Author Topic: WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL SPECIAL/SECURE DURING ALL YOUR GENDER STRUGGLES?  (Read 930 times)

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Offline Vanny

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I WAS THINKING THE OTHER DAY, HOW HAPPY I WAS MOVING FORWARD.  I AM EXCITED, GOAL ORIENTED AND HAVE A POSITIVE MINDSET TO REACH ALL MY GOALS/OBJECTIVES.   

THE ONE PART OF ALL THE MY EFFORTS, COUNSELING, THERAPY, LIFE THAT GIVES ME COMFORT IS MY FORM.  BREASTS TO BE EXACT.  I SHOULD HAVE HAD THEM SINCE PUBERTY & HAVE FELT A HUGE VOID WITHOUT THEM.  AFTER 4 YEARS OF WORK, NO HORMONES, HEALTHY DIET AND GOD KNOWS HOW MANY HOURS, I HAVE WHAT I SHOULD HAVE HAD ALL ALONG. 

WHAT VALIDATES/GIVES YOU PEACE DURING ALL THE STRUGGLES?


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Offline Nina

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My super supportive hubby, who encourages me.
2007/8 - name change, tracheal shave, electrolysis, therapy
2008 - full time
2014 - GCS Dr. Brassard; remarried

Offline JoanneB

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I don't think I can fairly call it the "One" thing since it is composed of a constellation of live experiences that eventually led to me "Taking on the Trans-Beast, For Real"

I spent decades learning what doesn't work, never being at peace with myself. Today I am at peace in more ways I could have imagined 8 years ago.
.          (Pile Driver)  
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(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)

Online Tommie_9

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Well, I know this is kinda shallow, but being called ma'am when I'm out I guess makes me feel "special." I have an accepting spouse, but I honestly can't think of anything that makes me feel secure. My spirituality sustains me, but I can't say it makes me feel secure. Maybe I can work on this with my GT.
Finding 'self' is the first step toward becoming 'self'. Every step is part of a journey. May your journey lead to happiness. Peace!

Online Dena

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Nothing. It was a matter of many skirmishes attempting to stay ahead of constant depression. It was only the decision to remain alive until I tried everything I could that kept me going and the battle didn't end when I had surgery. I had two additional job losses and over two and a half years of unemployment to deal with before I had a real life. Yes, after surgery I was no longer dealing with dysphoria and for the most part the depression was gone but life was in turmoil for about 4 years after surgery.
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Offline KathyLauren

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Going into a store or a restaurant with my wife and being greeted with "Hi, ladies!" or any similar validation.

A specific example, just for fun...

My very first time in town as myself after going full-time, I went into a jeweller's shop to pick up a pendant that I had dropped off for some work.  I had brought it in as my old male self.  Now I was picking it up as me.  I gave her the claim check and she went in the back and got it.  Then she came out and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, <dead name> has to come in and sign for it himself."  I was happy to accept the moment of awkwardness that resulted in exchange for the validation of my first ever pass!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline Julia1996

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For me it's my dad and boyfriend.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS scheduled for 2018.

Online Laurie

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 I don't know that I do feel special or secure. I've lived so long feeling just the opposite. Undeserving and insecure is the norm for me. In spite of my best efforts to ensure security it still feels like it eludes me. My world keeps falling apart around me. I should feel grateful for all I have but it's not what I want.
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Bari Jo

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For me it's the validation from friends and neighbors that see I'm changing, but think it's just diet alone.  Yes, I've lost a lot of weight, but that's not all that's happening:)  it makes me smile everytime somebody says I look great, commenting on the weight loss.
My Avatar is from faceapp.  I believe this can be achieved based on my starting point, and it's pretty.  It's a guide for the girl I feel I am inside.

Online AnonyMs

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Can't say I feel special, but the things that make me feel secure all relate in one way or another to money. With money I can control my own destiny, without it I'm more dependent on others and that makes me feel less secure.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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I'm in constant struggle with my own mind, my current self telling me to forget about this and reminding me of all the possible negative consequences that transitioning can bring. And then I read some of your stories and I feel better, I see glimpses of hope and I feel like I can do this. So I would say this forum, my therapist and some of my friends give me strength.

Online Anne Blake

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Affirmation and acceptance; from my God, my family, my new church and my extended family including my local lgbtq community and those at Susan's and local cis community.

Offline Sarah.VanDistel

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It's silly, but when things are getting a little rough along the path, when too much things seem to go wrong, I just sit in front of a mirror and look deep into my eyes, looking for this elusive soul, looking for my real self. That soul never lies... and when I see it, in all its glorious sincerity, I feel much better because I see a woman called Sarah who just begs to be, to come into existence, to be happy. The doubts go away... The smile comes back... And I'm ready for another take.

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Offline Twocky61

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Partner Claire's support
"While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her.

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her."

(For all of us who have experienced/are experiencing domestic violence at the hands of a partner)

The part "While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her" does not mean in this context having sex with her; it means to love her and hug her and be there for her

Offline Niki Knight

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I would say its everyone in my life, family, friends, distributors and employees. With all the support it has made it very easy to transition. I am very appreciative and fortunate to have the group of caring people around me that I do. Luv you all!!!!
For what its worth.
Its never to late to be who you want to be
I hope you live a life your proud of
And if you find your not
I hope you have the strength to start over.

F Scott Fitzgerald

Offline pretty pauline

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My husband
If your going thru hell, just keep going.

Offline Sarah_P

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My dear friends & step-mother (Not all of them are wicked! though, I do jokingly call her that now & then... :D ). They were all instantly supportive & accepting, and I simply could not do this without their love & support.
--Sarah P



There's a world out there, just waiting
If you only let go what's inside
Live every moment, give it your all, enjoy the ride
- Stan Bush, The Journey

Offline Steph2.0

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If I had to pick just one, it would be my wife. But I also have a few very special friends who are completely accepting, supportive, and even encouraging. And I can't forget this site, especially a few wonderful friends I've made here.

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT June 2017 * Out to the world October 2017 * Full-time... Coming Right Up!

Offline OU812

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Online AnonyMs

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I find it interesting that everyone apart from myself finds security through their interactions with others, while I get it from myself (via money). I'm not sure what to make of that.

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