Author Topic: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.  (Read 881 times)

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Offline ainsley

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2018, 11:36:15 am »
The system failing goes without question when one has to wait a year for care.  I am glad you have such an understanding view of it, though. :)  I think you have a good attitude!  Kudos to you. ;)
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

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Offline TranSketch

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2018, 11:46:22 am »
I agree.  The whole waiting thing about these national healthcare systems baffles me!!  Especially when it is causing harm.  I guess you are expected to use private funds to address this gap in care?

My understanding is that unlike say cancer or a life threatening issue, TG is considered not so important but this I disagree with as the longer you're forced to endure the waiting fair enough it may not be a fatal affliction however it does mental grievance over time and in some sad cases may make people commit suicide thinking theres no end to this tunnel or just give up completely and just keep living a lie as a male or female depending on MtF or vice versa
Life is fleeting, so may as well kick back and pull up a chair.

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2018, 07:38:09 am »
Ainsley - I fear the wait for Transgender care on  British NHS would be two years rather than one year. That is why I decided to go private.

TranSketch - I know you and others cannot afford private at least for some time and I truly feel for you and them. I simple terms the number of British GICs and trained doctors in gender matters needs to increase



Offline ainsley

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #23 on: February 23, 2018, 07:12:11 am »
Ainsley - I fear the wait for Transgender care on  British NHS would be two years rather than one year.

gasp!

That is simply not right for ANY healthcare system, but especially a nationally funded and run one.  Talk about society failing the trans community...  And, I am sure it is not just trans care that has these abhorrent wait times, either. 
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

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Offline Shiratori

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #24 on: February 23, 2018, 08:30:00 am »
Ainsley - I fear the wait for Transgender care on  British NHS would be two years rather than one year. That is why I decided to go private.

TranSketch - I know you and others cannot afford private at least for some time and I truly feel for you and them. I simple terms the number of British GICs and trained doctors in gender matters needs to increase

They're working on getting more therapists trained up for that. At both of my sessions so far at Daventry there have been trainees sitting in. The problem is that with the recent increase in trans visibility the amount of people getting referred has boomed and what used to be a 3 month wait has increased as the amount of therapists is no longer sufficient to handle the amount of people waiting.

HRT Started 2018-01-22

Offline pamelatransuk

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #25 on: February 24, 2018, 06:53:41 am »
Yes Shiratori, we trans are a rapidly increasing section of the populace in UK and I assume in US, Canada and Australia also?

To be precise, perhaps our numbers have always been roughly constant but now more and more of us are coming forward, accepting ourelves and seeking medical help.

Pamela



Offline Optera

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #26 on: March 04, 2018, 02:13:17 am »
Just a little advise about the "overweight" thing.
I see all or most MtF absolutely want to stay thin and want to loose weight etc.

To me, additional weight is a bless. With the HTR the fat will move to the feminine places and will make you a body clearly feminine. You'll be a chubby/curvy/fat voluptuous woman. It will soften your face too. The passing will be way easier than if you are very slim ! Even if your face will still have masculine features for instance, with a voluptuous body, people will be more likely to assume that you are a woman anyway.
When I was younger, my mom thought that one of my cis male friend (with masculine face and haircut) was maybe actually a girl because he had this chubby/curvy feminine body...

I was born myself in a female body but basically had a very androgynous body : tall, long, skinny, athletic shoulders, very small boobs ...
I wanted to become more feminine, so I decided to gain a lot of weight which I succeed. Yes I gained a lot in my belly (which is cute and not disguting contrary to what society claims) but also in my thighs, boobs, arms, EVERYTHING, which makes my shoulders appear not broad anymore...My body is now absolutely feminine.

Really, you and all MtF, don't take additional fat as a curse, it's actually a bless for your feminization :)




Online Allison S

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #27 on: March 04, 2018, 02:19:53 am »
Just a little advise about the "overweight" thing.
I see all or most MtF absolutely want to stay thin and want to loose weight etc.

To me, additional weight is a bless. With the HTR the fat will move to the feminine places and will make you a body clearly feminine. You'll be a chubby/curvy/fat voluptuous woman. It will soften your face too. The passing will be way easier than if you are very slim ! Even if your face will still have masculine features for instance, with a voluptuous body, people will be more likely to assume that you are a woman anyway.
When I was younger, my mom thought that one of my cis male friend (with masculine face and haircut) was maybe actually a girl because he had this chubby/curvy feminine body...

I was born myself in a female body but basically had a very androgynous body : tall, long, skinny, athletic shoulders, very small boobs ...
I wanted to become more feminine, so I decided to gain a lot of weight which I succeed. Yes I gained a lot in my belly (which is cute and not disguting contrary to what society claims) but also in my thighs, boobs, arms, EVERYTHING, which makes my shoulders appear not broad anymore...My body is now absolutely feminine.

Really, you and all MtF, don't take additional fat as a curse, it's actually a bless for your feminization :)
Yeah I agree but at the same time a thin waist/flat stomach is idolized. I mean it is feminine to be slimmer rather than broad. But cuves are curves

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Offline Optera

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #28 on: March 04, 2018, 03:29:20 am »
Yes thin waists are beautiful and every type or almost every type of body has its beauty.
Long and slim bodies are graceful. Round chubby cupcakes bodies are cute and yummy haha.

It's a matter of education of the "eyes" (not sure of my vocabulary lol).
There are different types of feminities : small graceful like nymphs, tall massive goddesses etc... :)

A plus-size trans model that I like :
http://www.pictame.com/user/shadeyshay/331212795/1316765520921614779_331212795

Offline TranSketch

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #29 on: March 04, 2018, 06:46:50 pm »
A lot of good and helpful posts thus far but naturally I still have a lot more down days then up, I still wish to lose weight  as I have my own preferred view of how I want to look especially as at one point I did used to be thin so I know it's technically not out the realm of reality to try and get back there, if I ever get to see the therapists any point in this millennium I will be hoping the hormones do there job regardless of if I lose enough weight to be happy with my own outward appearance though honestly I feel I can't do this properly whilst still living at home or in Liverpool, I want to move down South to London with my friend as I really can't practice a lot of stuff at home  and the stuff I can do just doesn't really help that much anymore, but I'm not prepared to do the living experience whilst living in Liverpool still, I don't feel it's the right place to go through my transition properly, I'd rather be somewhere else and anonymous than in my hometown if that makes sense.
Life is fleeting, so may as well kick back and pull up a chair.

Offline fleurgirl

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #30 on: March 04, 2018, 10:29:28 pm »
I began HRT when I was young. I am still young. I am very grateful that I was this age when I began. However, I understand your struggles, and my heart goes out to you. I can just imagine how horrible you may feel, and I just want to reach across the screen and tell you, "Everything is going to be okay."

The journey to bringing out our true self is hard on some, and even harder on others. You may be 28, look "masculine", and what-not. However, being a woman is more than having a dainty little figure and a functioning vulva. I know it means a lot to trans-girls about passing, but trying to pass too much can also be toxic. Confidence is key. Baby steps are the way to go.

Demand that you see a gender therapist sooner. Make those advancements. Build up the courage. Screw what others think. I know that this is easier said than done, but your mental health is very important. Living as a man is probably very tolling on you, particularly because you aren't a man. Your soul is female. Sure, you may have gotten slightly better results if you started your transition as an adolescent, but you will still have results and such at 28. I have seen women transition at 30-50 years old and they look 100% passable and beautiful. If you have the energy and the commitment, you can make the real you shine through. Being on this forum is already a big step. We are all proud of you. I am half-awake so I hope that half of what I said makes sense.

- Fleur
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Offline TranSketch

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Re: Still waiting on Gender Therapist appointment and fed up of it.
« Reply #31 on: March 05, 2018, 07:10:37 am »
I began HRT when I was young. I am still young. I am very grateful that I was this age when I began. However, I understand your struggles, and my heart goes out to you. I can just imagine how horrible you may feel, and I just want to reach across the screen and tell you, "Everything is going to be okay."

The journey to bringing out our true self is hard on some, and even harder on others. You may be 28, look "masculine", and what-not. However, being a woman is more than having a dainty little figure and a functioning vulva. I know it means a lot to trans-girls about passing, but trying to pass too much can also be toxic. Confidence is key. Baby steps are the way to go.

Demand that you see a gender therapist sooner. Make those advancements. Build up the courage. Screw what others think. I know that this is easier said than done, but your mental health is very important. Living as a man is probably very tolling on you, particularly because you aren't a man. Your soul is female. Sure, you may have gotten slightly better results if you started your transition as an adolescent, but you will still have results and such at 28. I have seen women transition at 30-50 years old and they look 100% passable and beautiful. If you have the energy and the commitment, you can make the real you shine through. Being on this forum is already a big step. We are all proud of you. I am half-awake so I hope that half of what I said makes sense.

- Fleur

The problem is the only Gender Therapist they have available is one where I live so demanding to see them sooner is probably going to get me no where quicker than anyone else still waiting to see them also wishing for the same thing, private treatment would probably be the the best way to avoid the wait however given most of my spare outcome has to go on debts I can't spare it for private sessions so stuck waiting on the NHS no matter what which that in itself is not helping my mental health, the longer I'm stuck waiting on this the more I question if it's worth and just accept defeat already, pretty sure others go through the same thoughts and feelings but as I'm for the most part a pessimist the negative thoughts overrule positive ones. (update) After contacting them today I now have an appointment for the 19th of March for my first session, not going in to positive in case what they say is disappointing so it's the D-Day of my transition, either I'll hear the positive stuff I need to hear or I can walk away from this path and not waste anymore time on it if the therapist is not saying the things I hope to hear, either what happens from here depends on that session.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2018, 11:20:27 am by TranSketch »
Life is fleeting, so may as well kick back and pull up a chair.

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