Author Topic: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)  (Read 16280 times)

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Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #340 on: February 20, 2019, 06:47:51 am »
So, a quick update: Nails still strong (thank you Progesterone I guess). Boobs still growing, I feel they look huge when I'm naked and I love it. Hips are a bit larger.

Congratulations. That's how this thread started with your boobs growing and I am delighted to see that continues along with the good news on your nails and hips!

Hugs

Pamela 



Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #341 on: February 20, 2019, 07:44:10 am »
Congratulations. That's how this thread started with your boobs growing and I am delighted to see that continues along with the good news on your nails and hips!

Hugs

Pamela

Thanks Pamela. I do want to avoid blowing things out of proportion, so let me clarify: My hips are overall still small and pretty much non existent in comparison to the rest of my body and in comparison to cis females. I've always said MTF HRT is a big joke and after a year and a half I still think so.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Jessica

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #342 on: February 20, 2019, 09:57:39 am »
@Charlie Nicki

So, a quick update: Nails still strong (thank you Progesterone I guess). Boobs still growing, I feel they look huge when I'm naked and I love it. Hips are a bit larger. That being said, I'm still far away from my goal... my proportions are still a bit too masculine for my taste, arms and back are still too big in comparison to my lower body so it's a bit annoying. If only my arms and shoulders could get smaller I would already look so much girlier...

Still get misgendered sometimes, I would say correctly gendered 7/10, people either avoiding gendering me or staring at me trying to figure me out 2/10, and misgendered 1/10. Even though it's not common, when I do get misgendered it BURNS!

My hair is below my shoulders and I need it longer but if it was up to me I would get a pixie cut and get it over with. Long hair is a pain in the ass and so not practical. But I like looking pretty and sadly my appearance isn't feminine enough for me to get a super short haircut without getting misgendered...If anything the fact alone that I could be able to rock short hair makes me want to consider FFS.

I have seen a recent picture of you and your hair looks wonderful.  I do agree though that long hair can be a pain and a pixie would look cute on you, ffs or not.
I am confident that you will reach 100% passable and the days of being misgendered will be a distant memory.  Ffs has helped many here, (I’ve seen the proof) and if you feel that is the route you need, I’m certain you will be stunning.  Much more than the old lady that I am the vision of.

Thanks Pamela. I do want to avoid blowing things out of proportion, so let me clarify: My hips are overall still small and pretty much non existent in comparison to the rest of my body and in comparison to cis females. I've always said MTF HRT is a big joke and after a year and a half I still think so.

As with everyone here, hrt is a ymmv situation.  We both started it in essence the same day around a year and a half ago.  While your genetics played a factor in your progress, it also has in mine (thank you mom).  Everyone is different, but no less in how we strive to be our true selves.

Love you sister, Jess

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #343 on: February 21, 2019, 01:57:34 pm »
@Charlie Nicki

I have seen a recent picture of you and your hair looks wonderful.  I do agree though that long hair can be a pain and a pixie would look cute on you, ffs or not.
I am confident that you will reach 100% passable and the days of being misgendered will be a distant memory.  Ffs has helped many here, (I’ve seen the proof) and if you feel that is the route you need, I’m certain you will be stunning.  Much more than the old lady that I am the vision of.

As with everyone here, hrt is a ymmv situation.  We both started it in essence the same day around a year and a half ago.  While your genetics played a factor in your progress, it also has in mine (thank you mom).  Everyone is different, but no less in how we strive to be our true selves.

Love you sister, Jess

Love you too sweetie!!
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Lexi B

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #344 on: February 22, 2019, 12:27:40 am »


  Oh, and just remember........Women come in many different shapes, sizes, and levels of attractiveness.  Anytime you don't feel confident about yourself, just remember that.  That you ARE without a doubt, a woman, and therefore are entitled to dress and present as one even if you feel like you might not look quite right.  I struggle with this one myself.  I still present as a rather femme dressing man because I allow my fear of what people will think of me, to keep me from wearing the skirts and dresses that I would love to wear.  So I keep telling myself, "You are a woman....a kind of ugly woman....but there are plenty of ugly women out there, yet they are still women, and so are you."  And it boosts my confidence up for a bit.  Ha ha  For now I am somewhat content wearing my tight skinny jeans and girls shirts and carrying my purse and things, but having been on HRT for over 3 months now, and having my boobs getting bigger, and me not even going to bother trying to hide them, I may find myself going "full-time" here soon.

Wonderful advice from the heart! But you’ve got one thing wrong— you are NOT ugly. At all. There are so many “ugly” people in the world. Don’t count yourself among them. Your inner beauty shines. And if your avatar is you, you’re pretty cute too. :)
Gender fluid. Pansexual. And finally beginning to understand and embrace me.

Offline Allison S

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #345 on: February 22, 2019, 07:22:05 am »
This has to be the easiest transition thread to follow lol I've grown to love your personality Charlie Nicki 

I wish there was a "how to pass for dummies" that I could follow but sadly I haven't found one yet

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk

« Last Edit: February 22, 2019, 02:02:43 pm by Jessica »

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #346 on: February 23, 2019, 05:05:40 am »
This has to be the easiest transition thread to follow lol I've grown to love your personality Charlie Nicki 

I wish there was a "how to pass for dummies" that I could follow but sadly I haven't found one yet

Sent from my VS501 using Tapatalk
Thanks baby! You're so sweet. I'm glad to have you as a friend! We are similar in so many ways.

And well passing is a difficult thing. Not many of us achieve that easily, I'm still struggling with that as well.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #347 on: March 14, 2019, 10:36:07 am »
I've been having very rough days lately. I've been depressed, having suicidal thoughts, and wondering if this is all worth it. It was triggered by my ex, we had a trip planned for a while with some friends and I was sure I could make it without feeling bad...But we spent way too much time together and it clouded my judgement. Brought back feelings and memories as if we had just broken up (in reality he left me a year and a half ago because of my transition).

I feel hurt and abandoned again, it's especially difficult to see how happy he is with his new partner. After the trip I've decided to keep my distance again, it's the best thing for my mental health but I still feel very sad. I don't feel like doing my makeup, or my hair, or even getting out of bed...Being a woman feels like a huge chore lately. So much maintenance and work...sometimes I miss the simplicity of being a man. I'm not gonna detransition, that is not an option for me, but I'm just venting here.

I just wish this would be over, I've been depressed pretty much all of my transition, so for the past 2 years mostly. I still haven't reached that point of bliss and satisfaction where I can say it was all worth it. My mental health is still a rollercoaster and I'm tired of it.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #348 on: March 14, 2019, 11:18:48 am »
@Charlie Nicki
Dear Charlie Nicki:
My oh my!!!  
I am so very sad to hear of your distress regarding your transition event and life endeavors.

You do not have to do much reading of other members postings and threads to see that you are not alone with the trials and tribulations of transitioning.   It can be a tough road to travel for sure but it also can be a necessary journey that we must take for our own self-worth and self-affirmation.

I hear you loud and clear about the morning and daily task of presenting as a woman.... indeed there is "so much maintenance and work" ....  and the clothes,  as many man can get away with, women just can't throw on my pants and shirt that were left laying on the floor, quickly run a comb through their hair and be out the door.... 
....BUT, as a woman, when done with a little primping, dressing and grooming...  it is so very satisfying to look in the mirror and see a half-way decent looking blue eyed blonde woman looking back at me....    VERY WELL WORTH THE EFFORT and the JOURNEY,

I wish I could, but I can not offer much in the way of magic words to make everything OK for you.
It is your journey to navigate as you see fit and because of your personal relationships and life-commitments it is obviously your decision as to how to proceed.

Please keep on keeping on, pull yourself up and get back in the groove of being the woman you have determined that  you are destined to be.
I will be eagerly looking for you updates,  I am rooting for your success, and I along with all of your followers are your biggest fans.
HUGS and more HUGS......
Danielle



Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #349 on: March 14, 2019, 11:40:49 am »
@Charlie Nicki
Dear Charlie Nicki:
My oh my!!!  
I am so very sad to hear of your distress regarding your transition event and life endeavors.

You do not have to do much reading of other members postings and threads to see that you are not alone with the trials and tribulations of transitioning.   It can be a tough road to travel for sure but it also can be a necessary journey that we must take for our own self-worth and self-affirmation.

I hear you loud and clear about the morning and daily task of presenting as a woman.... indeed there is "so much maintenance and work" ....  and the clothes,  as many man can get away with, women just can't throw on my pants and shirt that were left laying on the floor, quickly run a comb through their hair and be out the door.... 
....BUT, as a woman, when done with a little primping, dressing and grooming...  it is so very satisfying to look in the mirror and see a half-way decent looking blue eyed blonde woman looking back at me....    VERY WELL WORTH THE EFFORT and the JOURNEY,

I wish I could, but I can not offer much in the way of magic words to make everything OK for you.
It is your journey to navigate as you see fit and because of your personal relationships and life-commitments it is obviously your decision as to how to proceed.

Please keep on keeping on, pull yourself up and get back in the groove of being the woman you have determined that  you are destined to be.
I will be eagerly looking for you updates,  I am rooting for your success, and I along with all of your followers are your biggest fans.
HUGS and more HUGS......
Danielle


Thanks Danielle. You always have a positive attitude and I admire that...It does help me a lot to see that other people are struggling too, just because it makes me realize that this is a normal part of transitioning and that we all go through it, it would be nice to know more about your negative experiences as well. Maybe they're on your thread and I've missed them.

In any case, it does feel like life was a little bit unfair to us because we were given this burden that most people don't have.

Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #350 on: March 14, 2019, 02:05:13 pm »
Thanks Danielle. You always have a positive attitude and I admire that...It does help me a lot to see that other people are struggling too, just because it makes me realize that this is a normal part of transitioning and that we all go through it, it would be nice to know more about your negative experiences as well. Maybe they're on your thread and I've missed them.

In any case, it does feel like life was a little bit unfair to us because we were given this burden that most people don't have.

@Charlie Nicki
Dear Charlie Nicki:
Thanks for your kind response...
         
A quote that I have memorized that helps me in that regard comes from Winston Churchill as he penned the following quote during England's dark days during World War 2.
       "A Pessimist see Difficulty in every Opportunity,
           an Optimist sees Opportunity in every Difficulty"


I am not immune to difficulties with my transition life experiences and certainly have my current problems with acceptance for my family and old friends "back home"
My TWO personal threads have just about all of the details of my bad and my good experiences.  To make it easier for you I have included LINKS below to my present current ongoing "Chronicles" thread and also to my previous "Hunted Prey" thread.   
I have also attached LINKS to a few older postings that my shed some light on some of my not-so-good experiences.....   but that way that I am wired, I do not dwell on the negative, my glass is half full and I am always trying to keep a positive attitude about my life.

            "A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles"

            "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"

        (non-acceptance back home)
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2208291.html#msg2208291

        (brief recap of my journey)
   
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243696.msg2218365.html#msg2218365

        (stressful moments)             
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2180936.html#msg2180936

Also you might want to take a quick read one other of my threads that might help you to stay positive:
           "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"

Best wishes to you... I sincerely hope and trust that anything that I have said may be of help to you... 
...and please feel free to comment anytime on any of my postings or you can PM me if you ever have any questions about my journey.

Hugs and best wishes as always....
Danielle

« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 05:18:55 pm by Alaskan Danielle »

Offline Rachel

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #351 on: March 14, 2019, 06:28:02 pm »
Hi,

I know for me the first three years was the roughest part of transition. I have been transitioning for six years. My ex and I divorced, I came out at work, expressed, had a bunch of procedures and GCS.

I am so much better off now than I was before. Everyone is different and we all transition differently, so your transition could be much more rough than mine. I do know that for a long time I had my procedures on my preferences on Susan's and when I felt bad I would go over the procedures and what I accomplished.  So maybe making a list of accomplishments or milestones and reading it when you are down would help.

If depression is bad and you are having suicidal ideation or attempts then please consider seeing your doctor. I was on a SSRI for about a year and it helped heaps. It really helped me from getting super low. When I developed coping mechanisms to deal with the loneliness and loss of family I was able to get off the SSRI.

I had some awesome times with my ex and will forever be grateful for the experiences. We are much better off being divorced. Life is about change. When I was in the middle of such huge change I needed help coping. I had groups, the gym, my trainer, work and my therapist and doctor. I had a team of people to get me through it.

I do things by myself now. I am looking forward to the beach this spring :) I love the gym and rucking. I hope to start back up rucking this weekend. There is a huge trans meetup in New Hope this weekend Friday and Saturday night. There are things to do, you need to find them and participate. It is tough but fun.

Offline krobinson103

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #352 on: March 14, 2019, 07:09:14 pm »
To me being trans isn't a burden its a gift. It just depends on how you look at it. Sure, its hard and we deal we a lot of crap, but the pay off at the end is worth ten times the problems on the way. Just a matter of one step at a time till you get there and don't let the problems get you down!
Every day is a totally awesome day
Every day provides opportunities and challenges
Every challenge leads to an opportunity
Every fear faced leads to one more strength
Every strength leads to greater success
Success leads to self esteem
Self Esteem leads to happiness.
Cherish every day.

Offline natalie.ashlyne

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #353 on: March 15, 2019, 05:06:06 am »
I am so sorry you are going through this, I know it is hard and is unfair, emotions are so big I am going through some thing similar so you are not alone in this. The girl I work with almost side by side and dailly and is my secretary of the union, well we fell in love 10 plus years ago. Now at the end of may we will be both going to a union conference where we will be staying at the same hotel and stuff. When I transitioned she told me that she was not attracted to females, The problem is that I am still so much in love with her it kills me every day to know I am not with her. I feel the same way you do on my days off I feel lazy and don't want to do anything. All I can say is take it one day at a time emotions are hard to change but in time I believe time heals all wounds. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me. You are a strong beautiful woman you can get through this.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #354 on: March 18, 2019, 09:18:30 am »
@Charlie Nicki
Dear Charlie Nicki:
Thanks for your kind response...
         
A quote that I have memorized that helps me in that regard comes from Winston Churchill as he penned the following quote during England's dark days during World War 2.
       "A Pessimist see Difficulty in every Opportunity,
           an Optimist sees Opportunity in every Difficulty"


I am not immune to difficulties with my transition life experiences and certainly have my current problems with acceptance for my family and old friends "back home"
My TWO personal threads have just about all of the details of my bad and my good experiences.  To make it easier for you I have included LINKS below to my present current ongoing "Chronicles" thread and also to my previous "Hunted Prey" thread.   
I have also attached LINKS to a few older postings that my shed some light on some of my not-so-good experiences.....   but that way that I am wired, I do not dwell on the negative, my glass is half full and I am always trying to keep a positive attitude about my life.

            "A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles"

            "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"

        (non-acceptance back home)
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2208291.html#msg2208291

        (brief recap of my journey)
   
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243696.msg2218365.html#msg2218365

        (stressful moments)             
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2180936.html#msg2180936

Also you might want to take a quick read one other of my threads that might help you to stay positive:
           "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"

Best wishes to you... I sincerely hope and trust that anything that I have said may be of help to you... 
...and please feel free to comment anytime on any of my postings or you can PM me if you ever have any questions about my journey.

Hugs and best wishes as always....
Danielle


Thanks Danielle!
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #355 on: March 18, 2019, 09:44:12 am »
Hi,

I know for me the first three years was the roughest part of transition. I have been transitioning for six years. My ex and I divorced, I came out at work, expressed, had a bunch of procedures and GCS.

I am so much better off now than I was before. Everyone is different and we all transition differently, so your transition could be much more rough than mine. I do know that for a long time I had my procedures on my preferences on Susan's and when I felt bad I would go over the procedures and what I accomplished.  So maybe making a list of accomplishments or milestones and reading it when you are down would help.

If depression is bad and you are having suicidal ideation or attempts then please consider seeing your doctor. I was on a SSRI for about a year and it helped heaps. It really helped me from getting super low. When I developed coping mechanisms to deal with the loneliness and loss of family I was able to get off the SSRI.

I had some awesome times with my ex and will forever be grateful for the experiences. We are much better off being divorced. Life is about change. When I was in the middle of such huge change I needed help coping. I had groups, the gym, my trainer, work and my therapist and doctor. I had a team of people to get me through it.

I do things by myself now. I am looking forward to the beach this spring :) I love the gym and rucking. I hope to start back up rucking this weekend. There is a huge trans meetup in New Hope this weekend Friday and Saturday night. There are things to do, you need to find them and participate. It is tough but fun.

Hi Rachel,

Thank you for your answer. So would you say all the hard times were worth it? I've only been transitioning for 2 years so it does give me a bit of hope to see that it's normal for the first few years to be tough, sometimes I'm scared it will always be like this so it was definitely a relief to read this comment.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #356 on: March 18, 2019, 09:56:16 am »
To me being trans isn't a burden its a gift. It just depends on how you look at it. Sure, its hard and we deal we a lot of crap, but the pay off at the end is worth ten times the problems on the way. Just a matter of one step at a time till you get there and don't let the problems get you down!

Well I really hope this is the case for me.
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #357 on: March 18, 2019, 09:57:10 am »
I am so sorry you are going through this, I know it is hard and is unfair, emotions are so big I am going through some thing similar so you are not alone in this. The girl I work with almost side by side and dailly and is my secretary of the union, well we fell in love 10 plus years ago. Now at the end of may we will be both going to a union conference where we will be staying at the same hotel and stuff. When I transitioned she told me that she was not attracted to females, The problem is that I am still so much in love with her it kills me every day to know I am not with her. I feel the same way you do on my days off I feel lazy and don't want to do anything. All I can say is take it one day at a time emotions are hard to change but in time I believe time heals all wounds. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me. You are a strong beautiful woman you can get through this.

Thanks Natalie!
Latina :) I speak Spanish, English and a bit of Portuguese.

Offline NatalieRene

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Re: My boobs are growing!! (Charlie Nicki's Diary)
« Reply #358 on: March 18, 2019, 10:17:29 am »
@Charlie Nicki
Dear Charlie Nicki:
Thanks for your kind response...
         
A quote that I have memorized that helps me in that regard comes from Winston Churchill as he penned the following quote during England's dark days during World War 2.
       "A Pessimist see Difficulty in every Opportunity,
           an Optimist sees Opportunity in every Difficulty"


I am not immune to difficulties with my transition life experiences and certainly have my current problems with acceptance for my family and old friends "back home"
My TWO personal threads have just about all of the details of my bad and my good experiences.  To make it easier for you I have included LINKS below to my present current ongoing "Chronicles" thread and also to my previous "Hunted Prey" thread.   
I have also attached LINKS to a few older postings that my shed some light on some of my not-so-good experiences.....   but that way that I am wired, I do not dwell on the negative, my glass is half full and I am always trying to keep a positive attitude about my life.

            "A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles"

            "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"

        (non-acceptance back home)
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2208291.html#msg2208291

        (brief recap of my journey)
   
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243696.msg2218365.html#msg2218365

        (stressful moments)             
   https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.msg2180936.html#msg2180936

Also you might want to take a quick read one other of my threads that might help you to stay positive:
           "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"

Best wishes to you... I sincerely hope and trust that anything that I have said may be of help to you... 
...and please feel free to comment anytime on any of my postings or you can PM me if you ever have any questions about my journey.

Hugs and best wishes as always....
Danielle


That quote is so true for everything. Losing weight is hard. Programming is hard. Sports are hard. Life is hard.

Things worth anything are hard and they are opportunity to excel. What will serve us all best is a posative outlook.

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