Author Topic: Disappointment with therapy.  (Read 610 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline salaniaseviltwin

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 71
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Disappointment with therapy.
« on: February 20, 2018, 01:40:43 pm »
So I finally started to see a therapist two weeks ago. I missed today's appointment because I wrote the wrong time into my date book. The strange this is, I'm actually disappointed that I didn't get to sit down and talk with her. I've never had or felt the need to talk to somebody, but for the first time I actually want to talk.

I've gone to informed consent centers my whole transition, so they didn't require me to speak with someone on a regular basis. I'm still not required, but for insurance purposes regarding surgeries I'm hoping to get done I thought I'd go a few times and be done, but now I actually feel like talking.

I know there are a lot of things that change during transition, but I wasn't expecting the urge to actually freely divulge information about my personal life to be so strong.

Has anyone else had this sudden change of heart after their first appointment?



Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk

"Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that's the truth in people's minds."   -Steve Young


Offline PurplePelican

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 139
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2018, 01:59:58 pm »
Sounds like you had the wrong idea about therapy until you actually tried it. Therapy isn't all about discussing the deepest corners of you psyche, it can be about the superficial as well.

I'll never understand why people are so reticent to try a therapist..
This is not medical advice. Always consult your doctor.

Offline Laurie

  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 8,745
  • Reputation: +52/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2018, 02:11:27 pm »
Hi salaniaseviltwin,

  I didn't like the thought of therapy due to a bit of a distasteful experience that basically entailed blackmail with a therapist. She pretty much told me if I didn't agree about coming for more sessions she would have me incarcerated for my own safety. Some such nonsense after telling her I had been up on a chair with a rope around my neck and had other thoughts of ending my problems. I mean it was nothing really serious after all. I managed to convince her I no longer had such thoughts after 5 or 6 sessions. Little did I realize I'd be sitting in a forest with a shotgun barrel in my mouth about two years later.
  Any way when I joined Susan's I kept reading that therapy was highly recommended and though I was apprehensive about seeing one, I preceded to ask for a therapist when I came out to my VA GP. I decided I would have to be completely forthcoming with him from the start and that is what I have done. I share everything about me that goes round and round in my head with him. Even telling him about my being depressed with stronger thoughts of doing myself in recently. I am on an antidepressant now that is helping to keep those thoughts at bay. I even told him I was angry at him for pushing me to do something I was not willing to do. I was angry for two week and thought of skipping my next appointment with him. Instead I went and we talked about what had made me angry. He thanked me for being honest and said it helps him understand me better. I have been seeing him for about a year now and yes I look forward to my talks with him. I trust him and can tell him anything and I know he is trying to help me with my many issues. So yes, Hun, I can understand your wanting to talk with your therapist.
Keep talking to her.

Hugs,
   Laurie

Offline kokasaki

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 21
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Queer
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2018, 08:18:05 pm »
I've been in therapy a lot and I remember my first couple therapists I really didn't like. I've found that it really makes a difference having a good therapist. For me, that means someone who will listen to me without just "interrogating" me by asking question after question and never let me bring up something of my own to talk about. It also helps me if they talk about themselves too. Not all the time, obviously, but just so that I can get to know them a little, to know the person who I'm telling a lot of personal information to.
'Cause I have wings, yes I can fly. Around the moon and far beyond the sky, and someday soon I know there will be... one small voice in the universe,
 one true friend in the universe, who believes in me.
-A song that I don't remember the name of that I heard a long time ago.


Offline Devlyn

  • Retired Links Admin
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 26,918
  • Reputation: +210/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Veteran, US Army
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2018, 08:27:20 pm »
I never wanted therapy, just letters, and I told them that upfront. Everything was handled quickly in a professional, courteous manner.

Sounds like you had the wrong idea about therapy until you actually tried it. Therapy isn't all about discussing the deepest corners of you psyche, it can be about the superficial as well.

I'll never understand why people are so reticent to try a therapist..

At $155 an hour, I have no trouble understanding why people are so reticent to try a therapist.

Offline salaniaseviltwin

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 71
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2018, 08:47:47 pm »
So quick update, I went to my second session on Monday. Just WOW. That's all I have got to say. Like I said, I didn't expect to continue to want to go, but just everything about her makes me want to continue. I know it sounds like I'm developing a thing for my therapist, but no. I'm not. We didn't talk about much, basically my goals in life and how I spend my down time. I explained how I'm fighting with myself over changing my name and gender marker before my birthday so I don't have to get a second license after my renewal this year, May 10th would be when I have to do it by. About my scheduled Orchiectomy a week after my birthday. How I've been going to school on and off for psychology with a focus on gender related issues. It seems like a lot but when we got to the name part, we talked for the majority of the time regarding that, because I was afraid my chosen name didn't fit. We somehow came to the conclusion that I didn't accidentally come upon the name Erika (feminine form of the Scandinavian name Eric meaning ruler), though I'm an introvert, I've always been dominant in my social life. There was a good 5-10 minutes of silence after the realization of the fact that I'm not as passive and meek as I seem to myself. I found it how she started seeing Trans patients, she basically face planted into it with her absolute first patient and has enjoyed it since.

This is going to sound really cheesy, but it was really liberating and I can honestly say I'm enjoying my time while I'm there so far. The best part is, she doesn't force conversation, she encourages it with simple and leading questions.

Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk

"Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that's the truth in people's minds."   -Steve Young


Offline salaniaseviltwin

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 71
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2018, 08:48:49 pm »
I never wanted therapy, just letters, and I told them that upfront. Everything was handled quickly in a professional, courteous manner.

At $155 an hour, I have no trouble understanding why people are so reticent to try a therapist.
This is true.

Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk

"Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that's the truth in people's minds."   -Steve Young


Offline PurplePelican

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 139
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2018, 10:56:45 pm »
I never wanted therapy, just letters, and I told them that upfront. Everything was handled quickly in a professional, courteous manner.

At $155 an hour, I have no trouble understanding why people are so reticent to try a therapist.

That seems more an issue with a "for profit" healthcare system...
This is not medical advice. Always consult your doctor.

Offline salaniaseviltwin

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 71
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2018, 11:01:20 pm »
That seems more an issue with a "for profit" healthcare system...
It's not necessarily that it's because it's "for profit," but that pricing is very prohibitive if your insurance doesn't cover it. I would already be at over $310 in debt because I saw my therapist if it wasn't for my insurance.

Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk

"Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that's the truth in people's minds."   -Steve Young


Offline PurplePelican

  • Friend
  • ****
  • Posts: 139
  • Reputation: +2/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2018, 11:32:04 pm »
It's not necessarily that it's because it's "for profit," but that pricing is very prohibitive if your insurance doesn't cover it. I would already be at over $310 in debt because I saw my therapist if it wasn't for my insurance.

Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk

I saw a therapist once a month for about 3 years, don't think it cost me any more than about AU$500 in total.

NB: I did pay my 2% of my taxable income as a Medicare Levy.. But last financial year, that was a total of about $1100.
This is not medical advice. Always consult your doctor.

Offline kokasaki

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 21
  • Reputation: +1/-0
  • Gender: Queer
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #10 on: March 01, 2018, 08:44:13 am »
Yeah, I'm lucky because growing up my parents both had jobs and I didn't have to worry about whether or not we'd be able to afford the usual therapy appointments.
'Cause I have wings, yes I can fly. Around the moon and far beyond the sky, and someday soon I know there will be... one small voice in the universe,
 one true friend in the universe, who believes in me.
-A song that I don't remember the name of that I heard a long time ago.


Offline salaniaseviltwin

  • Neighbor
  • ***
  • Posts: 71
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2018, 11:12:20 am »
I saw a therapist once a month for about 3 years, don't think it cost me any more than about AU$500 in total.

NB: I did pay my 2% of my taxable income as a Medicare Levy.. But last financial year, that was a total of about $1100.
Unfortunately, insurance and doctor's are both extremely expensive here in the US. We have to pay our insurance premiums, out copay, and a Medicare tax. So all in all, doctor's and healthcare cost the average insured person a couple hundred a month. My health insurance is roughly US$170 a month with a $20 copay per visit and for myself, roughly $60 per month in medication.

By no means am I saying it's more difficult in the US. I'm merely explained the current US health system. At least in Illinois with my employer.

Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk

"Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that's the truth in people's minds."   -Steve Young


Offline Devlyn

  • Retired Links Admin
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 26,918
  • Reputation: +210/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Veteran, US Army
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2018, 11:17:31 am »
My insurance is $660 a month and therapy isnt covered until I hit my $7,500 out of pocket limit.

Offline Kiera

  • Family
  • *****
  • Posts: 943
  • Reputation: +35/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • "Landed Airline Gentry"
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2018, 06:17:53 am »
My insurance is $660 a month . . .

My company cost is approx $360/mth plus my $30/wk == $480?

No idea what's covered that's just for me. If add dependant kids or entire "family" I'd be working for practically NADA!

Rather have money in pocket via better wage and manage own cost/savings. Of course "for profit" nobody is in business for "somebody else" but medical expenses like auto insure like utilities is Totally Out of Control!
"But it's no use now," thought poor Alice, "to pretend be two people!
"Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!"

Offline Devlyn

  • Retired Links Admin
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 26,918
  • Reputation: +210/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Veteran, US Army
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #14 on: March 02, 2018, 06:51:28 am »
I didn't have insurance at all until 2017, I  decided I was too old (55) to continue gambling on staying healthy.

Hugs, Devlyn

Offline DotSlashNatalie

  • Newbie
  • **
  • Posts: 15
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #15 on: July 18, 2018, 11:34:10 pm »
I think therapy can be a mixed bag. Around me there are at least several dozen therapists - and I live in a suburb area. It's like any other trade - there are good ones and bad ones. It took me hours just to compile a list, and then weeks to contact them and wait for responses.

I think for some people a therapist will have you realize things that didn't occur to you. A friend could easily do the same thing - but I think your mind might take a therapists comments more seriously and critically since you are paying them money.

I've seen 2 so far and neither have really made me feel like "wow I didn't realize that about myself" or even "wow I didn't think about it like that". But I think that is because I really don't have any "problems" more like "ok I'm trans - what's next?"

In my opinion to make the session the most successful is to walk in with a problem or set of problem(s) and talk through them.

Offline DawnOday

  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Reputation: +30/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Links Administrator
Re: Disappointment with therapy.
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2018, 12:23:53 am »
I just got the bill for a 5 mile ambulance ride. Total cost over $800. Luckily I only had to pay $100. Medical bills have been the bain of my existence. As to therapy I have to pay for it because SS doesn't.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:


If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17




Tags: