Author Topic: Bari Jo's Corner  (Read 12287 times)

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Offline Bari Jo

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #420 on: June 14, 2018, 08:35:04 pm »
I keep having minor coming outs that are just amazing.  My latest is on a private group I belong to where each member builds electronic games.  Three of the members started texting me over a few days to congratulate me and offer support.  It was so lovely, I got choked up so many times chatting with these three.  I know building games is just a hobby for me currently but I pour my heart and soul into these games and being accepted by my peers is so gratifying.

I go by Bari Jo there and have been for about three months.  Nobody really noticed, even though my profile picture is the same there as here.  What tipped off the group makes me think how small the world is.  One member of the women's pinball group is a cousin of someone in the game group.  They each live in separate states.  People talk and it all turned out well.

I am amazed that so many people support and accept me.  I need to learn from that to accept myself more.  In that vein, I am going to start wearing a tiny transgender pride flag pin.  It's not to say look at me I am trans, it's more of a reminder to myself that it's okay to be trans.

That is all for today.

Bari Jo
I'm going to attempt to use my own pictures only from now on.  I will have a bit of makeup, but want me to show through now.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #421 on: June 15, 2018, 01:16:36 am »
I keep having minor coming outs that are just amazing.  My latest is on a private group I belong to where each member builds electronic games.  Three of the members started texting me over a few days to congratulate me and offer support.  It was so lovely, I got choked up so many times chatting with these three.  I know building games is just a hobby for me currently but I pour my heart and soul into these games and being accepted by my peers is so gratifying.

I go by Bari Jo there and have been for about three months.  Nobody really noticed, even though my profile picture is the same there as here.  What tipped off the group makes me think how small the world is.  One member of the women's pinball group is a cousin of someone in the game group.  They each live in separate states.  People talk and it all turned out well.

I am amazed that so many people support and accept me.  I need to learn from that to accept myself more.  In that vein, I am going to start wearing a tiny transgender pride flag pin.  It's not to say look at me I am trans, it's more of a reminder to myself that it's okay to be trans.

That is all for today.

Bari Jo
Congratulations, Bari Jo, on another successful coming out. You are a great person and the people in your group like you, the person, irrespective of gender.

Such a coincidence with the connection between your pinball group and the game group. I’m so happy it worked out well.

Wearing the trans pin m, for yourself, is a nice idea. I was thinking of doing something similar with a necklace pendant. I should start searching around to see if there are any nice pendants that I like. Small gestures such as this for ourselves are a good way to maintain a positive outlook. Be proud of who you are.

Hugs,
Jayne



Offline Roll

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #422 on: June 15, 2018, 10:26:09 pm »
I am amazed that so many people support and accept me.  I need to learn from that to accept myself more.  In that vein, I am going to start wearing a tiny transgender pride flag pin.  It's not to say look at me I am trans, it's more of a reminder to myself that it's okay to be trans.

That's my feeling with my trans flag as well. It's not an advertisement, just... I dunno exactly, it's something that makes me feel like I am being honest with the world even if I'm not dressing the part at the moment. Plus the potential outreach to others.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!

Only 3 people left to come out to until it just becomes public knowledge.


Offline Bari Jo

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #423 on: June 17, 2018, 04:28:55 pm »
At work I got asked about the pin.  They asked if it was the Israeli flag of all things.  I told them they don't want to know.  I immediately felt like crying and had to excuse myself.  This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted of the pin.  I came back and had a sit down with the person and explained that I was sorry and I am wearing it to help me deal with shame, and it's a transgender pride pin.  He immediately said I picked a great month for it.  I felt better and was able to complete my day.  Oh, that was hard, but I got through it.

Onto good stuff.  I saw Incredibles 2, and loved it.  I have a new female idol and she's from the movie.  Her name is Evelyn Deavor and she's a designer much like myself.  She's got style and short hair, and her makeup is like mine.  I am totally copying her look.  I know I'm a dorky fangirl!  Here's a pict of her looks!



Bari Jo
I'm going to attempt to use my own pictures only from now on.  I will have a bit of makeup, but want me to show through now.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #424 on: June 17, 2018, 04:57:25 pm »
At work I got asked about the pin.  They asked if it was the Israeli flag of all things.  I told them they don't want to know.  I immediately felt like crying and had to excuse myself.  This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted of the pin.  I came back and had a sit down with the person and explained that I was sorry and I am wearing it to help me deal with shame, and it's a transgender pride pin.  He immediately said I picked a great month for it.  I felt better and was able to complete my day.  Oh, that was hard, but I got through it.

Onto good stuff.  I saw Incredibles 2, and loved it.  I have a new female idol and she's from the movie.  Her name is Evelyn Deavor and she's a designer much like myself.  She's got style and short hair, and her makeup is like mine.  I am totally copying her look.  I know I'm a dorky fangirl!  Here's a pict of her looks!



Bari Jo
Bari Jo, well done on turning things around with the pin incident. You initially had a reaction you didn’t expect or want, took some time to collect yourself and went right back to have a talk with the person. As a result, you started feeling better. In the end, the pin had the exact effect you wanted it to, it made you feel proud and also helped you to deal with some issues. (((Hug)))

Incidentally, you have inspired me to find something for myself to wear for transgender pride. I was thinking a necklace or bracelet. I found a few online but they would all need to be shipped from overseas and I really would like something before this month is over. I will look in the shops today while I am in the city. If I don’t find anything, I might buy some beads and make my own necklace with the transgender pride colours.

Hugs,
Jayne



Offline Jessica

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #425 on: June 21, 2018, 09:30:40 pm »
At work I got asked about the pin.  They asked if it was the Israeli flag of all things.  I told them they don't want to know.  I immediately felt like crying and had to excuse myself.  This was exactly the opposite of what I wanted of the pin.  I came back and had a sit down with the person and explained that I was sorry and I am wearing it to help me deal with shame, and it's a transgender pride pin.  He immediately said I picked a great month for it.  I felt better and was able to complete my day.  Oh, that was hard, but I got through it.

Onto good stuff.  I saw Incredibles 2, and loved it.  I have a new female idol and she's from the movie.  Her name is Evelyn Deavor and she's a designer much like myself.  She's got style and short hair, and her makeup is like mine.  I am totally copying her look.  I know I'm a dorky fangirl!  Here's a pict of her looks!



Bari Jo

I just saw Incredibles 2 also with my grandson.  I told him that Edna Mode (she designs all the Incredibles clothing now in perpetuity) was my new favorite.

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Bari Jo

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #426 on: June 22, 2018, 02:37:23 pm »
Onto more things...  This weekend is OC pride, which I plan on attending.  I still feel no pride, but I'm forcing myself to remain visible.

I am also out now to a childhood friend that has a trans daughter.  She saw my picts on Facebook and my posts and guessed correctly that I am like her daughter.

Ive come out to a couple other relatives by request too, and they are all supportive.  I am not comfortable coming out to any more people right now mainly because I don't feel femme or look femme. I look like a gay man, which in my opinion, I've always been mistaken for a gay man.  Transition sucks.  In a few weeks, I will be able to dye my hair again, and this time it'll be all about pushing my femininity. I'm thinking pink or very light purple.

And one more thing.  I bought a dance pad and I love it.  This is now part of my losing weight regimen. The one I bought, can be rolled up and taken on trips.  I may get a nicer sturdy one for home.

Bari Jo
« Last Edit: June 23, 2018, 06:55:54 am by Bari Jo »
I'm going to attempt to use my own pictures only from now on.  I will have a bit of makeup, but want me to show through now.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Offline Bari Jo

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  • fear, shame, you won't own me forever!
Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #427 on: Yesterday at 04:19:50 pm »
Pride fest was here in santa ana this weekend, and I went along with a couple of pinball ladies that I have befriended. I was mainly there to enjoy drinks with the ladies, the actual pride part with bands and booths were secondary.  We went to three different locations and had drinks and at each successive location the drinks seemed stronger and the conversation more personal. I was surprised just how many things the girls revealed to me.  I think maybe I'm a good listener, or just I gave off the friend vibe. It made me feel wonderful that these ladies accepted me enough to talk openly.  One girl in particular I really hit it off with. She's beautiful and tall, six foot, and hilariously complained that her fingernails were too manish.  She liked mine better, which I laughed inside.  Anyway, she's a geek like me, likes beer (rated every beer we had), and builds things.  I can see us becoming fast friends.

It feels wonderful having an experience like this.  I'm still feeling a little high from it.  It seems weird, but I can see how this intimacy and closeness can be a craving.  Maybe I will be less of an introvert the more I'm out.

Bari Jo
I'm going to attempt to use my own pictures only from now on.  I will have a bit of makeup, but want me to show through now.

11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

Offline Roll

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  • Behold, my new invention: Beef-fed Grass
Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #428 on: Yesterday at 11:03:37 pm »

It feels wonderful having an experience like this.  I'm still feeling a little high from it.  It seems weird, but I can see how this intimacy and closeness can be a craving.  Maybe I will be less of an introvert the more I'm out.

Bari Jo

That has definitely been the case for me, it has been really strange. It's like a complete 180.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!

Only 3 people left to come out to until it just becomes public knowledge.


Offline Jessica

  • "If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."
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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #429 on: Yesterday at 11:13:58 pm »
Pride fest was here in santa ana this weekend, and I went along with a couple of pinball ladies that I have befriended. I was mainly there to enjoy drinks with the ladies, the actual pride part with bands and booths were secondary.  We went to three different locations and had drinks and at each successive location the drinks seemed stronger and the conversation more personal. I was surprised just how many things the girls revealed to me.  I think maybe I'm a good listener, or just I gave off the friend vibe. It made me feel wonderful that these ladies accepted me enough to talk openly.  One girl in particular I really hit it off with. She's beautiful and tall, six foot, and hilariously complained that her fingernails were too manish.  She liked mine better, which I laughed inside.  Anyway, she's a geek like me, likes beer (rated every beer we had), and builds things.  I can see us becoming fast friends.

It feels wonderful having an experience like this.  I'm still feeling a little high from it.  It seems weird, but I can see how this intimacy and closeness can be a craving.  Maybe I will be less of an introvert the more I'm out.

Bari Jo

I know I feel like I’m one of the girls when out for mani/pedis with my girlfriends.  It’s an acceptance that makes me more comfortable with my own personal truth.

Hugs and smiles, Jess

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Steph2.0

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Re: Bari Jo's Corner
« Reply #430 on: Today at 07:16:16 am »
Oh yes!! That’s fantastic, Bari Jo! Those types of interactions are so important and affirming, and so necessary to moving forward. I love seeing you taking step after step toward your goal, and all the positive results. Congratulations, girlfriend!

Stephanie


Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/11/2017 * GCS Consultation at Mt. Sinai 3/16/2018

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