Author Topic: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne  (Read 8352 times)

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Offline Kendra

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #300 on: January 03, 2018, 03:06:54 pm »
I have never noticed any such side effect from HRT but my prescription is Estradiol only, no spiro.  Taken with a grain of salt.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, BA 7/2018. 

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #301 on: January 03, 2018, 03:34:05 pm »
Spiro as an anti-androgen is an off-label use.  The intended use is to lower blood pressure.  It does it very effectively, by making you pee a lot.  My blood pressure went down to 90/65 at one checkup, scaring my doctor!  I just have to make sure I drink lots of water.  Like, more than I already was!

Also, don't stand up fast.  Take your time getting up from a chair or bed.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline Sno

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #302 on: January 03, 2018, 03:38:48 pm »
Hmm, thanks for the warning Kathy, my last check up pegged my bp at 110/70... and no I’m not on spiro...  :o

Rowan

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #303 on: January 03, 2018, 04:00:08 pm »
It hasn’t made me pee a lot. Except for wanting to pee once soon after taking the spiro, I don’t think I pee any more than I used to.



Offline Faith

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #304 on: January 03, 2018, 04:01:39 pm »
It hasn’t made me pee a lot. Except for wanting to pee once soon after taking the spiro, I don’t think I pee any more than I used to.

retaining it ... hmm ... does that mean that you're full of piss?
Aug 2017 - After Years of General Depression, I started to figure out the why.
Sept 2017 - Lots of online research to educate myself, Susans kept popping up
Oct 2017 - Changed my diet to improve my health and aid in the direction I wanted to go. At the same time, I informed my wife of my suspicions so we could work it out together.
Oct 25th 2017 - Officially made an account On Susans to introduce myself - namelessly
Nov 11 2017 - Found out my True Name, Faith Nicole - thanks Devlyn!
Dec 23 2017 - Officially, verbally, admitted to myself and my Wife about being Transgender
Dec 26 2017 - First trip to Therapy .. who needs therapy ? ? ? ? ? ?
2018 - where will I go from here .......

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #305 on: January 03, 2018, 04:02:21 pm »
I guess that’s better than being full of something else



Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #306 on: January 03, 2018, 04:29:05 pm »
It hasn’t made me pee a lot. Except for wanting to pee once soon after taking the spiro, I don’t think I pee any more than I used to.
That means you aren't drinking enough water.  I can slow down the pee rate by just not drinking, something that is useful if I am going to be where bathroom breaks are inconvenient.  But it makes you dehydrated.  And that's when you'll get dizzy from low blood pressure.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #307 on: January 03, 2018, 05:04:32 pm »
That means you aren't drinking enough water.  I can slow down the pee rate by just not drinking, something that is useful if I am going to be where bathroom breaks are inconvenient.  But it makes you dehydrated.  And that's when you'll get dizzy from low blood pressure.
I don’t feel dehydrated. I still have plenty of pee breaks. My wife actually calls me mini bladder . It just doesn’t seem like I’m peeing any more than before. I’m probably still not drinking enough water, though. I need to change that habit and start drinking more.

This morning I had actually drunk more water than usual before leaving home for work. And my dizzy spell started after I parked my car while still sitting inside. I was a little early so I reached for my phone to catch up on the forum and that’s when it hit me. I was quite dizzy initially and then it faded away over the next hour. I feel fine now.

I will definitely bring it up with my endocrinologist on the 15th. I also see my GP on the 10th for a follow up on a recent work injury. I might get her to check my blood pressure while I’m there.



Offline Laurie

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #308 on: January 03, 2018, 06:11:53 pm »
 Hi Jayne,

  Do make sure to talk to your doctors about the dizzy spell. It took far to long to get over yours it it was BP related unless it stayed low because you were severely dehydrated. I have to take it easy and slow getting up from a prone position all the time as I do get dizzy from BP. 90/60 would have been a higher reading for me before I began taking Benadryl. When I began taking spiro regularly my BP took a plunge. My BP would at time get down into the lower 70s over upper 40s and low 50s like 74/49. Taking benadryl has brought it back up into the 100s over 60s. This morning it was 102/65.
  I can get dizzy enough to have my vision go black for a second or two but it only last maybe 30 seconds or so. Lasting as long as yours did is something to be concerned about. An inner ear problem can cause it to be long.

   Hugs,
     Laurie
Hi, I'm Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #309 on: January 03, 2018, 06:19:26 pm »
Thanks Laurie. Good to know. My vision hasn’t blacked out, but it take me a few seconds to stabilise myself. Come to think of it, I had a similar occurrence a few months ago. I was jet lagged after being on a long flight a couple days prior, then I had a 3 hour electrolysis session. When I got up after the 3 hours, I almost fell over and had to sit for a few minutes. The whole world was spinning. I put it down to tiredness from jet lag at the time. Now I am a little concerned. This is high on my list for the Dr next week.



Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #310 on: January 03, 2018, 07:41:45 pm »
A short time ago I was thinking that being trans doesn’t mean that having “male” interests is not allowed. Hobbies and interests don’t define a person’s gender (a concept that I have for some reason been struggling with lately). As soon as the thought passed through my mind, as if right on cue, Google Photos decided to send me a message asking me what I was doing 5 years ago on 4 January 2013. I clicked on the link and there was a photo of me in my 4wd tackling some rough terrain in the bush somewhere. I had my usual super short buzz cut hair and a big smile on my face. The instant I saw that photo I felt a sudden urge to smash my phone into the concrete and have a meltdown. Luckily I am now in control of such emotions and my phone still lives. Why can’t I be the happy guy in the photo.

I don’t dislike male me. I even like male me sometimes (or is it ‘ME’ I like without a male or female gender marker?). Living in this male body is becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. Male or female, I am still the same “me”, right? Why is this causing so much mental turmoil?

And to top it off, I just departed a plane. I plugged my headset into the front of the aircraft to talk to the pilots. The intercom system feeds back my own voice into the ear piece so I can hear myself speak. I often try to see how feminine I can make myself sound (and to mess with the pilots). I am not even close to sounding like a female, but this pilot called me “mate” at least 5 times in less than 2 minutes. It was driving me crazy! Grrrrr!!!!!

It started to put me in a foul mood, but life goes forward not backward. I should be grateful that I did have some happy moments in my past and that it wasn’t all misery. I need to look forward and ensure I am still able to function and enjoy the rest of my life. Right now it seems that Jayne has a better chance of doing that than John.

End rant!
Jayne



Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #311 on: January 03, 2018, 09:04:57 pm »
Today is going from bad to worse. I should have gone back home after my dizzy spell this morning because I swear I work with a bunch of morons.

I was eating my lunch at work and the tv was showing cricket news (I don’t know how the most boring sport in the world can have any news to tell, but anyway...) Catherine McGregor is one of the cricket commentators on this tv channel. For those who don’t know, she was the highest ranking woman in the Australian military after she transitioned. She retired from the military and she is now a journalist for the cricket, amongst other things. I thought she looked amazing on tv and if I didn’t know who she was, would have no idea she was transgender. Well, my “lovely” colleagues started to show their true colours. Someone said that “he” is a bloke and then the red neck idiotic comments against her, and trans people in general, started flying around the room. I tried to remain calm and ignore them until I finished my lunch. Inside, my blood started to boil. I cannot tolerate hearing people ridicule other people, trans or otherwise. I recently almost accidentally publicly outed myself at work under these exact same circumstances. To the point where I felt it necessary to actually come out to my supervisor to prevent any rumours from spreading about me. So today I just kept my mouth shut while inside I was enraged. After I finished my lunch and stood to walk out, the comments were still flying, I managed to say in a calm voice (with venom in my eyes) that “it must be nice living your perfect lives without knowing what other people go through”. I walked out the room and sat in front of a computer to finish up some work, physically shaking. I still believe that these people are a minority and most would not condone that kind of behaviour. I honestly cannot wait until I tell these simple minded Neanderthals straight to their face that I am transgender and identify as a woman. I can watch their jaw drop and the drool run down their dumbass faces. I am highly respected by everyone for my work skills, and I’m a pretty easy going “guy”, so I am certain I will leave these fools speechless. Maybe I should have a full professional makeover and make myself look real pretty and then come out to them. There is steam coming out of my ears and my blood is like lava thinking about what garbage can actually come out of some people’s mouths. It makes me wonder if there is actually a functioning brain inside their heads that is capable of any thoughts other than eat, sex, scratch, sex, drool, sex, eat.......

End of another rant

Jayne



Offline Steph2.0

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Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #312 on: January 03, 2018, 09:27:44 pm »
A short time ago I was thinking that being trans doesn’t mean that having “male” interests is not allowed. Hobbies and interests don’t define a person’s gender (a concept that I have for some reason been struggling with lately). As soon as the thought passed through my mind, as if right on cue, Google Photos decided to send me a message asking me what I was doing 5 years ago on 4 January 2013. I clicked on the link and there was a photo of me in my 4wd tackling some rough terrain in the bush somewhere. I had my usual super short buzz cut hair and a big smile on my face. The instant I saw that photo I felt a sudden urge to smash my phone into the concrete and have a meltdown. Luckily I am now in control of such emotions and my phone still lives. Why can’t I be the happy guy in the photo.

I don’t dislike male me. I even like male me sometimes (or is it ‘ME’ I like without a male or female gender marker?). Living in this male body is becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. Male or female, I am still the same “me”, right? Why is this causing so much mental turmoil?

And to top it off, I just departed a plane. I plugged my headset into the front of the aircraft to talk to the pilots. The intercom system feeds back my own voice into the ear piece so I can hear myself speak. I often try to see how feminine I can make myself sound (and to mess with the pilots). I am not even close to sounding like a female, but this pilot called me “mate” at least 5 times in less than 2 minutes. It was driving me crazy! Grrrrr!!!!!

It started to put me in a foul mood, but life goes forward not backward. I should be grateful that I did have some happy moments in my past and that it wasn’t all misery. I need to look forward and ensure I am still able to function and enjoy the rest of my life. Right now it seems that Jayne has a better chance of doing that than John.

End rant!
Jayne

Jayne,

I also had some good times in the past. I managed to make some good friends and have some fun with them. I fell in love with a good woman, and we had enough fun together that she stuck with me. But underlying it all, always, was the dissatisfaction of suppressing something very basic and fundamental. It colored every interaction, every activity, with the knowledge that I wasn’t allowing myself to be everything I knew I could be. It’s an overused term, but I wasn’t authentic. It made me skeptical, cynical, sarcastic, and even sometimes mean.

 Now that I’ve addressed the problem I don’t have an issue with looking back at the times I had fun. They were as good as I could make them within the limitations I imposed on myself. And no matter how much fun I had in public, when I could finally be alone, I let myself be complete for a little while. It was enough for a while, but I kept learning more about myself until 50 years of growing self-knowledge made it impossible to keep the genie in the bottle any more.

So just because you had some fun back then shouldn’t be taken to mean you’re making any kind of mistake now. Always ask yourself if you’d be happier by going back, and the answer will be evident.

We all believe in you. You should, too.


 - Stephanie
« Last Edit: January 04, 2018, 06:53:25 am by Steph2.0 »


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * NAME CHANGE 12/11/2017

Offline Kendra

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #313 on: January 03, 2018, 09:39:03 pm »
The lunchroom comments made by your co-workers were idiotic, but I’m not 100% certain the same people will reject you or even be shocked when you come out as transgender.  Although it’s wrong, many people are in the habit of treating publicly known individuals as an abstract concept and not as human beings.  If they weren’t calling a transgender lady a bloke they might be calling her a prima donna, a fake journalist or anything negative they can fabricate.  The words they spew are painful to hear but in the long run it’s their loss. 

As for hobbies you won’t pry my fingers away from working on cars or remodeling houses in my spare time, although HRT did slow down a few things - I can no longer lift two sheets of wallboard at once.  And there are women out there who run 4wd trucks in the mud just fine.
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, BA 7/2018. 

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #314 on: January 03, 2018, 10:02:10 pm »

We all believe in you. You should, too.

 - Stephanie
Steph, you are such a good friend. Even while stuck on top of the fridge you find a way to come to my rescue. Sorry, I couldn’t resist!

Seriously, everything you said makes perfect sense and I can relate to it. I am even starting to believe it in my heart.

Thank you for believing in me. I do believe in myself too.......kinda, sort of. I am at the stage now where the doubts still come along frequently, but I am able to mostly catch on and before they turn into a full blown meltdown. I am in the twisty, turny part of the roller coaster ride where I go from ups to downs at regular intervals.

Jayne



Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #315 on: January 03, 2018, 10:20:42 pm »
The lunchroom comments made by your co-workers were idiotic, but I’m not 100% certain the same people will reject you or even be shocked when you come out as transgender.  Although it’s wrong, many people are in the habit of treating publicly known individuals as an abstract concept and not as human beings.  If they weren’t calling a transgender lady a bloke they might be calling her a prima donna, a fake journalist or anything negative they can fabricate.  The words they spew are painful to hear but in the long run it’s their loss. 
Only a few minutes ago, one of the guys making these comments in the lunch room bumped into me in one of the small office buildings we have at each gate on the tarmac. He actually apologised for offending me. It seems I have earned more respect over the years as a person than I first thought. He confessed to me that he previously worked with someone who transitioned at work (before I started working here). He first used male pronouns as he told me the story but quickly caught himself and switched to female pronouns. He told me that she was one of the nicest people he knew and that he was able to talk more openly with her about personal stuff than with other people at work. He regretted falling into the group mentality earlier in the lunch room. I told him I knew a little about Catherine McGregor from articles I have read. When I told him how much she has accomplished in her life, he was very impressed. He admitted that she was actually quite a good journalist and knew a lot about what she was commentating on. I previously had a big question mark of this guy but now I believe he will be no problem at all, maybe even an ally.

I used to keep my mouth shut when I saw injustices happening. I can no longer do that. I have to say something. How else can the ignorant be educated. I have educated at least one person at work today, that is one less person I need to worry about. So something good has come from this event.

Quote
As for hobbies you won’t pry my fingers away from working on cars or remodeling houses in my spare time, although HRT did slow down a few things - I can no longer lift two sheets of wallboard at once.  And there are women out there who run 4wd trucks in the mud just fine.
That is the point I was trying to make. What we do doesn’t define us as man or woman. I understand that and believe it to be true. There is some residual social conditioning that I still need to eradicate where I sometimes here a voice saying I must be a guy because I like doing a certain activity.

By the way, are you interested in coming over to remodel my house? Free food and accomodation!

Jayne



Offline Laurie

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #316 on: January 03, 2018, 10:50:25 pm »
 Well I see Jayne that you have gotten this  little issue all sorted out thank to that guy at work, Stephanie and Kendra. Not I have nothing to say except good job on the rebound. You managed that better than you would have before. And that my dear is called Progress!

Hugs,
   Laurie

 Glad I didn't need to slap you again
Hi, I'm Laurie
“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol




Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #317 on: January 03, 2018, 10:56:49 pm »
Glad I didn't need to slap you again
Save your slaps for when I exhibit a special kind of stupid. I’ve done it before, I’m sure I can do it again!

Jayne



Offline Kendra

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #318 on: January 03, 2018, 11:24:00 pm »
> By the way, are you interested in coming over to remodel my house? Free food and accomodation!

If you cook anything like Davina I am tempted ;) but... too many things going on right now, including a series of remodeling projects on me for the next half year (surgery). 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, BA 7/2018. 

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #319 on: January 03, 2018, 11:39:29 pm »
Hmmmmm? I don’t know how Davina cooks, I know I’m not very good at it. But I can order a pizza online like you wouldn’t believe!!!



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