Author Topic: Attaining Victor(y)  (Read 176 times)

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Offline VictorSpoils

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Attaining Victor(y)
« on: February 22, 2018, 11:42:07 pm »
Hello Susan's Place...I've been lurking here for a while and often stumbled upon old forum threads just through Google, and since this place seems relatively active and my life is speeding up (also relatively) I figured I would take a step and join. My name is Victor, I'm 18 and FtM, and will be starting college this fall. In a way I feel like I picked a bad time to come out to myself since I won't be home long enough to get therapy, nor am I independent enough to make major changes at the moment. I mostly come because none of the support/resource groups in my area are easy to get to or attend, so the internet is the next best option.

It's strange. My whole life I've seen my ideal self as male, and I've even met several trans boys and men of whom I was jealous for the longest time. But when I sat down and realized that I could become that ideal self for real, I tried so hard to convince myself I was delusional. I will be trying to find a therapist or counselor when I am away at school. I am very, very fortunate in that my area is rich in LGBT resources and support, which has helped immensely in sorting out my initial feelings, but before I even think of going on T I feel it best to speak with a professional. Until then I am looking for ways to start presenting as male...the less permanent ways like binding my chest and wearing my hair short. I am currently in the process of coming out to people, though my family is not included in that group for the time being.

I know I'm on the younger end of things, so I might not be the most talkative, but this website has already helped me a ton, so I'm happy to be here.

Offline Jessica

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2018, 11:50:28 pm »
Hi Victor! Welcome to Susan’s Place!  I’m Jessica, a trans woman.  I’m glad you’ve come out of the lurking zone!  I believe you will find the support you need from Susan’s.
I see your new here, so I’ll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site.


Things that you should read

... it's like running a car on ethanol when it's supposed to take gasoline... it'll work, but it's eventually gonna break down until you put it on the proper fuel.

Offline LohmanTelshor

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2018, 11:51:45 pm »
Hi Victor,
When i was in college they had psychologists there.  I sought counselling thru the college and my parents didn't even know.  Maybe they have them at your college??

Offline V M

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2018, 01:07:06 am »
Hi Victor  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS

 
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Online Kendra

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2018, 11:31:08 am »
Hello Victor(y), welcome to Susan's! 

Sounds like you have an excellent plan - aiming to discover and build the best possible future when you start college a half year from now.  I think that's great. 

Your family might surprise you in a good way.  No guarantees, but I've seen and experienced results from coming out that were unexpected.  The main thing is taking charge of your destiny, you own it! 

Kendra
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, GCS-2 & BA 7/2018. 

Offline Laurie

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2018, 10:06:50 pm »
Hi Victor,

  I'm Laurie,  We are happy you are here. Welcome to Susan"s place.

Hugs,
   Laurie
Hi, I'm Laurie

“Sit with me, and I'll not be alone. Hold my hand, and I'll not feel alone. Cry with me, and I'll no longer suffer alone.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich,

May 11, 2018 I am Laurie Jeanette Wickwire
May   3, 2018 Submitted name change forms
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Jun  26, 2017 Last day in male attire That's full time I guess
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Dec   4, 2016 Started estradiol and spironolactone




Offline The Flying Lemur

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2018, 10:33:52 pm »
Welcome, Victor!  :)  Just a thought about when you cut your hair--consider going to a barber shop or at the very least a stylist that specializes in men's haircuts.  Stylists who usually work with women tend not to get guys' cuts right.  You might also want to do what I did and bring in a picture of a man with the kind of cut you want.  That will signal to the person cutting your hair that yes, you really do want a man's haircut, and not a "pixie cut" or anything nightmarish like that.
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. --Joseph Campbell

Offline VictorSpoils

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2018, 11:18:14 pm »
Thank you all for the welcomes! I appreciate it very much.

Hello Victor(y), welcome to Susan's! 

Sounds like you have an excellent plan - aiming to discover and build the best possible future when you start college a half year from now.  I think that's great. 

Your family might surprise you in a good way.  No guarantees, but I've seen and experienced results from coming out that were unexpected.  The main thing is taking charge of your destiny, you own it! 

Kendra

Thank you, this means a lot! My family is very left-leaning and errs on the side of acceptance, so I'm hoping when I work up the confidence that they'll work towards understanding.

Welcome, Victor!  :)  Just a thought about when you cut your hair--consider going to a barber shop or at the very least a stylist that specializes in men's haircuts.  Stylists who usually work with women tend not to get guys' cuts right.  You might also want to do what I did and bring in a picture of a man with the kind of cut you want.  That will signal to the person cutting your hair that yes, you really do want a man's haircut, and not a "pixie cut" or anything nightmarish like that.

Alas! The only hair stylist that's viable for me at this time primarily sees women. Honestly as long as the sides and back are somewhat shaved I can deal with a more femme cut, so I'll try to make that as clear as possible.

Offline sam.i.am

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Re: Attaining Victor(y)
« Reply #8 on: February 26, 2018, 04:16:53 pm »
Hey,

Welcome, Victor. Being young is no less valid than being older! I learned that recently,  as I'm 32 just recently out as FTM. Be proud of yourself that you've come thus far already. It's not easy and definitely worth patting yourself on the back. It'll all fall into place eventually. Especially that you have a plan of what you want, need and what you are going to do. Make it happen, its all up to you.

Support is all around :)

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