Author Topic: moving forward slowly but surely  (Read 770 times)

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Offline gallinarosa

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moving forward slowly but surely
« on: January 30, 2018, 01:34:19 pm »
I know a lot of SOs only come here when in crisis. But because we all need more good news in our days, I wanted to share the good too! My spouse and I have had a number of positive revelations -- some alone and some together -- particularly in the last few days. We both hit an acceptance and a trust level beyond what we thought was possible. My spouse knows I am in this for the long haul and trusts me -- and I understand where this may go and I want to actively help instead of passively be dead weight on the trip. I am scared as hell (and maybe this is the anti-depressants speaking) but I feel a great weight has been lifted!

Additionally, I just bought my husband a bunch of pretty women's underwear for his birthday and I am okay with that. I was even super excited to give it to him. (He still uses male pronouns.) I'm already making plans for Valentine's Day ;-)

Anyway, I feel great and positive and I wanted to share the feeling. Thanks to all who were here for me when I was feeling not-so-positive and helping me through that patch.

Offline Cassi

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2018, 01:37:53 pm »
Your spouse and you are truly blessed.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2018, 01:44:52 pm »
Wow this makes me so happy! I'm glad that things are working out for you two.

Offline Siana

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2018, 03:12:56 pm »
Glad you are having positive experiences with it :)

I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.

Online HappyMoni

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2018, 04:29:13 pm »
I know a lot of SOs only come here when in crisis. But because we all need more good news in our days, I wanted to share the good too! My spouse and I have had a number of positive revelations -- some alone and some together -- particularly in the last few days. We both hit an acceptance and a trust level beyond what we thought was possible. My spouse knows I am in this for the long haul and trusts me -- and I understand where this may go and I want to actively help instead of passively be dead weight on the trip. I am scared as hell (and maybe this is the anti-depressants speaking) but I feel a great weight has been lifted!

Additionally, I just bought my husband a bunch of pretty women's underwear for his birthday and I am okay with that. I was even super excited to give it to him. (He still uses male pronouns.) I'm already making plans for Valentine's Day ;-)

Anyway, I feel great and positive and I wanted to share the feeling. Thanks to all who were here for me when I was feeling not-so-positive and helping me through that patch.
Your post on your support is so great to hear. I have been the recipient of amazing support from my significant other. In fact she supported and accepted me 40 years before I could accept myself. I would not even let her see me dressed in woman's clothes, but her support was  always there. It is truly a wonderful thing for one person to do for a loved one. I wish you both happiness.
Moni
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HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A

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Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #5 on: January 31, 2018, 07:52:08 am »
Glad you are having positive experiences with it :)

I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.

People like you and GallinaRosa are gold! :)

Offline Sylvia

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2018, 08:28:56 am »
Happy to hear this, GR. We are in a better place too. Most of the time :)

Offline SadieBlake

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2018, 07:17:20 am »
Gallinarosa, Sylvia, I'm so glad for both of you. Here's to a positive start to 2018!
🌈👭 lesbian, troublemaker ;-) 🌈🏳️‍🌈

Offline Lady Lisandra

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2018, 07:25:54 pm »
You sound like the SO that every trans woman wish they had. I'm glad that you could make things work for both of you :)
- Lis -

Offline gallinarosa

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2018, 07:57:08 am »
You sound like the SO that every trans woman wish they had.

Do transwomen like hot messes? LOL. I never knew that.

Just to be clear (especially to other couples who read this), it is not all roses. It is HARD. And draining. It is an emotional roller coaster. (But at this moment, I feel like - and hope - that it is worth it.)

Offline Faith

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2018, 11:24:19 am »
Do transwomen like hot messes? LOL. I never knew that.

Just to be clear (especially to other couples who read this), it is not all roses. It is HARD. And draining. It is an emotional roller coaster. (But at this moment, I feel like - and hope - that it is worth it.)

Much like my wife. She's extremely supportive and defensive of me. Tells the 'doom and gloomers' that "No, she is not leaving me." Tells me the same, She loves me and plans on being in it wherever it leads .. whatever 'it' is :P I do know that aside from that, she's struggling to reconcile things in her own mind. Me she can accept. My changes .. and my need for changes .. she's trying. I can see how much it's draining on her.

It needs to be clear to everyone, as hard as it is for the trans to break out, it's equally hard for an SO to come to grips. It's just different. Most trans have much longer time to come to terms with themselves. Most SO's get hit with it sideways and scramble to adjust. To manage the turbulence of a trans relationship takes a special kind of love.



I am who I am :icon_chick:

Offline BrianaJ

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2018, 09:24:41 am »
Faith wrote:
Quote
It needs to be clear to everyone, as hard as it is for the trans to break out, it's equally hard for an SO to come to grips. It's just different. Most trans have much longer time to come to terms with themselves. Most SO's get hit with it sideways and scramble to adjust. To manage the turbulence of a trans relationship takes a special kind of love.

Faith, you said it very well.  I think so few of us really ever understand what we do to - what we impose on our SOs. Its something that those of us on the trans side need to understand more.

Gallinarose, I also think you are truly a gem. 
~~Be kind~~

Offline Theirsforever01

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Re: moving forward slowly but surely
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2018, 11:40:39 pm »
Glad you are having positive experiences with it :)

I actually like buying dresses and stuff for my SO, she hasn't ever had anyone buy her girly things, so I get to spoil her a bit! And, bonus is when your SO is comfortable enough to model the stuff you buy, you get to see how great they look in it.


I'm with you on this, I just went out and bought my spouse some new undies and tops today and loved watching him (still using the masculine pronoun for now) try them on. He loves them! Made me so happy to see him so happy!!

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