Author Topic: Parenting a son as a cis woman and transwoman  (Read 490 times)

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Offline JQ

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Parenting a son as a cis woman and transwoman
« on: September 28, 2017, 03:05:07 pm »
Hi everyone, its been a long time since I was here, probably 2 years or so. Since that time I married the love of my life, my husband who is preparing to live his life as a woman. We also had a son, the absolute best thing in my life!! I'm on here because I'm looking for support on raising a son with two mothers, esp when one is a trans woman. I would be stupid of me to think that raising a child is not different with two women or two men, because obviously it is. I'm just looking for any good books to read, blogs to visit, podcasts, anything. I'm looking for support. My husband (prefers to identify as such at this time) is looking at waiting 3 years before starting hormones, mostly bc I want more children. I just want help raising my son to understand what it is to be a man, of course unless he identifies otherwise. Since my husband and I won't be able to help with all areas as women, if that makes sense.
Thanks for reading!

Offline Megan.

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Re: Parenting a son as a cis woman and transwoman
« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2017, 03:12:58 pm »
Hi and welcome back. I'm MTF and my marriage didn't survive my transition  but I have two young children 5 and 3 who have been adapting to my change since May.
There is sadly very little advice out there on the best support for this. There are some children's books in Amazon pitched at different ages. I'm also a member of a couple of FB groups focused on parents who are trans*.
The one thing we did for my oldest child was to engage a 'play therapist' a few months before we told them,  so he had a safe place and a neutral person to discuss any 'worries' with.
Good luck. X

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Online Dena

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Re: Parenting a son as a cis woman and transwoman
« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2017, 05:25:35 pm »
Many single mothers have raised male children and they have turned out well. It's not so much being a man or a woman as being a human who respects others. If your sons take a special interest in something, help them however you can but it will be up to their interest to learn the rest. In my case, at a young age I developed an interest in electricity and electronics. Neither my mother or father had much knowledge of these subjects but they provided me with a few purchased items and I learned from the library and other places. Encourage their interest but exploring a subject without help often takes you to places you never knew existed.

Other than that, let your children know their father still loves them and will be there for them. As long as children understand thing will still remain much the same, they will accept what will happen.
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Offline Gertrude

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Re: Parenting a son as a cis woman and transwoman
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2017, 09:32:40 pm »
 Jennifer Finney Boylan wrote a book about parenting in two genders, stuck in the middle with you. It’s pretty good.


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Offline senterkitten

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Re: Parenting a son as a cis woman and transwoman
« Reply #4 on: September 29, 2017, 03:52:25 pm »
My husband is also MTF. We have three kids, 13 to 4.
She hasn't started hormones since we are trying for one more too, but does dress up when we go out. I don't think you really need a man to teach a child how to be a respectful young man one day. Also if you have other male role models; they can help play apart in their life too. 
Just love your kids like any other family, and do your best. :)

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