Author Topic: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)  (Read 4369 times)

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Offline Roll

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #160 on: May 13, 2018, 08:44:52 am »
Anyone else thought about that? Not sure if your own wants cloud your attraction veiws?

What I thought was my dream girl for most of my life was actually just what I wanted to look like for sure.
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An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!

Only 3 people left to come out to until it just becomes public knowledge.


Offline Shambles

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #161 on: May 13, 2018, 10:39:08 am »
Sounds like im not the only one then! Envy and attraction are practically the same thing. Was going down the path of how do i seperate the two to understand what i actually like from another person but i guess that will only come with time through stages of transition.

I thought after my awaking back in nov that i knew who i was but im still learning new things as time goes on.

Seriouly considering going into work tomorrow with painted nails, its been a good weekend. also soo want to get left ear peired three times
- Jo / Joanne

16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

Offline Alyssa Bree

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #162 on: May 13, 2018, 11:05:29 am »
Quote
What I thought was my dream girl for most of my life was actually just what I wanted to look like for sure.


This absolutely! It took me a very long time to figure that out though haha.


xoxoxo
Alyssa
Your NEEDS drive your WANTS which drive your ACTIONS. To not take action is to not meet your needs.

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Offline Shambles

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #163 on: May 14, 2018, 05:10:03 am »
I've realized something this weekend, i've always been to scared of other people's views to let any personality show or do anything physically that shows anything but masculinity. When i realized this i felt so calm afterwards.

I'm saying no more to this.

Today i'm going into work with colour on my nails and i've started to look at earrings. If the world dont like it it's tough as this is me and i'm here to stay
- Jo / Joanne

16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #164 on: May 14, 2018, 12:37:33 pm »
That's what I said, started with clear nails and then on my birthday had my ears done, started padding my bra and painting nails. Then it was full time and now name change. A few quizzicals but no problems , out and about its been fine. Saying that not been shopping in a dress or skirt yet, soon though now its warming up. Its "if you have a problem its your problem not mine" 
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #165 on: May 24, 2018, 05:23:42 am »
Dr. Anne Vitale wrote that (in the case of MtF) we are attracted to and often marry the woman we want to be. That’s been the case for me.

 - Stephanie

Very interesting indeed. I feel precisely the same. I agree completely with Jo, Alyssa, Stephanie, Kathy, Tonya and Ellie.

I may consider a thread on this subject shortly.

There is more than a remote connection between our transgender life and physical attraction!

Hugs to all

Pamela



Offline Shambles

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #166 on: June 05, 2018, 04:42:16 am »
update time!

Ear has been pierced, went with 2 on the top and one on the lobe, all 3 on the one ear - really pleased with how it looks.

Started to buy some clothes, wasn't far off with sizes recon im a 20 for tops and 18 bottom, waiting on 18's though but the 20's i got was a bit big.

Took this photo last night-


Think it's my new fav pic, keep looking at it and gives me a warm feeling. It really doesn't look like the male me at all.

Lots to do atm but trying to get prepared for the sept meet up, using it as a bit of a drive to get my ass into gear.

Weight is pritty stable atm unfortunately, cant seem to get below 16.5 stone (231lbs) need to get this down asap!

I forgot about the goals i set at the start of the year so glad i wrote them down here, turns out i'm pleased with my progress after the 6 month mark

Also bra's, noticed that the b's i've been wearing are a bit too small now, brought a c cup (wearing in pic), dont fill it but i'd say around 3/4, trouble is it's a bit hard to hide them with the c on so think i need to wear the b's while at work to squish them down.

Having major trouble with skin on arms and chest, all my hair seams to grow sideways or flat and the amount of ingrown hairs is bad, i mean really bad. Nothing i do seams to help either it's looking like a red cratered moon right now, cant even count how many red marks are on chest. Got some cream from docs for infections but prob is it's just the fact their so many in gowning the cream is a bit pointless.

Got my 3rd lasor season on face this week
- Jo / Joanne

16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #167 on: June 05, 2018, 05:27:22 pm »
There you go Jo slowly but surely . See you in Sept ;)
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Offline Megan.

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #168 on: June 05, 2018, 05:50:48 pm »
Looking great hun. X

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Offline Roll

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #169 on: June 05, 2018, 10:58:54 pm »
Looking amazing!!!!!! <3
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!

Only 3 people left to come out to until it just becomes public knowledge.


Offline Shambles

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #170 on: June 13, 2018, 08:55:48 am »
Not a good update, more of a vent.

Told yesterday that im not going to get redundcey, this means theres no money to do private hrt, will ne no money for hair transplant and im stuck doing too many hrs over 2 jobs and generally makes it harder to transition in the timeframe i had in mind.feels like a part of me just died, so so low atm im just glad i didnt get this news a day before as spend 7 hours at my desk in a thought loop about ending it all.

I dont mo where to go from here, so trapped by home, wife, money, jobs ive got nowhere to turn. Somethings gotta give. Feels like im 1 random convo away from bursting out in tears

Forget transition my 1 goal atm is just to keep breathing and see what happens
- Jo / Joanne

16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

Offline Michelle_P

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #171 on: June 13, 2018, 11:22:47 am »
I’m sorry to see this, Jo. You were so upbeat a few days ago in posting about your clothing and such, and now this. 

Best to take a few days, and think of this as a time to regroup and consider plans.  In working on ourselves, we often develop plans for our transitions that turn out not to be workable, and have to fall back and regroup.  I must have done this a dozen times in my first 8 months after coming out, and each time it hurt, whacked me back into depression, and produced some pretty horrible thoughts.

I kept a written diary, and that helped, particularly at keeping me from running in circles and spinning my way to depression.  I could just flip back a few pages and see right there that I had considered some alternatives and already knew the risks and rewards, no need to repeat the exercise.  Without that I would just be beating myself up again running my mind in a loop.

I found at times like that it was best for me to just get through one day, one morning at a time, and eventually something would come to me, a thought, a news article, or a message from a friend that might open an unexplored pathway I could explore.

Eventually I found one pathway that led to my transition.  It was nothing like I had imagined when I came out, but it worked.

Just get through the day, Jo.  Some new possibility will open a new path for you.
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Online davina61

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #172 on: June 13, 2018, 02:49:32 pm »
Ever the optimist I find when thing don't go to plan some thing turns up that would have been missed or not happened if I had stuck to a plan.Hope you get what I mean! Stay strong as unless you have a working crystal ball how do you know what will be in your future.
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #173 on: June 14, 2018, 05:37:05 am »
Jo

I am so sorry to hear you are not getting redundancy and hence you don't have funds for HRT or Hair Transplant and that you are working yourself so hard and that as a result you are depressed.

I know it is so hard to change your thinking when depressed and I do sympathise. Please try not to be disheartened. Please try to concentrate on what you have already achieved and that with your enthusiasm, you will achieve more.

I hope in early course you find sufficient funds for at least 1 or your 2 objectives.

Hugs

Pamela



Offline Roll

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #174 on: June 14, 2018, 09:04:08 am »
Not a good update, more of a vent.

Told yesterday that im not going to get redundcey, this means theres no money to do private hrt, will ne no money for hair transplant and im stuck doing too many hrs over 2 jobs and generally makes it harder to transition in the timeframe i had in mind.feels like a part of me just died, so so low atm im just glad i didnt get this news a day before as spend 7 hours at my desk in a thought loop about ending it all.

I dont mo where to go from here, so trapped by home, wife, money, jobs ive got nowhere to turn. Somethings gotta give. Feels like im 1 random convo away from bursting out in tears

Forget transition my 1 goal atm is just to keep breathing and see what happens

I'm right there with you on those feelings. Life is just kicking my ass right now. I mean, I've literally burst into tears in the middle of a conversation a few times in the past 5 days.

Even though I  did get to have the hair transplants, I'm having massive buyer's remorse and freaking out over how much money I just spent.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!

Only 3 people left to come out to until it just becomes public knowledge.


Offline Shambles

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #175 on: June 14, 2018, 12:35:02 pm »
Had a bit of a growth spert with the boobies, 42C now. Not bad pre hrt lol. Im not complaining though its the only good thing thats going on atm. 48 hrs after no redunceny cash turns out my busness that is plan b for funds might be no more in a months time. Talk about being kicked when your down, its more like ive been beaten to the floor then being stabbed while down. Might be ok but worse case it isnt. Hell even best case its not brilliant right now but yeah 42C. Honestly how do teenage girls even do anything
- Jo / Joanne

16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

Online davina61

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #176 on: June 14, 2018, 01:12:06 pm »
Well done on the boobage . Hugs
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017


Offline Shambles

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Re: Jo Bloggs (formally The Rambles of Shambles)
« Reply #177 on: June 21, 2018, 11:36:03 am »
Issue with own bis is dealt with for now so that's a huge weight off my shoulders, in other news i've been going out in my jeggings. Went to a work do for a few hours and made the chest obvious, T shirt that fits (so smaller than most that i have) and did get a few looks, they seamed to notice that and didn't spot the coloured nail varnish, didn't get any comments about stuff but was quite funny seeing people look.

Been putting hair on a bit while alone at work, thing is i need to take it off after 10-15mins as i cant concentrate on the work! wouldn't get things done if left it off.

Open question on hrt boob growth as i want to see if it's the same as what i'm experiencing atm. For me they have grown alot the last few weeks, i would say from a B to a medium C now, quite cone shaped, no size change in nipples, there not sore but are quite sensitive now. wouldn't hurt to bang them against something but defiantly more sensitive to the touch. Does this sound like someone on hrt? i'm not taking anything but feels like hormones are all out of wack. Every day this week they've felt a little bigger!

- Jo / Joanne

16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

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