Author Topic: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us  (Read 1560 times)

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Amaki

Ok I had no better 'catchy' title for this, but Ive read and talked with a few people and I mean honestly from experience as well I really dont believe that they do. A lot of kids are bought toys and told play with these that doesn't mean much right, I know my best friend who is in the same boat gender dysphoria wise I talk with her a lot, she did have barbies and what not but she also have toys like Terminator and anything Alien(movie not just aliens lol). But growing up I played more with like Lego's and K'nex it didn't change how I felt or feel now.

Mostly I think its an argument from the older generation trying to justify why we are how we are with no real proof, I guess Im just looking to see what type of toys everyone had growing up

I did enjoy playing imagination style games but its not like I was ever rolled as the mom or anything either lol I dont know 

Offline Doreen

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2018, 11:13:12 pm »
Ok I had no better 'catchy' title for this, but Ive read and talked with a few people and I mean honestly from experience as well I really dont believe that they do. A lot of kids are bought toys and told play with these that doesn't mean much right, I know my best friend who is in the same boat gender dysphoria wise I talk with her a lot, she did have barbies and what not but she also have toys like Terminator and anything Alien(movie not just aliens lol). But growing up I played more with like Lego's and K'nex it didn't change how I felt or feel now.

Mostly I think its an argument from the older generation trying to justify why we are how we are with no real proof, I guess Im just looking to see what type of toys everyone had growing up

I did enjoy playing imagination style games but its not like I was ever rolled as the mom or anything either lol I dont know

I was given the matchbox cars & gi joe <poo> & just gave it to my younger brother.  The only toys I had were my stuffed animals and I did play with my sisters My little ponies too.  I wasn't super 'girly' either.. but I certainly wasn't into the mac truck gi joe theme either.  I guess I was just me :)  I  did play a lot in the garden & the woods.

Offline Eryn T

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2018, 01:32:30 am »
Cool thread Sophia!

When I was younger, I played Legos with my older brother(who suffered from dysphoria, but died before transitioning) and we used one of my dad's cameras to make stop-motion films, and then did voice-overs. He always did the girl voices, cause I couldn't.

I also had a Stretch Armstrong, and apparently those are STILL a thing lol
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Offline Shambles

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2018, 04:18:16 am »
I dont fit into the sterotype or wanting to play with girls toys, i did play alot with building stuff like micano (spelt wrong) and lego. Made a brill camra from lego once lol
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Amaki

Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2018, 09:47:37 am »
Yeah I never really got to play much with my sisters dolls (barbies and what not) we had a dog that loved the heads of barbies lol. But I did sleep with stuffed animals (well two) until I was about 14 or so that was when my parents adopted (it gets confusing but he was always family just my grandparents who where raising him passed and so) my step-brother, and with no other place to sleep I got a roommate from that point forward. I know around this time I more or less played video games 24/7 and where I still took time out for the old toys they kind of went to the wayside more or less. Yeah i think it was a good question too lol lets see if we can get others to look,


This question is for everyone on this board the whole LGBTQI+ community we have. 

Offline ErinWDK

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2018, 11:04:49 am »
The first toy I remember having was a little stuffed dog.  She had a zipper along her back and inside were two puppies.  Not too sure of what to say about that.  Mostly I played with blocks and building stuff from back in the day.  Never had a doll until I got Raggedy Ann when I was thirty two.  I was DEEP in denying anything about being trans at that point but something in me made me buy her.  She is still in the house half a lifetime later.

I don't think toys really say a lot about being trans or not.

Offline zirconia

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #6 on: June 01, 2018, 11:56:06 am »
I loved playing with paper dolls. Baby dolls were all right, but not quite as nice, and anyway my parents didn't give me one. Although I did want one. I liked the long lashes, and how the eyes closed when you laid them down.

Barbies I also liked, although my father and some other adults said bad things about them. I think that to me they were a bit in the same category as paper dolls.

I also liked and wanted coloring books, but my parents were against them as well for some reason. I think they were supposed to somehow curb creativity.

Legos! Yes! Even now...

I did also like the electric car tracks that our friends had—especially if they had vertical loops. I guess it must have been the physics. I also liked to observe how tiny toy cars rolled on inertia, but don't remember ever pretending to drive them. I was baffled by how some boys seemed to know all the models—to me they all were... well, cars. Some just rolled better or were prettier than others.

I did like putting together plastic models, but didn't really play with them much once they were complete. In a way they were like Legos.

Superballs, or whatever they're called—the way they bounced was absolutely fascinating. As was the way an arrow flew when flung by a bowstring, and the way a kite caught and danced in the wind. Anything that soared through the air was lovely. I vividly remember the dreams where I myself would fall and find I could glide, rise and swoop like a bird.

As for ball games, I rather hated baseball, football and most other team sports except for volleyball. I also couldn't understand why they'd excite anyone other than the players themselves.

I loved sitting and floating in huge inner tubes and diving through them. And diving for shellfish and sea urchins, and cooking them over a driftwood fire while sitting wrapped up in towels with my sisters and other village children on the sun-warmed rocks.

And I loved to read. We weren't allowed to watch TV much, and my parents didn't buy us video games, but we had what felt like an infinite library... I also liked it when we read them aloud or made up stories to tell each other.

I also liked board games. As for video games—my parents never bought us any so we only played them at friends' houses. I bought my first one after I started living alone.

But this is already getting a bit long, and I'm drifting off subject so I think I probably should stop now...

Offline emma-f

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #7 on: June 01, 2018, 12:14:04 pm »
Year after year I asked Santa for a pink bicycle with a basket on the front. He never brought me it.

I hated getting dirty as a child, but did love my Lego!

Em

Offline biannne

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #8 on: June 01, 2018, 01:11:53 pm »
I was like most, i played with toy cars at very age. It wasn't till i was in my last year of HS that i started buying Barbie dolls.

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Offline Tessa James

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #9 on: June 01, 2018, 02:33:44 pm »
Since your post solicits opinions here is mine.  I once looked for validation of being transgender in my youth relative to my feelings and behaviors.  As a child I often felt out of place and my secret feeling was that I would grow up to be  a mom.  I enjoyed cooking, baking, taking care of the babies and reading.  I so wanted long hair.

None of that, IMO, made me transgender.  I consider self identification as transgender sufficient in and of itself.  Gender identity is intrinsic.  Behavior, and that includes preferred toys, is not a reliable indicator of anything.  People of any gender identity are able and welcome to play any role or with any toys that amuses them.

Gender identity is not reliably validated by behavior.  Too many lives lived locked in closets is one indicator that we cannot assume that what visibly fits is "proof" of anything.  I assume you, as an individual are the very best and most reliable source of info about your gender identity. 
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Amaki

Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2018, 03:23:28 pm »
Since your post solicits opinions here is mine.  I once looked for validation of being transgender in my youth relative to my feelings and behaviors.  As a child I often felt out of place and my secret feeling was that I would grow up to be  a mom.  I enjoyed cooking, baking, taking care of the babies and reading.  I so wanted long hair.

None of that, IMO, made me transgender.  I consider self identification as transgender sufficient in and of itself.  Gender identity is intrinsic.  Behavior, and that includes preferred toys, is not a reliable indicator of anything.  People of any gender identity are able and welcome to play any role or with any toys that amuses them.

Gender identity is not reliably validated by behavior.  Too many lives lived locked in closets is one indicator that we cannot assume that what visibly fits is "proof" of anything.  I assume you, as an individual are the very best and most reliable source of info about your gender identity.

We should have this framed, yeah I know that but we still have parents refusing to buy opposite gender style toys for god knows what real reason, homophobic or other reasons. I know I dont have to bring any of that up here we all know about it in some form. But yeah its just a general question and even with the few post it does seem a lot of us somehow came to the few gender neutral style toys mostly because we couldnt or where afraid to buy or get bought for us the toys we wanted.

Offline MoreThan2

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #11 on: June 22, 2018, 09:32:15 pm »
I played with all sorts of toys as a kid. I especially liked trucks, plushies, and animal figures. And of course I've always loved video games.

Offline Paul Muad-Dib

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2018, 10:59:21 pm »
Usually comes from that old argument that there should have been some "evidence" a person was not happy from the start in their "natural role". Which in turn comes from the general interest boys have in 'objects' as opposed to 'people' and vice versa for girls reflected in toy choice. There's some evidence to support this in science studies, but it doesn't mean a great deal even if it's so. Just because one sex prefers dolls on average to the other preferring cars doesn't mean each never picked up the other in a creche or from their siblings' toys.

Personally I always hated dolls - the kind that are meant to resemble babies with the eyes that close when you put them down flat and so on, but I also had very little interest in toys that looked like vehicles too. Lego, dinosaurs, robots and mecchano were irresistible, though. As were video games, although I had almost no staying power with the old ones that were actually difficult compared to modern ones which almost play themselves. And I noticed boys and girls picking up both of them as a kid. I also owned a large doll's house that was made for me by my carpenter father, and after I grew up I realized an interested in doll's houses and miniatures is something plenty of both sexes (usually older) are interested in anyway. There wasn't much evidence in my case of any particular gendered habits in toy preference... I seemed to get bored of the stereotypical choices almost as soon as I'd discovered them and gone for the middle ground and in particular for things I could build my own creations out of. In fact my all-time favorite toy was a cardboard box. Or plasticine.

It is true that they've studied primates and found female primates have more interest in dolls than male ones, and male primates have more interest in toy mechanisms and vehicles than female ones, but again it's an average. They will still pick up both.

People just automatically respond to the transsexual admission by trying to think back for "signs" you weren't like the other boys or girls. I don't think it's intended maliciously, just them trying to make sense of something they know nothing about... and if the compulsion is strong enough to warrant transition they tend to expect it have come from 'somewhere' (observable or tangible).

Offline MeTony

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Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2018, 12:59:22 am »
I played with cars, action figures, planes, lego, screwed every electronic equipment to pieces and put it back together. I played alot outdoors. Riding my bike that I had build myself, playing soccer, playing Karate kid and Rambo. Build my first computer in 1986, I was 9 years old. Made simple programs, text games, in BASIC.

I got a doll house from my grandmother. My mom told her not to buy it. She did anyway. My baby sister got the dolls and I used the house as a garage to my cars.

I feel like a stereotypical person now.

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2018, 01:44:00 am »
Lego Lego Lego Lego.... I had other toys, but my Lego was everything to me.

If you ask me what I am, before anything else,  I would say Engineer. Lego has historically been a boys toy (less so these days), but I considered it quite gender neutral.

Later in my childhood I graduated to racing radio controlled electric 1:10 scale cars, but again, I preferred building and tuning them to actually driving them.

I think I was born an engineer, so I don't think my toys defined me, I simply went for the thing that appealed most to my mind. As a child growing up I just stayed fairly clear of the 'boys toys' and the 'girls toys'.


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Offline MissyMay2.0

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #15 on: June 30, 2018, 05:00:56 pm »
When I first started transition I felt that I had to justify my feelings to others, and due to not being able to provide a physical cause for being Trans, I provided anecdotal evidence. It gets better though, because as I became stronger and more confident I no longer felt the need to justify my transition. “I am, because I say I am.” 😊

Amaki

Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2018, 11:26:06 pm »
When I first started transition I felt that I had to justify my feelings to others, and due to not being able to provide a physical cause for being Trans, I provided anecdotal evidence. It gets better though, because as I became stronger and more confident I no longer felt the need to justify my transition. “I am, because I say I am.” 😊

yeah no matter what I truly believe the same thing, Toys wise as I said yeah more building legos and what not. After my first NES (well the only one I ever had) it was a hand-me-down but still ever since than I found solace in games.. more or less locked myself up to avoid the real pain of the world

Offline David1987

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #17 on: July 27, 2018, 09:55:15 am »
I have 3 older brothers so I received a lot of their toys. Except when I was really little I had no one to play with, so I wasn't good at imagination games. I liked to try to build "useful" things, like a real car using pillows and flashlights or a real skateboard using legos. I tried to attach plastic bags to playmobiles and throw them from high places to see if it would act as a parachute. I put together some sort of house for my dinosaurs so they would have a place to sleep. I also had a police set that my grandma got me and my mom hated, it included sunglasses, a toy gun, a plastic beating stick and handcuffs, lol.
At school I played marbles with boys, eventually some girls joined. I had some barbies and a doll house, but I never knew what to do with it besides setting in all the furniture and then putting it all back, but I also had some sort of doll house medieval castle and I didn't know what to do with it either. Mostly I played videogames, drew and read.

Offline Jin

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #18 on: July 27, 2018, 10:17:05 am »
We were quite poor so did not have any trendy toys. Forced us to us our imagination to develop our own games. My Sis and girl cousins were all older so what toys there we had were mostly dolls and such.
I think that I was their favorite toy and that may have had some influence on me accepting the female part of my identity.
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Offline LexieDragon

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Re: Question about childhood toys and if they really define us
« Reply #19 on: July 27, 2018, 11:48:20 am »
Toys are toys. I had Stuffed animals, My Little Pony, GI Joe and Transformers, Legos, and all the video games. I do not think the have anything to do with teaching a child's gender.

That being said, I wonder how many children like toy x only because they are told that they have to like toy x and that they should not like toy y.
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