I've been traumatized by the Catholic church. I went to Catholic schools, the whole thing. Being raised to believe in a God that will put you in hell for eternity if you exercise the supposed free will he's granted you with is absurd on it's face. Teaching kids that they're sinners doomed to hell if not for the fact they their "original sin" was washed away in baptism is frankly sick. Teaching kids that straying from the perfect path makes you a damnable sinner is abuse. I internalized all of this as I rose in the ranks from attending Catholic pre school through Catholic college.
Deep down it never made sense to me. An all loving, all knowing, all powerful god who is infallible apparently made his only mistake when he/she made me. And should I ever act on any of my feelings I'm doomed to hell. Nice thing to teach kids. Really. Self hate under the guise of salvation and righteousness.
All from a church that covers up child rape within its ranks for decades and continues to do so today. Moves pedophile priests around to new a new parish or diocese when there's too much heat, so he can rape some new kids in a new zip code. I'm a sinner destined for hell if I live as god made me, but the child rapist priest and his accessories after the fact are some sort of moral authority? Gross.
The idea of god as a spiteful teenager who can't control his rage while masquerading as "the light" and all that is good makes no sense. The God of the Torah, especially, if he was a person wouldn't even be a good person let alone a perfect divinity. An all loving all powerful god that's spiteful, jealous and cruel? Ok.
None of this is to say I've abandoned the concepts of Christianity entirely, but I'm no longer Catholic thank god. I have no use for any man made dogma in any religion. The idea that Christians and only Christians are saved through Christ and everyone else is doomed is ridiculous. Even those who never heard of Christ are doomed. Same goes for other organized religions and their beliefs in "in-group-only" salvation. Perverted versions of religions who think the sin of being gay or trans is worse than throwing a gay or trans person off a rooftop.
I've settled on a spirituality that all world religions got it wrong, but were put on the right path to the idea of a Creator. Maybe they all shared some common revelation that started the religion that was then shaped by the cultures of the people. Later the human institution these religions became inevitably became rotten and corrupt.
Yeah, I condemn the pope and his church. I don't need you to connect with God. You condemn the transition I'm considering whilst complicit in covering up child rape. See you in hell I guess!