Author Topic: Not sure about HRT  (Read 164 times)

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Offline Jamie_06

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Not sure about HRT
« on: February 14, 2018, 07:11:19 am »
I'm worried about starting HRT soon; I have the letter from my therapist and am due to start within a couple weeks.While I do want to express myself as female and be able to appear female even when wearing little to no clothing, I am afraid that HRT will also keep me from expressing myself as male effectively.

I'm genderfluid, and have lately been realizing that I can't live without my male side despite still wanting to be female as well. I need to be able to express both without issues, but unfortunately there is one major conflict. As female I want to have decent sized, visible breasts, which I have wished for for many years, but I also don't want to have to bind myself as male. Thus, I'm really struggling with whether I should use hormones or not.

Online Jessica

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2018, 09:27:28 am »
Hi Jamie, I too identify as non-binary / gender fluid.  I do appreciate both sides of myself.  I had the same questions wracking my thoughts in the beginning.  I knew I needed to be more feminine, but I have never hated my male persona.  I was afraid that I wouldn’t present as male if I had breasts, I was afraid I wouldn’t present as a woman without them.
I started E to help balance my psyche, which worked.  I felt calmer, more at ease with going forward.  Through therapy and reflection, I have come to realize, yes I am both genders and I am who I am.  E works slowly on your body, and after 7 months, I have developed “b cup” breasts, a softer face and less body hair.
Last week I had an adventure as a woman with a couple of friends from Susan’s and felt wonderful.  I may or may not have passed to the general public, but I felt like a woman and was joyful with it.  Afterwards I changed my wardrobe and I was my other half, affirming that I was both.
It’s all about attitude and acceptance, but it can be done

Online Devlyn Marie

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2018, 10:41:56 am »
Hi Jamie, genderfluid/non-binary is a unique challenge. I enjoy my male side and the mindset that 5 decades of living male brings. But I knew I wanted to feminize my body. Hormones brought those changes but blockers weren't bringing the testosterone down. I got an orchiectomy and finally had my levels in female range, and it felt "right". My understanding is most people feel that "click" when they're in the happy spot. Start your hormones and you will most likely know if they're right for you very quickly.

Hugs, Devlyn
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Offline Dena

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2018, 11:51:48 am »
Something to consider. Dating back to when I transitioned, one of the requirements for surgery was a year of hormones. The thinking behind it was if you were comfortable with the changes taking place to your body, surgery was likely to be a good idea for you. If you were uncomfortable with the changes, surgery would probably be a bad idea.

Yes I know you don't intend to have surgery however the same test may still apply. If you find you are uncomfortable with the changes to your body, this will probably happened before the changes are very visible to others. You shouldn't need to bind but you might want to wear a T shirt instead of going topless. Just remember it will take months before you are likely to reach an AA cup and that's still small enough not to be noticeable.

Be honest about your level of discomfort and if you are uncomfortable, discuss it with your therapist as you will want to make a decision as soon as possible.
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Online Devlyn Marie

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2018, 12:10:43 pm »
Dena's post count is 13,666. All my favourite numbers in one convenient place.    >:-)
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Online AnneK

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2018, 01:22:26 pm »
Dena's post count is 13,666. All my favourite numbers in one convenient place.    >:-)

666 - Number of the beast
664 - Neighbour of the beast

 :D
I'm a 64 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.  I am exploring where I want to take things and recently talked to my doctor about HRT.

Online Devlyn Marie

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2018, 01:31:01 pm »
 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Offline Jamie_06

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Re: Not sure about HRT
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2018, 07:15:28 pm »
The real problem is that I want to be able to really become female in a physical way as far as everything except genitals is concerned, and to be able to switch back to male just as easily. Breasts are the real sticking point. There is just no way to have them as female, lose them as male, and gain them again when going back to female.

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