Author Topic: When will I come out  (Read 53 times)

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Offline punky_glitter

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When will I come out
« on: February 08, 2018, 08:18:47 pm »
I've been thinking a lot and that's always no good. I want to come out to school but I haven't the faintest idea how. I almost came out five times today and I don't know why I didn't. I didn't because I know everyone is going to say it's too hard or complex. It's going to be strange and maybe they'll doubt me or call me names. I don't think my friends would call me names, but I am slightly worried about them not liking me anymore or maybe even making fun of me. I trust my friends but I've never done anything like this before. How do I come out anyway?
One of the times I almost came out I was talking to someone about Pride this year and how I'm taking my boyfriend and they said that it's okay that we're a straight couple and go to pride. While I am a pansexual, it also urks me to hear that I am in a straight relationship because that doesn't feel right. I am not a girl and he is a boy. Which wouldn't be straight. But also we are straight passing since I am biologically female and he is biologically male. Should I accept my privilege of being a straight couple and just let that statement bother me and move on? I should I correct people? I mean, I wouldn't say its a gay relationship, it's more of a queer one? Maybe someone can help with that too.
It's going to be confusing for people to call me by my name (Patricia) and use he him pronouns since one is feminine and one is masculine. I understand that.
Part of me loves my name and part of me doesn't change it because I'm too afraid to be complicated or a burden. I am out to my boyfriend as well as my trans friend, but I know neither of them use my pronouns because I've asked them not to. It's just that it hurts and feels disgusting every time I hear someone use she to refer to me. Nothing wrong with she's, it's just who I am not.
Due to the fact that when I spend one on one time with either of them, they don't use my pronouns which is fine. I feel like I don't have space where I am who I am freely. I feel like at school I'm not myself and I feel like at home I'm not myself. I've never heard anyone call me he ever, and that really bothers me. But how are they supposed to know unless I come out?
That brings me to this, do I come out one person at a time or in a group? Do I ask for them to use pronouns right away or give them time to know I'm non binary and then ask? How do I explain my relationship with my boyfriend? How do I start the conversation about coming out?
Thank you to anyone that helps.
I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun
They can take your bathrooms, they can take your binders, the can take your makeup
but they can never can they ever take who you are.

You are always valid