Author Topic: Referred back to psychological assessment (GIC)  (Read 591 times)

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Offline OliBoy

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Referred back to psychological assessment (GIC)
« on: November 30, 2017, 11:40:30 am »
I had my first appointment at an adult GIC in June, after having had a few appointments at the Tavistock the previous year. During the first half of the psychological assessment, the therapist was very friendly & told me that I seemed stable and sensible (she also called me "charming and polite", which as an autistic person are words I've never really been described with before). It all seemed to be going well, and I got excited because she mentioned that I might be able to start Testosterone by December.

Things got slightly worse towards the end of the appointment. She accused me of lying twice, even though I hadn't - one was a misunderstanding of terminology between us, one was her bringing up (in a very insensitive way) something about my childhood that had been written in a CAMHS report, and insisting I was lying when I said I didn't know about it. She didn't take the time to listen to my perspective and immediately started being hostile, so I'm worried that she might still think I'm a liar even though I tried to explain myself as best as I could. But despite all of this, I believed that I had generally left a good impression and had been judged psychologically stable enough to medically transition.

My next appointment was in October with a doctor. When I finally met this doctor, I was a lot more comfortable with her because she had a more calm and attentive demenour than the psychologist had. I ended up telling her a lot more personal stuff - complicated ideas around a nonbinary gender expression, being suicidal, weird intrusive thoughts about graphic self-harm I sometimes have. I'm quite worried that telling the psychologist that I wasn't suicidal and telling the doctor that I am is part of the reason why this whole situation happened, and isn't a very good discrepancy to have in my records. But at least I told one of them? Looking back now on how my first appointment went, I feel pretty justified in my mistrust of the first psychologist.
 
I actually talked so much during that appointment that I was told to come back for another appointment next month, so she could finish asking all of the necessary questions. The doctor asked me to bring my autism assessment report next time, but didn't indicate that there were any problems. This next appointment was supposed to be in early November. A few weeks beforehand, I instead received a letter saying that my appointment had been cancelled and that I would be seeing a psychologist again.

To me, this sounds like I have been set back in my medical transition, and that while I was previously expecting to be having my third and perhaps final GIC appointment before being allowed to start Testosterone, I'm now back at step 1 for some reason.

Yesterday I called up the GIC to find out the date of my next appointment because I haven't heard from them in a while. It's in February. My plan was to be on hormones for a good few months (ideally 6 months) before I start university next September, but it seems like that might not work out after all 😕

I'm feeling frustrated for a few reasons. Firstly, that they still haven't told me why I've been sent back to the psychological assessment stage, which means I'll just be worrying and wildly hypothesising about it until my next appointment. Secondly, I would think that they could give me an appointment a little sooner than three months, considering that they're the ones who cancelled it, not me. Thirdly, I'm really desperate to finally get on hormones and I hate having any delay in the process. I'm currently 5'2", and have this fantasy about growing just a few inches taller. I know it's unlikely anyway, but the older I get, the even less likely it'll be.

I should have asked the GIC about the reason for the cancellation when I called them up. I have my suspicions (mostly based around the idea that they may think I've been lying), but... ugh. I really don't know. I also found out on the same day I called the GIC that I hadn't gotten a job that I would have really been suited for, so the whole thing ended up sending me into a spiral of hopelessness and suicidal thinking. Feeling better now, but still confused and a little lost.

Sorry for all the details, I've just been trying to process a lot of things to figure out why I'm in the situation I'm in now. Has anyone else here been sent back to a psychologist after already passing a psychological assessment at a GIC?

Offline Elis

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Re: Referred back to psychological assessment (GIC)
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2017, 12:11:06 pm »
Sorry you're going through this. Although I didn't go through the NHS GIC system myself I have loads of experiences of things seeming not to go right and how rubbish that makes one feel. This is only a temporary setback. A few more months of playing their game and jumping through their hoops (maybe the odd white lie or two) and you'll be able to enjoy the benefits of T.
Hope it gets better for you :)
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Offline OliBoy

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Re: Referred back to psychological assessment (GIC)
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2017, 01:01:08 pm »
Thanks Elis ☺
Just need to keep reminding myself that testosterone is going to be just as effective in producing the changes I want, whether I started taking it in December, in a few months or even in a few years. It can feel like the time I spend looking feminine are years of my life that I've just wasted. But I know logically that I'm still young and have plenty of time ahead of me to present as my gender.

(And hey, another agender/male person! I don't have a set label for my gender, but mine is pretty similar to that)

Offline Elis

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Re: Referred back to psychological assessment (GIC)
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2017, 01:18:57 pm »
Thanks Elis ☺
Just need to keep reminding myself that testosterone is going to be just as effective in producing the changes I want, whether I started taking it in December, in a few months or even in a few years. It can feel like the time I spend looking feminine are years of my life that I've just wasted. But I know logically that I'm still young and have plenty of time ahead of me to present as my gender.

(And hey, another agender/male person! I don't have a set label for my gender, but mine is pretty similar to that)

Yay nice to meet another one too  ;D

Might want to check out the non binary London fb page if you're close by  :)
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Offline OliBoy

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Re: Referred back to psychological assessment (GIC)
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2017, 03:33:19 pm »
Thanks for the tip! I do actually live in London so will request to join the page! I'm not part of any online trans groups even though I attend a few different LGBTQ and trans specific groups in person, so this should be interesting  :)

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