Author Topic: Is my FTM boyfriend losing interest?  (Read 308 times)

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Offline someonesgirlfriend

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Is my FTM boyfriend losing interest?
« on: February 21, 2018, 02:15:30 pm »
Hi, This is my first time here so don't really know how to go about things.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost ten months now, for as long as i've known him he's identified as male but only started T about 5 months ago. He started off on gel at first which made his temper a little shorter and made him hairier but other than that there was no major difference but as soon as he started his injections he seemed to get even more distant.

When we first got together he was so affectionate and made me feel so loved and now i feel like its a chore for him to even see me, like he wouldn't care if i left. (and it's not just like the classic honey moon period is over this feels completely different) I completely understand all these new hormones are flying around and i've always supported him from the start but it doesn't feel like he's trying to understand how his T isn't only affecting him its affecting me too. I'm going through this change too and its all new to me.

Sometimes i wonder if i should leave as i just think it'd be so much easier for him but thats really not what i want and he says it's not what he wants either.

I just love him so much and wondered if anyone else has gone through this and if it gets any better or if its destined to just fall apart?

Need to talk to people who might understand.

Offline Jessica

  • "If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."
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Re: Is my FTM boyfriend losing interest?
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2018, 03:59:40 pm »
Welcome to Susan’s Place!  I’m Jessica, a transgender woman.  I’m so happy you’re reaching out for help here.  Relationships can change, but with communication they can survive.  If your both willing and wanting to stay together as you profess.  Seek counseling together or separate to find your common ground.  You are correct that he is dealing with hormonal changes he may not be used to and is looking for answers too.
I see your new here, so I’ll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site.

Please feel free to stop by the introductions forum
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html to tell the members about yourself. 

Things that you should read

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline Dena

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Re: Is my FTM boyfriend losing interest?
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2018, 05:48:15 pm »
Welcome to Susan's Place. Hormones can sometimes change how we feel and react to the world. In the case of MTFs we can experience emotions more. For FTMs its possible to become more emotionally isolated as emotions don't have the impact they previously did. This is one of the problems with people being treated exclusively under the informed consent program. I recommend either a gender therapist or possibly a couples consoler in this case so you can work through the changes that have occurred in your relationship. Like any couple, it's possible for you to remain together but you will need to establish  the communication between you in order for this to work.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use dena@susans.org if your unable to PM - Skype and FaceTime available - My Transition
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Offline Lady Lisandra

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Re: Is my FTM boyfriend losing interest?
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2018, 06:02:44 pm »
Hello! Hormones have an impact on emotions, and it is hard to manage the changes for both sides at first. Maybe he just has to get used to it, and understand that he needs to adjust his emotional output a little for you. Being in a relationship with a trans person during transition is not easy, but it is possible if both parts commit and put at least some effort in it. Communication is very important.

On the other hand... Maybe transitioning allowed his true personality to come out and you don't like it very much. I'm not saying this is goin to happen, but you should consider it at least a bit, so that you can be ready to leave whenever you feel you are not getting what you need out of this relationship.

You can always PM me if you feel like talking.
- Lis -

Tags: ftm testosterone