Author Topic: Currently confused and puzzled  (Read 387 times)

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Offline Norsea2018

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Currently confused and puzzled
« on: May 17, 2018, 09:49:17 am »
Hi there,

I'm a 27 year old guy and looking for some advice, help and opinions.

So I've always known I was a crossdresser from a young age, having liked pantyhose, stockings and suspenders, lingerie and heels etc. Though I always assumed it was more of a sexual kink for most of my youth until recently.

I've been with my girlfriend for about a year now, or just over, and I felt comfortable enough to tell her about the dressing up which she embraced in private. Next I advised I wanted to go out dressed up and while this was a bit more difficult for her, she agreed. We've been out on nights out partying quite a number of times now with her doing my hair and makeup, and a handful of times into town during the day. Though over time I feel like I want to dress up more and more, to the point where I feel like I want to present myself every day in female clothing and appearance. I am happy being a male though, and happy with my body, but I just feel like I identify more with wanting to look feminine and appear as a female. I haven't told her this, as we have had arguments about the dressing up in the past and it still tends to be a thing I do when she allows it, as she's stated to me that she's attracted to men and not women and wants me to be her boyfriend and occasionally I get to be a girl, which is completely understandable.

Though I feel like I find myself just waiting every day now for the next time I get to dress up, and when is it going to be? And trying to find opportunities to be able to do it, then sometimes causing arguments as my girlfriend won't allow it. In terms of my sexuality, I see girls in work or just in public that are attractive and I'm attracted to them and I'm not attracted to men per say, for example if I dressed like a girl everyday I'd still want to be in relationships with females. But then part of me also wants to BE them in the sense of what they are wearing/get to wear, like, even as simple as office wear, skirt, blouse, pantyhose etc.

I told my friend group about the dressing up and have been out with them dressed up too as they have all been very accepting of it and embracing. My parents and sister also know and while my sister was fully accepting my parents reaction was not as they are more old fashioned. Though once my sister explained it to them they calmed down and we made amends and they apologized for how they initially reacted and our relationship as a family is great.

I just don't really know what I'm supposed to do in this situation, as I do love my girlfriend and we live together, part of me questions whether this is where I want to be as I'm not totally happy and feel like there's a whole other side of me now that is waiting to be explored and I feel a bit held back, though I worry about what happens if we broke up and how much it'd hurt her, and the ramifications of that. I also worry about my family relationship too, as if I told my parents I wanted to live as a girl full time I think that would be a bit too far. As once we resolved the initial shock, it got swept under the carpet and I don't mention it or bring it up around them at all, I don't flaunt it in any way when I see them.

My revealing it to my girlfriend, friends and family only happened within the last year, ten months and before that it was something I kept completely secret and felt ashamed of it, but now I feel like I've shed all of that anxiety, doubt and shame surrounding it and don't care if other people either take it or leave it.

So yeah, that's my story and where I'm currently at and am just wanting people's thoughts, as mentioned above.

Thanks in advance for your help and time.

Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Currently confused and puzzled
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2018, 09:53:22 am »
Hello Norsea2018   Thank you for your very informative and interesting introduction post.  I am happy that you joined us and are now posting.
 
I see that you are new here and may have questions and concerns, this is the right place for you to be to find out what others have done that may have been in your circumstances. 
Be aware that there are lots of members here that can identify with the issues that you brought up in your introduction posting. 
 
WELCOME to Susan's Place.  You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others about your common trials, tribulations, and successes in your life journey.
It is nice that you have signed up so you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other members.
When frustrated or if you have a successful moment you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
 
***It's a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new friends here. 

Please come in and get involved at your own pace.  Be sure to look at the Links that I posted below, there is information about the site that will help you navigate around and best utilize the features here.
Again, Welcome.
Danielle
 

Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:


Things that you should read
Check out my personal Thread that has more details about myself:
 "I am the HUNTED PREY :  Danielle's Chronicles"

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.0.htm
Started HRT March 2015 3+ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
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Online Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Currently confused and puzzled
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 09:57:49 am »
Oh, by the way Norsea2018, so that the other members here on the Forums will know that you have become a member of Susan's Place please go to the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself and to briefly tell the other members here about yourself!   You will then have a better chance of getting the answers that you are looking for regarding your specific interests and you will be able to share with others as they share their experiences with you once they know that you have arrived.
Again, Welcome to Susan's Place,
Danielle

Check out my personal Thread that has more details about myself:
 "I am the HUNTED PREY :  Danielle's Chronicles"

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,236395.0.htm
Started HRT March 2015 3+ years ago, it's been an exciting journey
>>> I've been Full Time since December 2016 :icon_chick:
I am 38 years old, Single, and Self Employed in a small town up in the COLD North.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
.




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Online Dena

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Re: Currently confused and puzzled
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2018, 04:23:28 pm »
Welcome to Susan's Place. This becomes a matter of determining what you need and how badly you need it against your desire to remain with this girl. It also somewhat depends on how far she is willing to let you go. It gets even more complicated because the line you must not cross may move if you take things slow and easy giving her time to adjust to each change you make. The best advice is if you can't easily resolve the issue, both of you should attend couples consoling so you have the input from a third party. I am sorry I can't help you more but what your asking is far to complex to determine with the information you have provided and it would take therapy to really fill in the blanks.
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Online Sonja

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Re: Currently confused and puzzled
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2018, 05:14:25 pm »
Hi Norsea,

What Dena said above is the best advice. Go see a counselor together, its a good mechanism for both of you to 'air' your feelings in a constructive way. Hopefully it will give both of you greater insight and perspective to move forward.

Sonja.

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