Author Topic: Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions  (Read 226 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline kami_nashi

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 5
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions
« on: February 22, 2018, 08:43:05 pm »
I've been lurking here for a few months now, because it appears to be a rich source of information regarding rather recent operations.  Now, I need to let go of being the reader and ask every one for help as many others seem to have done about a topic that has appeared more than a few times: Dr Rumer.

Its a bittersweet conversation.  I've been in contact with her office since July of 2017.  A complicated yet stable medical history has caused more than a few problems in getting clearance for surgery but what ends up being a problem here is communication between staff and client/patient.  Even today, with my surgery scheduled for April, I've found that communication problems still exist just like others have mentioned.  Because of insurance, travel requirements, and other factors she still appears to be my best option. 

What I'm telling myself is "If her skill and technique is as experienced as she says then it should be worth muddling through the other issues".   But is that really the case?  I've been reading and get so many mixed results.   I've been a healthcare provider, I understand how subjective these things can be, and how expectations or perceptions can vary so significantly. So if we drop the staffing and people out of Dr Rumer is there a satisfied person present?  Was she ever able to make it right if not?   I know there is a pretty damning thread from a girl who 3 years later has or is seeking another Dr to correct the work but is it just one?

Can some of ya reach out to me and backup either direction before I end up making a wrong/worse turn?

Offline Jessica

  • "If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."
  • *
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 2,253
  • Reputation: +14/-0
  • Gender: Female
Re: Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2018, 09:08:18 pm »
Hi Kami 🙋 Welcome to Susan’s Place!  I’m Jessica, a trans woman.  Yes there have been a number of women here lately having wishes fulfilled.  I am not one but I’m sure someone can help.
I see your new here, so I’ll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site.

Please feel free to stop by the introductions forum
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,8.0.html to tell the members about yourself. 

Things that you should read

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Online Devlyn

  • Retired Links Admin
  • *
  • *
  • Posts: 26,348
  • Reputation: +203/-0
  • Veteran, US Army
Re: Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2018, 09:09:58 pm »
Big hug! Congratulations on the upcoming date. Having the jitters is normal.

Once I was scheduled, I didn't speak to the surgeons office again until pre-surgical instructions. I'm curious what you need from them.  :)

Hugs, Devlyn

Offline kami_nashi

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 5
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2018, 08:43:29 am »
Thanks Jess, Devlyn.

So I was unfortunate to have some cancer background in my medical history.  I disclosed that information because missing a testicle would likely cause a lot of questions at surgery time.  This is also where all of my problems begin with Rumer's office.  Since my cancer was in 2005 and I've had zero follow up on it - she wanted clearance.  That was fine and typical but how things were handled after that is where I start having issues with the staff.

Rumer said she wanted oncology to clear me.  Oncology wouldn't even schedule me for any kind of appointment with out a doctor referring me as an active cancer patient to receive treatment.  I eventually got a urologist to look at my records and redo my tests for clearance.  Everything checked out, he said I was good to go and would do the needful paperwork.

It took weeks for her office to juts acknowledge the paperwork - that was first week of December.  Then, they were too busy to review them.  In January, I begged for an update to which they said that they still needed clearance from oncology/hematology, and pulmonology.  That was never mentioned last year nor is it relevant to any of my medical history.  I had to bring this to my primary care doc and she called bulls**** on it too. 

She actually called their office directly to clear up the problems.  A week after that, I was finally given a day, 2 months later than what we had discussed last year. And why? Because of poor communication and poor quality of work on the staffing level.  They just would not listen nor respond to emails in a timely fashion.  Forget about phone calls after the first few times - I had to leave several voicemail and emails in December just to get "oh we're too busy".

With all of that, I'm ready to just accept that when I call or email, I'll get silence in return. I'm prepared, based on other's threads, that if I call for toilet paper, it will take days.  But was what she did for you worth such an emotional price?   Its hard for me to word this accurately, but did the results of her job and experience, standards of care (which is a legal obligation), and medical provisions enough to say you'd do it again?  Even that is so subjective, it has to difficult to put faith on a response due to anatomical differences from person to person but its still relevant.

*Slight edit*
Because of communication issues, I'm actually having a lot of anxiety over just the idea that I will have my IV in and just before sedation be told that they can't find some paperwork that is missing or never even requested and stop there.  I'm literally having dreams and nightmares about these things because of past conversations.  My words to my therapist were "We're not out of the woods until there are no more trees.  I'll have to wake up in pain from surgery before I can get excited about all of this"

Offline trishanne68

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Reputation: +0/-0
Re: Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2018, 08:33:06 pm »
My consultation was scheduled in a very timely manner. The consultation went better than I ever expected, I was so exicited as I knew that I was making the right choice of a doctor. The staff never followed up with me despite several calls on my part. I have enough issues in life that I don't need to beg a medical practice for service. My search continues.

Offline kami_nashi

  • Visitor
  • *
  • Posts: 5
  • Reputation: +1/-0
Re: Drama, Fear, Anxiety, Rumer, Decisions
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2018, 10:21:54 pm »
The timely consultation is pretty accurate.  There were a few times early in the process that I had emailed concerns and gotten a call from Rumer herself to clarify, but in the end that proved to be pointless since the information discussed was erroneous.

In part, I feel the same way.  You're a business, I'm a customer.  I've money and no reason to be turned away.  Must be nice to be able to just run off people.  At the same time, I've worked with enough incompetent people that I could be completely over short comings in this area - no amount of politeness or otherwise will change surgical results so that is what I'm trying to get a handle on.  I have scheduled a consult with another doctor already but I've not cancelled my existing appointments with Rumer yet.

Tags: