Author Topic: Grrr, why is this so complicated?  (Read 26836 times)

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Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #500 on: January 23, 2019, 09:01:32 am »
Sorry for being quiet lately. Honestly not terribly much to report.  A few dates, a new dungeons and dragons campaign, snow, renewed motivation to be better, etc.

@amberwaves
Dear Amber:
Wowzers......   my eyes are very happy to see your new post on your thread.
It is always wonderful to see your Avatar picture and read update posts of my favorite forums Redhead!!!

.... and yes, as @KathyLauren  mentioned it is so wonderful to hear your words about your social activities, and your renewed motivation.... 

Your update was short and sweet but I am so very glad that you checked in to let us know that you are still alive and kicking.

Hugs and many well wishes, 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #501 on: March 11, 2019, 05:31:32 am »
Hi folks sorry to be so silent lots of things going on but not much that I'm at liberty to discuss or that is very interesting.  Just checking in to let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking.  I'll be posting a more detailed update later today or tomorrow.  Hope everyone is doing well.

Offline davina61

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #502 on: March 11, 2019, 05:32:14 pm »
I was hoping you were OK, good to see your still kicking butt!!!
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever

Offline LizK

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #503 on: March 12, 2019, 03:43:18 am »
Hi folks sorry to be so silent lots of things going on but not much that I'm at liberty to discuss or that is very interesting.  Just checking in to let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking.  I'll be posting a more detailed update later today or tomorrow.  Hope everyone is doing well.

Glad you are Okay and will look for your update. Thanks for checking in

Liz

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #504 on: March 13, 2019, 08:24:47 am »
I'm not really kicking butt by any stretch.  I've worked hard to become a good person, but life does seem to be kicking me in the nuts that I wish I didn't have over that fact.  Honestly, I'm tired of trying to be a good person.  It seems to me that the who get ahead in life are those who are self centered. Currently reevaluating what I want to do and be.

Still working my <poor>, low paying job.  No really good options have presented themselves.  I have until June to get the more situation squared away.  Lots of things to do and no time to do it.  The Amber #2 situation is still unclear.  Side income has been less than stellar.

I've got a few ideas and plans about how to move forward, but I'm not 100% sure I'm up to any of them.  I let myself go this winter and I'm back up to 240.  Not pleased by that at all.  Luckily the weather is slowly getting nicer so I should be able to rectify that in time. I still look okay, but it's not where I want to be.

Dating has been fun.  I do enjoy the excitement of meeting new people.  I've had lots of interest so I get to be the picky one for the first time in my life.  Unfortunately my busy schedule keeps me from really filling up my dance card.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 10:36:11 am by amberwaves »

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #505 on: July 03, 2019, 06:51:16 pm »
Long time for an update. Truth is life has not been kind.  No better or new job yet. Put on weight due to stress. We lost the house.  My birthday is tomorrow and all I can think about is all the wasted time in my life.  Not that anyone particularly cares or likely more than barely remembers me here since I fell off the map months and months ago.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #506 on: July 03, 2019, 08:41:21 pm »
Long time for an update. Truth is life has not been kind.  No better or new job yet. Put on weight due to stress. We lost the house.  My birthday is tomorrow and all I can think about is all the wasted time in my life. Not that anyone particularly cares or likely more than barely remembers me here since I fell off the map months and months ago.

@amberwaves
My Dearest Amber
OH, STOP IT !!!!!
I do indeed remember you, you are my favorite Redhead and you are not forgotten and I do care for your well being, and you must recall that we communicated very frequently last year and early this year but you indeed kinda stopped posting on your thread and on other threads.   

I am so saddened to read about your troubles.... I hesitated to bug you more that I did with my PMs and with my reply comments to your postings....   I sensed that you were in a difficult place in your life with relationships, your job, and your wife and family!!  I could not find all the words that I wanted to say to you to support and encourage you through your difficult times recently.

Tomorrow is your Birthday
and that alone is reason enough to celebrate and be happy for at least ONE DAY.
I am wishing you a VERY H A P P Y   B I R T H D A Y  
.... it is your own unique special day.
            :icon_bunch: :icon_flower: :icon_bunch: :icon_flower: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_birthday: :icon_bunch: :icon_flower: :icon_bunch: :icon_flower: :icon_bunch:

Please feel free to VENT here on your thread.... venting, writing out about your feelings and issues that you are dealing with is very good personal therapy... and as I have told you in the past, we are your biggest fans here, we will rejoice with you when you have good news to report, and when the news is not-so-good we are here to lend your our ears and to give you our shoulders to lean on.

Please come back more often....  you were gone for almost 4 MONTHS and you were indeed missed not only by me but surely by others that have followed your thread in the past.

MANY HUGS  and  more hugs....  wishing you the best as always,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #507 on: July 03, 2019, 10:22:46 pm »
I thank you Danielle for the kind words. Truth be told the last few months have been some of the most terrible of my life.  I mostly choose not vent about it.  Unfortunately the future does not look particularly positive.  That certainly does make it hard to celebrate your birthday.  I'll honestly be amazed if I even make it out of bed tomorrow.

Offline LizK

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #508 on: July 05, 2019, 12:02:43 pm »
Hi Amber

I hope you do make it out of bed and not just tomorrow.

Happy Birthday...I hope you can manage some sembalance of happiness for it.

I have been a little preoccupied over the last few months myself with couple of little issues I have been dealing with. Maybe have a vent anyway...might at least make you feel a little better.

Welcome back and please share with us the things that are troubling...none of us may be able to help in a real way but you never know there are a lot of great people on this site and apart from that you may well just feel a little better for it.

Take care

Liz


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Offline Anjanette Miranda

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #509 on: July 05, 2019, 01:00:56 pm »
HAPPY BIRTHDAY  :icon_birthday:

AJ

Offline Maybebaby56

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #510 on: July 05, 2019, 05:11:56 pm »
Hi Amber,

Happy Birthday, girl! 

I still remember you fondly from our chance meeting in Dr. McGinn's waiting room last year.

I wish you all the best, and hope things start looking up for you soon.

With kindness,

Terri
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives" - Annie Dillard

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #511 on: July 05, 2019, 08:10:39 pm »
Thank you ladies for the birthday wishes.  You have all literally succeeded in doing something my father was completely incapable of doing despite being my neighbor.

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #512 on: September 25, 2019, 03:39:28 pm »
Hi folks just checking in.  The toughest patches seem to be over and now it's just a slow climb out of the pit I've dug.  We found a place to live and got everything moved.  The kids have started school and slowly we are approaching the new normal.

I got a part time job at best buy.  Seems like a nice place.  My coworkers are pretty nice anyway, which is an improvement.  Most of my income is coming from Uber rn.  I've been driving at Penn State which unfortunately involves am hour travel time each way. I make good money on fireball game weekends and the rest of the week is decent, but it's inconsistent and puts a ton of miles on my car.  I'm still a few hundred behind on bills and having a rent payment twice what my mortgage was is not helpful.

Due to all the stress I've gotten fat again.  I will be working to correct that soon.  My eating habits have been atrocious and I've been low on the physical activity since I spend 12 hours a day in my car.  Come October I'll have the ability to buy decent food again.  I should also hopefully have the motivation to work out.  It's just been a rough bunch of months.

I haven't heard from not spoken to my father since late July.  I asked him to lend us a bit of money to get settled in the new place and he refused.  He couldn't be bothered to wish me a happy birthday.  He didn't help us move.  He has done a while lot of nothing.  As far as I'm concerned he is no longer my father.  He clearly doesn't care.  I have no intention of visiting or even reaching out to him over the holiday season.

Dating has been a complete non-event for months.  I get some interest from men occasionally, but I would prefer a woman right now.  The pickings are unfortunately slim around here.  Someday maybe things will turn around in that department.  It's not like I have much time to date anyway since I work almost every single day.  I might take a day off every two weeks if I'm lucky.

I'm not miserable at the moment, but I'm not bunch and happy either.  Just stuck doing what I need to do to survive.  It would be nice if things were different, but I'm not really holding out much hope for anything to change any time soon.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #513 on: September 25, 2019, 03:58:52 pm »
@amberwaves
Dearest Amber (my favorite redhead)
Wowzers!!! A voice from the past for sure.... 
....just checking in after a 3 month absence!!!! 
I am so glad that you are still alive and kicking.

I am so happy to read your good report about finding a place to live, moving, and the kids have started school.

It is good that you have several sources of income, but unfortunately you are a little short when paying the bills.  I trust that things improve in those situations.

So sorry to read about your dad and his inactions... you are not alone there, after transitioning for four and a half years and full time for almost 3 years... my dad still does not accept me, and he barely speaks to me when I call... I have not spoken to him since last Christmas when I called back home., I have never gotten a call, letter or email from him, never ever.  My mom is a little better but still the conversations are just one way from me, I barely get short responses to my phone calls.

My suggestion is to not worry too much about the dating department ...  you have bigger fish to fry with your jobs, income, wife and kids, etc.   Dating will indeed happen when it happens, sometimes at the most unexpected moment when you are not looking.... in fact my dating relationships happened without me looking, they just happened primarily because I love to meet and greet people and I am involved in all kinds of activities where other like-minded individuals are present.   Bottom line, don't try so hard, it will happen when it is supposed to happen.

Regarding your weight and your fitness, you know what to do... you definitely don't need me giving you advice in that department.

I am so very glad to see you return to your thread....  needless to say I was thinking of you frequently...
HUGS and more HUGS, 
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #514 on: September 25, 2019, 04:22:13 pm »
Oh, trust me, you wouldn't have liked much of what I would have had to say over the past the months.  Even as it stands I feel like I don't have much to really say that's positive.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #515 on: September 25, 2019, 04:24:01 pm »
Oh, trust me, you wouldn't have liked much of what I would have had to say over the past the months.  Even as it stands I feel like I don't have much to really say that's positive.

@amberwaves
Dear Amber...
It doesn't matter....
...I am just so very happy to see your presence back here on the forums and your thread!!!
HUGS,
Danielle
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #516 on: February 24, 2020, 01:54:16 pm »
I'm going to try to get back into the habit of posting stuff here.  Just have so much going on in life and most of it not positive.

Offline Northern Star Girl

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #517 on: February 24, 2020, 02:01:31 pm »
@amberwaves
Dear Amber:
After a 5 month "vacation" from the forums, my favorite redhead from the past has returned.... 
....it is terrific to see you come back. 
I have missed you!!!

I will be looking forward to your updates, postings and comments as you feel so inclined to share them.

Also as we have done in the past please feel free to PM me whenever you wish.

HUGS and lots more hugs,
Danielle


I'm going to try to get back into the habit of posting stuff here.  Just have so much going on in life and most of it not positive.
***SEE MY LINKS BELOW
The Ramblings of a Northern*Star Girl
A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles
I am the HUNTED PREY: Danielle’s Chronicles
Things change re: ALASKAN DANIELLE
Positive Mindset... put away negativity

Started HRT:   March 2015
Went Full-Time    December 2016
Quit my male-mode job and relocated to a very small town in Alaska in January 2017
I'm a blonde, blue eyed woman, Age 40

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #518 on: February 24, 2020, 02:21:06 pm »
Yeah I'm busy pretty much all time working multiple jobs, but I'll see if I can spare some time to update on things.

Offline michjenn

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #519 on: March 31, 2020, 09:20:54 am »
Hi Amber, I hope things are going better for you. Jenn

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