Author Topic: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?  (Read 693 times)

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Offline PurpleWolf

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Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« on: December 07, 2017, 12:37:00 pm »

1. Have you had sex with a cis guy? Before or after transitioning?

2. How was it? Did it cause you dysphoria? In what ways? Did he penetrate you?

3. If not, have you ever been curious to what it may feel like?

4. Anything else you wanna share?
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Offline Elis

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2017, 12:49:19 pm »
*2nd awkward wave*

1. Yep only after transitioning

2. It was good. Makes me feel good about myself that my body is appreciated for what it is and that I can have more fun than a cis guy bcos of what I got.  And yep penetration/sex toys/fingering

4. Cis gay men will want to have sex with you. This was my fear that I'd just be treated like crap bcos I'm trans but most of the time I'm treated no differently. Although people my age group (20s) seem to be mostly a holes compared to older guys  >:(  That being said at least being trans allows me to know quicker who the awful people are so I can avoid them
They/them pronouns preferred.




Offline Kylo

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2017, 03:58:18 pm »
Both

Sex in general causes dysphoria and will never bother having it "just for the sake of it". Requires extreme dissociation to enjoy. Unless I'm really into someone and they can somehow distract me from reality. Which is rare.

So unless in a state of acute hormone-induced madness for someone, I'd rather pluck my nose hairs.


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Offline Oblivion

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2017, 04:13:44 pm »
1. Have you had sex with a cis guy? Before or after transitioning?
It was after coming out but before any medical transition

2. How was it? Did it cause you dysphoria? In what ways? Did he penetrate you?
Not great at all. Extremely dysphoria inducing and tbh, painful and not at all pleasurable. The dynamic of being with a cis guy was dysphoria inducing in itself but he touched my chest which I made him aware I wasn't comfortable with and I didn't feel able to tell him not to. I don't like thinking about the experience.

4. Anything else you wanna share?
If you're gonna have sex be with a partner that you communicate well with and respects your boundaries. Also make sure that they're willing to get to know your body and how to make you feel good and not just get themselves off. My boyfriend's a trans guy and I'm so much more comfortable having sex, I never thought I would be okay with having my clothes off infront of another person but we communicate about everything and know each others limits. I know that him being trans too makes it easier for me because he understands what I'm going through but as long as your partner is willing to listen and respect then you should be okay.

Offline PurpleWolf

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2017, 06:58:11 pm »

1. Nope. Only been with a woman.
3. Yes. A part of me is curious, yes. But I can't imagine having sex with a man with this body. Never have. I don't know if it might be different when I've transitioned. But I'm in a long relationship, so  ;)! Not a chance. Plus I'm not gay!
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

- A social butterfly not living in social isolation anymore  ;D -
(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day

Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2017, 07:33:34 pm »
1. Yes, several. Before and after having started transitioning. (The majority of them after I started T).
2. How was it? -It has been everything from horrible to absolutely amazing, depending on the guy, me, our connection, etc. But in general it's something that I enjoy.
Did it cause dysphoria? In what ways? -Anything that involves me having any kind of sex always causes me some degree of dysphoria but I can sometimes distract myself from it with various techniques, but I get dysphoria usually about my genitals and sometimes about how I'm perceived by the guy. I used to get fairly mild chest dysphoria during sex before top surgery, but as long they didn't touch me there (which most didn't) it was fine for me to be topless during sex.
Did he penetrate you? -Sometimes guys have penetrated me (however I don't receive PIV since a few years ago cause it causes waaay too much dysphoria for me that I can no longer deal with) but usually we don't go further than oral.
3. Probably not applicable to me cause I'm guessing you're referring the front, but I was curious about anal for half an eternity (10 years) before I eventually tried and loved it almost instantly, but I haven't yet tried with an actual other person, but I would and will (at some point).
4. I have a very wide sprectrum of experiences when it comes to sex with cis men, as they range from loving, romantic relationships to shitty, intoxicated one night stands, so it's difficult to give a general overview of the entirety of those experiences. Most of the ones I've been with have been older than me as well, they're often between 30 and 60 but some have been younger or older than that. Also another point is that I've almost only been with cis men, with the exception that my former boyfriend was a trans guy like me. Some things that I've found has been a quite common factor with the cis guys I've been with though and that I like, is that they tend to be very direct in what they want/don't want which makes communication easier for me, most of them never had any issues with me being trans (although one guy totally freaked out about it afterwards and asked me to keep our encounter secret... *ouch*) and I've always felt respected by them. I am gay, just in case that needed to be clarified. And perhaps a tad promiscuous.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - legal name change
Mar. 2010 - officially diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped 1 year after
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed
*
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition, applied for name change
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T - name change approved
Oct. 2018 - got new ID-card

Second transition, plans: breast reconstruction surgery, permanent hair removal, change legal gender marker back to female, stay off T.

Offline PurpleWolf

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2017, 08:03:54 pm »
1. Yes, several. Before and after having started transitioning. (The majority of them after I started T).
2. How was it? -It has been everything from horrible to absolutely amazing, depending on the guy, me, our connection, etc. But in general it's something that I enjoy.
Did it cause dysphoria? In what ways? -Anything that involves me having any kind of sex always causes me some degree of dysphoria but I can sometimes distract myself from it with various techniques, but I get dysphoria usually about my genitals and sometimes about how I'm perceived by the guy. I used to get fairly mild chest dysphoria during sex before top surgery, but as long they didn't touch me there (which most didn't) it was fine for me to be topless during sex.
Did he penetrate you? -Sometimes guys have penetrated me (however I don't receive PIV since a few years ago cause it causes waaay too much dysphoria for me that I can no longer deal with) but usually we don't go further than oral.
3. Probably not applicable to me cause I'm guessing you're referring the front, but I was curious about anal for half an eternity (10 years) before I eventually tried and loved it almost instantly, but I haven't yet tried with an actual other person, but I would and will (at some point).
4. I have a very wide sprectrum of experiences when it comes to sex with cis men, as they range from loving, romantic relationships to shitty, intoxicated one night stands, so it's difficult to give a general overview of the entirety of those experiences. Most of the ones I've been with have been older than me as well, they're often between 30 and 60 but some have been younger or older than that. Also another point is that I've almost only been with cis men, with the exception that my former boyfriend was a trans guy like me. Some things that I've found has been a quite common factor with the cis guys I've been with though and that I like, is that they tend to be very direct in what they want/don't want which makes communication easier for me, most of them never had any issues with me being trans (although one guy totally freaked out about it afterwards and asked me to keep our encounter secret... *ouch*) and I've always felt respected by them. I am gay, just in case that needed to be clarified. And perhaps a tad promiscuous.

Wow! Great answer! Totally appreciate!!!
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

- A social butterfly not living in social isolation anymore  ;D -
(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day

Offline scrubcore

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2017, 03:17:34 pm »
Before my current girlfriend, I had only seriously dated cis men.
1. I never had coitus with cis men, but I was sexually intimate will all of my cis men exes. All of which were before I came out as trans
2: Overall, it was alright. But I find now, looking back, that I experience a lot of dyphoria being intimate with cis men.
4: I am curious what being with a cis man would be like after having come out as trans. After coming out I've only been with fellow trans folks and have avoided being intimate with cis people in general.



Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2017, 11:57:01 am »
Wow! Great answer! Totally appreciate!!!

Awesome!  :)
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - legal name change
Mar. 2010 - officially diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped 1 year after
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed
*
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition, applied for name change
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T - name change approved
Oct. 2018 - got new ID-card

Second transition, plans: breast reconstruction surgery, permanent hair removal, change legal gender marker back to female, stay off T.

Offline meatwagon

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Re: Guys: Have you been with a cis guy?
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2017, 03:08:03 pm »
1. Have you had sex with a cis guy? Before or after transitioning?
i was married to one before "coming out", so yes.

2. How was it? Did it cause you dysphoria? In what ways? Did he penetrate you?
i didn't really think in depth about it.  wasn't dysphoric until later on as it started getting worse and worse over time, but i never felt connected to my body.  i never liked to be totally naked, have the lights on, etc, but i didn't stop to consider why i felt that way until i became more sure of my gender and then it made sense.  after that point, sex became awkward for the both of us.  it happened once or twice after breaking up but wasn't really good or meaningful at that point. 

3. If not, have you ever been curious to what it may feel like?
n/a

4. Anything else you wanna share?
i always felt more comfortable doing things that made me feel less like "the girl" in that situation, like wearing platform shoes to make me taller, being more pushy about what i wanted, and using the "backdoor" instead of the front.  i always wanted to try taking a more dominant role with him, but we never reached that point.

i have not been with any other men, nor do i currently plan to.  i'm not sure i'm actually attracted to them in the first place, and any fooling around either way would have to wait until i am more comfortable with my body.

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