Activism and Politics > Activism

Normalizing it.

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Taylorcaudle:
Im going to sound ignorant. Im warning you now. Im honestily just trying to understand so please be nice about it
But i have this question that maybe you can answer. Were trying to normalize our selfs and make it so we are close to normal society as it. Today in America its still kind of a taboo thing as you well know and we really dont get the recognition we deserve at any lgbt event. But my question is why are people so afraid of being outed? I mean i understand that sometimes its not a safe place (unaccepting home, unsafe areas etc..) but i mean the way i look at it is who the f#*$ cares. We need people that we exist and we are not going anywhere. Like im so blunt about it. I think its a healthy thing to do to help to answer question with people and here them say "i was on the fence about understanding but now i completely get it" i mean i just feel like we should be more open about even though we dont like it. Help?

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Thea:
I agree that more openness and visibility would force society at large to recognize our existence, however...

There is a deep psychological reason for many peoples' reluctance to come out.

I realized I am trans about forty-five years ago. In those days, in the part of the U.S. where I come from, a boy would get beaten to a pulp for something as inconsequential as wearing a pink shirt or showing an interest in dolls. There would be no consequences to the beater because it was the boy's fault for being different. The other kids, teachers in school and even family members were all involved. My dad beat the <not allowed> out of me when I was 12 for taking an interest in painting. He said it was too effeminate for his son. I know it sounds stupid now, but back then it was normal for him to feel that way and nobody thought anything of it.

We have come a long way since then but that sort of thing sticks with a person. Staying alive and out of the hospital meant staying hidden for the first thirty years of my life. It became ingrained and is very difficult to change, as much as I may want to.

Taylorcaudle:

--- Quote from: Thea on November 30, 2017, 09:17:39 pm ---I agree that more openness and visibility would force society at large to recognize our existence, however...

There is a deep psychological reason for many peoples' reluctance to come out.

I realized I am trans about forty-five years ago. In those days, in the part of the U.S. where I come from, a boy would get beaten to a pulp for something as inconsequential as wearing a pink shirt or showing an interest in dolls. There would be no consequences to the beater because it was the boy's fault for being different. The other kids, teachers in school and even family members were all involved. My dad beat the <not allowed> out of me when I was 12 for taking an interest in painting. He said it was too effeminate for his son. I know it sounds stupid now, but back then it was normal for him to feel that way and nobody thought anything of it.

We have come a long way since then but that sort of thing sticks with a person. Staying alive and out of the hospital meant staying hidden for the first thirty years of my life. It became ingrained and is very difficult to change, as much as I may want to.

--- End quote ---
Im so sorry thats awful. Well im glad things are diffrent for you now.... i can understand how that would throw a wrench in those gears

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KathyLauren:
I am privileged to live in a place where it is mostly safe to be out.  I make no effort to be "stealth".  I just go about my business as myself, and it is no big deal.  I agree, that it helps to normalize our presence, and thereby make it a little bit safer for others following in this path.

But there are many places where a trans person can get discriminated against, beaten or even killed, just for being who they are.  Unfortunately, this is not rare.  As long as those horrible things still happen, people will feel a need to hide who they really are, whether it be staying in the closet and never transitioning or going stealth and avoiding mention of their past.

Megan.:
I'm fairly open about who and what I am. But I also identify as close-enough to binary female,  that that is how I like to be treated by society.
So for me personally it's not about safety (I've never felt unsafe where I live or work),  but simply fitting into those roles and behaviors that Western culture has already built.

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