Author Topic: Joke Thread  (Read 884 times)

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Online Steph2.0

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #20 on: October 21, 2017, 11:01:58 pm »
An old farmer had to castrate his bull, so he took it to the vet. The vet told him it would cost $400. Well, that was way beyond the poor old farmer’s means, so he sadly led the bull back home.

Later, as he’s sitting on his front porch looking sad, a boy walking down the road sees him, and asks why he’s looking so down. The farmer explains about the $400 castration fee, and the kid says, “Gee, mister, I’ll castrate that bull for twenty dollars.”

“Twenty dollars!? How do you do it?”

“Well, I just hitch that old bull up in the back, take two bricks, and clap ‘em together.”

The farmer exclaims, “Whoa, doesn’t that hurt?!”

The kid answers, “Not if you keep your thumbs out of the way.”


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Started name change 10/25/17 * RLE happening now!

Offline Roll

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #21 on: October 21, 2017, 11:34:02 pm »
A guy is on a trip to Alaska with his old beat up pickup truck. As he pulls into a small town he notices something leaking out from under the truck. He pulls into a shop and the mechanic agrees to look at it right away, and in the meantime the guy can get a meal and dessert at one of the fast food places just across the street.

An hour later the guy walks back across to check on progress. The mechanic says, “Well, it looks like you blew a seal.”

The guy, wiping his mouth, says, “Oh, no, that’s just ice cream.”

Is it weird that now I want ice cream?
- Ellie
(Anxiously awaiting my hormones, why are the labs taking so long... gaaaahh!)

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/10/17 - Presented as female in therapy!
10/20/17 - Came out to my father!
11/8/17 - Initial HRT consult!

I'm thinking about making a ticker for how many days until I have something to put in the ticker. But then I realized I won't know what to set the countdown to until it actually happens, so now I'm going to eat an ice cream sandwich. The progression made more sense in my head.

Offline Twocky61

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #22 on: October 22, 2017, 04:17:44 am »
Barry the Baracuda is swimming along in the ocean when he comes across his friend Sid the squid

"Hi Sid" call's Barry "How's things with you today?"

"Well" replies Sid "I'm not very well today"

Barry invites Sid to swim with him to warmer waters where he will feel better

Some time later Barry & Sid come across Steve the Sea Horse.

"His Steve" call's Barry "here's that sick squid I owe you"
"While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her.

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her."

(For all of us who have experienced/are experiencing domestic violence at the hands of a partner)

The part "While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her" does not mean in this context having sex with her; it means to love her and hug her and be there for her

Offline Dani

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #23 on: October 22, 2017, 06:39:03 am »
"His Steve" call's Barry "here's that sick squid I owe you"

In the US we tell the same joke using a male deer.  :laugh:



Online sarah1972

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #24 on: October 22, 2017, 09:31:25 am »



The guy, wiping his mouth, says, “Oh, no, that’s just ice cream.”

Offline Laurie

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #25 on: October 25, 2017, 03:21:05 pm »
  Upon review we would like the posters to use caution in posting jokes some may in fact cross the lines set forth in our Terms of service. Please keep in mind that it is a fine line between humor and offending someone.
   That being said let the harmless joke flow..

  "There once was a man from Nantucket..... ooops nevermind.

 Laurie
 Global Moderator
« Last Edit: October 31, 2017, 10:42:25 am by Laurie »
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Laurie

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #26 on: October 26, 2017, 03:32:07 pm »
My apologies to everyone. I did all I was going to do with the posting of my caution above except unlock this thread. I am sorry. I've had a challenging couple of days.

Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Twocky61

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #27 on: October 31, 2017, 05:55:44 am »
I picked up an autobiography from the bookshop today, sadly I had to take it back, as it was about the guy who invented sellotape and I couldn't find the start....

"While you SCREAM at your woman, there's a man, wishing he could talk softly in her ear...

While you HUMILIATE, OFFEND, & INSULT her,
there's a man flirting with her, & reminding her, how wonderful she is.

While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her.

While you make your woman CRY,
there's a man stealing smiles from her."

(For all of us who have experienced/are experiencing domestic violence at the hands of a partner)

The part "While you HURT your woman,
there's a man wishing he could make love to her" does not mean in this context having sex with her; it means to love her and hug her and be there for her

Online Steph2.0

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  • Anachronisms are so yesterday...
Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #28 on: October 31, 2017, 07:14:22 am »
I picked up an autobiography from the bookshop today, sadly I had to take it back, as it was about the guy who invented sellotape and I couldn't find the start....

Badump-bump Tsssss.

Keep picking at it. You’re on a roll!


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Started name change 10/25/17 * RLE happening now!

Offline Roll

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Re: Joke Thread
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2017, 10:40:03 am »
I could type a joke out, but why bother when someone else has already told it better than I could? ;D So here's a link to a really great bad joke told by Quentin Tarantino in Desperado! Again, viewer discretion advised. Joke itself is more gross-out than sexually vulgar (surprisingly), but the posters of the video also included a random violent bit from the scene at the end.

- Ellie
(Anxiously awaiting my hormones, why are the labs taking so long... gaaaahh!)

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/10/17 - Presented as female in therapy!
10/20/17 - Came out to my father!
11/8/17 - Initial HRT consult!

I'm thinking about making a ticker for how many days until I have something to put in the ticker. But then I realized I won't know what to set the countdown to until it actually happens, so now I'm going to eat an ice cream sandwich. The progression made more sense in my head.

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