Author Topic: Outted by my Boss  (Read 491 times)

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Offline nickthedinosaur

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Outted by my Boss
« on: April 07, 2018, 07:00:00 pm »
So long story short, I need all the advice I can get. 

I left a position for reasons unrelated to my transition (ftm) because I have been in stealth for quite some time now.  I was working for a police agency at a school and had a private conversation with the detective about my situation and asked him to keep it private.  Which he did and I never had further issues. 

My documentation is all completely changed including my birth certificate. 

One of my old coworkers texted me because she got fired for standing up for me to the administration.  As it turns out my old boss (who I’m sitill not convinced should have had access to my background check) made a comment to the coworker that she wouldn’t recognize my old pictures because she, “found out from my background check that I’m transgender”. 

Now this coworker had zero idea and neither did anyone else at the department.  However, now I have no idea who she’s told or if she told anyone while I was there.  Which also begs the question as to if that’s why I was being targeted and treated differently. 

I have no idea where to start and what my legal options are reguardig this situation.  Because it was a topic that never should have been brought up.  I have been living I’m stealth and my housemates at the time STILL have no idea that I ever even transitioned. 

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Outted by my Boss
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2018, 07:20:16 pm »
Hello Nick (nickthedinosaur), I wish that I had experience in what you are going through with your boss outing you....  I am self-employed and own and operate my own small business so I won't have that specific issue... but there will be other members here that will come along when they see your posting... some of them will certainly be able to suggest the next moves you might make in that situation.   Please be patient, members here can be very supportive with others in similar situations as yours.  Thank you for sharing. 

I see that you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 
 
WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your transition and to read about others transitions and their trials, tribulations, and successes in their transition journey. 
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment in your journey you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
 
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Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
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Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Outted by my Boss
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2018, 07:30:23 pm »

@ Nick:   
Oh, and another thing, be certain  to stop by the Introductions Forum to tell the members here about yourself. 
You will be noticed as a new member and you will receive more interaction from other members here as they will then be aware of your arrival on Susan's Place.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place
Danielle

Check out my Personal Threads that have more details about myself (click Links):
   "I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles"
               "Positive Mindset... put away negativity"
                            "Susans Writers and Book Readers"

Started HRT March 2015  3½ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Offline Dena

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Re: Outted by my Boss
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2018, 07:45:18 pm »
Welcome to Susan's Place. I am not a lawyer so the best advice would come from one. My personal opinion is it would be best if you forget about this and move on with your life. If you still worked with the company and the company had a LGBT policy, the company could do something about the manager. As you no longer work with them, they have little incentive to take any action. If you want to take them to court, you will have large legal expenses and it's very unlikely you will win the case.

Being transgender may have resulted in me losing two job. Like you, I didn't have much in the way of legal options so I had to move on and rebuild my life.
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Offline Zoe_Kay

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Re: Outted by my Boss
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2018, 04:34:40 am »
So long story short, I need all the advice I can get. 

I left a position for reasons unrelated to my transition (ftm) because I have been in stealth for quite some time now.  I was working for a police agency at a school and had a private conversation with the detective about my situation and asked him to keep it private.  Which he did and I never had further issues. 

My documentation is all completely changed including my birth certificate. 

One of my old coworkers texted me because she got fired for standing up for me to the administration.  As it turns out my old boss (who I’m sitill not convinced should have had access to my background check) made a comment to the coworker that she wouldn’t recognize my old pictures because she, “found out from my background check that I’m transgender”. 

Now this coworker had zero idea and neither did anyone else at the department.  However, now I have no idea who she’s told or if she told anyone while I was there.  Which also begs the question as to if that’s why I was being targeted and treated differently. 

I have no idea where to start and what my legal options are regardig this situation.  Because it was a topic that never should have been brought up.  I have been living I’m stealth and my housemates at the time STILL have no idea that I ever even transitioned.

I'm so sorry this happened to you!  What kind of people do such things?
"To grow, you must be willing to let your present and future be totally unlike your past. Your history is not your destiny." ~ Alan Cohen

Offline Sarah1979

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Re: Outted by my Boss
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2018, 10:35:42 am »
I'm so sorry this happened to you!  What kind of people do such things?

The kind of people that assume they know what goes on in another's mind, then project that assumption into the world... toxic narcissists for the most part.

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