Author Topic: What's your worst bullying experience?  (Read 872 times)

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Offline Julia1996

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What's your worst bullying experience?
« on: January 20, 2018, 11:27:27 am »
Hi everyone. I've seen so many threads with a description of bullying that I came to realize a huge number of trans people were bullied in school, not just me. This isn't meant to be triggering it's meant to be therapeutic.  It helps to talk about it with people who can relate. At least for me it does. So share your bullying experiences. And this is for the guys too. FtM people get bullied too, not just MtFs.

I was just too good of a target. Albino and a huge sissy on top of that was too good for other kids to pass up. I was lucky enough that I didn't actually get beat up. I'm pretty sure that was because of my brother. He had made it clear that he would beat the crap out of anyone who hit me and because he had done it a couple of times he had a reputation of someone not to be messed with. But of course there are endless ways to bully someone without beating them up.

I got tripped, my books knocked out of my arms, my food spit on and of course the endless name calling and being laughed at all the time. This one dickheaded guy loved to stomp on ketchup packets so I would get sprayed with ketchup.  You would think someone would have intervened but teachers didn't like me much more than the other kids.The worst 2 incidents were having blue food coloring thrown in my face. It ruined my clothes and totally stained my skin and hair. It took forever to wear off of my face and it permanently stained my hair. But I just adopted blue streaks as part of my style. It matched my nails at least. The asshole who did it told me I had needed some color in my face. The second was when some boys sprayed liquid plastic all over my hair which dried very hard. I had shoulder length hair at the time. The only way my dad could get it out was to cut it out along with my hair which made such a mess of my hair all he could do was buzz the rest to match.

And I found it infuriating that guys would call me fagot,homo,fudge packer, etc,etc but then they would turn around and tease me sexually. Blow me kisses, smack my ass, etc. The other guys found it hilarious when someone would do that stuff to me. But I was the "fagot" .   I did get an apology from one bully. I ran into him in public and he apologized for the stuff he had done to me. His explanation was that I "confused"  him and a lot of the other guys. I accepted his apology and told him I forgave him. But saying I had confused him is a piss poor excuse for bullying me.

I was also sexually assaulted by a guy at school who was helped by some other guys. I elaborated on that in the Me Too thread. He forced me to suck his dick but I was the fag of course. The only good thing I can say about high school is that it ended!
Julia


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Offline ChrissyRyan

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2018, 11:41:21 am »
Oh my.

I am so sorry all that bad stuff happened to you during your high school years. That is awful.
There is no excuse for that, and the assault was criminal.  It is nice that you had your brother being there for support.

Girls can be mean as well as guys too.  Guys perhaps are more outward, especially physically, or at least, that is what I have seen from back in my school days.  But anyone can be hurtful at any age.  When you are different or look different or even are similar but not in an “in group”, ridicule and otherwise being the object of unkindness does occur and it can be hurtful.

Think of happy moments.


Offline Dani

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2018, 11:49:33 am »
Don't leave out parents. My most abusive person is a paternal entity who I refuse to call a father.

He slapped me around for trivial offences and generally terrorized me. This was not discipline. It was abusive beatings. At age 14, I was in foster care and happy to be away from the creep.



Offline Julia1996

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2018, 11:54:00 am »
Don't leave out parents. My most abusive person is a paternal entity who I refuse to call a father.

He slapped me around for trivial offences and generally terrorized me. This was not discipline. It was abusive beatings. At age 14, I was in foster care and happy to be away from the creep.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thankfully I have a very loving father. My mom not so much but I was never physically abused by her. Not until recently anyway.
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Offline Julia1996

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2018, 12:02:40 pm »
Oh my.

I am so sorry all that bad stuff happened to you during your high school years. That is awful.
There is no excuse for that, and the assault was criminal.  It is nice that you had your brother being there for support.

Girls can be mean as well as guys too.  Guys perhaps are more outward, especially physically, or at least, that is what I have seen from back in my school days.  But anyone can be hurtful at any age.  When you are different or look different or even are similar but not in an “in group”, ridicule and otherwise being the object of unkindness does occur and it can be hurtful.

Think of happy moments.

Oh I know they can be. Once in class the girl behind me was touching my hair and when I turned around she said she liked my hair and asked if she could brush it. So like a dummy I said yes. Whenever the teacher wasn't looking I would feel her brush my hair. It wasnt until class was over that I realized she had coated the back of my hair with mascara. It took forever to wash it out! I don't know why, maybe because it's so white, but people always wanted to mess with my hair. I had people put all kinds of stuff in my hair. Ketchup, colored marker, etc.
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Offline Sephirah

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2018, 12:10:41 pm »
The "worst" experiences, for me, came from people who claimed to be my friends.

I had some stuff from people who weren't. Although it was girls who were the worst, for some reason. Most of the guys in my class at school never really bothered with me, as a rule, I kind of flew under the radar, although there were these two girls in my class who kept doing trivial stuff, pushing me around and whatnot... I guess because I didn't fight back. I just smiled and pretended to brush it off. But they seemed to enjoy psychological abuse and the occasional physical outburst. I guess it made them feel special or something.

No, the worst came from people who claimed to be my friends. I never had much physical bullying, although there was one guy who... well... he peed on my head from a tree he decided to climb one day. That makes me shudder to even think about. I think I went through probably two bottles of shampoo and a bottle of shower gel trying to get rid of the smell, and thought of it, lol.

But I think the worst came from the small group of people who, at the time, I considered my best friends. Particularly two guys. One I went on holiday with him and his family, and the other I used to go to his house pretty much every weekend. We were... well, I thought we were close. Then the start of one school year, for no apparent reason, they both decided, along with another guy, to make my life a misery. Not with physical actions, but psychological. Words can hurt as much as any physical violence. Especially when they're leveled at your whole family as well as yourself. Constantly, and with venom. But it wasn't what they said that bothered me so much as the fact that they said it. I thought they were my friends and I don't think I've ever felt more alone than at that time. I think that, like you, Julia, I was an easy target. I didn't do the whole bravado thing. I was always a somewhat sensitive, quiet kid. And people seem to like to pick on those because they think they can.

They say that you're supposed to tell the teachers and get it dealt with, and unfortunately it reached a point where I started skipping school... and then it got out to my mum, who got in touch with the school... but it backfired spectacularly. Rather than them being punished for anything, I was put in isolation "for my own good", even though I never understood what I did wrong. And spent the rest of that year alone, at the back of a classroom, having my work brought to me.

If I'm honest, it has led to a lot of the trust issues I have, even now. I find it hard to make friends, because I find it hard to trust people. And letting people get close to me... it's something I struggle with. Stuff like that can have long lasting implications.

But... something interesting happened a few years ago. This guy who did the whole peeing from a tree thing... I happened to be listening to a radio phone in, and he called the show. I knew instantly it was him. He talked about how his life is a misery, and how he's made to feel like an outcast by almost everyone. How he turned to drugs and whatever else to try and cope with it. See this guy was big. Like... very big. While we were all 5 foot nothing kids, he was this six-five monster. I think that's why he enjoyed bullying people. But something that he felt was a blessing at a young age became a curse later on in life. And I think he was struggling with stuff himself.

At first I thought "you reap what you sow", and it was hard for me to feel sorry for him, but the more I listened to him, the more I did feel sorry for him. He spoke about how he was bullied a lot when he was a kid, because of his height, and weight... obviously not physically, but mentally. And I realised that everyone is as fragile as everyone else, and some people just take the stuff they're dealing with out on those around them. I felt sad for him, that his life had amounted to essentially nothing. Because as a kid he felt powerful over others but that didn't translate into adulthood. And that he was subject to the same things he himself was subjecting others to. The old saying "two wrongs don't make a right" was never more apt. But sadly that's something a lot of people who bully others don't seem to realise.

I try to take that into everyday life with me now, and try to understand people, and why they do what they do. Bullying leaves scars, there is no doubt about it. I am so, so sorry that happened to you, Julia, and to everyone else who has/had to put up with it. It's something that, ideally, shouldn't happen. No matter what stage one is in their lives.
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Offline Julia1996

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2018, 12:33:13 pm »
The "worst" experiences, for me, came from people who claimed to be my friends.

I had some stuff from people who weren't. Although it was girls who were the worst, for some reason. Most of the guys in my class at school never really bothered with me, as a rule, I kind of flew under the radar, although there were these two girls in my class who kept doing trivial stuff, pushing me around and whatnot... I guess because I didn't fight back. I just smiled and pretended to brush it off. But they seemed to enjoy psychological abuse and the occasional physical outburst. I guess it made them feel special or something.

No, the worst came from people who claimed to be my friends. I never had much physical bullying, although there was one guy who... well... he peed on my head from a tree he decided to climb one day. That makes me shudder to even think about. I think I went through probably two bottles of shampoo and a bottle of shower gel trying to get rid of the smell, and thought of it, lol.

But I think the worst came from the small group of people who, at the time, I considered my best friends. Particularly two guys. One I went on holiday with him and his family, and the other I used to go to his house pretty much every weekend. We were... well, I thought we were close. Then the start of one school year, for no apparent reason, they both decided, along with another guy, to make my life a misery. Not with physical actions, but psychological. Words can hurt as much as any physical violence. Especially when they're leveled at your whole family as well as yourself. Constantly, and with venom. But it wasn't what they said that bothered me so much as the fact that they said it. I thought they were my friends and I don't think I've ever felt more alone than at that time. I think that, like you, Julia, I was an easy target. I didn't do the whole bravado thing. I was always a somewhat sensitive, quiet kid. And people seem to like to pick on those because they think they can.

They say that you're supposed to tell the teachers and get it dealt with, and unfortunately it reached a point where I started skipping school... and then it got out to my mum, who got in touch with the school... but it backfired spectacularly. Rather than them being punished for anything, I was put in isolation "for my own good", even though I never understood what I did wrong. And spent the rest of that year alone, at the back of a classroom, having my work brought to me.

If I'm honest, it has led to a lot of the trust issues I have, even now. I find it hard to make friends, because I find it hard to trust people. And letting people get close to me... it's something I struggle with. Stuff like that can have long lasting implications.

But... something interesting happened a few years ago. This guy who did the whole peeing from a tree thing... I happened to be listening to a radio phone in, and he called the show. I knew instantly it was him. He talked about how his life is a misery, and how he's made to feel like an outcast by almost everyone. How he turned to drugs and whatever else to try and cope with it. See this guy was big. Like... very big. While we were all 5 foot nothing kids, he was this six-five monster. I think that's why he enjoyed bullying people. But something that he felt was a blessing at a young age became a curse later on in life. And I think he was struggling with stuff himself.

At first I thought "you reap what you sow", and it was hard for me to feel sorry for him, but the more I listened to him, the more I did feel sorry for him. He spoke about how he was bullied a lot when he was a kid, because of his height, and weight... obviously not physically, but mentally. And I realised that everyone is as fragile as everyone else, and some people just take the stuff they're dealing with out on those around them. I felt sad for him, that his life had amounted to essentially nothing. Because as a kid he felt powerful over others but that didn't translate into adulthood. And that he was subject to the same things he himself was subjecting others to. The old saying "two wrongs don't make a right" was never more apt. But sadly that's something a lot of people who bully others don't seem to realise.

I try to take that into everyday life with me now, and try to understand people, and why they do what they do. Bullying leaves scars, there is no doubt about it. I am so, so sorry that happened to you, Julia, and to everyone else who has/had to put up with it. It's something that, ideally, shouldn't happen. No matter what stage one is in their lives.

I'm very sorry for what you went through too. This stuff does have a lasting effect. Since I was excused from gym class there was a question of what to do with me during that period. They didn't want me just wondering the halls. A very well meaning guidance counselor decided I could spend that period in a room over the library that was used for storage.  She figured I could just sit up there and read,  play on my phone or whatever. Most people didn't even know the room was there which unfortunately made it ideal for that guy to sexually assault me.
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Offline amandam

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2018, 12:49:03 pm »
Mine was just a lot of little things, usually just people saying things. One guy punched me in the hallway. He was too big to fight, not that I would anyway. I learned how to "hide" a lot. I spent lunches in the library my last year of high school. I didn't have any friends. After I tried to "man up", the harassment stopped for the most part. But, once in awhile, I guess some guy could "see thru" it and look at me with that "knowing" look. Sometimes they'd say something, sometimes not.

Offline jaybutterfly

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2018, 02:09:55 pm »
physical assaults for being seen as a homosexual, effeminate male in school. Pushing, a few times I was kicked (I have a permanent indent in my right shin from one, but that kid got a horrible scratch that most likely will have scarred so I dont care)

mostly name calling, rumour mills and other stupid shit.

I dont have time to worry about the opinions of other people who will die.

Offline Geeker

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2018, 02:29:13 pm »
When I was a sophomore in highschool someone came out of the art room as I passed by (it was time to change classes) and cut my ponytail off, after that it was years before I grew my hair out again. Never found out who it was that did it.
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Offline Stevie

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2018, 03:38:15 pm »
  I had four older brothers two of them were very physically and verbally abusive. I have had my nose broken 3 times one time it required 12 stitches , my arm broken in two places, punched and kicked too many times to remember.
 I was stabbed by one them in my right butt cheek , my mother was an emergency room nurse and she sewed it up while I laid on the kitchen counter. I know now she did that to protect him by not having to explain how I got a stab wound.  I was told not to tell anyone and now she denies it happened I have a scar on my ass that says otherwise.
 When my brothers did stuff to me they threatened me not to tell our mom, I stopped telling her when I realized my mom would do little about it and cared more about what other people thought about her than what was happening to me.
 One them stopped being abusive after he became paraplegic, sadly I think that's the only reason he stopped. I also think he would be in jail if that did not happen to him as well.
 When I talked to a therapist about these things  he said he thought my one brothers was a psychopath and started reading me the description from the DSM manual it pretty much described him to a tee.
 

Offline Kylo

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2018, 03:50:44 pm »
I don't think I was ragged on for not looking like a girl but I was "different" and they knew it.

I wouldn't say I got it bad, and the worst case of school bullying I had was kind of my own fault. I was sitting on a wall near my house one day and a girl and a boy walked past and sneered at me. So I yelled a colorful expletive at the dominant one. From that day on they decided to try to "hunt me down" both in school and out of it; as luck would have it, this girl turned out to be the school "hard case". Lol.

It was my fault for escalating I guess, but also for not beating the crap out of them when they turned up at my house with sticks, or tried to steal my bike off me, or tried to kick me in the pool, or threw rocks and tailed me everywhere, turned my friends against me, blah blah blah. I should have finished the job if I was going to act like a hard knock myself.

Sure, they were in a gang and I was by myself but who cares. If you don't stand up for yourself you relive that crap over and over internally for the rest of your life. It's one of the reasons I can be inexplicably nasty when someone rubs me the wrong way - because of that unresolved nonsense. Anyway, they made my life as annoying as they could whenever they could for about 2 years.

I don't think I experienced any bullying after high school. Isolated incidents of people acting like jackasses perhaps but not because they had it in for me, just because I knew or encountered weirdos I suppose. In fact the most annoying incidents I've had since were because people were attracted to me and were mentalists about it, but I don't see those as bullying, just idiocy.
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Offline Julia1996

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2018, 04:09:13 pm »
  I had four older brothers two of them were very physically and verbally abusive. I have had my nose broken 3 times one time it required 12 stitches , my arm broken in two places, punched and kicked too many times to remember.
 I was stabbed by one them in my right butt cheek , my mother was an emergency room nurse and she sewed it up while I laid on the kitchen counter. I know now she did that to protect him by not having to explain how I got a stab wound.  I was told not to tell anyone and now she denies it happened I have a scar on my ass that says otherwise.
 When my brothers did stuff to me they threatened me not to tell our mom, I stopped telling her when I realized my mom would do little about it and cared more about what other people thought about her than what was happening to me.
 One them stopped being abusive after he became paraplegic, sadly I think that's the only reason he stopped. I also think he would be in jail if that did not happen to him as well.
 When I talked to a therapist about these things  he said he thought my one brothers was a psychopath and started reading me the description from the DSM manual it pretty much described him to a tee.

That's horrible! I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't even imagine your own brother doing things like that to someone. It's horrifying.
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Offline Cassi

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2018, 04:23:04 pm »
That's horrible! I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't even imagine your own brother doing things like that to someone. It's horrifying.

I was bullied a little growing up but not so much in high school. 

Offline Stevie

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2018, 04:27:59 pm »
That's horrible! I'm so sorry you went through that. I can't even imagine your own brother doing things like that to someone. It's horrifying.

Thanks Julia.   When this was happening I had no frame of reference as to how a brother or a family is supposed to be. I also thought it was my fault somehow.

Offline Christy Lee

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2018, 04:35:57 pm »
Im not going to speak much about my experiences with being bullied as i fear it could out me, maybe?

I did have a hard time at high school, didnt really make any friends, i found it hard to trust people who were trying to be friends with me, i thought are they just trying to get to me so they can bully me more?

But ill just put my thoughts on this, usually my worst experiences with bullying or either that of being misgendered, or those closest to you just constantly making you feel like crap, i have been cyber bullied by those who i thought were my friends, i have been made to feel like crap by my own family even and its not even trans related, excluding my mother but they are a bunch of Narcissists and i kinda hate them sometimes... most of the time? its hard having people like this in your live just constantly being....... them..... OMG, i often think my life would be/would have been 100% better w/o them in my life... your own family? *sigh*

Some A Hole off the street who looks at you funny or misgenders you, or like his trying to figure it out and just laughs? that really doesnt bother me why the frak should i care about him and his opinion (im feeling strong now mentally but sometimes it does get to me)

At School i always tried to hide myself so i wouldnt be bullied, even when it came  to living with Narcissistic family again i tried to hide myself from that, now im just hiding myself and thats not even trans related well it is and it isnt, honestly sometimes i think feeling invisible is worse than actually being bullied
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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2018, 06:46:12 pm »
The easy/concrete answer is that I got (harmlessly) punched in the stomach by a pipsqueak in the airport, who then circled around me, laughing, and yelling "Good luck with the operation."  In other words, I got off easy.  I blogged about it here when the incident was still fresh in mind:

http://www.renaemadisongage.com/2017/04/dunsinane-within-the-castle/

The more nuanced answer is that I am continuously bullied from nearly every direction:

I am bullied by the anesthetist who used to misgender me on purpose, but who, since I offered to file a formal HR complaint, has taken to greeting me with "DOCTOR!!" every time we meet, voiced as if the word were a monstrously clever insult.  I am bullied by other co-workers, who don't think I know that they started a betting pool about when I was going to get THE OPERATION when I started to dress more feminine at work.  I am bullied by my insurance company, which denies me procedures which are fully paid for others.  I am bullied by my sibling, who still thinks it's way too much to expect him to address me by my legal name, years after the fact.  I have been bullied by shop clerks who either told me I couldn't use the dressing room or who yelled the same idea to their manager, complete with masculine pronoun, across a crowded store.  I am bullied by my President, who wastes no opportunity to diminish my legal rights or to encourage others to do so, not because he even gives a rat's derriere, but because it "energizes his base".

The bullying is all day, every day, if you look for it.  So I don't, at least not anymore.  True the various abuses are still logged in my brain so that I might list them, but I ignore them whenever I am able.  I respond the best I can in the moment, adjust my future expectations concerning the person in question, and move on if I can.  I celebrate when bullies get theirs (don't tell me I need to forgive for my own sake--this is another convenient lie fabricated by priests and other abusers).  I practice taking and giving compliments graciously.  I don't dwell, but I keep my guard up for the next time and I cultivate situational awareness.  I take care of myself, and those around me.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 08:16:36 pm by rmaddy »

Offline Julia1996

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2018, 07:09:34 pm »
The easy/concrete answer is that I got (harmlessly) punched in the stomach by a pipsqueak in the airport, who then circled around me, laughing, and yelling "Good luck with the operation."  In other words, I got off easy.  I blogged about it here when the incident was still fresh in mind:

http://www.renaemadisongage.com/2017/04/dunsinane-within-the-castle/

The more nuanced answer is that I am continuously bullied from nearly every direction:

I am nuanced by the anesthetist who used to misgender me on purpose, but who, since I offered to file a formal HR complaint, has taken to greeting me with "DOCTOR!!" every time we meet, voiced as if the word were a monstrously clever insult.  I am bullied by other co-workers, who don't think I know that they started a betting pool about when I was going to get THE OPERATION when I started to dress more feminine at work.  I am bullied by my insurance company, which denies me procedures which are fully paid for others.  I am bullied by my sibling, who still thinks it's way too much to expect him to address me by my legal name, years after the fact.  I have been bullied by shop clerks who either told me I couldn't use the dressing room or who yelled the same idea to their manager, complete with masculine pronoun, across a crowded store.  I am bullied by my President, who wastes no opportunity to diminish my legal rights or to encourage others to do so, not because he even gives a rat's derriere, but because it "energizes his base".

The bullying is all day, every day, if you look for it.  So I don't, at least not anymore.  True the various abuses are still logged in my brain so that I might list them, but I ignore them whenever I am able.  I respond the best I can in the moment, adjust my future expectations concerning the person in question, and move on if I can.  I celebrate when bullies get theirs (don't tell me I need to forgive for my own sake--this is another convenient lie fabricated by priests and other abusers).  I practice taking and giving compliments graciously.  I don't dwell, but I keep my guard up for the next time and I cultivate situational awareness.  I take care of myself, and those around me.

I'm sorry you have to go through that. It's horrible. Some people just suck!
Julia


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Offline Lady Sarah

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2018, 09:23:57 pm »
I've had the beatings, swirlies, and being stuffed into lockers and trash cans. Being the smallest kid in my grade made me an easy target. However, none of that holds a candle to what my adoptive mother did. She stopped beating me with belts when they broke, them moved on to chain style dog leashes until they broke. When she cut my ear while trying to slash my throat, I went to a neighbor for help. The beatings stopped when I got to foster care.
started HRT: July 13, 1991
orchi: December 23, 1994
trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
Back surgery: October 20, 2016

Offline Bari Jo

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Re: What's your worst bullying experience?
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2018, 09:41:42 pm »
I got the usual tripping, getting stuffed into lockers or trash cans.  For some reason the black people at my school rescued me many times from this type of abuse.  There was one guy that would constantly ask me how I ate semen, in cupcakes, with a straw, all the time.  I would be listening to a lecture, and hear this whisper.  He made my life miserable.  Up till that time I hadn't given any oral either.  I wanted to, but with all this teasing, I repressed it.
you know how far the universe extends outward? i think i go inside just as deep.

10/11/18 - out to the whole world.  100% friends and family support.
11/6/17 - came out to sister, best day of my life
9/5/17 - formal diagnosis and stopping DIY in favor if prescribed HRT
6/18/17 - decided to stop fighting the trans beast, back on DIY.
Too many ups and downs, DIY, purges of self inbetween dates.
Age 10 - suppression and denial began
Age 8 - knew I was different

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