Author Topic: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl  (Read 18070 times)

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Online Steph2.0

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #460 on: February 19, 2019, 12:54:23 pm »
I'm sorry Stephanie but if it was Haagen-Dazs chocolate chocolate chip ice cream, I would not have shared either. No intention of being unfriendly at all girl. It's just that good ;D

Understandable if harsh, Donica. It wasn’t Hagen-Days, but I actually picked it out, took it out of the freezer in the store, and lovingly placed it in the cart. It’s hard to say goodbye.


Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #461 on: February 21, 2019, 04:04:23 pm »
Understandable if harsh, Donica. It wasn’t Hagen-Days, but I actually picked it out, took it out of the freezer in the store, and lovingly placed it in the cart. It’s hard to say goodbye.

Oh, don't be so melodramatic. Your half is still in the freezer and you can have it this weekend. I got myself some dark chocolate cake pops for the next time we have dessert together. I'm sure you wouldn't want any of those though.

Online Steph2.0

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #462 on: February 21, 2019, 04:10:56 pm »
Oh, don't be so melodramatic. Your half is still in the freezer and you can have it this weekend. I got myself some dark chocolate cake pops for the next time we have dessert together. I'm sure you wouldn't want any of those though.

Moi??? Melodramatic????!!! I’m shocked, SHOCKED I say!!!

Dearie me, I have the vapors! I shall have to take a miltown and retire to the sanitarium. And have me some dark chocolate cake pops.


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #463 on: February 21, 2019, 04:23:04 pm »
At the end of your labors this year, I hope you do find the opportunity to celebrate, honor yourself, and rejoice in finding your true self and living your life fully.   You have earned this.

At one time, a year seemed like such a long time away. Considering how it seems like only a few weeks have gone by since I was feeling overwhelmed by all that lay ahead. Now, we're already in the third week of February and I'm sure the year will go by pretty quickly with all the things that are in store.

I will definitely make the time to celebrate when it's all over. I don't think it will be as zen-like as yours. It may be a quiet, intimate evening with a few of my closest friends or it might be a huge blowout involving lots of loud music and adult beverages, to which friends, new and old, will be invited.

Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #464 on: February 21, 2019, 04:23:50 pm »
Moi??? Melodramatic????!!! I’m shocked, SHOCKED I say!!!

Dearie me, I have the vapors! I shall have to take a miltown and retire to the sanitarium. And have me some dark chocolate cake pops.

Bless your heart!  ;D

Online Steph2.0

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #465 on: February 21, 2019, 04:45:31 pm »


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #466 on: February 22, 2019, 04:09:14 am »
If I didn't know better I would think you two liked each other, but I know love when I see it!
My journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
My National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out - Jessica Rose
My GCS Thread - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose
23 Mar 2017 - Started Estradiol
16 Feb 2018 - Out at work / Full Time!
21 Feb 2019 - GCS w/Dr. Ley
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot



Offline Michelle_P

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Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #467 on: February 22, 2019, 10:31:48 am »
If I didn't know better I would think you two liked each other, but I know love when I see it!

Yeah, all of this oddly familiar banter!  But, alas, without any honey badgers!
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
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Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #468 on: February 28, 2019, 05:35:10 am »
Yeah, all of this oddly familiar banter!  But, alas, without any honey badgers!


I am the Honey Badger!

Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #469 on: February 28, 2019, 06:07:16 am »
Candle burning at both ends

Rough night last night.

Yesterday was a day of mostly frustration over how much there is to do and the list that just keeps getting longer - both at work and at home.

Things keep getting heaped upon my shoulders at very short notice with little time to prepare. I've been asked to give presentations on subject matter with which I'm familiar but I end up having to "wing it" and am not satisfied with the results.

People second-guess my assessment of a problem on something I work with almost daily yet they have never touched it. When I'm asked what the status is of one of the pending projects, I have a prepared mental list of what I have been doing, plus all of the other things that have been slotted into my schedule ahead of everything else...again and again and again.

Driving home last night, after making what amounts to a kamikaze run on Target, I had a chance to chat with my beau...but my phone was having none of that and I had to give it up before plowing into one of the billions of orange barrels which are spreading plague-like across the roadways in central Florida. I got home, and had to unload very heavy containers of cat-stuff, all the while trying to not trip over the writhing horde of hungry felines outside my door. In doing so, it feels like I pulled a shoulder muscle. This comes after I thought I had already learned what my new physical limits are. Yay.

One of the cats swiped at my hand while I was reaching for the food bowl. I reacted reflexively and swatted her with the back of my hand. Not very hard but I instantly regretted it and started crying. That was the last straw. Having been held back for the last few hours, the tears started to flow. I continued with the feeding process, uncaringly throwing can lids on the ground as I dished out the wet food.

Upon going inside, I just turned off the lights, got undressed, and crawled into bed. I'd had enough and was ready to not be conscious anymore.

Being much better rested this morning, I realize that a lot of the stress was due to a few things: lack of sleep and coming home to a house that needs cleaning but I can't seem to find the energy or the desire to get anything done. Maybe I'm also just tired of so many expectations. I need to take better care of myself in so many ways. The only way to take time for myself seems to be to make the time but then that puts me into a sleep deficit, thus starting the cycle anew.

Good things are coming though. I've got a date with FacialTeam in June so that will be a good two weeks away from work. It will be two weeks away from my fur babies too, unfortunately. I haven't been away from them that long in, probably more than a decade. It's going to be hard but at least I know someone who is reliable and can take care of them during that time. Still, I worry about them when I'm gone.

I debated whether or not to write all of this but as Stephanie puts it, I'm not going to just write about the good stuff and filter out everything bad. This is how life is. It's not all lollipops and rainbows and sometimes it gets to be too much.

I finished my coffee with a long sigh and got a plaintive meow from the cat snuggled up against my leg.

Time to start another day.

Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #470 on: March 12, 2019, 04:35:11 pm »
Dude, where's my table?

Last Wednesday, I decided to go and have lunch a little late at one of my favorite restaurants just down the street from where I work. They were pretty busy at that time of day but they found me a table and sat me right away. I ordered a cup of soup and the salad bar, which is my usual there. After finishing my soup, I stood to walk over to the salad bar and another woman had just stepped up before me. It turned out that she was a "browser". You know the type.

Eventually, I got my salad put together and turned around to see...no empty tables in the room. Confused, I looked up and down the row of occupied tables, trying to remember where I was or if I was just losing my mind - a distinct possibility, mind you. Once oriented on what had been my table, I walked up and said to one of the ladies seated there, "Excuse me, is there a little purple wallet on the seat next to you?"

I had left it there, thinking that my trip to the salad bar would be quick and no one would disturb it. Thankfully, it was there and served as proof that I had been there prior to my quest for greens. When she handed it to me, the other woman said incredulously, "They gave away your table? Oh, I'm so sorry! We'll ask for another one." All I could do was smile and laugh at the absurdity of the situation which was quickly remedied by the staff.

This is by far one of the most bizarre things that has happened to me in a restaurant. I can't help but wonder if they would have even noticed if I had just put down my plate of salad and walked out. Thinking back, there have been a few weird occurrences in that particular establishment. I think it's time to take them off the list for a while.

 A tense phone call from my director at work served to bludgeon the smile right off my face, however.

Offline Donica

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #471 on: March 14, 2019, 05:57:53 pm »
OH MY GOD!!! I can't believe they did that either. I have never had that happen but I usually dine in numbers. I hope the maître d gave you a free lunch?
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2017, Full time July 9, 2018.
Started FHR August 9, 2018, Started VFT September 19, 2018, Name and Gender change October 19. 2018.

Offline SassyCassie

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #472 on: March 18, 2019, 04:11:45 pm »
OH MY GOD!!! I can't believe they did that either. I have never had that happen but I usually dine in numbers. I hope the maître d gave you a free lunch?

I actually didn't stick around long enough to find out. I got a call from work about a serious issue we had and had to get out of there. I couldn't wait for my server to bring the check and process it and all that so I threw down a 20 on the table and ran back to work. Needless to say, I'll be putting that place on hiatus for a while.

The crisis at work ended up being something that was a potential RGE (Resume Generating Event) for me. I was under quite a bit of stress for almost a full week, fearing and preparing for the worst. So far, they haven't told me to stop showing up every morning so I hope my fears were unfounded.

Offline Jessica_Rose

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Re: Cassandra's Tale - The Making of a Brave New Girl
« Reply #473 on: Yesterday at 11:04:16 pm »
Several years ago when I was still an angry male, my anger would occasionally escape at work and that caused more than one 'RGE'. I would go to work every day wondering if my access card would unlock the door, and if my password would still be valid. Those feelings lasted over a year. It was a very difficult period in my life. I hope everything works out well for you Cassie.

Love always -- Jessica Rose
My journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
My National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out - Jessica Rose
My GCS Thread - GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose
23 Mar 2017 - Started Estradiol
16 Feb 2018 - Out at work / Full Time!
21 Feb 2019 - GCS w/Dr. Ley
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot



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