Author Topic: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?  (Read 363 times)

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Offline Nbj

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Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« on: January 02, 2018, 07:14:16 am »
Hey there,

my Name is Nbj and I am 23.
I decided to finally join this Forum (after being a silent reader for a while).

[...] in those brackets I just had written about 500 words of explaining my way in the past years, my life before that etc., when I realized that "heck no, that's not what 'introducing yourself' means" ^^

I have no clue about my gender identity. What I can say now, is that I see myself (and want to be seen) as a man (in appearance), but feel somewhat like "way more male than female but still not a full man" << that sounds stupid but I don't have a better way to describe it yet. 

To be honest, I at first was very reluctant to join your online community, because I wanted to get some real life contacts... my best friend, who knows about my struggle, is very supportive and gives me great tips, and I would be in a much worse place without him, but he doesn't "get it". But my city is small and in the local lgbt-community there seem to be some "passive-transphobics." That's why that's not really the place to go to for me either.

I know that's not much of an introduction, but i think I will tell more about myself by answering posts and post stuff myself soon anyways

Well...
Thanks to all you great people for being here for each other and I hope I will find some nice place here to be myself and maybe even help to figure stuff out a little more.

« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 01:25:55 pm by Laurie »

Online KathyLauren

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2018, 09:35:20 am »
Hi, Jojo! 

Welcome abord!  You made a good choice signing up here: it's one of the friendliest places on the internet, with lots of good advice and good people.  If you are questioning your gender, you are one of us.

It's too bad your local LGB organization isn't very T-friendly.  That makes it hard to find resources.  One resource you might want to start searching for is a gender therapist.  They can help you sort out what your needs and goals are and how to get there.

2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline MeTony

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2018, 10:49:48 am »
Welcome Jojo.

You did right to register on here. This is by far the best forum on internet. Heavily moderated and people are really nice and supportive.

We all question our gender. Noone knows what path life will give us. No path is wrong. It’s your own path and it is as right as my path. Best way to know what way to go is interacting and writing. Your thoughts and feelings will become clearer.

Also a good gender therapist can be very helpful when you are ready for that.


Tony

Online Megan.

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2018, 12:13:52 pm »
Hi JoJo

I transitioned to live full time as a woman (mtf) last year. I don't identify as 100% female,  but much closer to that than male, so I've been very happy in my journey.

I experimented with gradual steps, at each point deciding if I needed to go further until I reached the final full-time point. You might find a different point on the spectrum that works for you!

Good luck with everything.

Megan. X

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Offline Sno

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2018, 04:19:01 pm »
Hi Jojo,

Welcome again, we have a non-binary forum here too, it’s where I hang out and some other folk too, have a look and join in the fun.

Personally I’m more like 80 (ish)% female, with a solid remainder of meh, why are these folk menning  and femming like crazy here, can’t they see they’re both biased...

See you around the boards (Hugs)


Rowan

Online V M

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2018, 08:31:06 pm »
Hi Jojo  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along


Things that you should read

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS

 
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Offline Roll

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2018, 08:31:46 pm »
Hi Jojo! You made the right choice joining, this is a wonderful and accepting community with loads of people of all stripes who are happy to help however possible. :)

Originally I thought I was 135% female, 26% male, and 3.4% African Wild Dog. Then I realized that I didn't fill out the spreadsheet correctly and have no idea why African Wild Dog was even a category to begin with, so I just went with female. ... Sorry, I make really stupid jokes, ignore me. (Except for the personal text under my avatar. That is not a joke, I really am trying to figure out a sitcom catch phrase. ... Seriously, just ignore me.)
~ Ellie
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(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
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Only 3 people left to come out to until it just becomes public knowledge.


Offline Nbj

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2018, 10:01:06 pm »
One resource you might want to start searching for is a gender therapist.  They can help you sort out what your needs and goals are and how to get there.

Best way to know what way to go is interacting and writing. Your thoughts and feelings will become clearer.
Also a good gender therapist can be very helpful when you are ready for that.

Thank you a lot for your kind words and advice. Problme is, that I already am seeing a  therapist, though none specialised in lgbt topics. I feel very comfortable with her (not easy for me), just not with these topics. But since her costs aren't covered by insurance, I really can't afford seeing somebody else in addition right now. Whatever, as soon as I see a possibilty, I'll look into this possibilty.

Hi Jojo

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that we offer to all new members to help them along

Thanks for those, I#ll take a look asap!


Originally I thought I was 135% female, 26% male, and 3.4% African Wild Dog. Then I realized that I didn't fill out the spreadsheet correctly and have no idea why African Wild Dog was even a category to begin with, so I just went with female. ... Sorry, I make really stupid jokes, ignore me. (Except for the personal text under my avatar. That is not a joke, I really am trying to figure out a sitcom catch phrase. ... Seriously, just ignore me.)

Haha, you know, I'm sorry to disobey you, but I'm not somebody to ignore a laugh, therefore I won't ignore your african wild dog here  :D

THank you alL!

Offline Sno

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2018, 10:28:04 pm »
Jojo,

It’s probably worth talking through these issues with your current therapist - they all have to start learning somewhere:). In addition they may be able to give you advise to help a little whilst dealing with other issues alongside.

These topics are deeply personal, and willingness to talk them through with someone shows a degree of trust and confidence in the relationship - you should be able to talk with your therapist about anything at all, and not need to self censor.

My poor therapist, during one of my sessions was confronted by “oh, and there’s my gender issues”.... she didn’t bat an eyelid, but we did agree that whilst it was a big issue that the were others that we needed to look at before we started to address that one...

Rowan


Online Laurie

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2018, 11:33:41 am »
Hi Jojo,

  I'm Laurie. I identify as female in process though I've wished to be female all my life I am struggling with it now. This is likely due to other issues going on in my life now. Like Rowan my gender therapy had to sidetrack my gender concerns for more important things. He and I began with gender issues and were doing fine until I told him I didn't want to be alive anymore. That was several months ago now and it is still unresolved. Like Rowan said we should be able to tell our therapists anything. Being open and honest with them is the only way they will have the information they need to help us.
  I am glad that you have been around for a bit and finally decided you could join us. Behold the door is open won't you come on in. Welcome to Susan's Place where you can be yourself among friends.

 Hugs,
   Laurie

Offline Nbj

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Re: Hi, it's me...whoever that is?
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2018, 02:36:24 pm »
Yeah, you're probably right. after dealing with some weird tension and kinda anxiety through today I noticed how I kinda "longed" for my next therapy session, just so that I can tak to somebody I know i'm safe with. Hope this  resolution lasts until session next week.

Anyway, again thanks for the heartly warm welcome and I'm looking forward to participating more on here.

Night!

« Last Edit: April 28, 2018, 01:21:45 pm by Laurie »

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