex Jolly

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016
Fulltime from 8 March 2017
GCS Scheduled November 28 2018

Online Steph2.0

  • Entropy isn't what it used to be.
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 486
  • Reputation: +6/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Anachronisms are so yesterday...
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #18 on: September 17, 2017, 03:03:12 pm »
We have a band gig this weekend.  It isn't a holiday and I am going to show up as my true self - as Kendra.

So how did it go? We're all waiting breathlessly to hear!

I'll bet you knocked 'em dead!

Steph


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Started name change 10/25/17 * RLE... Happening now?

Online Kendra

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,222
  • Reputation: +112/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Coming out on stage
« Reply #19 on: September 17, 2017, 10:50:29 pm »
Frankly this couldn't have gone any better. 

When I showed up at band practice, almost no surprise at all (darn - sometimes I enjoy messing with people).  Nothing but support, I told everyone I started estrogen a couple months ago and haven't had to shave in almost two years, kept it all pretty casual and we focused on practice before the gig.  Band members were already offering to carry my heavy tube amp back into the trailer and I did mention yeah some things might get more difficult to lift in a few months.  And we joked around. 

At the Brick Tavern getting ready and on stage I was expecting a mixture of skeptics along with supportive people.  Instead, the entire time I was in this small town for the weekend - people I've known 15-20 years, and tourists, I saw nothing but 100% acceptance.  Not a single odd look or rude remark.  Same with breakfast in town the following morning with my boyfriend and girlfriend.  (I introduced them both to the band, and to several I've known in town - that all went well.)

During the set breaks and after, guys I already knew were supportive and those I didn't know didn't seem to notice or care.  What is unexpected is so many women were ecstatic to see me openly transgender - I had so many individually tell me they have never seen me happier and they think this is just great.  I know this isn't how things usually go but this is what happened.

One of our tunes is Devil Went Down to Georgia (yeah, the other Devil).  I play it a bit faster than the original recording, always an audience favorite.  Right before launching into that our keyboardist got on the microphone and said... well we used to have a great fiddle player, Ken, but he's gone.  Now we have Kendra and she's even better.   A bunch of people cheered out in the audience - a lot.  I couldn't believe it.

There are some things you cannot catch in a photo.  Burned into my memory is the way I felt looking across the violin fingerboard as I was playing, a pretty crowded room full of people dancing and having a great time, playing music any damn way I feel like.  I feel so free.



Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, blepharoplasty 2016, HRT July 2017. 

Tags: