Author Topic: Stevi's Saga  (Read 13662 times)

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Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #420 on: October 05, 2018, 07:55:36 pm »
Donica,

Thanks to you, too .  Your encouragement and support are appreciated.

Charge!,
Stevi

Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #421 on: October 18, 2018, 07:14:11 pm »
Humorous and happy event.

I have been to the doctor and had my prostate biopsy done.   I told you all about its scheduling a while back.  It all went well with ner a hint of issue with female me having a prostate biopsy.  Well, while I was under the house installing ductwork, my wife picked up a call on my phone from the urologist's office.  They asked for Mrs. Jones.  She informed them that she was Mrs. Jones.  They then proceeded to inform her that her prostate biopsy was negative.  We are both happy to know we have a healthy prostate.

I am making progress with the ductwork install.  I have enough installed that we can pump a little heat into the house.  None too soon.  It is headed into the forties for a low tonight.

Stevi 

Offline Laurie

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #422 on: October 18, 2018, 08:38:19 pm »
 Hi Stevi,

  I am glad to hear both Mrs Jones are happy over the negative result of that prostrate biopsy. I am also glad you are still making progress on those repairs. Stay warm and cozy.

Hugs,
  Laaurie

Offline JudiBlueEyes

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #423 on: October 18, 2018, 09:00:05 pm »
Well wasn't that a fun experience?  (ask me how I know!)  My news wasn't so good, meaning that part is now gone!

Good news for both of you!!!

Judi

Offline Donica

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #424 on: October 19, 2018, 12:03:42 pm »
Humorous and happy indeed Stevi. A song comes to mind, "Mrs. Jones" written by??? Oh well, never mind. I'm glad both of your prostate biopsies came back normal. I have to say you sound healthier than I am crawling under the house installing duct work.

Hugs,
Donica.
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2018, Full time July 9, 2018.
Started FHR August 9, 2018, Started VFT September 19, 2018.

Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #425 on: October 27, 2018, 08:14:12 am »
I have so catching up to do.

First, the heating system repairs Florence commanded me to do have been completed.  The house is all ready for a winter's blast.

Second,  the very last important person in my life that I felt needed to know has been successfully, brought on board.  I had reached out to that friend more than two months ago.  At that time he was in ICU with complications from heart surgeries about fifteen years ago.  Failing grafts.  I chose not to burden him with my issues until he had his own under control.  He almost didn't make it.  One night about a week after I spoke to him, he needed to be defibrillated.  Fortunately he was still in the hospital.  He seems to be on the mend but they are still adjusting medications.  Anyway, I sent him an email and he soon returned a brief but affirming reply.  I have since spoken with him on the phone.  He opened the conversation with "HI, Stevi." and we spoke of his recovery, my recovery from the hurricane, the nor'easter that was drenching me and headed his way and of some business related loose ends affecting me that he is trying to get his work associates to take care of.  Situation normal.  Normal is good.

With that revelation to my last important person in the rearview mirror, I need to make my official shout out to my world on Facebook.  Last time I was visiting our daughter, I warned her that after I spoke with this last friend I was going to come out on Facebook, pictures and all.  I need to let her know the time has come.  I don't have a large following on Facebook so it will likely be a non-event for the most part but she needs to be prepared for any eventuality since Facebook loves to spread the news for us. This flower should be in full bloom within a few days.

Yesterday evening we entertained a couple of our past cruising friends.  We had them over for my pizza.  We had a great several hours catching up with what's been happening since we last were together.   Since much of what has been happening was with me and my wife, the conversation was largely about me and my wife.  They were interested and Penny and I were open.   Had really good time.

Stevi


Offline Donica

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #426 on: October 27, 2018, 09:26:04 am »
Dear Stevi! I'm glad to hear everything is going well with your home, friend and your SO and cruising friends. I also came out on FB. I was surprised how supportive everyone was. I think you will see the same thing.

Hugs,
Donica.
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2018, Full time July 9, 2018.
Started FHR August 9, 2018, Started VFT September 19, 2018.

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #427 on: October 27, 2018, 10:07:41 am »
@Stevi
Dear Stevi:
Well, it is nice to see a happy and good news report from you this morning when I logged in. 
I am so glad that most of your post-hurricane damage to your home is taken care of and your your heating system and other things are ready for winter's blast!!!   Here where I live we have fresh snow on the mountains and hills behind my home and light snow on the ground this morning...   23 Deg F   ...Burrrr ....  but it is very beautiful.

Very good to hear that your "last important" friend's health is stabilized and he addressed you as "Stevi" and that he is very accepting of you... very good indeed.

Regarding Facebook, I trust that all of that works out well for you as you reveal more about yourself there in the next few days.  I trust that your daughter will be prepared to handle the questions and comments that she will get about you.

Ahhhh, having a nice visit at your home and a pizza with your good cruising friends, always a nice way to spend an evening with people that are your good and accepting friends.

Good reports are always a nice thing to see here on the Forums.
Thank you for sharing.
Wishing you well.
Hugs,
Danielle
Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
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Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #428 on: October 27, 2018, 03:54:29 pm »
Donica and Danielle,

Thanks for noticing, girls.

I just finished with a phone call with our daughter where coordinated our checkin for our upcoming family cruise.  That is the first week of December.  Past cruises with her with me as the old me.  She seems to be ready to be with the new me in all my glory.  Won't really know till the time actually comes.

Before I handed over the phone to my wife so they could chat, I let our daughter know that my Facebook coming out was imminent.  She seemed to be mostly OK.  She has been forewarned.  So, I will need to put together my coming out message over the next day or so.

Onward and upward,
Stevi

Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #429 on: October 28, 2018, 05:30:57 pm »
Coming out complete!

I have just put up a post on Facebook that completes my coming out.  It is confined to all my friends.  Not a fully public posting.  Along with an image of me (my current avatar) the content is:

Quote
Earlier this year, in the springtime, Penny and I began a process that we are, with this post, just now completing. It was a gradual process requiring many steps. Each taken in its proper order with much deliberation. Each taken with trepidation for the consequences. Each taken with hope the next would be easier. The first step was to inform our daughter, the most precious person in our lives. From there, we informed close family and friends, to gather support, all the while fearing rejection. That process is all but complete. Every person in our lives that we felt the need to inform first hand, has been informed. We are most thankful the news was, overwhelmingly, received with grace. Most all responded with love and concern for both of us. Truly a blessing.

The news is-- I am transgender. Furthermore, I have determined to live my remaining days as who I have always been in my mind's eye.

So, from this day, I will live boldly and proudly at all times and in all places with the love of my life, Penny, as Stephanie Rushelle Jones. To my friends, I am Stevi.

Hello, my name is Stevi. I am pleased to meet you.

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #430 on: October 28, 2018, 10:17:53 pm »
@Stevi
Dear Stevi:
WOW .... this is spectacular....  what a brave and bold announcement that you made on Facebook.... and with your current picture your friends will get your complete coming out story.   

How many of your friends did you announce this to?   .... and considering your Facebook friends, how many of them are of consequence and how many are not much different that acquaintances???   

If I may ask, what are you expecting for your acceptance and those that will not accept you???

I am very happy for you....
Hugs,
Danielle
Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
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Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #431 on: October 29, 2018, 05:47:29 am »
Danielle,

We told all those people in our lives that are close relatives, daughter, brothers and sisters, by direct, individual communication.  All of our parents passed some time ago, so they never knew of it.  We told those friends who are or have been an active part of our life in recent years with whom we desired to continue or reestablish our connections.  That left just a general announcement to wrap up the loose ends on Facebook so that "interested parties" would know and not be "surprised" if the news found them via the grapevine or some reference to some Stevi person in some conversation.  My friends on Facebook are not that many.  Mostly more distant relatives, some old work associates from pre-cruising days, the odd acquaintance from here and there along the way through life and some new friends who have never known the old me.  The Facebook announcement is maybe more of a signal that the secret is out and there is no longer a need to mind their ps and qs in their communications with me or about me.  I had asked everyone to be careful as I moved through the priority list and I went to all those who needed to hear from me, personally.

So far, there have not been any negative responses on Facebook.  With all that is positive there, I think anyone with a negative thought will keep it to themselves.  They would get eviscerated by my supporters.

Thanks, but I do not feel particularly brave or bold.  It is almost anticlimactic.  The process has been about eight months long.  There has been only one outright rejection- Miss Bee-in-her-bonnet who learned of it accidently and accosted my wife, verbally, on our front doorstep.  A couple of non-responses to letters or emails from us.  A number of ambivalent, live and let live, responses.  Unfortunately some of those were my own siblings.  That is probably the source of most of my disappointment.  Each of my siblings reacted pretty much as I had anticipated.  I had just hoped for more from them.  On the other hand, there have been incredibly supportive responses.  Some of those from old friends I fully expected the worst from.  Very pleasantly surprised.  Added bonus- In these recent months, I have made many knew acquaintances, some have become good friends, who have not known me as anything other than Stevi.  With these new people in my life, I have been completely open about who I am, now, and who I was for most of my sixty eight years on this orb.  That has been a liberating and joyful experience.

The first person on the list, our daughter, the only person we could not bear the thought of losing, is still struggling in some ways.  I get the feeling she is uncomfortable with me.  There is little discussion between us about my transition.  None of it is initiated by her.  Without feedback from her, I am always unsure of how to appear or what is OK to say or do.  Maybe it is more paranoia on my part than it is an issue on her part.  Without the feedback, I am left to wonder.  I have been trying mightily to be considerate of her needs and progress.  I forewarned her before I took each next step.  I waited between each step to give her some time to let the dust settle.  Time to wrap her head around it.  That is a big part of the reason it took eight months to reach this milestone.  I hope this announcement goes some way toward making her realize this is the way her father is.  It is not a dream.  It is not going away.  It is not an earthquake.

Most of my transition is in the rearview mirror, now.   My friends and family know,  My documents are pretty much all corrected. Still fighting with getting the gender marker right at Medicare.  I am hoping to spend some more time regularly around home so I am considering some regular appointments with an electrocutioner if I can find one within reach physically and financially.  Shaving is such a pain.  I get a hankering to have the GRS, at times.  My wife has said she expects it to happen some day and she is sure she is OK with it.  Most times I think I will be fine without it.  But there are times....  It is a big expense, not trivial, especially for us older folks, and not imperative, yet.  We all know how that process goes though.  Constantly pushing the envelope.  Never satisfied with enough.  Rather have it all.

Danielle, I hope you don't mind my stream of consciousness reply to a rather simple question.  Thank you for your support through these, sometimes trying, past months.

My thanks to all of you here at Susan's Place who have gone before and shown the way or traveled with me during this journey.

Hugs to all,
Stevi
« Last Edit: October 29, 2018, 08:25:54 am by Stevi »

Offline Donica

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #432 on: October 29, 2018, 08:46:10 am »
Congratulations Stevi! It's just takes time for some to take it all in. I'm sure your daughter will become more and more comfortable as time goes by.

Hugs,
Donica.
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2018, Full time July 9, 2018.
Started FHR August 9, 2018, Started VFT September 19, 2018.

Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #433 on: October 29, 2018, 07:11:33 pm »
Donica,

Yes, on my good days I am confident she will make the adjustments.  Funny thing.  I have come out to conservative leaning friends and been graciously welcomed into their hearts and come as you are.  Our daughter is definitely in the liberal camp.  The Father-Daughter relationship really makes for some cognitive dissonance at times when it comes to this particular situation.

She will make the transition, pun intended, I am sure... I think..... I hope..........

Hugs to you,
Stevi

Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #434 on: November 06, 2018, 10:11:38 am »
Another milestone soon to come.

I am out to all who needed to hear directly from me.  I made an announcement on my Facebook page but that doesn't reach many people.  Certainly not everyone who knows me.

My former employer occasionally calls on me to go back for issues and updates on some of the equipment I helped design and build for them way back when.  I have been out to HR as well as my principal contact and co-worker there since not long after my name change this past April 30th.  There was no need to disrupt the workplace with a broader disclosure back then.  Well, they have asked for me come to the plant and deal with several problems for them.

I contacted HR and let them know that I am totally out and not going to be hiding who I am.  Not that I will be particularly feminine looking while there.  It is after all a manufacturing environment and my task is maintenance related.  Not the time or place for lace and high heels, by any means.  However, I thought they should consider the effect of obvious changes in me that I am not in a mood to hide, even if I could.  So, they have spread the word to those with whom I will likely be around and need to interact.

I am pretty sure it will all go well.  Still there is a bit of a knot of apprehension in the stomach.

Added to that, the plant is in the area where my wife's family is from.  This will be the first opportunity for them to see the new me since we came out to them.  I am not going to overwhelm, them but I don't want to leave the impression that nothing is any different, either.  There is, also, a niece I feel I need to give a pass.  She is nearly 60 years old.  She is inflicted with hydrocephalus.  She has outlived the doctors who, 60 years ago, gave her 5 years.  She outperformed everyone's expectations.  However, her fate is finally catching up to her.  I have always been "Uncle Steve" to her.  She waits in giddy expectation for the moment during my visits when I breakout with "Oh, Susanna!"  I don't think she needs to have to process the change to "Aunt Stevi".  I think I am going to have to walk a fine line with this mini-reunion.

Stevi

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #435 on: November 06, 2018, 10:19:49 am »
@Stevi:
Dear Stevi:
Thanks for updating all of your followers....   you have quite a list of things that you are carefully juggling as you continue on ...( and also as Aunt Stevi)   :)

Regarding your progress as you continue to come-out to family, friends, co-workers, etc. ... there is so much to consider as to how and when and you have been very successful with your efforts.   I think that how you are handling your work situation sounds like a good plan.

Regarding family... yes indeed there are those like your niece and others that we do indeed need to "walk a fine line" 
All we can do is to be honest and at the same time considerate....  yes, for sure, a fine line!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hugs and well wishes,
Danielle
Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Offline Donica

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #436 on: November 06, 2018, 11:16:46 am »
Hi Stevi! I understand your concerns with your co-workers. I too am occasionally called into work in a manufacturing environment and hiding anything at this point isn't going to happen. Ever since I came out to them there has been an uneasiness feeling in the air with my co-workers but I think part of it is my own uncertainty. With time, they and myself become more relaxed and go on about our business.

Since it sounds like your niece loves you and has shown such strength throughout her life, and given her unfortunate condition, a fine line may be the right choice, but I would also not underestimate her either. Your wife's family has known you for so many years that, as anyone else, they may except you without question, or will just need time to take it all in.

I hate those knots of apprehension in my stomach. But there is only one way to get over them. A tactful fine line perhaps. I have found that I have underestimated 99 percent of my family and friends. I hope everything goes well.

Hugs,
Donica.
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2018, Full time July 9, 2018.
Started FHR August 9, 2018, Started VFT September 19, 2018.

Offline Stevi

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #437 on: November 08, 2018, 02:18:24 pm »
I HATE THE SOCIAL SECURITY ADMINISTRATION!!!!

I, again, like a good little girl did as I was told.  I waited 30 days to check on Medicare's correction for my gender marker.  This time was no different than the last and the one before and the....  "Sorry, I checked the Social Security records and they do not show female.  You will need to contact Social Security to get them to correct their records."

I called Social Security and after an hour and eighteen minutes of hellevator music noise, I got to talk to a representative.  I explained my problem.  He spent a few minutes digging into the records and comes back with, "You will need to go to your local Social Security office and have them correct the gender marker."  Now this is a new variation on the theme of "It is wrong but I can't fix it.  I could not understand why I needed to make the trip to an office.  After a bit of an exchange that did not make it clear, I asked, politely, I think it was politely, for a supervisor.  He said he would get one and put me on hold.  After several minutes he came back on the line and informed me that he had corrected the gender marker and I would receive a new Medicare card in about four weeks.  Well, I blew up.  I read him the riot act.  He just did the same thing that they did to me the last upteen times I called about this after waiting in the queue, for almost two hours sometimes.  First off, a new Medicare card is no longer needed.  The new cards do not have a gender designation on them.  I need Medicare's records to indicate FEMALE so I can fight with my insurance provider to change their records so next time I go for a another health service I do not have to deal with the discrepancy in the records.  I, again, asked for a supervisor.  He told me he had not been able to find one available and if I gave him my number he would have one call me.  That triggered another explosion.  I was told twice before that a supervisor was not available and that one would call.

My expectation-  No one will call.  Medicare might send me a new card for no good reason.  It does not have gender on it so I will not know if it is fixed in their records.  I will, after four weeks, have to call Medicare to find out that it is not updated in their records.  I will have to call Social Security to find out that it is still wrong in their system.  And the cycle will be repeated, ad infinitum, I fear.

Aaarrrrgggghhh!
Stevi

Offline Donica

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #438 on: November 09, 2018, 02:14:28 pm »
Jezzzz I know! I'm waiting for new SSA and Medicare cards. You would think after all these years they would have this down. I guess that's asking too much from the government. Did you have any laps in your benefits from SSA? Jezzz! I hope they get this right my first time. I can't afford a laps.

Donica.
Rebirth June 9, 2017. Started HRT August 22, 2017. Came out June 16, 2018, Full time July 9, 2018.
Started FHR August 9, 2018, Started VFT September 19, 2018.

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Stevi's Saga
« Reply #439 on: November 09, 2018, 08:07:05 pm »
Hi Stevi,

Well I’m struggling for words, it’s terrible what you are facing with Medicare, it’s one side playing off against the other, it’s almost like you need a judge to issue an order against them to pull there bleeping finger out!

I’m glad you are almost done with your house repairs after the storms, I hope things are getting back to normal locally.

It sounds like your plans to come out to everyone is going ok, apart from the odd few I’m sure you will receive universal acceptance.

Hugs

Nicole

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