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How to tell my young kids I am transgender?


Alright, I don't ask for advice on here often. I am hoping some of you have dealt with this in your own transition. I have 5 young boys and have not told them that dad is transitioning. Reason for this is that I live far away and only talk to them on the phone and wanted a more face to face conversation on it. I am visiting them in November. I know kids are resilient and way more accepting than most adults. My kids ages are 11, 11, 8, 5, and 3. So I know relating it to their ages will be key for me. What should I tell them, how, any advice on what worked for you to tell your kids? Any advice would help and any great articles or anything really. Thanks all!!!!!!!

My kids are considerably older 30 and 27 and I was so afraid. But they handled it well, telling me you've always been my Dad, You will always be our Dad. Doesn't help with the pronouns but I don't get too offended. Fortunately prejudice is a learned behavior and the younger the less judgemental and less likely to have a negative opinion. Don't talk down to them. Assume they have some insight. I always treated my children as voting members in the family and valued their contribution.

You try to be as brave as they are.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

The important thing with younger kids that they understand you will still love them and you will still be the same person even though your appearance will change. Don't overload them with facts but answer any questions they might have. Often we hear about people having this discussion with their kind and after it's over, they return to normal play without any issues. However if you have female children, be prepared to have your nails painted.

My kids both girls were 10 & 8 (now 11 & 9) when I came out to them.  I basically sat them down and told them that I was transgender.  They both were okay with it and knew what being transgender was without me having to explain it to them.  Both accepted me with no hesitation.  It helps that kids that age still look up to their parents.  Some of their close friends know that I am transgender, the youngest one mentioned that I was going through some changes and the ex-wife told the family.  Their friends just brushed it off and I haven't heard of any bullying or other problems.

They had questions like what should they call me now and was "Dad" still okay (i still let them call me that though it's starting to feel wrong) and what I would look like as a woman.  It is a bit more awkward with my older girl but that is just her personality.  It's also kinda neat for me that we are going through puberty together in that I can relate to some of the changes she is going through.

I agree with the pronouns.  I've found family to the be worst.  Nothing outs me faster than being in a store with them and hearing "Dad" yelled at me every 2 minutes.

Good luck.


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