Author Topic: Don't fight hate with hate  (Read 633 times)

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Offline Rowena_Ellenweorc

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Don't fight hate with hate
« on: May 24, 2017, 07:41:54 pm »
Okay so this is mostly a rant that I need to get out.  Some things really drive me crazy.  Like hatred for people being different.  What bothers me even more than that though, is when people fight hate with hate...

So here's what happened that makes me need to vent.  Normally, I don't mind posts that say, 'report this page. its a horrible page,' because in reality they usually are. And usually, I will report them.  Today, on facebook, in an LGBT group I recently joined, one of these was posted by the group admin.  I went to the page, and it turns out, its an event page for people to protest the Pride Festival in Salt Lake next week. (Hell Shaking Street Preachers if you know the group)

I looked over the event page and quite literally the only thing on it besides a picture of four guys wearing 'Jesus Saves from Hell' or 'Fear God' or 'Trust Jesus' shirts (which in my opinion is all right and shouldn't be considered offensive alone... its what's done with them) that could be construed as 'hate speech' is the event description.  "Teaming Up With Other Street Preachers From Across America To Crash A Homo Parade And Festival With The Bible."

The creators of the event have not posted anything else on the event page.  Do not get me wrong.  I do not support them in the slightest.  And despite the fact I don't necessarily think the page violates FB policies, I did report it, because maybe I missed something.  I'm an advocate that EVERYONE has the right to say what they think, as long as it doesn't infringe on others well-being.  I'm also an advocate for standing up to hatred and bullying, having suffered from so much of it throughout my 28 years of life.

But what I cannot support is responding to hatred with hatred, bullying with bullying.  And the admin of the LGBT group let herself get caught up in her emotions and retaliated with worse words (in my opinion) than what were said in the description, not that I like the word 'homo' especially in such a derogatory manner.  It is not okay to call people evil.  Its not okay to mock them when they say, 'Trust Jesus'.  Its not okay to retaliate with the childish retort 'Get a life'.  Sure maybe they are minor compared to what else could have been said, but for heaven's sake, you just gave them ammunition!

In my experience, people and groups like this, they WANT you to give them attention, they WANT you to retaliate, because then it gives them more to work with.  Another excuse to say something like, 'See what these people are like?' or 'See? They're trying to convert our children into sinners.' 'See they are trying to force themselves upon us...'

Thankfully, as of yet, the group has not responded to her inflammatory post, but in my mind, anyone would retaliate against their character or beliefs being insulted or mocked.  So until they respond, if they do, its my personal opinion these street preachers are actually taking the higher road.

So in the lgbt group, I mentioned that the best course of action may be to just stay quiet, since they really haven't said anything.  I did mention that they could report still, and I don't think that it would be wrong to show they want the event page shut down that way.  But to retaliate like that just fuels the fire and gives them what they want. So the admin said, 'I don't see it as fueling the fire, but standing up for my beliefs.  Besides, especially on social media, I don't care what others think.'

...... Really now?  Where in your post did you state any beliefs?  All I saw was an attack.  (And then a link to our group... BAAAAAD idea there, but hey. That's another post for another time)  And beyond that, you are an admin.  And even if you weren't, your words still reflect the community. And if/when they do retaliate, what will you do then?  Keep going? Keep fanning their flames?  There is a certain point where speaking does more harm than good.

Okay, end rant.  Just had to get that out, because I don't believe that she is in the right.
~Ren

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-ren-losee/please-read/10155966104353223/ on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!

....

This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems

Offline Jennifer RachaelAnn

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Re: Don't fight hate with hate
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2017, 09:55:34 pm »
"Hate your enemies with a whole heart, and if a man smite you on one cheek SMASH him on the other; smite him hip and thigh, for self preservation is the highest law."
"There are many who would take my time. I shun them.
There are some who share my time. I am entertained by them.
There are precious few who contribute to my time. I cherish them."


-Anton Szandor LaVey




Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: Don't fight hate with hate
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2017, 10:25:40 pm »
I believe in Karma. If someone uses hate as an excuse to do evil, evil will certainly befall that someone.
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Offline Rowena_Ellenweorc

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Re: Don't fight hate with hate
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2017, 03:11:15 pm »
I believe in Karma. If someone uses hate as an excuse to do evil, evil will certainly befall that someone.

Haha me too!  And DAMN Karma is a b*tch. LOL.


As a follow up on this story, I later could not see the group on FB.  I thought it was disbanded, so I asked someone who became my friend through the group who happened to be an admin as well.  She said that she'd look into it.  Got so busy in life that I completely forgot about it for like a month.  And then at some other point the topic got brought back up, and she told me, 'Oh yeah, you got kicked for posting some questionable material.'  Excuse me?  Questionable?  The above was probably the ONLY questionable thing I posted... And that was only questionable because *gasp* I stood up to her.  So I said this to my friend, and she shrugged, and said, 'I dunno what it was.' And I replied, 'Oh well her loss. Don't need catty people in my life anyway.'

Here's the irony though.  A couple days after the comment, I was asked to be admin of the group. I turned it down, because I was not about to work with someone who was so idiotic. (I didn't say that last part. I just gave the excuse that I was busy and life was too stressful right now, which both are true).  It was only a couple days later I couldn't find the group again. HAHAHA Woman can't make up her mind!
~Ren

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-ren-losee/please-read/10155966104353223/ on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!

....

This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems

Offline HoneyStrums

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Re: Don't fight hate with hate
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2017, 05:36:31 pm »
No matter how much you have in common with a person eventually you will disagree, how you react to the disagreement will test the boundaries of your friendship. This is the same for every kind of relationship be it friendship, family work mates, and all.

This is what it means to be human. And to exist as one amongst others. 

Offline Rowena_Ellenweorc

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Re: Don't fight hate with hate
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2017, 04:21:45 am »
No matter how much you have in common with a person eventually you will disagree, how you react to the disagreement will test the boundaries of your friendship. This is the same for every kind of relationship be it friendship, family work mates, and all.

This is what it means to be human. And to exist as one amongst others. 

I love how you phrased this.  I completely agree.  I would like to think that in this situation, I handled the 'disagreement' rather nicely and she was the one in err... I can laugh about it now, all I hope is that someday, she'll figure out what happened and realize that I meant well.  Perhaps maybe I didn't say it as well as I could have, I don't know, because I'm not the greatest at expressing my thoughts and emotions, but it certainly wasn't worthy of her actions either.

Hopefully in the end though, she goes on to be a better person each and every day, and I'll continue to strive. Hopefully she'll learn to exist with people who are hateful without being so detrimental back.
~Ren

Born May 1989 - Assigned Female
October 2016 - Came out to self/online
Feb/March 2017 - Officially came out to husband
April 2017 - Realized I'm Non-Binary
June 2017 - Started Therapy
August 2017 - Came out to parents
October 2017 - modified FB profile
November 26, 2017 - Came out https://www.facebook.com/notes/karen-ren-losee/please-read/10155966104353223/ on FB

"Walking beside the guilty and the innocent
How will you raise your hand when they call your name?"
- Bon Jovi "We weren't Born to follow"

I am done crying over not being feminine.
I am done griping about being too masculine.
I will be me.
And that's a non-binary being.
I am... ME!

....

This... is MY story
The story of a girl trapped in a guy's body.
A boy trapped in a girl's body.
No.  Its the story of a... human being.
- From one of my poems

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