Author Topic: Do you pass or not?  (Read 8768 times)

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Offline Lady Skylar

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #160 on: June 13, 2018, 12:51:17 pm »
Not only do you Pass. But you are hot
I thought from your picture you were a cis Male.

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Offline Mendi

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #161 on: June 14, 2018, 02:43:03 am »
I think I can start to be quite confident, that I pass most of the time.

Yesterday while visiting certain health related office, I was given two condoms, for women  :)

I first looked at them, that oh my, these are huge condoms!  ;D Second thought was, that are these somekind of new condoms for anal sex  ;D

Until I realised that they are condoms for women, not men...

Perhaps those will be useful after surgery and healing.

Offline Artesia

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #162 on: June 16, 2018, 05:43:44 pm »
I'll most likely need FFS to totally pass as female. I'm 54 and I haven't even started hrt therapy yet, and I have many years of T damage lol. I was supposed to have started hrt last week but now I'm just waiting on my doctor to ship my hormone medications. The VA doctors are slow about everything though.

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Depends on which one you go to, I think.  The Indianapolis one had me the meds same day.  They may have a support group available to you as well.  I need to start going again.  Which one are you using?


Also don't worry about FFS until HRT has done it's thing.  You may be surprised.  You can also get laser at some VA facilities for facial hair.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date

Offline Lady Skylar

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #163 on: June 16, 2018, 06:09:15 pm »
Depends on which one you go to, I think.  The Indianapolis one had me the meds same day.  They may have a support group available to you as well.  I need to start going again.  Which one are you using?


Also don't worry about FFS until HRT has done it's thing.  You may be surprised.  You can also get laser at some VA facilities for facial hair.
Wow, that's good to know about laser hair removal at the VA. I didn't know they would do that. I'm in Las Vegas and they only mail your prescriptions here. Very rarely do they let you pick up meds at the pharmacy.

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Offline Artesia

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #164 on: June 16, 2018, 06:22:33 pm »
Wow, that's good to know about laser hair removal at the VA. I didn't know they would do that. I'm in Las Vegas and they only mail your prescriptions here. Very rarely do they let you pick up meds at the pharmacy.

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Bummer.  I may see you later this year or early next.  That is one of the places Me and my fiancé are thinking of getting married.

I know it's a long shot, big town and all.

My primary care physician is the one who set it up for me.  The VA website says it does not do this treatment, but apparently there is a loophole that my Doctor used.  Probably helps that she is on LGBTQ spectrum somewhere.
All the worlds a joke, and the people, merely punchlines

September 13, 2016 HRT start date

Offline Donica

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #165 on: July 16, 2018, 11:40:36 am »
At my age, I don't worry so mush about passing as much as I worry about having the health to continue my journey. For me, passing is just the icing on the cake. I just hope nobody worries what grandma looks like.  ;D
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2018, Full time July 9, 2018.

Offline kaitylynn

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #166 on: July 17, 2018, 12:24:01 pm »
The whole passing thing can be a super sore subject for a lot of us.  When I started HRT and I was pretty convinced I would need AT LEAST a complete head transplant.  I was conivnced that this passing thing would most likely pass me up and I would always be misgendered...forever more.  That was several years ago now.

The first year was rough.  Noone could see me as anything but a "sir" or "dude".  Disheartening, but several of my sisters helped me to stay strong and hold to my course.  They promised things would change and I always thought, "that's sweet of you...but I know you are just being kind".

After that first year, something started to happen.  I was most certainly misgendered, but I began realizing that people were actually avoiding gendering me at all...like they could not tell, so they just left it alone.  I also started to get gendered correctly without any prompting or work on my part...so I knew something was up.  This continued on for about another 6 months and by 2nd transiversary, I was so rarely misgendered as to count it not happening.  It was a fair split of people gendering me correctly or not gendering at all.

About 6 months ago, almost all misgendering stopped, about 25% skipped gendering entirely and I was being correctly gendered 75% of the time...and I was amazed.  My routine is the same, a little eye makeup...but I still am stuck wearing a masculinizing uniform shirt and cap.  I figured it was just people being polite, but then I started to realize that these are strangers getting it right and they are not being prompted ahead of time.

HRT can do wonders and I realized that the effects just take a while.  I have gotten a fair share of "told you, patience is paying off!" from my friends who were urging perseverance.  For all of that, I still think I look like I did before, am still my own worst critic and still have plenty of self doubt to contend with...but I am doing it while being seen as the woman that I am :)
Katherine Lynn M.

You’ve got a light that always guides you.
You speak of hope and change as something good.
Live your truth and know you’re not alone.

The restart - 20-Oct-2015
Legal name and gender change affirmed - 27-Sep-2016
Breast Augmentation (Dr. Gupta) - 27-Aug-2018

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #167 on: July 17, 2018, 02:18:11 pm »
At 11 months on HRT, in my case it's very much hit and miss. If I'm wearing the right outfit, I will get gendered correctly. If I'm wearing something baggy they will misgender me even with makeup on. I don't think my face is super masculine, more like androgynous and they probably just go the safe route and think I'm male. Plus my voice doesn't help lol.

@Kaitylynn's reply above gives me hope but I don't think I'll want to wait 3 years for HRT to work. I will probably get FFS way before that.

Offline Sleepydf

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #168 on: July 17, 2018, 05:15:55 pm »
Not yet. Hopefully soon.

Offline kaitylynn

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #169 on: July 17, 2018, 07:34:37 pm »
At 11 months on HRT, in my case it's very much hit and miss. If I'm wearing the right outfit, I will get gendered correctly. If I'm wearing something baggy they will misgender me even with makeup on. I don't think my face is super masculine, more like androgynous and they probably just go the safe route and think I'm male. Plus my voice doesn't help lol.

@kaitylynn's reply above gives me hope but I don't think I'll want to wait 3 years for HRT to work. I will probably get FFS way before that.

I am now on a plan that includes FFS, but I heeded the wisdom of some women who are out ahead of me a ways.  They all told me to give HRT its chance.  Truth be uttered, I actually did consider it seriously at a year.  My therapist agreed that I was a candidate, but I held off.  It is a choice sooner or later, either one is valid.

Have you considered your time frame?  I decided on a 5 year end plan.  This is for purposes of being able to keep my vacation topped off with my company for BA, FFS/VFS and finally GRS.
Katherine Lynn M.

You’ve got a light that always guides you.
You speak of hope and change as something good.
Live your truth and know you’re not alone.

The restart - 20-Oct-2015
Legal name and gender change affirmed - 27-Sep-2016
Breast Augmentation (Dr. Gupta) - 27-Aug-2018

Offline Sojourn

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #170 on: July 19, 2018, 03:40:39 am »
I used to think I passed. I mean, I don't think everyone realizes I'm trans, but I now realize most do. I've realize I don't pass because about a year ago I moved to a much more liberal place. It's the kind of area where people have no qualms about asking you "What are your preferred pronouns?" if they clock you. They assume every trans person is open about it. Now don't get me wrong. These people would never treat you "bad", but once someone knows, they will never be treat you like a cis woman.

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« Last Edit: July 19, 2018, 11:41:09 am by Kendra »

Offline Donna

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #171 on: July 19, 2018, 07:24:45 am »
I have several trans female friends and each and everyone of them in their minds eye pass. No way would it ever be proper for me to tell someone they look pretty but don’t pass. I’m not the judge of that. In October 17 I swore I could never wear a dress or hair or makeup. I also swore I would never pass. I love every day as a female and “passing “ is such a minor part of what is important to me. To me I pass and no one has been rude enough to tell me I don’t.
My voice gives me away and I’m beyond caring as I’m living for my true self, I look better than some cis females and I don’t mean that in a derogatory manner. We all can’t be supermodels.
One cis friend always compliment on the fact I have nicer skin and finer arm hair than her and to me that is the ultimate pass. To be accepted as an equal by a cis woman and to call them friend and they return it. I have some amazing conversations with cis women about topics I would never have imagined and dreamed of. This is the ultimate pass
With out acceptance into a new world, that of the cis female then even if you look like a supermodel you are not there. I’ve had women strike up a conversation in a store just because of the way I look and present and even when they hear my voice it doesn’t change the conversation at all. This again is the ultimate pass. Looks and appearance are only a small part of passing and each of us is unique in our spectrum. We need to embrace all from our short hair, no makeup different stages of transition 5 o’clock shadowed transwoman just as we need to embrace the stunningly amazing looking ladies and everyone in between without judgement. We have no right to judge others only accept them.
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

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Offline Mendi

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #172 on: July 19, 2018, 08:04:29 am »
There´s what 3,5 to 4 billion women. All of them unique faces and bodies. Not all looking like the models in photoshopped pictures and which most seem to take, what it means to pass?

The more you live the more the whole concept just start to seem crazy. I look like one of those 3,5 to 4 billion women, unique in my own way.

No, I don´t look like the model in a photoshopped picture...I look like me...

And like Donna said, looks is just part of it. Being accepted among women, means more to me also, than to look like a photoshopped model.

Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #173 on: July 19, 2018, 02:56:09 pm »
I am now on a plan that includes FFS, but I heeded the wisdom of some women who are out ahead of me a ways.  They all told me to give HRT its chance.  Truth be uttered, I actually did consider it seriously at a year.  My therapist agreed that I was a candidate, but I held off.  It is a choice sooner or later, either one is valid.

Have you considered your time frame?  I decided on a 5 year end plan.  This is for purposes of being able to keep my vacation topped off with my company for BA, FFS/VFS and finally GRS.

I already had BA and lipo this year. If I get things my way, I will get FFS in the next 6 months (crossing my fingers). I really cannot deal with people misgendering me or staring at me trying to figure out what I am, I'm mentally strong because I mostly don't let it bother me but there's just so much a girl can take on a daily basis! I just wanna be perceived as a regular woman. SRS probably sometime next year.

Online Sonja

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #174 on: July 19, 2018, 08:44:16 pm »
To be accepted as an equal by a cis woman and to call them friend and they return it. I have some amazing conversations with cis women about topics I would never have imagined and dreamed of. This is the ultimate pass
Very well said Donna.

Sonja.

Offline Maid Marion

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #175 on: July 23, 2018, 05:43:46 am »
I present a guy and routinely get misidentified as a girl.

Just after 9-11 with me and my wife in an  empty airport as we arrive really early,  The TSA guy greets us as two girls.  I’ll walk up to an ice cream stand in T shirt and shorts and be identified as a girl.  I think my gait or walking puts me in girl category.

But, the most feminine aspect is my behavior.  Yesterday a lady backed up into me pulling her shopping cart and instead of yelling I just ducked out of the way.  I’m programmed to avoid contact.  There was an old guy who wanted to give me an unwanted hug.  But I was too quick and he never made contact!  Men behave more aggressively than I do.

At 5’ 3” I’m too short.  At 108 pounds I’m too thin.  Most guys don’t have a 26 inch waist or hips as wide as their shoulders.  No Adams Apple.  And giving my obviously male name just confuses people on the telephone. Can you spell that again?

At an upscale grocery store a young man working cashier got into a hilarious loop in which he couldn’t decide my gender.  He’d take a hard look.  Then another and another...

I’ve finally gotten to where I think it best for me to just present myself as me.  Being misidentified no longer bothers me. 

Offline Donna

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #176 on: July 23, 2018, 07:48:13 am »
That’s the whole beauty of it maid Marion. You can just be you. Your description of you sounds just like my nephew. Short and tiny but he is outgoing and fun and a terrific person. If you are happy being you then don’t worry about what others may think. You are the one that needs to be happy. I’m sure we all get the looks, the voice messing with people and the double looks. After a while they don’t matter any more and life is great.
Have fun and be you
December 2015 noticed strange feelings moving in
December 2016 started to understand what my body has been telling me all my life, started wearing a bra for comfort full time
Spiro and dutastricide 2017
Mid year 2017 Started dressing and going out shopping etc by myself
October T 14.8 / 456
Came out to my wife in December 2017
January 2018 dressing androgenes and still have face hair
Feb 2018 Dressing full time in female clothing out at work and to friends and family, clean shaven and make up
Living full time March 1 2018
March T 7.4 / 236
April 19th eligard injection, no more Testosterone
June 19th a brand new freshly trained HRT and transgender care doctor for me. Only a one day waiting list to become her patient 😍

[/

Offline big kim

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #177 on: July 23, 2018, 10:54:36 am »
I present as myself, I always ride my Harley in protective armoured clothing. On Saturday I went to open night at the Liverpool Hell's Angels clubhouse. I have a deep voice & am big but guys held doors open for me & pulled chairs up for me. I'm sure they must have guessed as I met some of them last year when they stayed next door but I was accepted. Sooner be accepted than pass.  https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/32841504_634250660259461_8706391560784183296_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=dfda15f90df509f94581e5a6e25e5b59&oe=5BD1A5B2

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/31046354_621161471568380_2876802617080545280_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=6778bec6b6b4e6dc454a18dacb2e46b3&oe=5BDA9AE8

Offline MaryT

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #178 on: July 23, 2018, 11:19:18 am »
I present as myself, I always ride my Harley in protective armoured clothing. On Saturday I went to open night at the Liverpool Hell's Angels clubhouse. I have a deep voice & am big but guys held doors open for me & pulled chairs up for me. I'm sure they must have guessed as I met some of them last year when they stayed next door but I was accepted. Sooner be accepted than pass.  https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/32841504_634250660259461_8706391560784183296_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=dfda15f90df509f94581e5a6e25e5b59&oe=5BD1A5B2

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/31046354_621161471568380_2876802617080545280_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=6778bec6b6b4e6dc454a18dacb2e46b3&oe=5BDA9AE8

You look great, especially on your Hog (I hope that's the right word, I'm not a biker myself).

From what I've seen on threads like this, I think that many trans women think that they could not possibly pass because they don't look or sound like a young, sylph-like Audrey Hepburn or such.  However, there are plenty of mature and formidable cis women who are treated with even more respect than the cuties.


Offline Charlie Nicki

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Re: Do you pass or not?
« Reply #179 on: July 23, 2018, 11:19:42 am »
I present as myself, I always ride my Harley in protective armoured clothing. On Saturday I went to open night at the Liverpool Hell's Angels clubhouse. I have a deep voice & am big but guys held doors open for me & pulled chairs up for me. I'm sure they must have guessed as I met some of them last year when they stayed next door but I was accepted. Sooner be accepted than pass.  https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/32841504_634250660259461_8706391560784183296_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=dfda15f90df509f94581e5a6e25e5b59&oe=5BD1A5B2

https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/31046354_621161471568380_2876802617080545280_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=6778bec6b6b4e6dc454a18dacb2e46b3&oe=5BDA9AE8

Kim you look great!

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