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HRT thread with a difference

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Hope it's ok to do this, but I'd like to have a HRT progress type thread of my own, but it's not me, it's my partner who is transitioning. Thought it may be interesting for other SOs to see how things pan out, how it affects me and our relationship etc, and also maybe for those you who are going through it to see it through the eyes of the SO.
Brief history (I've posted several times on Susans already). Last September after pussyfooting around for several months the transgender question came to the fore. At the time I truly believed that any hormone therapy would be the line I couldn't cross in terms of our relationship and it would be the end.
He (and he uses male pronouns, so please respect that until such a time that may change) starts on low dose Estrogen patches tomorrow. And I'm still here.
My emotions are all over the place. Before anyone starts telling me what a wonderful partner I am to be so supportive - I'm not. I don't want him to do this, I never wanted him to do this, I don't even know if it's the right thing, but if it's what he really believes he needs, I cannot stand in his way.
So far, he presents male or androgynous (mostly female jeans etc, female underwear at all times), has long hair (no big deal, he's had long hair ever since I've known him), shaves his body all over (I never liked hairy men either, no big deal), has 2 earrings, plucks his eyebrows and wears a little subtle make up sometimes.
We have teenage kids, who don't know. He doesn't want to come out publicly or go full time. I think his dysphoria is body, not social and not genital (he likes his penis and enjoys using it), he doesn't want any surgery. He loves breasts more than anything.
The reason for the HRT is primarily for him to find an inner peace. It may work, it may not, but we are giving it a go.
As I've mentioned in other threads, we enjoy a good sex life, and that is one of my main worries. I am willing to adapt things, and we already have been having slightly different sex.
Wish me luck. And PLEASE don't tell me to enjoy the ride. It's not my ride.

Thank you for doing this, interesting to see another viewpoint .

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Big hug! I've followed your posting since you first came here. I have much respect and love for the partners who come here looking for information, trying to make it work. Good luck with him.

Hugs, Devlyn

Communication about everything, but especially emotions is key.  And I would recommend a LGBTQ friendly therapist

Day 1. He hasn't grown a pair of 40DDs or turned into Dame Edna yet  ;D

He was very considerate this morning. I thought he'd be up at the crack of dawn and attach the patch of doom first thing, but he didn't. He wanted to wait to make sure I knew when he was doing it. So it got put on late morning. A tiny little thing, not much bigger than a band aid. How can something so innocuous have such power?

I've been very wobbly. Crying a lot, but we have hugged a few times. He's being quite clingy, I'm being a bit reticent. It's psychological of course. I think maybe somewhere deep inside I thought he might change his mind at the last minute, but of course I knew he wouldn't. I feel like it's the beginning of the end of my life as I knew it, how I wanted it to be. Still want it to be. I can't believe it's actually happening, rather than just being something we discussed 'for the future'. This is it :(

I also feel guilty, because I know he wants to be happy that he has started now, but the way I'm feeling is upsetting him. Raining on his parade somewhat. I'm trying to be cheerful around him, but I'm not fooling him.

Last night we both cried a lot, tried to make love, but we were both too tired in the end (and over the hill for too much of that sort of thing!) so just went to sleep in each other's arms. I say sleep, I didn't sleep very much. Didn't want today to come.

The only 'symptom' he's had so far is errrrr....flatulence! Ha ha. Probably more to do with  the vegetarian dinner we had last night. Other than that he feels nothing, no feeling of calmness, no happiness, no euphoria....just normal.

That's all for now.



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