Author Topic: Jess’s mess  (Read 18518 times)

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Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #420 on: August 09, 2018, 09:44:39 am »
Jess, I'm here to show my support to you. You are loved and appreciated. Thank you for being my friend and I'm here for you whenever you need me.

Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #421 on: August 09, 2018, 04:55:51 pm »
So friends, I forced the issue on my uncommunicative wife.
It was a matter of stopping me from crying.  She listened, we talked, we hugged.
She has a much better understanding where I am at. 
Then we got mani/pedis 🌸🌸🌸

As a recap, I have been trying to get her to talk about her feelings for a year and she was entirely resistant.  She kept saying she was processing it...
She has from the beginning assured me that she was not going to leave me and she loved me very much. 
 Things are much better now, transgender issues have come up in common communication today and not just about me, but in general of how hard things are for transgender people.

One thing she learned was that forestalling communication is the wrong move.  It’s best to discuss as soon as possible! 

Hugs and smiles, Jess

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #422 on: August 09, 2018, 05:15:18 pm »
So friends, I forced the issue on my uncommunicative wife.
It was a matter of stopping me from crying.  She listened, we talked, we hugged.
She has a much better understanding where I am at. 
Then we got mani/pedis 🌸🌸🌸

As a recap, I have been trying to get her to talk about her feelings for a year and she was entirely resistant.  She kept saying she was processing it...
She has from the beginning assured me that she was not going to leave me and she loved me very much. 
 Things are much better now, transgender issues have come up in common communication today and not just about me, but in general of how hard things are for transgender people.

One thing she learned was that forestalling communication is the wrong move.  It’s best to discuss as soon as possible!
 

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica:
Dear Jess: 
Well, this is certainly a good report...   and the mani/pedis together with your lover will usually do more to heal hurt feelings than flowers, cards, or dinner out.

Yes indeed, it is so very true, not talking about or discussing difficult issues with our life partners or people that are very important to us in our lives, will not make problems go away, the problems will only fester like an infected sore... and eventually blow up.

Again, Jess, I am very happy to read this latest report of yours... 

.... oh, and where is the photo of your mani/pedi salon visit? ???   
Please remember what we say here, "Pictures or it didn't happen"

Hugs and continued well wishes for your happiness.
Danielle



Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
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Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #423 on: August 09, 2018, 07:56:53 pm »

@Alaskan Danielle



I again forgot to take pictures at the salon.  This pic is second best.
I get builder gel on my nails. 
Flexible, strong and they don’t need to be removed each time (reducing chemical exposure). 
You can add polish over them. Remove it and give a different color as many times you want
They just buff then add.  I go in ever 3-4 weeks. 
I love them!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline KathyLauren

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #424 on: August 09, 2018, 08:05:41 pm »


I again forgot to take pictures at the salon.  This pic is second best.
I get builder gel on my nails. 
Flexible, strong and they don’t need to be removed each time (reducing chemical exposure). 
You can add polish over them. Remove it and give a different color as many times you want
They just buff then add.  I go in ever 3-4 weeks. 
I love them!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Pics!  Yay, it did happen!

They look lovely, Jess!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change

Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #425 on: August 09, 2018, 08:13:19 pm »
@KathyLauren

Pics!  Yay, it did happen!

They look lovely, Jess!

Thank you Kathy 🌸🌸🌸
It’s incredible how just having pretty nails make you feel so good!

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #426 on: August 09, 2018, 08:44:05 pm »
@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you for posting that great picture showing the pretty results of your manicure....
It is the little things like this that make one feel more feminine....   pretty pastel color too.
Were you toe nails done the same color? 
Hugs,
Danielle
Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Offline LizK

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #427 on: August 09, 2018, 08:48:13 pm »
@Alaskan Danielle



I again forgot to take pictures at the salon.  This pic is second best.
I get builder gel on my nails. 
Flexible, strong and they don’t need to be removed each time (reducing chemical exposure). 
You can add polish over them. Remove it and give a different color as many times you want
They just buff then add.  I go in ever 3-4 weeks. 
I love them!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

They look great Jess...I like the idea that they are really hardy....they can obviously stand up to some punishment.

Liz
HRT since 17 May 2016, Fulltime from 8 March 2017, Transition Begun 25 September 2015 

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be – Lao Tzu

Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #428 on: August 09, 2018, 08:55:13 pm »
@Alaskan Danielle

@Jessica
Dear Jess:
Thank you for posting that great picture showing the pretty results of your manicure....
It is the little things like this that make one feel more feminine....   pretty pastel color too.
Were you toe nails done the same color? 
Hugs,
Danielle

Yes I did, but only close.  I don’t have builder gel on them, so the best choice was a peach.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #429 on: August 09, 2018, 10:38:05 pm »
So friends, I forced the issue on my uncommunicative wife.
It was a matter of stopping me from crying.  She listened, we talked, we hugged.
She has a much better understanding where I am at. 
Then we got mani/pedis

As a recap, I have been trying to get her to talk about her feelings for a year and she was entirely resistant.  She kept saying she was processing it...
She has from the beginning assured me that she was not going to leave me and she loved me very much. 
 Things are much better now, transgender issues have come up in common communication today and not just about me, but in general of how hard things are for transgender people.

One thing she learned was that forestalling communication is the wrong move.  It’s best to discuss as soon as possible! 

Hugs and smiles, Jess
I'm glad that things are going well Jess. Have fun tonight!

Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #430 on: August 09, 2018, 11:27:14 pm »
@Charlie Nicki

I'm glad that things are going well Jess. Have fun tonight!

Thank you Dan!  Nice music and wine was good for my running gal pals and I to enjoy!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

ps: I’m glad you had fun with your friends tonight!!!

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Stevi

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #431 on: August 10, 2018, 06:54:43 am »
Jess,

I was unaware of the "builder gel" nail option.  Looks good on you.  I am thinking of that approach rather than having the extensions glued on.

I am one of the many that tries really hard to keep up with you and the many others I have come to know and love here.  There are more than 20 journal threads I try to follow as closely as time permits.  I am sure there are many more I could find and follow in sections of Susan's that I can't find the time to delve into.  I have my own journal to maintain as well.  I am a slow reader and a slow writer.  Over these past years I have no idea what I would have done without all the comradery with and among all of you.  In the early time I was a lurker.  It is only recently that I have become an active member of the community here.  Without my years of almost silent following of the girls and guys here I could never have reached the point I am at now.  You are a most valuable part of that for me.  I know that your concern was just a hiccup (I know that was not what it felt like at the time.) in your journey but it did not go by unnoticed by me.

I am really pleased you and your wife have found a better place to be in your relationship.

Thanks for being you and being here,
Stevi

Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #432 on: August 10, 2018, 09:00:41 am »
@Stevi

Jess,

I was unaware of the "builder gel" nail option.  Looks good on you.  I am thinking of that approach rather than having the extensions glued on.

I am one of the many that tries really hard to keep up with you and the many others I have come to know and love here.  There are more than 20 journal threads I try to follow as closely as time permits.  I am sure there are many more I could find and follow in sections of Susan's that I can't find the time to delve into.  I have my own journal to maintain as well.  I am a slow reader and a slow writer.  Over these past years I have no idea what I would have done without all the comradery with and among all of you.  In the early time I was a lurker.  It is only recently that I have become an active member of the community here.  Without my years of almost silent following of the girls and guys here I could never have reached the point I am at now.  You are a most valuable part of that for me.  I know that your concern was just a hiccup (I know that was not what it felt like at the time.) in your journey but it did not go by unnoticed by me.

I am really pleased you and your wife have found a better place to be in your relationship.

Thanks for being you and being here,
Stevi

Thank you Stevi 🌸🌸🌸
I very much appreciate you reaching out to me!  There are many member journals that are all valid and necessary for their growth.  Most have their following, some get missed in the shuffle.

Making friends on Susan’s Place is relatively easy considering our common bond.  This creates trust in each other allowing the free flow of thoughts and ideas.  I do acknowledge that the many “readers” (I prefer that over “lurkers”) learn from the experiences of like minded individuals. 

I hadn’t realized that my story made an impact on anyone until re-evaluating it and from comments like yours.  I’m so happy I’ve been a positive influence that has helped you, that is my objective.  You’ve made me smile and warm with this revelation.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline LizK

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #433 on: August 10, 2018, 07:18:05 pm »
Jess I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to being slack on my thread. When I look at the number of reads my thread has, I know that not everyone who reads posts, in fact the vast majority don't. I am like you in that I did not realise that there were many more people following along with my journey silently.

jI feel a sense of comradeship with all who participate in my thread whether by commenting or just reading along. If I actively encourage people to read along with my thread then I have a duty to do my bit and make the content at least regular.  ;)
Take care
Liz
HRT since 17 May 2016, Fulltime from 8 March 2017, Transition Begun 25 September 2015 

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be – Lao Tzu

Offline Jessica

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #434 on: August 11, 2018, 12:55:23 am »
Jess I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to being slack on my thread. When I look at the number of reads my thread has, I know that not everyone who reads posts, in fact the vast majority don't. I am like you in that I did not realise that there were many more people following along with my journey silently.

jI feel a sense of comradeship with all who participate in my thread whether by commenting or just reading along. If I actively encourage people to read along with my thread then I have a duty to do my bit and make the content at least regular.  ;)
Take care
Liz

I do agree Liz, I am making a concerted effort to do better at posts, comments and reply’s.  Everyone helping each other is what makes Susan’s Place special!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Faith

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #435 on: August 11, 2018, 07:47:35 am »
 :icon_wave:

another lurker pointing out that they actually read this mess. I think I've actually posted in here somewhere ..
As you've already been told, Don't stop now. If I have nothing to read I might have to actually work when I'm at work .. ACK!!



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Offline Michelle_P

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #436 on: August 11, 2018, 08:30:49 am »
Just a quick note:  thank you for the update , and I am glad to read that communication is open between you and your spouse.

That is incredibly important.

You two enjoy your oasis, and I’ll see you soon.


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Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #437 on: August 11, 2018, 10:01:48 am »
I do agree Liz, I am making a concerted effort to do better at posts, comments and reply’s. Everyone helping each other is what makes Susan’s Place special!

Hugs and smiles, Jess

@Jessica
My dear Jess:   
Not to worry.... as I frequently do for you and for other members that have threads that they don't keep updated as regularly as I think that they should I am the self-appointed forums "badger" (not one of the honeybadgers) that is more than willing to politely and firmly needle, prod, and nudge my forums friends to keep their threads up to date. 
(Many others members like   @LizK   @amberwaves   @christinej78   @Chelsea    @Jayne01    @sarah1972   @Sonja  can personally testify to my self-appointed efforts)

As you know, I am a firm believer in our personal threads being used as our own journals that we can write out, express, and explore our successes, our failures, our happy moments and our not so happy moments.
 
When we have issues and circumstances going on in our lives than cause emotional highs or depressing lows it can be so helpful to explore our feelings in our journals... and as we do it gives us an opportunity to formulate positive solutions instead of stewing about our problems and stuck in the mode of being depressed about our situation. 

When we share all of these things with our Forums friends we can receive uplifting, affirming and confidence building support, and helpful comments and suggestions from our like-minded followers and readers of our threads. 

Of course all of us have much more personal issues that we don't feel comfortable posting about on the forums...  for that I keep a pen and paper journal complete with doodling that I can work out and ponder issues in my mind before they become critical and debilitating.  Writing things out can be very therapeutic.

All of this can be encouraging and helpful to others that read what is posted by us and by others.   As has been mentioned, we all  have our regular followers but also we all have many more readers (and lurkers) that stop by our threads... we will never know how many individuals are positively affected by our writings on our own threads and all around the forums on other various threads.

So, Jess, it is good that I didn't have to give you a 3rd warning about keeping your thread up to date....
it might have gotten interesting if I did......

Thank you for keeping us all up to date with your life endeavors.
Hugs and all of my well-wishes,
Danielle






Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Offline RandyL

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #438 on: August 11, 2018, 10:44:51 am »
Ok, so after lurking for awhile I came across Jess's Mess. Sounds a bit like me! Reading backwards from the end I see how Jess nearly caused a disruption in the Force through a premature end, and glad she hasn't.

I'm not sure where you are on the NB spectrum these days, Jess. I dropped in on the NB threads from a year ago and saw some of what you said there. I'm definitely questioning and working through some of those issues myself.

Anyway, enough reading on the tiny screen while sitting outdoors at the coffee shop. Gotta go make a day of it!

Love Randy

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If so, then why not?

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Jess’s mess
« Reply #439 on: August 12, 2018, 04:02:25 pm »
@Stevi

Thank you Stevi 🌸🌸🌸
I very much appreciate you reaching out to me!  There are many member journals that are all valid and necessary for their growth.  Most have their following, some get missed in the shuffle.

Making friends on Susan’s Place is relatively easy considering our common bond.  This creates trust in each other allowing the free flow of thoughts and ideas.  I do acknowledge that the many “readers” (I prefer that over “lurkers”) learn from the experiences of like minded individuals. 

I hadn’t realized that my story made an impact on anyone until re-evaluating it and from comments like yours.  I’m so happy I’ve been a positive influence that has helped you, that is my objective.  You’ve made me smile and warm with this revelation.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

Jess, you've been a really good influence for me as well. Even when you're feeling down, you have this positive and upbeat attitude and vibe that I absolutely love. You're like a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm, and that's awesome! Love you girl!!