Author Topic: The Stephanie Chronicles  (Read 65758 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1800 on: July 11, 2018, 08:00:00 am »
I remember when analog radios in aircraft had a Squelch knob.  If you have one on the shelf change the label to a Squeeee knob

Now I’m wondering: would I want to turn it up or turn it down?


Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Online Kendra

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,638
  • Reputation: +134/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1801 on: July 11, 2018, 08:34:32 am »
If wine glasses shatter it's calibrated beyond ten.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, GCS-2 & BA 7/2018. 

Offline Jayne01

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,860
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1802 on: July 11, 2018, 04:42:06 pm »
Stephanie, it’s so great to see you moving forward and continuing to find Squeeeee moments. I don’t expect those moments will ever get old. I like your reference to the Indiana Jones ball. You are correct, the past does not have the power to hurt you in the present. It is only a memory which you can treat however you like. You can let that ball be a giant rock to squash you, or you can choose for that ball to be styrofoam and harmlessly bounce away. I’m glad you chose styrofoam. I am very proud of you. You have come a long way!

I recommend you practice high power Squeeeee’s in a safe environment. Glass shattering around you can be hazardous.

Hugs,
Jayne



Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1803 on: July 14, 2018, 12:23:23 am »
The last couple of days have been pretty cool. A few bad things overwhelming overwhelmed by good things.

Bad: My internet service went down.
Bad: I dropped my phone face down. Now there are two green go-faster stripes down the middle of the screen.
Bad: while trying to get support for my internet service, I realized that the account still had whatsisname on it.
Bad: halfway through the day the power went out.

But!!
Good: using my very best voice, I called to get my name changed on the account. I told Mr. Barely-speaks-English my old and new names, and after he consulted with someone, asked the spelling for Stephanie. No problem, all taken care of.
Frustratingly Silly: I logged into the account, and the screen came up with, “Good Afternoon Stethanie.” Argh.
Good: Called back and talked to someone else, who called me “Miss Stephanie” and “ma’am” for the entire call. This is only the third time my voice has worked on the phone. It took a lot of work, but it proved that I can do it. And she fixed the spelling.
Good: The technician showed up, did some troubleshooting, then said “Thank you, ma’am” as he drove off to check wiring. When he left after verifying it was working, he told my wife and me, “Have a nice day, ladies.”
Good: I got my nails done. I was feeling brave, so I tried a color completely outside my comfort zone. And I love it!



Good: I took another chance and bought some stretch workout capris in a floral pattern, again something outside my old comfort zone. And not only do they fit, I love they way they look with my exercise togs.



Good: When paying for the stuff at the store: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Good: Susan’s denizen @Dani came by two nights in a row and we had great conversations and went out to dinner each night.

Summary: My voice worked on the phone! I was correctly gendered with zero mistakes both on the phone and in person. I got beautiful new nails and clothes. And I got to spend time with a friend who gets it.

That counts as a pretty good couple of days.



Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Online Jessica

  • I love you. No...... I might not know you, but if folk can hate for no good reason, I can love.
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 3,891
  • Reputation: +28/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1804 on: July 14, 2018, 12:35:36 am »
Your “Goods” out number your “Bads” by a long shot.

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

Offline Jayne01

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,860
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1805 on: July 14, 2018, 01:02:25 am »
Great couple of days Stethanie......I mean Stephanie!

Jayne



Online Alaskan Danielle

  • If you want friends, be friendly, be the first to smile and introduce yourself.
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,374
  • Reputation: +32/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I love living as a Female.
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1806 on: July 14, 2018, 01:03:11 am »
@Steph2.0
Dear Stephanie.... all in all, you posted a very good update... your pictures, your voice passing the phone test, the technician correctly addressing you as ma'am, good times with Dani.... etc.

.... and like @Jessica stated... "Your Goods out number your Bads by a long shot"

Again, thank for your very encouraging update.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Offline KathyLauren

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,119
  • Reputation: +50/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Casting off dull certainty
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1807 on: July 14, 2018, 07:51:31 am »
You are rockin' it, sister!  I love the photo of you in your exercise togs.  Very stylish!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Online LizK

  • *
  • Posts: 5,216
  • Reputation: +23/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Tick Tick Tick....
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1808 on: July 14, 2018, 05:27:17 pm »
Way to go...positives outweighing the negatives...always a good thing

What you call capri's we call leggings and I have several pairs mainly for exercise and even a few for wearing under skirts or tunics in the colder weather. I love the nail colour. I am going to get my nails done but the practicality of having long nails always stops me. Hope you keep having a fabulous day!!

Liz
HRT since 17 May 2016, Fulltime from 8 March 2017, Transition Begun 25 September 2015 
GCS 4 December 2018,

Voice Surgery 01/02/19

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be – Lao Tzu

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1809 on: July 15, 2018, 10:33:59 pm »
Great couple of days Stethanie......I mean Stephanie!

Jayne

Yes they were, Tchain.


Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1810 on: July 15, 2018, 11:35:34 pm »
Well, in @sarah1972  ‘s tradition, here’s my weekend update.

After @Dani  left Saturday morning after occupying our guest room, I headed out for a series of appointments.

First up, meet up with @SassyCassie , then head out to get my brows waxed and tinted. With my forehead looking spiffy, next up was a meeting with a new therapist.

Cassie had recommended him, and I immediately trusted him. After a year of appointments with another therapist (who quit unexpectedly due to family issues) I knew what was expected of me, and I opened up and told him all about me and what I was feeling. I felt he was always going to tell me the un-sugar-coated truth, so I was surprised when after I told him about my fears of being misgendered, he stopped and stared, and then asked, “Why would anyone misgender you?” I showed him the raw headshots I’d sent to FacialTeam and he kept looking back and forth from the pics to me and trying to reconcile them. “This is really you? Is it different makeup? Is it the light?” He finally just gave up and took my word for it.

I know you all keep telling me that I’m doing fine, but I can’t help thinking that you’re just being nice. But I came out of the meeting knowing that he wasn’t going to lie to me (he was brutally honest about some other things we’d talked about) and it was a huge boost to my confidence to hear his positive assessment.

We talked about plenty of other things, too, then the hour was up and it was off to get my phone fixed at the Fruit Store. Unfortunately I’d screwed up when I made the appointment, and I couldn’t fix the problem that day, so we went to lunch. The cool thing? Both Cassie and I were correctly gendered over and over again. Not a single mistake by anyone.

A stop to pick up some snacks, then off to a pool party being hosted by an ally of many of the trans groups around Orlando. She opened her house to all trans members and their guests, and it was a wonderfully fun and safe space, where nobody had to worry about being judged. With that in mind I gathered my courage and wore my two-piece swimsuit, but this time I wore the bikini top instead of the long one. I covered up with a towel for a while, but when it came time to have some fun in the pool, after a little hesitation I took off the towel and went in. Hopefully someone will post pics on Facebook, because I don’t have any where I’m not covered with the towel. A bunch of us were lined up in this photo, all striking poses with matching white sunglasses. Everyone was glamorous, but I don’t have permission to post their picture, so I cropped them out.


The next day, Sunday, was scheduled for a bike ride. I haven’t ridden more than a couple of miles since I started transitioning, so I didn’t know what to expect. We loaded our bikes on the Collossus and headed for a bike trail.



It was at least 90F and at the 7.5 mile mark we were glistening heavily, and decided that was far enough out for the first day.



While we were cooling off, Cassie told me that a rider who had just gone by was checking out my butt. Oh my! I guess that counts for affirmation!

We turned around and headed back, stopping at a Starbucks for air conditioning, iced tea, and some fruit, before we finished the ride back to the Colossus.

When we got to the trailhead, another couple asked us whether our vehicle had been broken into, too. Uh oh. But no, we were okay. Someone had broken their window and stolen their wallets. Our purses were in the back seat, but no problem. Before we drove out I decided to practice my voice, and I found the driver and asked if he needed anything, or a ride somewhere. He didn’t, but we had a short conversation and apparently my voice and presentation worked okay. Admittedly there was no problem at Starbucks, the grocery store, or anywhere else either. I’m still trying to get my head around the idea that people are actually seeing what I want them to. It’s something to talk to the therapist about.

Dinner, then back home, shower, jammies, and write this report for all y’all. Now bedtime. It was a pretty cool weekend.


Stephanie
« Last Edit: July 16, 2018, 06:47:11 am by Steph2.0 »


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Jayne01

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,860
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1811 on: July 16, 2018, 05:58:25 am »
Quote
I told him about my fears of being misgendered, he stopped and stared, and then asked, “Why would anyone misgender you?” I showed him the raw headshots I’d sent to FacialTeam and he kept looking back and forth from the pics to me and trying to reconcile them. “This is really you? Is it different makeup? Is it the light?” He finally just gave up and took my word for it.

I know you all keep telling me that I’m doing fine, but I can’t help thinking that you’re just being nice. But I came out of the meeting knowing that he wasn’t going to lie to me (he was brutally honest about some other things we’d talked about) and it was a huge boost to my confidence to hear his positive assessment.

....

I’m still trying to get my head around the idea that people are actually seeing what I want them to.
Stephanie,

It took a new therapist for you to start believing what your friends have been telling you for a long time. I’m tempted to say “we told you so”, but that isn’t necessary. The important thing is that you are beginning to understand that you pass. People do see what you want them to. It’s time to let go of some of your self criticism and throw away the magnifying glass you use to look at yourself. You are doing so much better than you think you are.

Glad the rest of your weekend also went well.

Hugs,
Jayne



Online sarah1972

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,807
  • Reputation: +11/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • News Administrator
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1812 on: July 16, 2018, 08:31:41 am »
And what kind of update you wrote @Steph2.0! You seem to have had an awesome weekend. So nice to be invited to a like-minded pool party, that certainly helps feel comfortable.

You made so much amazing progress. It will take a while or maybe never that you and I can take it for granted to be gendered correctly. I also noticed it happened from one day to another, like someone flipped a switch.  It seems like your switch got flipped a while ago!

So great to see you enjoy all these happy activities.

Hugs,

Sarah


Online davina61

  • *
  • Posts: 2,063
  • Reputation: +10/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • The ramblings of an old dear
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1813 on: July 16, 2018, 01:30:39 pm »
I know I sometimes need glasses but not to see the woman in the pics. Pool party , yes please its gone muggy here and keep breaking out in a sweat!!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline KathyLauren

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 5,119
  • Reputation: +50/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Casting off dull certainty
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1814 on: July 16, 2018, 02:30:39 pm »
after I told him about my fears of being misgendered, he stopped and stared, and then asked, “Why would anyone misgender you?”
See, told you!

I am glad that your new therapist is a good fit for you.  I totally love the pool pic, as well as the hot biker chicks!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1815 on: July 16, 2018, 02:37:08 pm »
See, told you!

I am glad that your new therapist is a good fit for you.  I totally love the pool pic, as well as the hot biker chicks!

Let’s see:

Sweaty, check.
Bicycles, check.
Girls, check.

Sure enough, Hot Biker Chicks!

Thank you, Kathy.


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1816 on: July 16, 2018, 07:17:22 pm »
I know I sometimes need glasses but not to see the woman in the pics. Pool party , yes please its gone muggy here and keep breaking out in a sweat!!

Thank you, Davina. I don’t want to jinx myself, but all these kind comment have me starting to doubt my doubts, if you get my meaning.

Heat and humidity seem to be regarded as foreign concepts to the UK, but not in my experience. I’ve only been there once, and it was in the summer of 2003. The weather was exactly as I’d left behind in Florida. Cattle were dying in the fields in France, fans were sold out everywhere, and waitstaff in restaurants carried around big bowls of crushed ice for anyone who wanted some in their lemon squash.

Unrelated, my favorite meal was a ploughman’s lunch enjoyed on the banks of the Avon in Stratford, second only to bangers and mash, with spotted dick for dessert.

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1817 on: July 16, 2018, 07:25:37 pm »
And what kind of update you wrote @Steph2.0! You seem to have had an awesome weekend. So nice to be invited to a like-minded pool party, that certainly helps feel comfortable.

You made so much amazing progress. It will take a while or maybe never that you and I can take it for granted to be gendered correctly. I also noticed it happened from one day to another, like someone flipped a switch.  It seems like your switch got flipped a while ago!

So great to see you enjoy all these happy activities.

Thank you, Sarah.

Just living the life, eh girlfriend? The new normal? I’m still hyper-vigilant, but starting to wonder about whether I can think about considering maybe not worrying quite so much.

When I do allow myself to relax a little, life is a lot more enjoyable. I may try it more often.

Oh, and while I do love teddy bears, I like your updated avatar better!

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Steph2.0

  • AKA Galaxy Girl
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,751
  • Reputation: +18/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Replacing existing with living
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1818 on: July 16, 2018, 07:38:18 pm »
Stephanie,

It took a new therapist for you to start believing what your friends have been telling you for a long time. I’m tempted to say “we told you so”, but that isn’t necessary. The important thing is that you are beginning to understand that you pass. People do see what you want them to. It’s time to let go of some of your self criticism and throw away the magnifying glass you use to look at yourself. You are doing so much better than you think you are.

Glad the rest of your weekend also went well.

Thank you, Jayne. I do seem to be getting an awfully lot of those ITYS posts lately. I went out to lunch with a wonderfully supportive ciswoman today, and she said the same thing. She is in her seventies and still looks great and so well put together. She has helped me so much with “how to girl” advice, and I asked her again today whether she had anything to suggest to improve my presentation. Just as last time I asked, she couldn’t think of anything.

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Jayne01

  • Family
  • *****
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 1,860
  • Reputation: +13/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: The Stephanie Chronicles
« Reply #1819 on: July 17, 2018, 12:46:53 am »
..... and I asked her again today whether she had anything to suggest to improve my presentation. Just as last time I asked, she couldn’t think of anything.
Stephanie, I think it’s time for you to find the nearest trash can and dispose of the last remaining self doubts you carry around with you. You have done it! You have successfully transitioned. Any surgeries or procedures you wish to do in the future are for your own personal benefit, and not for making you passable as a woman. You already pass very well.

Hugs,
Jayne



Tags: