Author Topic: Grrr, why is this so complicated?  (Read 27958 times)

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Offline Jenntrans

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #220 on: March 08, 2018, 04:09:17 pm »
New hair color after a cut taken on a new phone.  New everything!  What do you think?



You so remind me of a cousin of mine that I grew up with.

So what do I think Miss Amberwaves. Ok Ma'am.

So what is the big deal? You pass. I haven't seen your body yet but I know genetic women that can't pass as women even.

So what is making you so unhappy?

That is a question only you can answer. If it is your body, then only you can do anything about that. If it is your face? I see nothing wrong with it. You are pretty, and look like a woman.

So what is bringing you so down?

You do know the so called "Seven Year Itch" is not just a song. Most people don't realize it but they go through a change in personality every seven years. Most people don't even realize it if they are happy but they do change.

So maybe the answers now that you are feminine you need to answer on your own. I know children change the dynamics of a relationship but maybe send then to grandma's house and you and your wife experiment a little with guys and girls. maybe experiment a little amongst yourselves.

A lot of people see sex as shame with strict guidelines. Sex should be totally open between two people that love one another. There should be no shame or belittling between either party.

So what exactly are you asking? Your hair looks good but smoother would be better. Are you pretty? Yes you are. You have a nose like mine even.

Why do you ask for justification? You are pretty. With makeup even more so even. But what does your partner think? Is that the big question you are asking?

OMG just ban me now mods.

But... It is not what we think. It is way more about how good you feel about yourself and how your partner thinks about you. I will tell you right now I like the hair and the face and you are pretty and passable. But you seem to want more confirmation though.

So that begs me to ask who you are not getting confirmation from?

Yes I put my foot in my mouth again I know. Cuss me if you want. But everything about you screams AMBER. You may not think it but it is what I see. Sorry if I offended.

Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #221 on: March 08, 2018, 04:20:33 pm »
Amber's gonna get carded for cigs.
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Aspiringperson

Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #222 on: March 08, 2018, 04:24:50 pm »
New hair color after a cut taken on a new phone.  New everything!  What do you think?



@ amberwaves.... certainly a new and bright hair color for you that can not be un-noticed!!!....  I also like your hair length!! but no pony tail or pig tails????
... and your picture... YES, YOU DEFINTELY PASS !!!
aspiringperson

Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #223 on: March 08, 2018, 04:27:42 pm »
Doesn't pass as an adult, where's your ID young lady?
HRT since 1/04/2018

Aspiringperson

Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #224 on: March 08, 2018, 04:35:17 pm »
Doesn't pass as an adult, where's your ID young lady?

 @ Cassi: I agree with you,
I see a teenage girl named Amber.
aspiringperson

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #225 on: March 08, 2018, 04:50:11 pm »
Okay I am just flat out confused now.  I didn't think that I was asking about whether I pass it not.  I know I pass, because I pass in my daily life.  I appreciate the confirmation on that though.  I put this up because I like the new shade and wanted to share.  Yes I am self conscious about my appearance, but so are many people.  A lifetime of being bullied and teased for your appearance will do that.  I dont think I am being more support needy than others.  There certainly are a few on this site that are quite narcissistic looking for compliments.

My wife does like the color, she's the one that did it.  I do get compliments at home.  I do get affection there too.  I could go back to not ever putting myself out there and posting about my life or posting pictures.  I have found people here that I enjoy sharing with.  Some of them even like to see my pictures.  I spent decades running from the camera.  I finally can take a good photo that doesn't disgust me.  I just don't know where this idea that I need confirmation of my passing or anything like that comes from.

As to other comments perhaps I'll address them later.  I've already discussed my revelations on my sexuality. Anyway, got stuff to accomplish. 

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Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #226 on: March 08, 2018, 05:40:56 pm »
Okay I am just flat out confused now.  I didn't think that I was asking about whether I pass it not.  I know I pass, because I pass in my daily life.  I appreciate the confirmation on that though.  I put this up because I like the new shade and wanted to share.  Yes I am self conscious about my appearance, but so are many people.  A lifetime of being bullied and teased for your appearance will do that.  I dont think I am being more support needy than others.  There certainly are a few on this site that are quite narcissistic looking for compliments.

My wife does like the color, she's the one that did it.  I do get compliments at home.  I do get affection there too.  I could go back to not ever putting myself out there and posting about my life or posting pictures.  I have found people here that I enjoy sharing with.  Some of them even like to see my pictures.  I spent decades running from the camera.  I finally can take a good photo that doesn't disgust me.  I just don't know where this idea that I need confirmation of my passing or anything like that comes from.

As to other comments perhaps I'll address them later.  I've already discussed my revelations on my sexuality. Anyway, got stuff to accomplish. 

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Okay, Sweetheart!

You look absolutely marvelous!  However, for some reason the dye removed at least 15 years from you.  So, back to HS.

Anddddddddddddddddd, you look more like my wife #2, especially the blue eyes!
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Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #227 on: March 08, 2018, 05:49:22 pm »
Doesn't pass as an adult, where's your ID young lady?
@ Cassi: I agree with you,
I see a teenage girl named Amber.
aspiringperson
Nice, I erased the last two decades!  I've always looked younger than I am, but teenager?!?! 

Also, the hair isn't normally that puffy. The wind was whipping it up pretty good and blow drying it to see the color sooner didn't help either.

If I look like your ex then you ma'am have excellent taste.

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Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #228 on: March 08, 2018, 05:51:14 pm »
Nice, I erased the last two decades!  I've always looked younger than I am, but teenager?!?! 

Also, the hair isn't normally that puffy. The wind was whipping it up pretty good and blow drying it to see the color sooner didn't help either.

If I look like your ex then you ma'am have excellent taste.

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Yes indeed young lady :)
HRT since 1/04/2018

Aspiringperson

Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #229 on: March 09, 2018, 11:48:32 am »
snipped:
..... Okay I am just flat out confused now.  I didn't think that I was asking about whether I pass it not.  I know I pass, because I pass in my daily life.  I appreciate the confirmation on that though.
-----------------
..... I just don't know where this idea that I need confirmation of my passing or anything like that comes from.

@ amberwaves:   I know full well that when you posted your "wind blown" picture that you were NOT asking for confirmation if you passed or not.   My comment was purely my reaction to your hair color and your "young look" in that picture and that you would pass as an older teen. 
Nevertheless, whether you asked or not, isn't it nice to hear from others in a similar situation as a trans as you are that you unmistakably pass? 
Sorry if you felt uncomfortable with my comment....  I will zip my mouth now!!!
Best wishes,
aspiringperson

Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #230 on: March 09, 2018, 12:26:10 pm »


snipped:
@ amberwaves:   I know full well that when you posted your "wind blown" picture that you were NOT asking for confirmation if you passed or not.   My comment was purely my reaction to your hair color and your "young look" in that picture and that you would pass as an older teen. 
Nevertheless, whether you asked or not, isn't it nice to hear from others in a similar situation as a trans as you are that you unmistakably pass? 
Sorry if you felt uncomfortable with my comment....  I will zip my mouth now!!!
Best wishes,
aspiringperson

Oh you don't have to apologize or keep quiet.  I do appreciate the confirmation.  It was just weird because there are two comments in a row about it and I made me confused and self conscious.

I can't believe it makes me look THAT young.  I usually clock in around 28-30.  I love how it looks and my post certainly helps.  I have a hard time being objective about my appearance, especially in photos.  I see all the negatives.  I can point to positives, but my brain discounts them away.  I've had people tell me I was attractive as a guy, but I never saw it.  I see it in the mirror these days.  Honestly, I know that I am subjectively more attractive than a number of women I see shopping, but I have a hard time with that.  Like always rational awareness and believing something remain separate.

It still weirds me out to a degree that some people like and want to see my pictures.  I went through a similar reconciliation process when I realized I was passing all the time and it wasn't just people being nice.  Don't feel like you can't comment for fear of making me uncomfortable.  Honestly, I am a sucker for compliments and flattery will get you everywhere

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Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #231 on: March 09, 2018, 12:27:48 pm »
Quit text'n and change your Avatar :)
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Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #232 on: March 09, 2018, 01:06:26 pm »
Quit text'n and change your Avatar :)
Just so you know, I'm not your ex so you don't get to be so bossy with me

Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #233 on: March 09, 2018, 01:14:22 pm »
Just so you know, I'm not your ex so you don't get to be so bossy with me

LOL!!!!!  Avatar looks great!

No, she was the bossy one.  I was or use to be only bossy (in a nice way) when I had to at work!
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Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #234 on: March 09, 2018, 08:00:19 pm »
Well due to illness I didn't get to meet up with Michelle.  We decided to go down to Harrisburg anyway.  Hopefully we meet some nice people.

Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #235 on: March 09, 2018, 08:19:36 pm »
There are nice people in Penn?
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Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #236 on: March 09, 2018, 08:47:22 pm »
There are nice people in Penn?
They must be visitors

Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #237 on: March 09, 2018, 09:39:44 pm »
They must be visitors

Ya Got Me!  Good One!
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Offline amberwaves

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #238 on: March 19, 2018, 11:00:19 am »
Oh my goodness it's been a while since I've updated.  So much stuff.

I went to the dance at the keystone conference.  It's was so much fun.  We were supposed to meet up with someone from here, but they got sick and we didn't get to.  The wife and I still went down and had so much fun.  It was very surreal.  I am so used to being the only trans person that it was neat to get to talk and hang out with others.  There were actually a few instances where I wasn't even clocked.  So I guess I need to shut my transition and get over any insecurities there.  I dressed up in a nice dress (see the fabulous thread) and got so many compliments.  I guess I have to stop being insecure and accept the fact that I am pretty.

This past weekend we went to visit my friend and his family in Baltimore.  That was so awesome.  I haven't seen them in almost 2 years.  Their kids are getting so big.  We didn't do a whole lot there, but it was so nice to hang out.  My friend and I used to be roommates in college and have been friends since high school.  My transition was a complete non-issue for them.  My friend told me how happy I seem these days and how great that was.  I even got along with his wife.  Historically we haven't gotten along that well.  All changes for the better.

On the drive down we got to have dinner with a trans friend.  That was so great.  I wore this nice white dress I bought.  I always avoided white because it draws attention to you.  I managed to look look cute in it.  We had so much in common.  It's unusual for me to hit it off with someone so well.  We even got together for coffee on the return trip. I made a friend and the fact that they are a trans woman is a nice bonus.  It was such a nice weekend we didn't want it to end. My wife and I were only half joking when we said we should move down there.  We are both sick of the complete lack of everything in our area.  No idea how I could make it work, but gives me something to work towards.


Offline Cassi

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Re: Grrr, why is this so complicated?
« Reply #239 on: March 19, 2018, 01:16:24 pm »
Awesome!
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