Author Topic: Now I’m Nicole  (Read 7781 times)

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Offline LizK

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #60 on: July 28, 2018, 04:00:13 pm »
It was actually very easy and quick, well the wait was an hour and a half, but once I got to see someone it only took a couple of minutes, I now have my temporary card .

I got a bit concerned because when I first went in the lady on reception asked if I had my doctors letter also, I said no because you can’t get the certificate without a doctors letter so why do I need another, anyway she was mistaken.

Driver’s license next week and the bank, then all the rest I guess. It begins...

Nicole


The Dr's letter is for the gender marker change. Some places are fine with changing it when you do your name and some will be pedantic idiots and refuse to change the gender marker with out it. It's all gatekeeper rubbish but I will admit I bit the bullet and got that letter. I had no issues having any of my details changed apart from Driver license where they were reluctant to change my gender marker...they did in the end but I could tell the woman doing it was not happy.

Glad it all worked out for you

Take care

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #61 on: August 02, 2018, 12:34:48 am »
Update on HRT affects

I noticed that my hips are getting wider, I looked in the mirror and I can definitely see more curves, I know I put a little weight on recently and my clothes didn’t seem tighter, I think it has gone to my legs, rear, and chest.

My boobs are growing, seemingly pointier, also my areolas appear to be getting bigger and smoother. I’m really happy about all these changes .

Update on Name change

I have been on the phone on hold a lot this week, so far all okay, varying levels of proof required from as little as what’s your new name and title, to please fill out these forms, include certified copies of xyz and mail them in and everything in between.

I have changed the important things from Medicare, healthcare, drivers license, bank, credit card etc, bills, as others have said just when you can’t think of more to change then post arrives from somewhere you completely forgot about.

Things have been generally good, I saw my therapist earlier in the week who said it was ok to have down days thinking about what I have missed, it’s actually healthy, so long as it doesn’t continue too long, it was only a couple of days 10 days ago so I think I’m fine.

My wife bought me a lovely scarf and a handbag trinket with my name on it today, it made me really happy.



Nicole

Offline Megan.

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #62 on: August 02, 2018, 12:42:14 am »
Progressing nicely hun .

I had a little fun wrapping my head around the wider hips/thighs = good thing, but it looks good don't it! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk


Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #63 on: August 02, 2018, 12:44:12 am »
@Niclole70
Dear Nicole: 
That was a wonderful update with all kinds of good news that you reported.  I am glad that you are starting to get out of your "down" times now.... things are looking up for sure.

... and the lovely scarf and a personalized handbag trinket with your name on it that your wife bought for you....  what a wonderful and accepting thing for her to do.... you are very fortunate to be sure.

Thanks for keeping us all updated.
Hugs,
Danielle

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #64 on: August 02, 2018, 07:33:25 am »
Progressing nicely hun .

I had a little fun wrapping my head around the wider hips/thighs = good thing, but it looks good don't it! X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk
Thank you Megan ,

I was quite surprised to suddenly see a change in that area, yes is definitely looks good, or more feminine which to me equals good, I need to watch my weight though because I don’t want to blow out in that area.

Nicole

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #65 on: August 02, 2018, 07:45:53 am »
@Niclole70
Dear Nicole: 
That was a wonderful update with all kinds of good news that you reported.  I am glad that you are starting to get out of your "down" times now.... things are looking up for sure.

... and the lovely scarf and a personalized handbag trinket with your name on it that your wife bought for you....  what a wonderful and accepting thing for her to do.... you are very fortunate to be sure.

Thanks for keeping us all updated.
Hugs,
Danielle
Danielle,

Thank you for your encouragement, yes I am feeling much better at the moment, my mood changes have surprised me somewhat but they are much better than being in a dark place as I was in my past life as a man, at least now when I’m down a touch I still feel happy about being myself.

I’m soo grateful that I have the love and support of my wife, my transition has been very hard on her, and we are by no means out of the woods yet, she has been my rock, and I would hate to loose her through this process.

Thank you for following my progress.

Hugs

Nicole

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #66 on: August 03, 2018, 04:28:16 pm »
Forgot to mention this the other day, I bumped into my old neighbour who moved out about 18 months ago when I was still overweight and full man mode, we had been neighbours for over 10 years and knew each other well.
I was in the supermarket, turned around and she was stood directly behind me; I naturally smiled and said hello and asked how she was going, she smiled back and said hi but I could tell she didn’t recognise me, I asked her and she said sorry no I have no idea, she stood back took a good hard look and still didn’t know, when I told her she was amazed and gave me a big hug, and told me I looked good.
It made me very happy that I had changed that much, I realise she probably didn’t recognise me because I was in a different context woman instead of man but still it felt good.

Nicole

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #67 on: August 05, 2018, 05:18:19 pm »
Hi Nicole,

WOW!!! So much has happened in my absence. Firstly, congratulations on getting your name changed legally. What an incredible milestone for you. Also congratulations on telling your Aunty and cousin and receiving a positive response. It should make their visit in November a little more special knowing you have their support. It seems like your CEO is not as bothered by your transition as initially thought. That is a relief to remove some unnecessary extra stress from your work environment.

I’m sorry you are not getting full acceptance from your sister. I hope that with some more time she will adapt to the new you and express more interest in your transition.

The feelings of loss you describe from your younger years are common. I experience the very same thing and at times can be overwhelming reducing me to tears. It is a genuine loss that requires a mourning process like any other major loss in life. It is healthy and important to not bottle up these feelings. Let them out, have a good cry if you need to, then you can look to the future (which you can control) and move on. What helps me get past these moments of feeling loss is knowing that having experienced that loss has made me who I am today, which is someone I have learned to really like. It also gives me the ability to appreciate what I do have so much more. You have a healthy, positive outlook in your life, so I am sure you will be perfectly fine managing these feelings of loss in your own way.

So happy for all the wonderful progress you have made recently.

Hugs,
Jayne

PS: don’t forget to look me up during your visit to Sydney next month.

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #68 on: August 05, 2018, 08:36:31 pm »
Dear Jayne,

Thank you for following my progress, looking back it has been an eventful few weeks, I’m glad I’m actually documenting my progress now, things slip by so quickly.

I am glad things at work seem to be settled for now, and on my sister front I have prepared a letter to her that I will be sending at some point today I think, I have detailed my feelings and tried to apologise for any wrong doings on my part in the past, and have asked for her acceptance, I hope it is taken in the conciliatory way it is meant to be. If she can’t accept me as her sister I guess we will drift apart.

Glad to have you back home, I’ll definitely try to look you up in Sydney.

Hugs

Nicole

Offline Nicole70

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Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #69 on: August 05, 2018, 08:47:52 pm »
Hair growth update

I just replied to another thread by Stephanie about Finasteride and it prompted me to take a photo of my hair, I have posted one photo from March and another from today to show the progress for those that are interested in hair growth.

I started taking finasteride low dose in October 2017, then at the beginning of February 2018 I started using minoxidil on my head, the first photo is from the end of March 2018 and the second photo is from today August 2018.

I use a generic version of the better known compound sold to help regain hair growth, the generic version has identical ingredients and strength but is 1/3 of the price.

End of March 2018



August 6th 2018


Nicole

Offline Stevi

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #70 on: August 06, 2018, 12:27:20 am »
Nicole,

Thanks for the encouragement.  Some years ago, I tried the generic version of minoxidil but I did not see any improvement.  My wife complained of the odor so I discontinued it.  I'll see if the finasteride only approach seems like it will do the trick.  If it doesn't do well, I'll see about adding the minoxidil back into the mix.

I need to get a good photo of the top of my head for a comparison for later on.

Stevi

Offline Stevi

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #71 on: August 06, 2018, 12:55:16 am »
Nicole,

I skimmed a little of your more recent posts.  I am way behind in keeping up with all my girlfriends here.

I am pleased to know that your wife is still working through it with you.  It can take a long while.  The apparent rate of change is relative to the perspective.  What seems like dead-slow to us, seems like bullet train fast to them.  It is hard at times to be patient, but you must be very patient.  Got my fingers crossed for you two.

I see you have made good progress on the name and gender change front.  Congratulations.  I need to call up Medicare and/or Social Security in the morning.  They can't seem to get themselves squared away with my gender change.  Gotta keep prodding them till they get it right.  I am still in limbo with my PA birth certificate.  Their website says it can take 15 weeks to process correction paperwork.  It seems like forever but it has not yet been 15 weeks.  I won't know even if they got the paperwork until after I don't hear from them sometime after the 15 weeks.

Last week, I was in my medical center for my routine endo visit.  I gave them Medicare and insurance cards.  They copied them but, evidently, didn't bother to actually enter the correct name into their records.  On the way out, my bill for copay was still in the old name.  Then, two days later, I called to check in with their pharmacy about my prescription and their caller ID brought up my old name.  AAARRRGGHH!  Had to get that fixed when I picked up my prescription.

Good luck to you all 'round,
Stevi

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #72 on: August 07, 2018, 01:34:35 am »
Well I sent my sister a message yesterday, I tried to be conciliatory, I won’t go into any details but I tried hard to make amends with her and to ask for her acceptance of me as her sister. She hasn’t responded at all, I know she has read it but complete silence from her end.

My hopeful side is telling me she is taking her time composing a response, but my logical side is telling me she is ignoring me. If she is ignoring me then I have to accept that I no longer have a sister, which is very sad. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.

Nicole

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #73 on: August 07, 2018, 02:18:38 am »
Well I sent my sister a message yesterday, I tried to be conciliatory, I won’t go into any details but I tried hard to make amends with her and to ask for her acceptance of me as her sister. She hasn’t responded at all, I know she has read it but complete silence from her end.

My hopeful side is telling me she is taking her time composing a response, but my logical side is telling me she is ignoring me. If she is ignoring me then I have to accept that I no longer have a sister, which is very sad. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.

Nicole
Dear Nicole,

I am hoping that she is taking her time to compose a thoughtful response. Stay strong and hope for the best. I have fingers and toes crossed for a happy outcome for you. You have made a brave first step by reaching out to her.

Hugs,
Jayne

Offline LizK

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #74 on: August 07, 2018, 03:03:32 am »
Well I sent my sister a message yesterday, I tried to be conciliatory, I won’t go into any details but I tried hard to make amends with her and to ask for her acceptance of me as her sister. She hasn’t responded at all, I know she has read it but complete silence from her end.

My hopeful side is telling me she is taking her time composing a response, but my logical side is telling me she is ignoring me. If she is ignoring me then I have to accept that I no longer have a sister, which is very sad. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.

Nicole

Hi Nicole

Oh wow you and you sister...me and my brother....what the heck. What are we going to do with them? The hard part is that horrible waiting for a response...imagining the best that might happen, the worst that might happen. I think the being made to wait indefinitely is very cruel and designed to extract maximum discomfort. I like your idea that she is considering her response to you carefully.

I hope you get a reply from her that opens the door, even if its just a fraction, for you to start a new relationship.

Take care
Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019

Offline Nicole70

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Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #75 on: August 14, 2018, 06:49:20 pm »
Update from this week

I haven’t heard anything from my sister, so I guess that is that, It’s not good for my mental health to think too much about it, I’m having to accept this is a price for living life true to myself, and be happy with those that love and accept me.

HRT progress, I’m coming up to 5 months, and had 2 months RLE, everything is stable, boobs still hurt and taking shape nicely. Struggling to diet, although I am currently succeeding. I can see some facial changes but they are subtle, what surprised me was when I looked at a recent photo of myself on my phone it showed me a timeline of selfies below and you could really see changes.

My electrologist has been away so I had a laser session a couple of weeks ago, and it had a really positive outcome the darker hairs have mostly disappeared leaving my complexion much clearer. I’m going to go back again in a couple of weeks to hopefully clear up the dark hairs that are left

Received my new drivers license with correct name, bank cards, Medicare and health fund card, I only have one card with my dead name on it and that is my credit card, I sent off the paperwork to HSBC but they seem to move at a snails pace.

Offline Alaskan Danielle

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #76 on: August 14, 2018, 07:48:59 pm »
Update from this week

I haven’t heard anything from my sister, so I guess that is that, It’s not good for my mental health to think too much about it, I’m having to accept this is a price for living life true to myself, and be happy with those that love and accept me.

HRT progress, I’m coming up to 5 months, and had 2 months RLE, everything is stable, boobs still hurt and taking shape nicely. Struggling to diet, although I am currently succeeding. I can see some facial changes but they are subtle, what surprised me was when I looked at a recent photo of myself on my phone it showed me a timeline of selfies below and you could really see changes.

My electrologist has been away so I had a laser session a couple of weeks ago, and it had a really positive outcome the darker hairs have mostly disappeared leaving my complexion much clearer. I’m going to go back again in a couple of weeks to hopefully clear up the dark hairs that are left

Received my new drivers license with correct name, bank cards, Medicare and health fund card, I only have one card with my dead name on it and that is my credit card, I sent off the paperwork to HSBC but they seem to move at a snails pace.

@Nicole70
I take it that not hearing from your sister may mean that she is not accepting your transition announcement??   Rest assured there are many of us here that are experiencing the same thing with family members that do not accept us.

Good news regarding your HRT 5 month report....  boobs hurting, consider that good news, something is happening, no pain... no gain.   Also good news about your hair situation...  and next session get rid of those dark hairs.

Oh, and the name and gender changes... very exciting for sure.   Just when you think that you have done all the name and gender changes, rest assured there will be more that pop up...
Some government agencies and private companies do these things quite quickly, but others takes more time and followup on your part....   all of this is very affirming for sure and it is a good feeling to see your new name and gender of the paperwork.

Thank you for sharing your good reports with all of us.
Hugs and hugs,
Danielle

Offline Jayne01

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #77 on: August 14, 2018, 11:42:38 pm »
Update from this week

I haven’t heard anything from my sister, so I guess that is that, It’s not good for my mental health to think too much about it, I’m having to accept this is a price for living life true to myself, and be happy with those that love and accept me.

HRT progress, I’m coming up to 5 months, and had 2 months RLE, everything is stable, boobs still hurt and taking shape nicely. Struggling to diet, although I am currently succeeding. I can see some facial changes but they are subtle, what surprised me was when I looked at a recent photo of myself on my phone it showed me a timeline of selfies below and you could really see changes.

My electrologist has been away so I had a laser session a couple of weeks ago, and it had a really positive outcome the darker hairs have mostly disappeared leaving my complexion much clearer. I’m going to go back again in a couple of weeks to hopefully clear up the dark hairs that are left

Received my new drivers license with correct name, bank cards, Medicare and health fund card, I only have one card with my dead name on it and that is my credit card, I sent off the paperwork to HSBC but they seem to move at a snails pace.
Hi Nicole,

Sorry about your sister. You are right about not thinking too much about it. Do what is right for you. I hope for you that she can someday change her views and start accepting you.

2 months RLE already?? Wow, time goes quick! HRT changes are slow and subtle. I still look in the mirror wondering what has changed. I don’t know, but comparing to a pre HRT photo of me, I do see differences. Glad the HRT is working well for you.

Way to go on all the name changes on your documents. You have most of the main ones out of the way and you will take care of the remainder as the opportunity arises.

Thanks for your update.

Hugs,
Jayne

Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #78 on: August 15, 2018, 03:01:31 am »
@Nicole70
I take it that not hearing from your sister may mean that she is not accepting your transition announcement??   Rest assured there are many of us here that are experiencing the same thing with family members that do not accept us.


Hi Danielle,

Thanks for your encouragement, things with my sister are a little more complicated but essentially I think she is not accepting of my transitioning. She has said in the past that she has no issue but she is acting very differently, essentially she has stopped communicating so I don’t know exactly what she is thinking.



Offline Nicole70

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Re: Now I’m Nicole
« Reply #79 on: August 15, 2018, 03:10:58 am »
I’ve just heard my dad has cancer, I’m devastated, not sure what the prognosis is yet as he was just told over the phone, and will see the doctor for more information as soon as he gets an appointment. I used to harbour a lot of resentment towards him because of some stuff we went through growing up but dealt with that in therapy in the last few years and our relationship has improved no end, also his acceptance of me as a woman took me by surprise and I am forever grateful for that.

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