Author Topic: Wandering down gender road  (Read 1286 times)

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Offline Kendra

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Re: My Major Hurdle
« Reply #20 on: April 14, 2018, 03:41:29 pm »
> I’m going to need some electrolysis for white facial hairs.  I’d like to try low dose estrogen

My recommendation is: if you are able to, find a good electrologist and make an appointment right now.  I found the pain from electrolysis tolerable but definitely increased after I started HRT, and jumped again when the endocrinologist increased my dosage.  In hindsight I am glad I went full-tilt into electrolysis before starting estradiol. 

By placing a high priority on hair removal I avoided having to let stubble grow for electrolysis after I went full-time.  By that point I had already thrown away all my shavers - no longer needed.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, GCS-2 & BA 7/2018. 

Offline christinej78

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Re: My Major Hurdle
« Reply #21 on: April 14, 2018, 03:50:04 pm »
Another Nikki,

Don't fret about age; it's only too late when they are throwing dirt in your face. I'll be 78 in four months. Officially started my transition 6 weeks ago.

The only looking back is wishing I had done this years ago instead of living a lie for most of my life. I'm in the fourth quarter of life; I plan to spend the remainder of this quarter as a woman and hoping to go into overtime.

Best Always,
Christine
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Offline davina61

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Re: My Major Hurdle
« Reply #22 on: April 14, 2018, 04:30:01 pm »
Well I am 63 tomorrow and decided a bit over a year ago that it was now or never and I couldn't do never. Only cross dressed  on the sly till then but it was not enough, now full time and no chance of passing but don't care as I am now ME the me I should have been years ago
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Offline christinej78

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Re: My Major Hurdle
« Reply #23 on: April 15, 2018, 01:58:28 pm »
Well I am 63 tomorrow and decided a bit over a year ago that it was now or never and I couldn't do never. Only cross dressed  on the sly till then but it was not enough, now full time and no chance of passing but don't care as I am now ME the me I should have been years ago

Davina,        15 Apr 18

Well, Happy, Happy Birthday; hope you have a great one!

I lived a lie for 48 years, like you I cross dressed in private; when not CDing I always wore women's underwear. I first wanted to be a girl then a woman. Back then it was difficult to do. Now I'm a woman and there's no going back. I doubt I will ever be able to pass without surgery that would bankrupt the country. I'll do some but I'll never be able to wear a short dress, my legs are knock kneed and don't look feminine. Slacks and jeans are fine and if I don't pass, so what. It's our right to be happy and we have no obligation to live the way someone else thinks we should just because they don't approve.

I like being part of the TG community, a distinct minority. I don't want to be just another cog in the wheel of "conforming" souls, many of which are unhappy. We have a right to be who we want to be.

I'd also like to be a Bald Eagle. I have the bald part down pat, it's the wings that would be a problem.

Take care Davina. live your life the way that makes you happy,

Best always,
Christine
Veteran - US Navy                                       Arborist, rigger, climber, sawyer
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Offline blackcat

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #24 on: April 15, 2018, 06:03:41 pm »
Christine, I'm curious, would you care to elaborate more on what you said here?

Quote
I first wanted to be a girl then a woman.

Offline christinej78

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #25 on: April 15, 2018, 11:18:24 pm »
Christine, I'm curious, would you care to elaborate more on what you said here?

Blackcat,         15 Apr 18

Sure; when I was a young kid from about four or five I wanted to be a girl, when I reached adulthood I wanted to be a women; now I "are" one.

As for the Bald Eagle, it was a reference to the fact that I'm bald and a pilot.

Did I miss anything kittycat? If I did, please let me know. I have many years worth of history, about 10 different careers, made 77 orbits around the sun on a spaceship, so it might take a while to "splain" it all.

Best always kittycat,
Christine

PS:

If you had read some of my other posts you wouldn't have had to ask.
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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #26 on: April 16, 2018, 08:23:24 am »
Hello Nikki

It is so wonderful to see you have made such progress over the 6 months.

I started late (aged 62) sought therapy and now 10 weeks on HRT.

I would advice not to worry about age and agree that Electrolysis would be wise in the near future and then perhaps voice training.

I wish you well on your journey.

Pamela


Hello Blackcat and Christine

Oh Yes. For those of us that knew as a child as I did also, indeed we wish to be girl till we are about 14 and of course we wish to be a woman.

This is (for those who knew early) proof that gender identity is a completely separate matter to sexuality.

Pamela







Offline christinej78

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #27 on: April 16, 2018, 11:42:23 am »
Hello Nikki

It is so wonderful to see you have made such progress over the 6 months.
.
.
Pamela


Hello Blackcat and Christine

Oh Yes. For those of us that knew as a child as I did also, indeed we wish to be girl till we are about 14 and of course we wish to be a woman.

This is (for those who knew early) proof that gender identity is a completely separate matter to sexuality.

Pamela

Thank you Pamela,                16 Apr 2018

You validated my response.

I thought you where a young lady and now I know you are; I sure enjoy this family and site.

Best always
Christine
Veteran - US Navy                                       Arborist, rigger, climber, sawyer
Trans Woman 13 Apr 18                               LEO (Cop)
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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #28 on: April 18, 2018, 06:00:47 am »
Thank you Christine You are so sweet. I know you are a wonderful young lady also.

Needless to say, I love this site.

Pamela



Offline Another Nikki

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #29 on: September 16, 2018, 10:54:42 am »
I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff.

I’m about 3/4 done with laser facial hair removal.  No regrets and I really look forward to finishing up.  I would love to have all my body hair removed by laser but I don’t have the money.

I made an appointment and saw a Kaiser therapist.  I was super nervous but spilled my guts when she asked me why I was there.  We had a second appointment where I told her I wanted to start HRT, which brings me to the edge of the cliff.

I met with the doctor who will prescribe and manage the ‘mones.  All went well and the labs are done.  In the next week or two we should have a phone appointment, then she will put the script in.

So I feel like the depression has pretty much resolved as I keep making slow progress forward.  Gender is still ALWAYS on my mind unless I’m concentrating on something that requires immediate presence of mind.  It sucks.  I can’t imagine having gender obsessions for the rest of my life.

But then I think I must be crazy for considering upheaving my body chemistry and my physiology.  My labs looked really good.  I’m in pretty good shape, with a minimum of family health issues.  Objectively my life is going well in most areas...family, career, friends.

 And yet I’m still driven to potentially blow it all up by taking that step off the cliff....
“What you know, you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life—that there is something wrong. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me.”

Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #30 on: September 16, 2018, 12:50:42 pm »
Hi Nikki,
   I hope you are able to find a paper bag to breath into to get that breathing back to normal. You are going to be fine. Everything you write indicates that the hormones are what you seek and need. I think when we think about taking a step, even if it is right for us, our brains kick into panic mode and cause us to question. I think it is a survival thing. Actually, if you start and think it isn't right for you, you can back away. I kind of doubt that will happen, but you have the option.
   As for having gender obsessions the rest of your life, I think the hormones will help with this. It did for me for quite a while. My body dysphoria overrode this after six months. If you don't have much body dysphoria as you said, you should be in good shape. I personally have reached a point in my life where, finally, gender doesn't rule everything. So, I got ta think it is possible for you too. I hope so. Oh, and don't stop telling us what is going on, one occasional poster to another. lol
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A

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Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #31 on: September 16, 2018, 02:48:32 pm »
Gender is still ALWAYS on my mind unless I’m concentrating on something that requires immediate presence of mind.  It sucks.  I can’t imagine having gender obsessions for the rest of my life.

Nikki, what you describe is like being in a burning airplane.  If you are in a burning airplane, the smart thing to do is to check your parachute and then take that long step out the door.

Relax, you will be fine.  Far from messing with your body chemistry, you will be fixing it.  Many of us have been exactly where you are right now.  Chances are that HRT will be the best thing that ever happened to you.  If not, you can always stop taking them.

I am rapidly forgetting what it was like to obsess about gender all the time.  Now, I just love being myself, and that doesn't get old. 

Come on in; the water is fine!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline krobinson103

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #32 on: September 16, 2018, 11:03:49 pm »
Hello Nikki

It is so wonderful to see you have made such progress over the 6 months.

I started late (aged 62) sought therapy and now 10 weeks on HRT.

I would advice not to worry about age and agree that Electrolysis would be wise in the near future and then perhaps voice training.

I wish you well on your journey.

Pamela


Hello Blackcat and Christine

Oh Yes. For those of us that knew as a child as I did also, indeed we wish to be girl till we are about 14 and of course we wish to be a woman.

This is (for those who knew early) proof that gender identity is a completely separate matter to sexuality.

Pamela

I knew what I needed to do when I was 13. That was 30 years ago. A year into transition all I can say is.. I should have listened to me! But thats ok because I still have the other half of my life to make up for it. Yes... gender identity has nothing to do with sexual preference. Transitioning made zero difference to the fact that I'm bi... :)
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.

Offline HappyMoni

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Re: Wandering down gender road
« Reply #33 on: September 17, 2018, 06:31:51 pm »
I knew what I needed to do when I was 13. That was 30 years ago. A year into transition all I can say is.. I should have listened to me! But thats ok because I still have the other half of my life to make up for it. Yes... gender identity has nothing to do with sexual preference. Transitioning made zero difference to the fact that I'm bi... :)

For some this is true about sexual preference. I can say that this is not true for all.
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A

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