Author Topic: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne  (Read 21306 times)

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Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #720 on: April 21, 2018, 04:27:36 pm »
I’m not expecting that to happen anytime soon. It seems so far away into the future that I can’t even see it in my imagination.

Jayne


Dear Jayne,
That day will come .... patience and time... and hormones!!!
Please continue to keep us updated... and when you feel comfortable doing so, picture would be great to see... but only when you feel comfortable!!!
Hugs,
Danielle
Started HRT March 2015     3+ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016
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I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
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Online Jayne01

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Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #721 on: April 21, 2018, 04:48:09 pm »
Thank you Danielle,

Patience is starting wear thin. Hormones are working and doing a better job than I expected so far. It’s only been about 7 1/2 months since getting on a full dose of HRT. It’s given me hope of a pleasing outcome. My problem is that I am still in full time male mode. I feel like I am so far behind in my abilities to integrate into society. I have no idea where or how to begin. I have no one that could teach me. I’m not out to anyone other than my wife and one person at work. And most importantly, my wife is not ready to see Jayne so I have to keep her buried. It feels like a very slow and painful journey.

Jayne



Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #722 on: April 21, 2018, 05:04:11 pm »
Thank you Danielle,

Patience is starting wear thin. Hormones are working and doing a better job than I expected so far. It’s only been about 7 1/2 months since getting on a full dose of HRT. It’s given me hope of a pleasing outcome. My problem is that I am still in full time male mode. I feel like I am so far behind in my abilities to integrate into society. I have no idea where or how to begin. I have no one that could teach me. I’m not out to anyone other than my wife and one person at work. And most importantly, my wife is not ready to see Jayne so I have to keep her buried. It feels like a very slow and painful journey.

Jayne

Jayne:  I certainly feel your pain along with almost everyone else here on the Susan’s Place Forums.  Hang in there, your time WILL come.
Writing your feelings and updates on your thread and also the other various threads and sharing your feelings with others as they share with you is very good for your mental attitude about your transition journey. ... and it’s good personal therapy too.  I also keep a private pen and paper journal that keeps me on track.
Keep on keeping on... we are all pulling for you.
Hugs and more hugs,
Danielle
Started HRT March 2015     3+ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016
  .
:icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
.




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Online Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #723 on: April 21, 2018, 05:05:22 pm »
Thank you

Jayne



Online KathyLauren

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #724 on: April 21, 2018, 05:18:46 pm »
Jayne, I am so sorry that you are still up against this wall.  I have already edited this post a couple of times because I don't think what I want to say would be helpful.

Let me just say that I hope you are able to make some progress soon.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Online Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #725 on: April 21, 2018, 05:23:13 pm »
Thank you Kathy,

I am making progress. It is just so much slower than I would like. I am grateful for the progress I have been able to make so far. I need to find a way to get through each day without having thoughts of my life wasting away. It isn’t! It just feels like it is. It is those thoughts that get me down.

Jayne



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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #726 on: April 21, 2018, 07:18:09 pm »
Jayne,

I am like Kathy.  I feel like I need to say something that would really help.  Not just some platitude.  I suppose, the best I can do is I say I feel for you and really wish I could make things better for you.  You do know we are all in your corner?  I am sure you do.

Stevi

Online Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #727 on: April 22, 2018, 11:40:17 pm »
So far, it has been a good day today. I had an electrolysis appointment this morning. My electrologist is making good progress. I have done about 66hours including today. She has done a good job of thinning out my beard. I have a 4 hour session next week and she thinks there is a good chance to finish my first complete clearing then. I am very  excited about that. I noticed a big reduction in hair growth from last week’s session and today she was thinning out the remaining dense areas.

After getting my face zapped, I had an appointment with my endocrinologist to see how my implant is performing. He is very happy with my blood levels. I see him again in July to get another implant. Sqeeeeee!!!

And the best part about today is that I am out and about as Jayne. Admittedly, my “look” is very androgynous and I have the remains of a 4 day beard growth and a puffy face from getting zapped this morning. Nobody would ever think I am a woman but I don’t care!  I am happy to be me!!! Seeing my reflection in shop windows as I walked around the city between my appointments, I am pretty sure I saw glimpses of Jayne looking back at me, even with her partial beard.

I am on the train heading home now, but I don’t want this day to end. I am taking comfort in knowing that tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my therapist and then can do it all again....... as Jayne!Squeeeeee!!!

I am on a pleasant high today, and loving it!!!

Jayne



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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #728 on: April 23, 2018, 01:00:36 am »
  In spite of the zaps and the fuzz it sounds like a good day out for you Jayne. And you are Jayne girl! Don't you go thinking otherwise. You are Jayne. And you are Jayne tonight and tomorrow and everyday. She is there inside of you all of the time. Today and tomorrow are her days to come out and play yes but she is always there.

 Hugs,
   Laurie
Hi, I'm Laurie

“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone




Offline Karen

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #729 on: April 23, 2018, 04:57:14 am »
So far, it has been a good day today. I had an electrolysis appointment this morning. My electrologist is making good progress. I have done about 66hours including today. She has done a good job of thinning out my beard. I have a 4 hour session next week and she thinks there is a good chance to finish my first complete clearing then. I am very  excited about that. I noticed a big reduction in hair growth from last week’s session and today she was thinning out the remaining dense areas.

After getting my face zapped, I had an appointment with my endocrinologist to see how my implant is performing. He is very happy with my blood levels. I see him again in July to get another implant. Sqeeeeee!!!

And the best part about today is that I am out and about as Jayne. Admittedly, my “look” is very androgynous and I have the remains of a 4 day beard growth and a puffy face from getting zapped this morning. Nobody would ever think I am a woman but I don’t care!  I am happy to be me!!! Seeing my reflection in shop windows as I walked around the city between my appointments, I am pretty sure I saw glimpses of Jayne looking back at me, even with her partial beard.

I am on the train heading home now, but I don’t want this day to end. I am taking comfort in knowing that tomorrow morning I have an appointment with my therapist and then can do it all again....... as Jayne!Squeeeeee!!!

I am on a pleasant high today, and loving it!!!

Jayne

Hang in there Jayne.   

In addition to my therapist appointment, I too was out as Karen...as close to as I have been...and I had an electrolysis appointment.   The fuse drove me nuts so I shaved aster in the car and put on some foundation.  It helped.   

On the journey together.  Hugs.  Karen
« Last Edit: April 23, 2018, 04:06:56 pm by Karen »
Karen

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #730 on: April 23, 2018, 03:58:48 pm »
  In spite of the zaps and the fuzz it sounds like a good day out for you Jayne. And you are Jayne girl! Don't you go thinking otherwise. You are Jayne. And you are Jayne tonight and tomorrow and everyday. She is there inside of you all of the time. Today and tomorrow are her days to come out and play yes but she is always there.

 Hugs,
   Laurie
Thank you Laurie. These days I am starting to feel more and more that what you say is true. I think of myself as Jayne more than John. The face fuzz is a concern for me, but as I said in my previous post, I am making good progress. Hopefully a few more months and I will be down to chasing random hairs appearing.

Jayne



Online Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #731 on: April 23, 2018, 04:05:43 pm »
Hangs in there Jayne.   

In addition to my therapist appointment, I too was out as Karen...as close to as I have been...and I had an electrolysis appointment.   The fuse drove me nuts so I shaved aster in the car and put on some foundation.  It helped.   

On the journey together.  Hugs.  Karen
Hi Karen,

My electrologist recommends no makeup for 24 hours after a session. I put some aloe Vera on when I get home. I don’t even use moisturiser until the next day. I don’t want to aggravate all the newly zapped hair follicles which are trying hard to heal themselves after being tormented with a hot probe for a few hours. In don’t shave until the next days either for the same reasons and also my face is a little bumpy and sensitive for a while.

Jayne



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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #732 on: April 23, 2018, 04:08:19 pm »
all those "how to shave with a razor" posts going to waste .. sheesh ... heeheeheehheeheheeeeee



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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #733 on: April 23, 2018, 04:18:16 pm »
all those "how to shave with a razor" posts going to waste .. sheesh ... heeheeheehheeheheeeeee
Oh no, I followed the instructions and still managed to end up bleeding all over the place. And then I am left with tiny little scans at each place I cut myself. And it stings like crazy afterwards. I figured I will just put up with my electric shaver. I have lived with a less than perfect shave my entire life, what’s a few more months!

Jayne



Offline Karen

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #734 on: April 23, 2018, 04:22:13 pm »
OMG....this group of ladies need to invest in creating a white and grey hair laser machine!   We'd have a lot less worries and time back for shopping. 

I can handle the pain of laser.....everywhere, because it works.   

Electrolysis....I am doing it because all of you are strong and have paved the way, and I cant stand the hair.   

There must be an easier way...

Karen
Karen

Online Jayne01

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Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #735 on: April 23, 2018, 04:27:42 pm »
Electrolysis is slow and painful but proven to work. I wanted to do this only once, so the pain is worth it. I even welcome it because I know I am getting results with each prodding if that hot probe.

I have done a couple sessions down below. Yikes! It is a different kind of pain. Less intense than on my upper lip but it makes me cringe and want to bight down hard on anything I can get my hands on. It’s still worth it though.

Jayne
« Last Edit: April 23, 2018, 11:58:28 pm by Jayne01 »



Online Jayne01

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #736 on: April 24, 2018, 12:04:19 am »
I just saw my previous post. It was full of typos thanks to the lovely autocorrect feature on my phone. I have corrected those mistakes so it all makes sense now. I really need to proof read what I type before posting.

On a positive note, I had another really good day today. I even wore my very first bra which I bought yesterday. It feels so incredibly right being me. It will be hard going to work tomorrow in full 100% male mode. All I can say to male me is that your days are numbered buddy!

Jayne



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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #737 on: April 24, 2018, 01:09:43 am »
Hi Jayne,

  I'm glad you had another very good day today. Your first bra! Wow what a newbie you are. Feels great to have that band snugly hugging your chest doesn't it? It gets better when you can feel the insides of the cups pressing against the skin as they should. You have many more joys to experience Jayne. Remember that your new life is just at the beginning. I love the feelings of the soft smooth fabrics I can now wear whenever I want. You will be able to do it too Jayne. It is but a matter of time, Hun. Remember and enjoy these good days.

Hugs,
  Laurie
Hi, I'm Laurie

“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
Aug 26, 2017 another increase in estradiol
Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
May 20, 2017 doubled estradiol
May 18, 2017 started electrolysis
Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone




Online KathyLauren

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #738 on: April 24, 2018, 06:03:26 am »
Your first bra.  Wow, our Jayne is growing up!  Congratulations!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

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Re: Life is Better as Me, by Jayne
« Reply #739 on: April 24, 2018, 07:47:40 am »
Congrats on the first bra. It is a great milestone on your journey.
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
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July 23 appointment with urologist to set orchi date.

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