Author Topic: How to deal with prejudice from others (potentially upsetting material)  (Read 345 times)

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Offline Siana

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I am 31 years old and up until my current partner, I had always dated cis males and I am cis female. So, I never had to deal with people and their bigoted opinions aimed at myself or my partner.

However, I am now engaged to a transfemale. And I am finding it frustrating dealing with people. She isn't out of the closet, so people don't know about her just yet (she intends to transition though, so one day they will). But, my co-workers bash on homosexuals and transgender people at work. They think it makes a person unfit to be around kids and were happy when their church ran a lesbian woman out of church. And this isn't just the lower level employees, the boss actually uses the phrase "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve". It makes me cringe... more so because they insult the person I love, more than me, but also because if they knew about us then my job would be at risk, as there are no legal protections in my state. And, I am in school to become a teacher, so parents feeling like I would be unfit to be around their children could put my entire career at risk.

On top of the work issues, my family will mostly not approve when they find out. My mom accepts it, but is weirded out by it. She said she can't understand how I could want to be with someone that wears dresses and wants a female body. But, she tries to make my partner feel OK walking around the house (I currently live with my mom, as I can't afford to pay high rent while I finish my degree) in her female clothes, so she's trying. My grandmother will never accept it. My Aunt will accept it in private, but her husband hates LGBT people so she'll never voice support.

How do other people handle being around such prejudice all the time ? I just want to go to work and do my job, but because of the people I work with, one day I ended up leaving my lunch break and finishing my food in the storage closet just to get away from their hate filled conversations. If it was just me they were unintentionally insulting, I wouldn't be as bothered... but I don't like anyone insulting my fiancee. She is the sweetest, most respectful person and incredibly strong, because she deals with worse all the time and has her whole life. If someone says something with her around, it is going to be really hard to resist the urge to snap their heads off for it (figuratively speaking, anyway). And even worse, I have to be around her family, who doesn't know and is transphobic... biting my tongue if they say something to her...

*sigh* Why can't people just stop being so cruel to each other?

Offline PartnerToButchLesbianMTF

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Re: How to deal with prejudice from others (potentially upsetting material)
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2018, 10:25:42 am »
Congratulations on your upcoming career, wedding, and your partner's transition.

When you graduate and are looking for new jobs, can you look in a safer part of the world? If you can, get to a state with LGBT and trans protections. When she's ready to come out and present as her true self 24/7, she'll need to feel safe in the community and at work.

Prejudice exists everywhere, but some places are so much safer than others. I know moving is very expensive, but starting a new career is a good time to make a change.


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Offline Siana

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Re: How to deal with prejudice from others (potentially upsetting material)
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2018, 10:35:14 am »
We are going to be moving to a city, with discrimination protections for both sexual orientation and gender identity. That is where she'll start her transition after we're married. It might be a slow process, cause I don't know if insurance we get will be able to cover it, but I've already told her I'm willing to put as much money as we can into a savings account for it, whatever she needs.

Unfortunately, the move won't be for at least another year, so I get another year or more with the "lovely" people I work with... And, even after the move, we'll still have to put up with her homophobic/transphobic family and mine. :(

Offline DawnOday

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Re: How to deal with prejudice from others (potentially upsetting material)
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2018, 10:35:37 am »
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them.

Love thy neighbor as thyself there are no greater commandments.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
~ Psalm 139:13-14
Dawn Oday

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Offline Gertrude

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Re: How to deal with prejudice from others (potentially upsetting material)
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2018, 11:45:26 am »
Some people have no idea what Christ’s message was. Instead they use religion to justify their backwards ass upbringing.


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Online Dena

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Re: How to deal with prejudice from others (potentially upsetting material)
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2018, 01:08:13 pm »
There are a couple of ways to handle issues like that. You can realize they for what ever reason lack the understanding and ignore the comments. The other way is to question their knowledge. You might ask if they have ever known anybody who was LGBT or if they have taken the time to learn all about it. If you are more bold, you can admit that you know somebody and they are one of the sweetest people you know. It might not change their mind but they might be a little more cautious about what they say when they are around you.
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