Author Topic: Name help ?(transman)  (Read 322 times)

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Offline jinepyaw

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Name help ?(transman)
« on: January 11, 2018, 09:27:30 pm »
How did you choose your name ?
I was wondering how I should choose between the two names I have in mind. I'm going to be starting a new job in the summer so I need to have chosen by then but I'm really unsure how to choose between the two.
I am of mixed ancestry and have a middle eastern surname. It is one of the easiest middle eastern surnames thankfully. But I know some people will just look at it, think "that's not an English name " and give up.
The other half of my ancestry is Irish, and I wanted my name to reflect I have mixed ancestry as people have always tried to box me in as one or the other.
The Irish name I like is Tadhg (like the "Tig" in "tiger") but I know no one will be able to spell it, and maybe people might be confused how to say it. But I like that its a truly Irish name, and I like that it means " poet" as I'm a writer.
I also like Ernest. Its not an Irish name but it would still demonstrate that I'm mixed , plus its a virtue name so I feel like its kind of universal like that. I know most people will be able to say and spell it, but I only like the full name , I don't like the nicknames Ern or Ernie. Plus it does remind me of an old man's name and I'm 20 and nowhere near cool enough to pull off being young but having an "older" name.
So I feel conflicted,
How did you choose your name? What did you consider? And how /when did you know what it was going to be?

Offline widdershins

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Re: Name help ?(transman)
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2018, 10:10:53 pm »
I tried a bunch of different nicknames online over the years (in MMOs, forums, social media, etc.) and picked the one that stuck. I knew it was the right one because I started accidentally answering to it offline. It felt like me in a way nothing else had, my deadname included. I'm not going to give my name out here, but it's a very common, traditional English name.

My main criteria were that it had to be short, and it had to be easy to pronounce and spell. My surname is long and hard to pronounce for English speakers, and I refused to keep dealing with that for my first name. I also wanted to avoid names I have strong negative associations with, for obvious reasons. But beyond that, I mainly just wanted something I identified with. That's why I took so long and tried so many random things. I don't think most people know what's going to resonate on that deep level without wearing awhile. I know I sure couldn't.

There's a lot of pressure to be unique and deep and meaningful, but honestly, blending in has its perks too. I'm weird enough on my own without an unusual name to grapple with. Go with whatever makes you happy, but don't let anyone tell you pure functionality isn't a valid reason if that's your deciding factor. 

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: Name help ?(transman)
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2018, 02:38:48 am »
Actually, I changed my surname to something else for a specific reason - it is a name found in English, American, Russian, Eastern European, French, Spanish, South American and has a Middle Eastern derivative root.

The reason I chose it is because it's impossible to "pin down" to just one particular culture or place. I don't like the idea of being judged for my surname, but I also want one that would fit in quite easily in my own country (it does) and many others without looking too outlandish. So I managed to find this one name that is spread out all over many countries, and it also happens to be used in astronomy, which is an interest of mine. (There are stars named for it).

So, by all means you can change your name to something if you want it to blend in more, or if like me you want it to blend in, while being at the same time elusive to racial or cultural origin, as well as a bit unusual and related to something you like.

About having to spell out names for people - previously I had a fairly normal name and people still didn't get it. The teachers at my school got the gender of it wrong (maybe it was rarer back then), and my original surname is simple but I ALWAYS have to spell it out for people because they assume I'm saying something else or they can't make head or tail of my accent so they assume it's something else. (I've had people say I sound American which is bizarre, but they seem to think I'm saying some similar-sounding word to what it actually is). So having had people fall over my very straightforward name all my life and having to spell it out for them every time anyway, I figure, who cares about spelling out the new one for people.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

Offline MeTony

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Re: Name help ?(transman)
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2018, 06:29:48 am »
My name is Tony. I’ve called myself Tony on internet for a decade.

Try out your names. How do you feel when people say your name? Does it click in your head or not? If you don’t listen to your name maybe you should try another. You will hear your name every day for the rest of your life. Chose the name that feels like you.

I am Tony. I know this. It speaks to me and I listen to this name. I’ve earlier tried different names, like Oliver, Peter and Jani. But I don’t feel like an Oliver.

Another great thing is that noone else at my current workplace is called Tony.

I also checked popular names for my age. Tony is never a top 10 name but not unusual either. List of names in your country can propably be found on internet.


Offline Elis

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Re: Name help ?(transman)
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2018, 08:41:04 am »
I'm sort of unusual it seems as I didn't use an online male persona before changing my name and I didn't go through baby books looking through 100s of names before I chose one. I just somehow stumbled upon it. What was most important to me was that I wanted something simple, not common but not to out there and something that wasn't too masculine sounding; as that wouldn't suit my personality.

All other androgynous names sounded too bizarre so I just went with this one. Over time it grew on me. It frustrates me that for some reason people spell it or pronounce it wrong; but that seems to happen for everyone; regardless how common their name is.

To add interestingly my name is originally Eastern European but is gradually become more common as an English name in the UK. It's sometimes even used as a female name.

I'm comfortable with it. I have to live with hearing it day in and out so ultimately it's my choice what I call myself. I didn't want to look through 1000s of names so happy that I just settled with one
They/them pronouns preferred.

Tags: name trans man ftm