Author Topic: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?  (Read 2468 times)

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Offline Shellie Hart

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #60 on: April 06, 2018, 02:23:16 pm »
Being that I wish my parents would have never met and I never had been born I suppose it would be fair to say I feel a bit trapped in the wrong body
Same here, unfortunately. I simply should not have been born the way I was (or at all). My parents were/are so selfish in so many ways. They only had kids to be a reflection of their own longings and wishes. I was expected to be a certain specific kind of guy. I failed them so miserably. Yet, if I had to be born, I guess I can fanaticize about how they (my parents) should have been. Too bad we can't wish into existence our own destinies...
I'm just an otherwise average guy (well, not really a guy anymore) who was born with a girly-shaped body and is just trying to get through life without too much hassle. I hated my body until I accepted my true self over a decade ago. I once hated my long feminine legs and feminine features, but I love my body now. I feel my legs are my best physical feature (but my breasts are catching up ;)). Now I am on the road to transition that has transformed me after twenty-eight months on HRT. Love my new (improved) feminine body and life! ::)

Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #61 on: April 29, 2018, 06:42:04 pm »
What are your thoughts of this sentence: trapped in the wrong body?
- I think of it as an over-simplification, but not wrong. I think it can be a useful phrase to try to explain what dysphoria feels like for me, but I don't tend to use it myself cause I think it's not quite good enough, but also not a bad way of putting it.

Do you feel that way?
- Somewhat. I feel more like I'm trapped in the wrong gendered/sexed body. Cause it's just been the gendered aspects of it that have been wrong, not for example my eyes, hair colour, skin, etc. I'm more likely to say I was born as the wrong sex, and that has made me feel trapped in my own body.

Did you feel that way? When did you stop feeling that way, if ever?
- I'm not sure if I feel like that anymore now that I'm practically post-transition and much more comfortable with my body. That feeling of my body being wrong started fading sometime after top surgery, which was also around the same time as my effects from testosterone really started to take off and make me much more passable. It wasn't instant though, but a very slow change from feeling entirely "wrong" about my body to feeling more like "this is starting to feel right."

Do you think that phrase accurately depicts the trans experience?
- Eh, I'd say somewhat. As I said before, to me it's an over-simplification. It kinda looks to me like it's akin to saying one's entire body is just all wrong, when in actuality it's really just the gendered aspects that are wrong or incorrect. Saying "trapped in the wrong gendered/sexed body" -would be more accurate for me at least. I can't speak for anyone else about that though. The trans experience is of course very individual, even though there might be some general consensus on the matter.

Do you think it over-simplifies our experiences? Or do you think that's a good thing to make cis people understand?
- Well, sometimes over-simplifying a complex matter is the best way to at least start a conversation with people who don't know much/anything about that topic. Like if you're gonna explain to someone who's never been to a school or know what a school even is, what the education system is like, it doesn't make much sense to jump straight into the finer details of grades, scholar ships and student-teacher dynamics. So then it might be better to say something like "it's a place you go to learn stuff" even though that is an over-simplification.

I think the same way about exlaining being trans and/or having dysphoria to people who don't know what that's like, aka cis people. Which is why I often say phrases like "I was born a girl but then became a man" cause even though that isn't entirely accurate, it's simple enough to understand and gets the point across, and then I can get into the finer details of how it feels and what transitioning is like. I think the phrase "trapped in the wrong body" can be used in the same way. I've learned that expressing myself more simply is much better when wanting for cis people to get an understandable picture of what it's like for me to be trans. And to avoid metaphors, cause that just confuses people even more. But that's just my experience.

I definitely use a more crude and "old-fashioned" way of expressing myself when I talk to cis people about me being trans. That's, perhaps strangely, the way I prefer to talk about it. It feels more relaxed and straight to the point than using more complex expressions/words that really only are known about within the trans community. So I feel like I have to speak in ways I'm not comfortable with around other trans people a lot of the time. My view on sex/gender is a bit more rigid than the more modern view, with a binary thinking and very focused on the physical aspects. So I really don't mind using phrases like "trapped in the wrong body" or say I had a "sex change" or whatever.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - legal name change
Mar. 2010 - officially diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped 1 year after
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed
*
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition, applied for name change
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T

Looking into: breast augmentation/reconstruction, maybe voice training, change legal gender marker back to female, get a new ID-card, maybe get some laser hair removal.

Offline PurpleWolf

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #62 on: April 30, 2018, 06:12:20 pm »
Do you feel that way?
- Somewhat. I feel more like I'm trapped in the wrong gendered/sexed body. Cause it's just been the gendered aspects of it that have been wrong, not for example my eyes, hair colour, skin, etc. I'm more likely to say I was born as the wrong sex, and that has made me feel trapped in my own body.
And that is a great explanation!!! I've been thinking about this thread etc. and concluded myself that yeah, only the gendered aspects are wrong, and mainly it started feeling wrong at puberty when things started changing in the wrong direction...

Did you feel that way? When did you stop feeling that way, if ever?
- I'm not sure if I feel like that anymore now that I'm practically post-transition and much more comfortable with my body. That feeling of my body being wrong started fading sometime after top surgery, which was also around the same time as my effects from testosterone really started to take off and make me much more passable. It wasn't instant though, but a very slow change from feeling entirely "wrong" about my body to feeling more like "this is starting to feel right."
That's cool to know! And also consoling.

I think the same way about exlaining being trans and/or having dysphoria to people who don't know what that's like, aka cis people. Which is why I often say phrases like "I was born a girl but then became a man" cause even though that isn't entirely accurate, it's simple enough to understand and gets the point across, and then I can get into the finer details of how it feels and what transitioning is like. I think the phrase "trapped in the wrong body" can be used in the same way. I've learned that expressing myself more simply is much better when wanting for cis people to get an understandable picture of what it's like for me to be trans. And to avoid metaphors, cause that just confuses people even more. But that's just my experience.
Sure! Seems like a good approach  :)
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

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(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day

Offline SeptagonScars

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #63 on: May 01, 2018, 03:51:47 pm »
And that is a great explanation!!! I've been thinking about this thread etc. and concluded myself that yeah, only the gendered aspects are wrong, and mainly it started feeling wrong at puberty when things started changing in the wrong direction...
That's cool to know! And also consoling.
Sure! Seems like a good approach  :).

I got my first "sign" of my body being wrong a few years before my puberty, but it was more of a social aspect than my body itself, although it got me a bit aware of things not being entirely right. But yeah, having dysphoria has often given me that kind trapped feeling, but more trapped in my sex rather than the entirety of my body.
I'm glad it's consoling :)
It's just one approach, cause I'm sure there are more ways to go about that too.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - legal name change
Mar. 2010 - officially diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped 1 year after
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed
*
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition, applied for name change
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T

Looking into: breast augmentation/reconstruction, maybe voice training, change legal gender marker back to female, get a new ID-card, maybe get some laser hair removal.

Offline Eryn T

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #64 on: May 01, 2018, 05:09:10 pm »
This is so enlightening hearing everyone's different points of view! And I did not know that, Hugh! That's really REALLY interesting!

I think I might definitely be in the minority here, but I am glad I was born male.  I don't know what my life would have been like if I were born female. Realistically, it wouldn't matter much, because the things I care about now might have been completely different.

I don't hate my body for what it is, I love and appreciate it for how it's going to help me become more feminine. I have like the flattest ass ever, but it's a little perky, too.  I have girly wrists, nothing super duper masculine to overcome, so I think in a way, my body knew this transition was going to come someday and was always waiting for it.

It's true that I used to scratch open my face and stuff, but this wasn't because I was trying to claw off my skin because I hated my body, it was because I hated my self. I just wasn't at harmony with myself because I didn't realize transition was even a possibility for me. Since I've started this journey most of my life-long 'ticks' have all but vanished!
Looking to make and keep friends! Spreading the love, now that I can truly love myself!

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Offline PurpleWolf

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #65 on: May 02, 2018, 05:45:16 am »
This is so enlightening hearing everyone's different points of view! And I did not know that, Hugh! That's really REALLY interesting!

I think I might definitely be in the minority here, but I am glad I was born male.  I don't know what my life would have been like if I were born female. Realistically, it wouldn't matter much, because the things I care about now might have been completely different.

I don't hate my body for what it is, I love and appreciate it for how it's going to help me become more feminine. I have like the flattest ass ever, but it's a little perky, too.  I have girly wrists, nothing super duper masculine to overcome, so I think in a way, my body knew this transition was going to come someday and was always waiting for it.

It's true that I used to scratch open my face and stuff, but this wasn't because I was trying to claw off my skin because I hated my body, it was because I hated my self. I just wasn't at harmony with myself because I didn't realize transition was even a possibility for me. Since I've started this journey most of my life-long 'ticks' have all but vanished!

Eryn, so cool to hear that  :D!
As you know I'm pre-T but just having that legal name change was HUGE for me!!! It made me feel validated as if I already transitioned. It's been just 2 months but I already tend to forget I look female at all  :D! I felt this giant inner PEACE knowing that I was able to do that and finally legally exist as me - and knowing I was gonna start the process finally  :). So for the first time in years I feel peace and no distress and have something to look forward to! It still feels surreal and amazing that people (like here) are able to see/think of me as a guy and that I'm finally able to do something about this! It feels like I woke up from a life-long nightmare and my dream is now my new reality  :D! It takes some time getting used to!
!!!REBIRTH=legal name change on Feb 16th 2018!!!
This is where life begins for me. It's a miracle I finally got it done.


My body is the home of my soul; not the other way around.

I'm more than anything an individual; I'm too complex to be put in any box.

- A social butterfly not living in social isolation anymore  ;D -
(Highly approachable but difficult to grasp)


The past is overrated - why stick with it when you are able to recreate yourself every day

Offline Corrina

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #66 on: June 17, 2018, 10:22:50 pm »
Right body wrong parts!

Offline Doreen

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #67 on: June 18, 2018, 02:34:03 am »
Hmm trapped in the wrong body.  As I say that I look down AT my body.  Its not terrible.  Sure my boobs could be bigger, waist narrower.. hips bigger...

But then I look at the people around me too where I live.  Most if not all the cis women my age are much heavier, much less defined waistline & appearance.  Overall I've taken care of this body pretty well.  I've had a couple surgeries to make it fit 'my' profile better.

It could've been better, sure.. I could've been born 'right'.  Life isn't fair, never was.  I'm making the most of what I've been gifted with on this earth.. incredibly complicated biology notwithstanding.

I don't hate my body; I just wish it was.. cuter.. better.
Oh well.

Offline Shellie Hart

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #68 on: June 18, 2018, 08:31:14 am »
Hmm trapped in the wrong body.  As I say that I look down AT my body.  Its not terrible.  Sure my boobs could be bigger, waist narrower.. hips bigger...

But then I look at the people around me too where I live.  Most if not all the cis women my age are much heavier, much less defined waistline & appearance.  Overall I've taken care of this body pretty well.  I've had a couple surgeries to make it fit 'my' profile better.

It could've been better, sure.. I could've been born 'right'.  Life isn't fair, never was.  I'm making the most of what I've been gifted with on this earth.. incredibly complicated biology notwithstanding.

I don't hate my body; I just wish it was.. cuter.. better.
Oh well.

Nailed it.

Same for me: "But then I look at the people around me too where I live."

For me, presenting as male outside home, I have noticed nearly all the males my age have developed very pronounced and obvious bellies. Many of them have guts hanging over their belts. To me this is disgusting. Then here is me with a very pronounced and protruding chest (breasts) with no belly at all. The difference, I know, is obvious to them. And I am conscious of it.

I don't think I would have allowed myself to "go" as they have if I was not trans. But still, I guess I have taken care of myself well enough not to go to hell physically as they have. Anyway, if I grow even another half cup size or so, I will be more than just a skinny guy with overly developed pecs under these baggy shirts....
I'm just an otherwise average guy (well, not really a guy anymore) who was born with a girly-shaped body and is just trying to get through life without too much hassle. I hated my body until I accepted my true self over a decade ago. I once hated my long feminine legs and feminine features, but I love my body now. I feel my legs are my best physical feature (but my breasts are catching up ;)). Now I am on the road to transition that has transformed me after twenty-eight months on HRT. Love my new (improved) feminine body and life! ::)

Offline AlexanderDS

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #69 on: July 22, 2018, 02:29:30 am »
For me, the phrase rings true. Of course I have no idea whether that's because I've heard it so often and the cis perspective is always the dominant one - but I do feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body. Like a mistake was made at birth. I'd like a right of return, but alas.

Offline Danielle Kristina

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #70 on: July 27, 2018, 11:58:20 pm »
I’ve been wondering this for years!  While many MtF’s at very young ages insisted that they were really female, this wasn’t the case for me.  I believed myself to be a boy but secretly desired to be a girl, but that’s not the same as insisting that my gender is different than my sex.  I’m now 37 years old and as far back as I can remember I wanted to be a girl (no I was not intentionally pinning a Goodfellas quote), even throughout my adulthood.  But I still lived and believed myself to be male.  In the last few months I finally came to terms with the fact that I’m transgender.  So am I a man who wants to be a woman or am I a woman trapped in a man’s body???
April 19, 2018: First post here on Susan’s Place
April 27, 2018: First session with my gender therapist
July 30, 2018: Received my HRT letter
September 3,2018: Came our for the first time

Becoming me more every day!!!

Offline alex82

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Re: Do you think you are/were "trapped in the wrong body"?
« Reply #71 on: August 09, 2018, 12:00:44 pm »
Yes I did, always. Coupled with a sense of rising panic.

It's the only real sign I had. No dysphoria as such. Until maybe 14 and I had to shave my face. Only really about that.

But a sense of being trapped in the wrong body, and a real rising panic from that which was sometimes overwhelming. Yes. A really frightening sensation.

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