Author Topic: m going to come out ot my mom but I need advice on if this letter is enough info  (Read 385 times)

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Offline Southergirlsam

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Im going to come out to my mom but I need advice on if this letter is enough info
Dear mom,
I love you no matter what the contents of this letter may say and no matter what the results may bring.
You have always been my rock as I feel like no one else has ever been there for me through my struggles.  That being said I have always felt the need to hide something from you as I have never ever been sure how you would take it. I must ask you one thing before I tell you this though.  Please don’t over react or tell anyone else before I am ready for them to know as this is taking everything I have in me to tell even you right now but I need your help now more than ever. This includes step dad and grandma.
I am trans… and I have known this since I was at least 12 years old as this is when I first realized the difference in genders. I have been praying every night since then for even just boobs, if not long hair and a vagina. I have had dreams of the moment when I could give birth to my own children and it is eaten me from the inside out the fact that this will never ever be able to happen. I have always been jealous of the love I see that my girlfriends can have and the feeling they get when they are truly in love with someone.  I don’t feel any thing toward guy beside romantic love and am and always have been sexual attracted to girls. That’s why I have never come to you with this before. But as I get old and see my friends getting pregnant and settling down I have gotten worse. I feel jealous of them and feel like my life I will always be a failure. Therapy has helped in some ways but  has also helped me see that I cant hide this from you anymore. I feel like I should be normal but no matter what I do I cant allow myself to be happy. This is why I have become so distant from you. I planned on telling you after I moved out but I cant wait that long. I feel like 12+ years of hiding is already too long.
     I need you mom. I need the only constant in my life to help me through this. I love you so much.
I just couldn't hide this any longer.
            old realname

Offline Doreen

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Honestly I think its a beautifully worded letter, it speaks from your heart and soul.  Her reaction though.. is entirely up to her and not you. Nothing you can say or do (minus hiding it of course) will change that.  I honestly hope for the best reaction. Know though, that no matter what happens, you are at least being yourself instead of hiding it. 

This speaks volumes for your own amazing ability to step outside of comfort and be complete.

Offline Jessica

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I agree with Doreen, it is heartfelt and expresses your pain, while reaching out for a hand.

I hope the best for you, Jessica

"If you go out looking for friends, you are going to find they are very scarce.  If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere."

Offline KathyLauren

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It is a beautifully-written letter.  It brought tears to my eyes. 

It tells your Mom the important stuff: that you love her, what's up, and that you'd like her support.  Everything else, you can talk about once the ice is broken.

Good luck!
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly, beginning full-time; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS

Offline DawnOday

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A really beautiful letter. Your Mom will understand. My one suggestion though is to find a local support group that has a significant others program to inform Moms, Dads, Wives, Girlfriends. The more information they have the easier it is to convince them this is something you have to do.
Dawn Oday

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17