Author Topic: Help with not looking feminine  (Read 701 times)

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Offline Daisy713

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Help with not looking feminine
« on: January 22, 2018, 01:11:06 am »
So I'm trying to figure out if I'm trans or not (currently it seems like it is a yes). Anyway, One of my biggest worries is that if I do decide to take the next step, I'm not the most feminine looking person, broad shoulders, fair muscle etc so I'm concerned that if I do decide to try womens clothes more or even in the future if I choose to go on hormones and stuff that ill never look at all feminine.
Sorry if this isn't on the right forum page too :) aaaalso sorry if I'm not describing things well or anything, still haven't gotten used to talking about this to anyone, even typing it out.

Offline Allie Bee

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2018, 02:18:36 am »
I was about 6'0" & full beard, heavy 5 o clock shadow, muscles, broad shoulders, big forearms, no ass, & a voice like johhny cash (no lie)
Now i get mistaken for a cis girl all the time in pics & even irl & have straight guys hittin on me all the time...all thanx to hormones, voice training, workin out/good diet, & positivity. Id show u a pic but it seems i cant upload rn or sumthin.
Dont rely on Just the hormones. Work on femininity from every angle & youll be SHOCKED at the results within a year
(My voice is nice, high & feminine now, gets mistaken all the time for a cis girl when on the phone, dont underestimate voice training combined with hormones)
& btw, that muscle will melt away, those shoulders Will shrink;P
Alessa B🐝

Instagram.com/allie_beeee

Offline Allie Bee

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2018, 02:25:03 am »
Instagram.com/allie_beeee/

Remember what i said, i had full Thick beard, constant 5oclock shadow, deeeep voice, manly af.
When i first came out,  i had ppl telling me i had NO CHANCE of passing as feminine.
That was two years ago. Look at the instagram page & see for yourself what hrt can do:)
Alessa B🐝

Instagram.com/allie_beeee

Online Allison S

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2018, 02:32:44 am »
Instagram.com/allie_beeee/

Remember what i said, i had full Thick beard, constant 5oclock shadow, deeeep voice, manly af.
When i first came out,  i had ppl telling me i had NO CHANCE of passing as feminine.
That was two years ago. Look at the instagram page & see for yourself what hrt can do:)
Yes!! What a transformation! Definitely good genes!

And yeah I'm only 4 months on hrt and I wasn't very muscular but even the bulky fat shed a bit already. I haven't changed my diet or lost any weight it's the hormones changing. My shoulders do seem smaller. That was/is something I'm concious about.

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Offline Laurie

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2018, 10:22:17 am »
I was about 6'0" & full beard, heavy 5 o clock shadow, muscles, broad shoulders, big forearms, no ass, & a voice like johhny cash (no lie)
Now i get mistaken for a cis girl all the time in pics & even irl & have straight guys hittin on me all the time...all thanx to hormones, voice training, workin out/good diet, & positivity. Id show u a pic but it seems i cant upload rn or sumthin.
Dont rely on Just the hormones. Work on femininity from every angle & youll be SHOCKED at the results within a year
(My voice is nice, high & feminine now, gets mistaken all the time for a cis girl when on the phone, dont underestimate voice training combined with hormones)
& btw, that muscle will melt away, those shoulders Will shrink;P

  Hi  Allie Bee,

 I’m Laurie, I see that you are new here and sneaked in last night. I am glad to see you have jumped right in and are participating. We are glad to have you here and helping others out. So please let me say, Welcome To Susan's Place! Come on in and take a good look around.  Perhaps I can even get you to hop on over to the Introductions Thread and  create a post to tell us a little bit more about yourself so we can get to know you a little better and greet you properly. I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.
 
Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org

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Offline elkie-t

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2018, 11:04:40 am »
When something is looking out of norm, it attracts attention and scrutiny. But people judge by a complex of factors, not by only one or two. So, if the evaluation in the end comes more into female favor, you pass.

Let’s say your height, shoulders, size of your feet, would always make you more visible. But what if they are balanced by feminine voice, face, hair, presentation, manners, female curves? These characteristics are totally  achievable with time, money, training and medical intervention.

So, passing (most of the time, to the acceptable level of female presentation) is achievable to everyone. The question is if you have desire and resources to get there.


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Offline Allie Bee

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2018, 12:24:21 pm »
Thank you so much Laurie, ill get to the introduction area soon as possible:P
Thank you so much♡♡♡
Alessa B🐝

Instagram.com/allie_beeee

Offline Allie Bee

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2018, 12:30:27 pm »
& also thank you so much Allison S,  that means a Lot.
Believe it or not, its not all dependant on genes, theres a lot you can do to get as much out of the transition as possible. Like watching your diet, keeping your DHT (DiHydroTestosterone) low, & just basically stayin healthy:)
Thank you again sweetie💖
Alessa B🐝

Instagram.com/allie_beeee

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2018, 02:02:37 pm »
Instagram.com/allie_beeee/

Remember what i said, i had full Thick beard, constant 5oclock shadow, deeeep voice, manly af.
When i first came out,  i had ppl telling me i had NO CHANCE of passing as feminine.
That was two years ago. Look at the instagram page & see for yourself what hrt can do:)

I saw your pics and that is an amazing transformation. Can you share which voice exercises you did to improve?

Offline Shambles

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2018, 03:25:36 pm »
I was about 6'0" & full beard, heavy 5 o clock shadow, muscles, broad shoulders, big forearms, no ass, & a voice like johhny cash (no lie)
Now i get mistaken for a cis girl all the time in pics & even irl & have straight guys hittin on me all the time...all thanx to hormones, voice training, workin out/good diet, & positivity. Id show u a pic but it seems i cant upload rn or sumthin.
Dont rely on Just the hormones. Work on femininity from every angle & youll be SHOCKED at the results within a year
(My voice is nice, high & feminine now, gets mistaken all the time for a cis girl when on the phone, dont underestimate voice training combined with hormones)
& btw, that muscle will melt away, those shoulders Will shrink;P

how did you go about voice training from a deep start? Any tips ? ;)
- Jo / Joanna

Pre-HRT Trans-Fem
16th Nov 17 - Came out to myself
7th Jan 18 - Came out to wife
31st Jan 18 - Referred to GIC / might be seen in 2020

Offline DawnOday

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2018, 04:11:54 pm »
how did you go about voice training from a deep start? Any tips ? ;)

One of the tools you may consider is downloading a pitch meter such as "Da Tuner" actually there are many guitar tuning apps that can also work. Here are the parameters I use at my therapists urging. My Male voice registers a G2   My female voice registers at F3. This is in the 175htz range. Whereas G2 is around 90htz.  There are many tutorials on line. University of Iowa even has a website devoted to speech http://soundsofspeech.uiowa.edu/index.html#english
http://ncvs.org/e-learning/tutorials/index.html
http://heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm

The biggest difference for me was to transfer resonance from my chest to my mouth and this takes a lot of work. Also diaphragm breathing rather than chest breathing. Practice. practice practice. Practice in front of a web cam and review the playback as it gives a better idea than listening in your head as you speak.

 If you have an Ipad or Iphone you might try downloading EVA by Kathe Perez from the Apple store. It is a rather comprehensive vocal training suite.

Remember though speech is only half the battle. How you present is important too. Study female traits such as smiling when you talk. Using your hands, paying attention and giving reassurance as others are speaking. A good way to do this is choosing someone you think would be a good example. I chose Meryl Streep. Watch them doing interviews on you tube and them practice doing what they do. Do not use their movies as examples because they are acting in the movies.
Hope this helps
Dawn Oday

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17




Offline AnneK

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2018, 03:19:07 pm »
One thing to keep in mind, dress appropriately for the situation.  I have seen several cross dressers, in an attempt to look feminine wearing something that makes them stand out, because it's not appropriate.  When I was into cross dressing, I always tried for the "plain Jane" look, as it was easiest to achieve and wouldn't cause me to stand out.
I'm a 64 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.  I am exploring where I want to take things and recently talked to my doctor about HRT.

Offline Allie Bee

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2018, 02:59:00 am »
I saw your pics and that is an amazing transformation. Can you share which voice exercises you did to improve?
Thank you So much hun^_^ that truly means a lot.
Tbh i just scoured youtube videos & learned from other tgirls & what they did. A biological man's vocal chords can make any sound that a female's can, it just takes work to train those "upper" muscles.  I couod go on but you xan get plenty of info from youtube testimonials. Also, yes, definitely download a tuner app.  I have two✌"Da Tuner Lite" & "pitch lab pro." According to most of the girls out there on youtube & in my experience, C4 is the "standard" average female pitch. There's also voice training apps available for androids like "voice pitch analyzer."
Singing Alicia Keys helps a lot, lol. Been doin A Lot of talkin to myself lately😅
It just takes training & confidence. Keep in mind there are many cis girls with low voices. No more speaking from the chest tho, gotta tighten thise upper tbriat muscles & "squeeze the air" so it goes faster through a narrower opening. Youll see what i mean:)
Tbh, i dont even think you need to waste money on a voice coach but to each their own💸💸💸
Alessa B🐝

Instagram.com/allie_beeee

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2018, 12:24:17 pm »
Thank you So much hun^_^ that truly means a lot.
Tbh i just scoured youtube videos & learned from other tgirls & what they did. A biological man's vocal chords can make any sound that a female's can, it just takes work to train those "upper" muscles.  I couod go on but you xan get plenty of info from youtube testimonials. Also, yes, definitely download a tuner app.  I have two✌"Da Tuner Lite" & "pitch lab pro." According to most of the girls out there on youtube & in my experience, C4 is the "standard" average female pitch. There's also voice training apps available for androids like "voice pitch analyzer."
Singing Alicia Keys helps a lot, lol. Been doin A Lot of talkin to myself lately😅
It just takes training & confidence. Keep in mind there are many cis girls with low voices. No more speaking from the chest tho, gotta tighten thise upper tbriat muscles & "squeeze the air" so it goes faster through a narrower opening. Youll see what i mean:)
Tbh, i dont even think you need to waste money on a voice coach but to each their own💸💸💸

Thanks I will download the pitch analyzer.

Offline Virginia

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2018, 11:17:58 am »
A more psychological perspective
It is reality that there are people are simply not androgynous enough to pass as another gender. My GT explained there are three different human needs drive Gender Dysphoria; social acceptance, acceptance of how we look and  of who we are. Therapy is important to explorer these needs for yourself to determine whether transition will fill your needs or make them worse.
~VA (pronounced Vee- Aye)

Offline amandam

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Re: Help with not looking feminine
« Reply #15 on: August 04, 2018, 12:02:27 pm »
My therapists have said to go down the path and see where you end up. While I don't "think" I'm a candidate for GCS, I'm going to walk down that path. I'm eating better and losing weight, I'm also working out more, but no weights. I do a lot of stretching and cardio. I'm also doing hair removal. I cut my hair and nails but I feel I don't need it at this point. That can be taken care of with wigs and fake nails when I have time to dress (3 teens at home).

I'm exploring my femme side as far as I can while protecting my family and job. I'm taking a long-term approach. I still want to remove my beard, but time and money. We'll see how far I get.

My recommendation is for you to also take positive steps. Instead of worrying about how you look, decide how you can make it better.


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